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I meant to post this ages ago, when the Bharat Milaap track was being shown, but it's only been a million years since then so not *too* late I guess 😆 I think it was the premature retirement track they gave Bharat that threw off my timing since this one-shot is set after he takes the reigns of Ayodhya - so assume it's after the Bharat-Mandavi scene in the show when he lets her know he's going to attend to his responsibilities in spite of how guilt-ridden he still feels. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!
It was a quiet day in Nandigram. A few months had passed since that fateful day in Chitrakoot; the people of Avadh would never be able to forget the unprecedented display of love and devotion that occurred that day, the overwhelming wave of emotion that they experienced had since faded into a seemingly endless routine. A routine of admiring their current ruler, awaiting their future one, and wondering what sin they had committed because of which this thick mist of despair seemed to loom over them forever. When would these days end?
Meanwhile, their ruler, too, was lost in thought. The nobles had no official edicts for him to sign that day, nor any new act of charity to sponsor. He was left to himself, his lord's charan paduka, and his thoughts.
Often the thoughts that he had during such moments of solitude were focused on his Ram Bhaiya. Where must he, bhabhi, and Lakshman be at this very moment? Were they comfortable there? Had any thorns dared to prick their sacred feet on the way? Was he himself fulfilling his Bhaiya's command to his expectations? Was there any shortcoming in how he was handling the kingdom on his behalf, and was there anything more he could do to please him? Was there anything more he could give up, any other pleasure he could trade away in exchange for taking on some of his Bhaiya's pain?
He would also be concerned about Mata Kaushalya and Mata Sumitra. How were they dealing with the absence of their sons? Was he doing enough to console them during this difficult period? His own heart was still in such a vulnerable state after all that had transpired, that he wasn't sure how to go about building up anyone else's courage just yet.
Speaking of courage, what about poor Urmila! Why had he led her to believe her sorrows would end after his journey to Chitrakoot, and how was she able to swallow her own pain to provide comfort to the rest of the family during such long and difficult days?
He would have worried about Mandavi and how she kept her sanity while he was here with the opportunities for solitude and reflection, and she was there amidst responsibilities towards so many. However, he had seen in her the same spirit of resilience and inextinguishable optimism that Mata Sumitra embodied - perhaps that is why the two women shared such a special bond. Yes, Mata Sumitra would take care of his Mandavi when she needed to unburden her heart to someone, and together they would take care of the others. Mothers seemed to have that re-energizing effect on their daughters - reminding them of their responsibilities, and more importantly, the fact that they are more than capable of fulfilling them... just as the sacred bond that fathers share with their sons. A bond that not too long ago, he shared with his own father...
... His father. That's whom Bharat's thoughts went out to on this particular day. Of course, he missed all the moments of laughter and life lessons and boundless affection that Pitashri left behind. So much so that after having undergone painstaking effort to convince a dwaarpal to give him a detailed account of what he missed when he was away at "Maharani Kaikeyi's" maternal home, he simply could not connect that description of bereft, shattered, inconsolable Dashrath with the strong, smiling image of his father imprinted in his mind.
But it was even worse than that. With much hesitation, the dwaarpal had revealed to Bharat something that pierced his heart anew. Something that added the weight of several mountains to the already unbearable burden of guilt that Maharani Kaikeyi's actions had thrust upon him. As Ram Bhaiya left the city, his father said certain words. The first of them were addressed to Kaikeyi - he disowned her, just as Bharat had upon hearing of her conduct, and this part he could understand.
But immediately after that, his father had said that "If Bharat returns and sits on the throne begotten in this most treacherous manner, I shall disown him as well, and I will not even accept the offerings he may make upon my death!" Those words were just recently revealed to Bharat, and they were what seized his thoughts today. Those words shattered his soul, and because of them, no amount of counsel from great sages like Vashisht and Bharadwaj could relieve him of his self-loathing.
His father actually doubted him, and left him before Bharat (or Ram Bhaiya, on his behalf) could prove his innocence. He actually thought that in spite of having such venerable ancestors and a father with such honor and integrity, his son would succumb to greed, or even circumstances, and accept something verily stolen from the one whom Bharat loved and worshipped with every fiber of his being. The one whom he so loved was traversing on paths of thorns, and sleeping on beds of grass, and residing under roofs so delicate that the rain could dare to seep through them cause him further discomfort. All of that, because of the scheme that would give an undeserving and ignorant servant his master's throne. And Bharat would be so shameless as to accept it?
For his father to even entertain such a doubt, Bharat was sure that he himself had earned it. Maybe it was all of those games during childhood, when Ram bhaiya would purposely let Bharat win and Bharat would proudly accept the victory. Maybe it was the quiet brooding in his nature because of which his true thoughts were too often left to the imagination. Maybe it was his rivalry with Lakshman; since he was the one fortunate enough to insist upon accompanying bhaiya, his loyalty was proven and Bharat's left in question. Or maybe, it was simply the stigma of being his mother's son. Whatever was the source of such a doubt, today, its implications agonized Bharat to no end and caused him to doubt himself as well.
All the years filled with joyous memories of his father's warmth and affection could have helped Bharat overcome the grief of losing him, but the fact that he left with such uncertainty regarding his son's character was a blow he couldn't withstand. "Pitashri, if only once, you could come back to me for even a few moments, so I could either regain your love and trust or apologize for whatever I did to disqualify for it... please, please do not let me burn this way any longer without your soothing embrace to give me succor!" With this plea, Bharat dropped to his knees before the charan paduka of his lord and and sobbed beyond control. In the midst of the storm of tears, he must have fallen into a swoon...
