A woman not judged by her actions but perception of society -Ram

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
It was one of the very impactful sentence that I had come across in entire SKR after Janak's " Lift the dhanush and prove your Bhakthi ". The reason is, it is still relevant today. Whether in personal sphere or in professional sphere why a woman has to fight harder than the man. Reason it is not what she does, but how you perceive her matters. A working woman cannot pay attention to husband and kids. For a woman career has to be secondary while family life first priority. A woman has to get married. A woman should have kids. You all know as a person I am neither against marriage nor against motherhood. But the fact is why it is drilled into a girl's head from childhood the only purpose of her life is marriage and motherhood. Why she is denied other dreams or why it is said that other dreams should be secondary. What she studies depends on whether she will get a groom. Where she goes for job depends on whether the boy's parents approve of such a girl.

And when problems happens point the finger at the girl. How do you expect a girl to happy when her dreams are suppressed. She can put a facade for sometime, but for how long. Maybe 1 generation will thrive, what about the next generation. Some women may accept. What about the woman who are suppressing their anger and expressing it in different way. Maybe doing emotional atyachaar on the kids or fighting with the spouse.

I am talking about these things now because I see many divorces coming to light after 20-25 years of marriage now. Why. That time those woman just agreed as the society was rigid. Now since divorce is common even those people are coming out and divorcing. What does that mean. The facade of the happy family we believed to exist is just a facade. Divorce has become a common norm. Sometimes it feels bad. But the root cause of the present problem lies in what Ram said yesterday. Fixing the woman to a certain perception. One of the real extreme bad effect of that perception is the fact that now girls have created the perception of a man. Fighting with him for even the smallest causes. The guy will not be so bad. But her perception, the way she grew up will make her fight, fight for the silliest of the reason.

The question to present generation is whether we want to live with perceptions or with reality. Yes we need to fit ourselves into the perception created by the society, the girl can decide what she wants. But shouldn't she observing the limits. Shouldnt she give the man the same leeway as she expects from him. Should he be judged based on what his ancestors did or are you open to give him a chance. Just like you he too carries a baggage. Learn give and take. Many guys are opening up these days. I have many colleagues who support their working wives including childcare. We have to coexist. Give Ram a chance. Dont put him along with the rest of the hypocrite society or Ravana. For me our generation is the turning point. What we do can of course give something better for the next generation. We have seen the past where woman is oppressed and our own struggle within the system for an identity which many of us have got. So if we do it correctly the next generation will be in a better position to coexist amicably

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Siya-Ram thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
Parents divorcing is something I don't like. The Children are affected. Few cases may be genuine yet before they take up the reponsibilty of parenthood they should be sure of the relation. Few cases are exceptional.
In my school there is a girl whose parents are separated. She stays with her father. He is a workaholic. She is taken care by her grandfather even parents meet he attends. She has some difficulty in studying which should have been addressed before now in tenth they realise and she has improved. The mistake has happened and aren't her parents responsible?
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3
@sanju you asked the most valid question. Shouldnt the parents be sure of their relation before they decide to have the kids. In some cases it is believed that if there are kids divorce wont happen. Many times women will compromise for the kids. But believe me in certain situations it is better for the child to grow up with a single parent than the warring parents. Parents together doesnt mean happy family. A child is scarred beyond imagination if everyday he or she comes and see their parents fighting. It can affect their lives a lot in a very very bad way.
Divorce yes a child will lose faith in marriage may be. And it is happening. Unless marriage on the basis trust and understanding kids dont see the institution will further move into degradation and before we know it will be anarchy in everything which includes multiple partners and live -ins which is already happening.

Siya-Ram thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4
Yes that's true fighting at home and destroying the child's peace of mind rather childhood itself it's better to part ways. After that whichever parent takes reponsibilty must do it properly is my point they can't be bitter to the child or ignore the child just because it might remind them of their past.
Children might develop a wrong perception either mature knowledge or right parenting by the single parent will make them understand reality.
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