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A Night Of Utter Despair
Write up:Shruti
He stood there...absolutely alone...his heart bleeding...
a conflict raging inside him...pulling him apart..
His brothers stood shocked...Raja Ram would renounce Ayodhya..leave them
He was determined...
He would always choose Site over everything else...
She was his soulmate...divine..pure in her deeds... gracious ..
I can't abandon her...
His brothers plead him to reconsider his decision...
Ram shows his wounded heart...
Bhadra believes Site is impure...
his hollow voice echoes in the hall...
Bhadra reflects the thoughts of the whole society...
He could not change their thoughts..
A king should be ideal in his dealings...
He couldnt continue being the king of Ayodhya..
Renounce it he must...
She has his name on her every breath..
with folded hands she prays for his good name...
Allow me to move away...
I seek your forgiveness for not being able to fulfill my vows...
he begs...
His soul cries for mercy...
But his ancestors hurl sharp daggers of truths towards him...
they pierce him deep...
He could not hold his personal wishes higher than the interests of his kingdom...
He was Ram...he represented Raghukul...
He couldnt malign the name of his Kul...
Defeated he falls...
numb with pain...
He was Maryada Purushottam...
the best amongst men...
his conduct had to be exemplary...
his feelings..his desires ...his emotions...his love..pure n eternal..
for his innocent wife was meaningless...
His conscience reminded him...
he had to decide but he had no options..
He killed the loving husband...
strangled the gentle lover..
muted and gagged the father of the unborn child...
He let the king live...
For Raghukul and for Raghukul's maryada
I vow to abandon Site..
A king had sacrificed what was the most precious for him...
He had safeguarded his Kul but he had blemished his good name forever...
He urged Laxman n Bharat to banish Sita in a dense forest...
without informing a soul..
they trembled at the thought...horrified...
They are ready to defy him but not to commit such a sin...
He orders Laxman ...
His heart is broken ...
shattered into a million pieces...
the shards dig in deep...the wounds overflowing...
She is fast asleep...innocently...
unaware of what awaits her...at Ma Gauri's feet...
He wants to caress her ...
assure her of his undying love...
protect her from the pain he was about to inflict upon her...
upon his beloved Site...
He hardens himself and snaps the thread that tied them
He turns to go...Raghunandan...
her sweet voice echoes and vibrates...
deep inside his hollowed self...
He trembles with immense pain...
fearful he would give himself away...
You had come to meet me...
and you were going away without meeting me...
she questions with a smile...
Were you able to take the decision you had to take...
He felt a jolt...
Shaken to the core he nods in affirmation..
He had taken the most difficult and painful decision of his life...
A decision which had separated a loving husband from his life...his wife..
He was denying even the smallest bit of happiness to himself...
I took the decision for the sake of the kul,maryada,niti and the good of the masses...
he confesses ..
hoping she would forgive him for the sin he was about to do...
He was not able to meet her eyes...
Hers sparkling with love...
happiness and faith for him...
His laden with guilt anguish...remorse...grief ...misery...
mutely seeking forgiveness from her...
You had wanted to go to the forest and meet the sages for their blessings...
he reminds her gently...
She glows with happiness...
I did..when can we go??
He closes his eyes in remorse..
just a few minutes more of pretense...
just a few words more of deceit...
just a few moments more of unbearable suffering..and it would be over ..
He holds himself..his voice throbbing with pain...
We would leave at dawn...
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