... Because a little later on, something awakened him. A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, and by its touch, half of Bharat's heartache seemed to heal. Bharat turned around and was taken aback by what he saw: his late father, dressed in dazzling white garments with a twinkle in his eyes and smiling countenance, just as he remembered it! He was surrounded with the sort of glow that was supposedly characteristic of celestials, and judging by his lively expression, one would never guess that any of the events of this tragic "kaand" had actually occurred. At first, Bharat blinked a few times to convince himself that this wasn't just a dream. When he realized that it wasn't, he parted his lips in order to say something, but the words wouldn't escape them... he just stood there, heart racing, breath ragged, tears streaming down his otherwise blank face which couldn't decide which of the countless emotions overwhelming him it should express first. It was his father who opted to break the silence.
"What happened, my boy? You were better at wiping others tears than shedding them yourself, if I remember correctly," he said with a warm smile.
Bharat couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile himself at the pleasant memory that had just been revived for him, but he still didn't know how to proceed because he was hardly sure what was going on. "I know, but I... but you... you were... and now... I just... how can this be?" he finally managed to ask.
With a slight chuckle, Dashrath sat down beside his son without removing his hand from his shoulder. Seeing that Bharat's face was streaked with tears and his eyes a deep red from shedding them, he nodded with compassion and used his other hand to wipe them away. Then, he continued. "Well, it seems as if your asking how I could be here, even after leaving my mortal body. As it turns out, this new celestial body isn't bound by the old rules. Most people choose not take advantage of the freedom, since even the heavenly pleasures up there don't last forever, and they want to enjoy them to the fullest before having to return, but for me," he paused and smiled at his still awestruck son, "for I who was blessed to be the father of divine sons like you and your brothers, heavenly pleasure is simply watching over and continuing to dote on you!" He tenderly stroked his son's head.
Bharat let out a ragged breath as he tried furiously, but futilely, to wipe away his tears. "But I don't deserve it! This was all my fault... you went through so much sorrow because of me! I am to blame for this whole tragedy. It's my fault, even you know it is." He looked down, unable to meet his father's gaze as he was so wrought with self-contempt.
This time it was the father whose eyes welled up. Such a humble son he had, who didn't even have the slightest inkling of his own worth! "Who said it's your fault, my son? I haven't heard anyone say that, and if they did, it's their own loss that they don't have the privilege of knowing you better."
"But... even you didn't believe in me before you left us, so there must be some shortcoming, I must be lacking in some way or you wouldn't have thought that I --"
Before he could complete the sentence, his father interrupted, "I could never seriously have thought that, Bharat!" The son was stunned. "Yes, I know what you were going to say, because I heard your prayer." As he was about to ask how, the father explained, "all prayers can be heard in that realm. Indra may wish to pay attention to those of the demons who seek powers and threaten his position. I only care for my position as a father and thus want to know the wishes, fears, and concerns of my sons - whether I am in this realm, the next, or the ones beyond that. In fact, I don't even wish to go to the ones beyond that after having experienced the supreme bliss of loving God Himself as my sons. And today, when I saw that you lost faith in yourself because of something I said in the heat of the moment without ever intending any of it, I had to come back for you."
Bharat was once again at a loss for words. He let himself fall against his father and be enveloped in his sturdy, reassuring embrace. When he was finally able to do so, he began, "I didn't want any of this to happen. In fact, I wouldn't even have foreseen it in my worst nightmare. That the queen would think I wanted a throne to whose true occupant I feel blessed to be bound as a servant forever. That he would be sent to suffer so that I could usurp it. That you would crumble in his absence and leave us all behind. That everything would be reduced to such irreparable ruins. But it happened, all in the name of my happiness. I can't bear to live with that. If only you could take me with you, Pitashri!"
In a voice choked with emotion, the father said, "You have such a soft and delicate heart, my boy! And I know exactly where you got it. Oh well; at least there's something of mine in you by which future generations can associate me with my wonderful children." Bharat looked up and couldn't contain how happy that made him. Of all the praises being showered on him, the only one that mattered was this - that in spite of all that happened, he was still his father's son.
But still greater words followed. The father firmly grasped his son's shoulders and looked directly at him. "My son, I know you are heartbroken over your mother's sins and are pained to even think that the woman who brought you into this world and nurtured you could fall so far. You even avoid thinking of her and contemplate on everyone else instead, because deep down in your heart you still love her and consider her actions and their consequences to be your own. Now listen to me. Give up this self-loathing. I do not fault you in the remotest possible way for any of it, nor for still loving her though you now deny it. In fact, it makes me proud of you, that this is who you are - one who loves so purely and empathizes so deeply with one and all.
In due time, Ram himself will help you realize that this was all a game of destiny, and everything happened for the best so that future generations could follow the examples that all participants in this game have set. Let alone myself, not even the most ignorant of fools will doubt your selfless love for Ram which you demonstrated on that fateful day in Chitrakoot. In fact, I think it to be greater than my own, since you so love him that on his command you are able to wait for him more patiently than I could. Brothers in future generations from any corner of the universe will forget all their rifts caused by self-interest when they contemplate on the brotherly love my sons share. It will function as a needle pulling thread, mending all manmade divisions to bring about unity and selflessness in whomsever's mind it comes. This is my hope, my belief, my undoubted conviction. So go forth and do your duty as Ram intends, and know that your father loves you very much."
They locked one another in one final embrace, after which Bharat opened his eyes to see that his father had gone. And with him went all of the guilt, the self-loathing, the pain, the helplessness, and the insufferable endlessness of his longing. They were replaced with courage, patience, a renewed clarity of and dedication to duty... and yes, if it was possible, even more love.
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