AsYa SS: 'We are back!!' (ON HOLD)* - Page 30

Life. Life is so unpredictable. When you think everything is going fine and smooth that it is the time when your bubble bursts and you meet the reality. Same happened with me and my family. Zoya and I were waiting for our princess to arrive but as if destiny was have some other sort of plans. It has been four months since that incident but Zoya isn't able to recover. Doctors have said that she has gotten depression. Zoya didn't use stay quiet for long but now it has been months since I heard her voice. The only response we all get are the nods nothing more. She has stopped smiling not a sign of smile is on her face now. The only people with whom Zoya smiles are Ahad and Aman. That is the time I see my smiling Zoya. The most hurting part she is shrugging my touch. Does she held me responsible for the miscarriage? But her crying at night and her caresses on my face make me think something else. But it is getting hard for me to hold myself strong anymore. The tears I have held from the time I lost both Anabiya and Zoya are now threatening to fall. Yes I lost Zoya too. She isn't the same any more.

But I know she needs time to heal herself she needs time to gather herself. I took time also but at least I use to be with Zoya. I locked myself from the world but not from Zoya. She has locked herself from me and the world. I know what she must be doing. She must be in Anabiya's room. We both designed it. She cries there at night. I know she cries at night but she doesn't know that I know it. She is making me feel offal. I am losing her. Don't know when will I get my Zoya back.

Asad snapped out his thoughts on hearing knock at door. "Come in!" As soon Asad said this Prasad entered making Asad indulge in work. But only he knew that in his mind only the name Zoya was being called. "Sir you have a meeting with Mr. Khurrana in Hotel Blue Flame at 8:00." Prasad informed Asad and left.

Najma placed Ahad and Aman in their beds and sat by their side. It has been her routine since she is here. She has taken up the duty of Ahad and Aman. They both also jelled up with their phuphi well but sometimes they felt loneliness of their mother. "Phuphi!" Ahad said diverting Najma's attentions towards himself. "Yes Phuphi ki jaan." She said caressing his forehead. "Mama hume kyun nahi sulati? Aur mama ab humse baat bhi nahi karti!" Ahad asked innocently. Najma's eyes teared up seeing the innocent kid missing his mother's love. "Unki tabiyat kharab hai na Ahad isliye." She said taking him in his lap. "But pehle bhi mama ki tabiyat kharab hoti thi but woh humare pass hoti thi. Why this time?" Ahad stated his confusion. Najma felt herself tongue tied by Ahad. "Ahad you should sleep. You have to play with Haya tomorrow na. N your Mama will talk to you tomorrow. Okay?" Ahad being a kid was easily diverted but there was one person apart from Najma who heard this convo. and was in tears. Najma came out of the room and directly went to her room. She saw a sleeping Haya and got lost about he she came back here.

I still remember the day when Bhaijaan came to Abbu's house to take me. I remember his condition. He was so broken but not a single tear. Everyone in Siddique Mansion was shocked to see Bhai jaan on the door step that too in an extremely vulnerable state. I was the one to come forward first and placing a hand on his shoulder I asked immediately "Bhaijaan!!! Zoya kaha hai??" The way he looked at me with painful eyes made me move back say "No!! U can't believe on this Bhaijaan!??" His eyes expressed that he lost Anabiya. As if Bhai jaan could not take this anymore and he just me. Ammi was seeing everything and was about to hold Bhaijaan when I heard him saying something to me. "She broke her promise Najma!! Zoya.. broke her..promise." Bhai jaan was not crying but through his voice his pain was clearly reflected. I still don't know about which promise Bhai jaan was talking about. After that I remember how he said that he wants me to stay with him for some days. I knew he was asking it for Aman and Ahad since Nikhat was also broken and she couldn't control both of them together.

I remember how much difficult it was to deal with Aman and Ahad's wailing to meet Zoya at the beginning. Things got better once Ahad and Aman began to sleep being tired of the day. Unknowingly I chuckled recalling how they play with Haya daily. Every night I see Zoya coming out of there room. But it is not only Zoya who is suffering Bhai jaan is also suffering. I know how much pain he is going through. His pain has taken up the shape of anger. Nikhat told me how much he was changed. But I understand him also. Only thing I wish is that Zoya comes out of her shell. I heard some cries and turned towards the source. Haya was crying. I wiped the tears which unknowingly slipped out of my eyes.

Asad shook his hand with Mr. Khurrana finalizing the deal. "Allow me to have a coffee with you Mr. Khan." Mr. Khurrana asked. "Sure." Asad said with a light smile. The waiter came and orders were placed. On another table two men placed order of a soft drink and wine. Asad saw his phone and his eyes widened seeing a message from Zoya. "I want to talk something important. Come soon. I am waiting for you. Your Zoya." He read and saw the time when he received the message. He received the message at 8:30. He checked the time ant it showed 10:45. "Mr. Khurrana I guess we can have coffee some other time. Allow me to leave." Asad said. "At least we can have a soft drink." Mr. Khurrana proposed. "Okay but I am in a little hurry. So!" Asad replied not wanting to sound rude. Cold drinks came and Asad drank it in one shot. He scrunched his face at its taste. "That tastes different." He thought. "Well I think you are in extreme hurry!" Mr. Khurrana commented seeing him gulping the drink in one shot. "That is what I am." Asad said and bidding him bye he left. Once Asad moved out the waiter came running to their table where Mr. Khurrana was still sitting. "I am sorry for the giving the wrong order. The wine wasn't for this table. Kindly forgive." The waiter immediately apologized. "Hey man easy there. The service was authentic no wrong service. We received two soft drinks only." Mr. Khurrana replied much to the waiter's ease. But he was mistaken the service was wrong one indeed but it was unknown to him.

