In the blue diamond Stadium!
"He is here, finally he is here..."
"Awww he is so cute.."
"And soo handsome."
The crowd was cheering for him. For whom I don't know. I looked at Simi who were jumping in her seat to see the face of him. I sat there without any interest. I'm not a sports person and this Simi, she will die for it. I don't know how she can watch those boys fully covered with smelling sweats; yuck. I made a face at her over enthusiastic nature. I hate being happy, those were always short lived.
"Yippieee Sharon finally I saw him." I came out of my thoughts when she shook me with my shoulders.
"Huh. Who?"
"You were not watching." She asked with a weird face.
"No. Was that any matter to care?"
"Are you crazy, are you really a girl...?"
"You don't know the star player of the event. Every girl in India has a crush on him and you are here telling me that you don't know him." She made a mess of it.
"I don't know him. Care to tell me." I asked her irritated.
"Ok ok. Don't get irritated."
"He is cute; he is a man with charm. He has everything that a girl can die for. He is handsome. When he plays we can only watch him. We could not take our eyes from him."
"Stop stop stop... don't exaggerate. Just say the name." that time I didn't know that minute could change my life and it did.
"His name is Swayam Shekhawat."
The earth slipped beneath my foot. My breath hitched in my throat. Someone squeezed my windpipe. The air refused to enter into my system, I felt choked.
After some time the match started. Simi continued to cheer for him, for my Swayam. The crowd followed her. I felt pure jealousy.
The moment I looked up my eyes got connected with his, for a moment he stood there immobile. He didn't move nor did I. The world stopped for us, to connect those two hearts, which refused to be with each other.
***
When I could not stand under his accusing gaze, I ran away from there.
"You can't run away from me Sharon. ...You can't do that again."
I stopped dead on my track. I did not have the guts to turn and look at his eyes. His blue eyes haunted me in day and night.
We stood there without moving for some time, after few minutes he effortlessly jerked me towards him. I crashed with his broad chest.
"Why were you running?"
"Sharon..." he said softly. I couldn't stop myself from looking at him.
He looked the same, the same old boy who made my life beautiful, who filled love in my pallid life, who taught me the meaning of love, my lover boy, my Swayam.
Have I ever had the right to call him mine?
Maybe No. I smiled at my fate. This guy standing in front of me, the only one who loved me, who cared about me... but what I did... I pushed him away. Just far away that he could not touch my heart again with his love, but the distance was nothing he continued to do that without his own knowledge.
He held my chin with his two fingers.
"Won't you even smile at me, Sharon?" His voice was so painful that I wanted to hide him in my warm embrace.
"Swayam," I said quietly, if he was not standing this close to me then he would not have heard what I said.
His arm tightened around my waist, he pulled me close to himself as it was possible.
We both stared at each other.
"I'm still in love with you Sharon."
That was enough for me to come to my real world. I harshly pushed him from me. He stumbled back to few steps.
I once again tried to run away from him but before I do that he held my wrist firmly and said without waiting for me to turn.
"I still love you Sharon, after these seven years I still love you. And I will make sure that this time I get what I want"
After this, he left my hand and I turned to see him but he was not there. He was already gone.
***
"You love him, Sharon, give it a chance."
I stared at Simi as if she has grown into a witch. She is really crazy, she thinks, Sharon is in love, the Sharon rai Prakash in love. Impossible.
"It is possible Sharon." her voice broke the silence of the room.
"Did I say that loud?" I said quietly.
"Yes, you did." She smirked.
Her smirk grew wide when she came to know that I'm getting irritated.
"Simmi.. you go home we will talk later."
I crossed my arms across my chest and stood there looking at the woman who was giving me lectures about love.
Love is this, love is that... stupid thing!
"Love is not stupid Sharon."
"Haa. The most beautiful feeling." I quoted.
If I hate anything in this world then that will be that four letter word. "LOVE" the nonexistent word in my life, and I will not let anyone enter that in my world again.
"I hate it with a passion."
"What?"
"I hate the feeling love, Simi."
"But why? You know its..."
"To know, to feel and to give we need to get it too. I can't give anything I don't know what is. And I can't feel it without knowing how it feels. I don't know how to give something which I never got."
"And how can you hate it without knowing how it feels?"
Her question made me speechless. I could not open my lips to reply to her.
"You are lying Miss Sharon; you are just afraid; just afraid to let him in. You are being so weak. Let your mask down and be a woman."
After this, she stormed out of my room.
I stared at her back without blinking; I know I had started to cry by the time. She knows me so well.
I thought about my college days where I saw him first, where I fell for him, where he made me fall for him. Seven years passed, and he still love me,
Did I do anything wrong by hiding my feelings? I asked myself.
No Sharon, you didn't. He deserves happiness. And your happiness is short lived. Let him go.
My mind told me and I did the same. I let him go. I laid on my bed to sleep with his thoughts clouded my mind.
****
Somewhere else in the city:
"I will make you fall in love with me Sharon... again and this time I will tie you to me like you can't run away in your lifetime. This time I will make you accept it. You will not able to hide it anymore. I will bring it out. The all love that you had buried inside your heart...it's my promise on my love. And this is the last time I'm letting you run away. From tomorrow you will face me anywhere anytime." Swayam said looking at her photo.
The tears had blurred his vision when he finished talking to her.
****
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