As soon Najma left Ahad and Aman's room Zoya entered. She sat near Ahad and Aman and caressed their foreheads. "I am sorry!! I promise Ahad apki mama kal apse zaroor baat karegi!" Saying so she placed kiss on their foreheads. "I am so sorry!" She cried and kept a hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs. Aman in sleep turned towards Zoya and hugged her through her waist. Zoya smiled but more tears welled up in her eyes. Where as Ahad turned and hugged Aman from his back. His one hands fell on Zoya's lap while one hand around Aman. Zoya slowly removed Ahad's hand and placed it on Aman. She smiled seeing Aman snuggling into her. She kissed their hands and slowly placed Aman back on pillow. She kept on moving her hands in their hairs. "Both have hairs like Asad." She chuckled lightly but then her smiled vanished thinking about Asad.

The only thought of Asad reminded me about the pain I gave him. I know how much pain he is going through but I can't bring myself out to him. Whenever he looks at me with love I feel more guilty. Guilty that just because of me we lost our...My vision was becoming blur and I knew that I should leave now. Placing a kiss on Ahad and Aman forehead I left the room. I soon I came out the sobs I muffled inside came out. I ran to my room and closed the door. My back was against the door and my hands on my mouth. I didn't want Najma to hear me out. I know that Asad don't blames me but what should I do with myself? This guilt is not ready to leave me. I know I have hurt him by shrugging his touch but I can't..just don't know why. FOUR MONTHS since I have talked to him properly. FOUR MONTHS since I saw him smile. FOUR MONTHS since I talked to my kids. But now it is enough. I can't punish three of them for a mistake they haven't committed. I will talk to Asad tonight. Yes I will talk to him. I need to talk. That is the only way I can get this guilt out of me.

With a determined look Zoya stood up and wiped her tears. She saw Asad's pic on the side table of bed and moved towards it. "I hurt you a lot right? I am sorry! I am really sorry Asad. I know you will understand." She said caressing his pic. She kissed his pic and went to bathroom to get a bath. She has to talk to him tonight and that was final.

On the other hand Asad was in his car when felt dizzy. He pressed his forehead feeling dizzy. The driver saw Asad's expression and asked "Sir are you okay?" "Yeah. I am fine totally." Asad said though he wasn't he was feeling as if his senses are being knocked out. The wine had started to show it's effect. The driver parked the car in and told Asad that they have reached. "O...ka..y! Yo..u ca.n go..." Asad stated being drunk. "Sir are you okay?" Driver asked seeing Asad behaving strange. "Meee? I am.. fi..ne. Act...uall..y I a..m be..tte..r." Asad said with a wide smile. The driver nodded and moved towards the servants quarter.

Asad came inside the room to see the sight he always missed. Zoya sleeping on the couch waiting for him. She was dressed in sleeve less black shirt and black trouser.

She slept because of the exhaustion she was having from the crying. Asad moved closer to her and sat by her side. He was completely out of senses by now. He raised his hand to remove her hairs from her face. As his hand was about to touch her he remembered how she shrugged his touch and that hurt him again. He moved back and being drunk he could not control his state making him fall. Zoya opened her eyes to see a fallen Asad. "Asad!" She said in shock. She moved forward to help him but stopped seeing him raising a hand. "NO!!" He shouted. "You don't!!" He said getting up and showed her his finger.

Zoya's eyes widened seeing Asad in such condition. "Asad you are drunk?" Zoya said shocked. "Drunk??" Asad said frowning. He sat on the sofa with a thud and said "What is that?" Asad giggled and said "Ohh you mean that why I am at home?" He was about to hold her hand when Zoya moved back in shock. She could not believe that Asad took this meaning of her words. But for Asad it was like she is repelling from his touch. "Zoya...you know na..that I..I..love you..itna.. sara.." He said opening up his arms to show how much he loves her while Zoya looked at him confused. She knew Asad can't drink intentionally and right now his question was confusing her.

"Asad listen.." Zoya was cut off by Asad. "No..you..listen to me.. you know na I love you..then why you do..this??? I..I don't like it..You are...not...good..you don't talk to me." Asad finished later but Zoya's eyes watered early only. Asad who has turned his face in opposite direction now turned towards Zoya hearing a sob.

He turned to see the heart breaking sight of Zoya crying. He quickly moved towards her. "Zoya...stop..crying..You know..na that I..don't like tears in your eyes.." Asad said wiping them making Zoya cry more. She didn't knew that what Asad was talking about but he was hurt and his lines clearly reflected that. "Oka..y you ..are crying because..I touched ..you..Fine..I won't touch you...ever..but stop crying...I..can't see you..crying.." Asad said moving back and standing far away from a shocked Zoya. She froze at the spot as soon Asad said this. She knew Asad was hurt but she didn't knew that Asad had taken up this meaning from her shrugging. "I.. know.. you..are ..missing ...Anabiya..but Zoya..don't cry..see na now toh I am...this much far ..and I am no..t touching..you also...stop crying.." Asad said like child making Zoya's eyes to bring up more tears.

So how was it?

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Till the next time,

GOOD BYE!!

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