RIYA's POV
I am here again, to find what future has stored for me. This is the same place from where it all started. The same place from where I have got many things betrayal, accusations, hatred, love and now loneliness.
First I got betrayal by my own sister, almost death by her attempt of making things right for herself, followed by all the accusations of being careless, characterless, cheater, humiliation from those whom I considered my family.
Then the certificate of me being victim not culprit by my so called first love Karan when I had suffered the undeserved hell. Unwillingly I was tied in sacred bond with the person who had stood against his whole family only for me, the one who had confessed his love to me but never claimed it.
It is the same place where Karan again tried coaxing with me, asked me to forget everything and accept him like I am some toy to him whom he can push or pull away/to himself whenever he wants after he came to know the real truth which I had tried showing him from the day one.
This is the same place because of which I got him though for some time, still. He the first person who supported me in every step I took, guarded me from every evil, loved me like no one did, Arjun my first and last love.
Yes first love and I am sure about this because what I feel for him is nowhere stands near what I had felt for Karan. It was infatuation for Karan. I surely had grown liking for him as my would-be-husband, but with Arjun it is different. What I feel for him can't be described in words. Last one too because I know now nothing can repair my damaged heart and no one can replace his image which is imprinted on my soul forever.
He has been the reason of my laugh when my lips have refused to form a smile. He has been the reason of my solace when my mind has formed the habit of discomfort due to all the drama going around. He has been the same person who has showered me with all his love and care when I have royally ignored him and his feelings. I guess that's why I am getting this punishment, this unbearable pain in my heart, shattering me into pieces, killing me each passing moment.
I want to laugh at my fate, at the same time want to scream "Why this is happening to me? Why?"
Today everything was going to settle down. I was goanna end Sakshi's crap in the party by bringing that girl whom she declared killed by bade papa. Her mystery was no more goanna be mystery anymore. Her blackmailing was going to end today. Today I was going to make Arjun understand that I do love him and I did everything for him and his family that was mine too before sometime. I was so happy that my first love will not remain incomplete; it will get its destiny.
Only if I knew that everything is going to change. I am going to be reason of my own agony. Isn't that said everything you give that gets back to you here only. This is the end result of that only. When Arjun was trying to make me believe he do love me what I did?
I never trusted him, took him for granted. Never acknowledged his feeling, in return only hurt him. I insulted his love by not trusting him, when he had blindly supported me.
"Bina bharose ka rishta mere liye koi maayne nahi rakhta Riya"
His words came echoing in my mind, shattering my insides. I have broken his trust, our friendship by not believing him. Not understanding his behaviour.
Today I am experiencing the pain which he might have gone through of not being able to be with the person whom you love the most. I have kept him away from myself now destiny is doing the same with me.
The scene few minutes before come flashing to my mind which is the reason of my grief...
The girl whom everyone assumed dead, for avenging whose death Arjun had forgot all morals and values and had turned into blind ragged beast. She was alive; his first love was alive and was embracing him in front of my eyes, his Roshni.
World stopped revolving for me seeing the scene unfolding in front of my eyes. When today I thought my broken mangalsutra was going to get repair, life has snatched away the person who was supposed to be the one tying it. Mangalsutra slipped from my hand slowly and lay on floor where now our broken relation lays too.
I saw shock registering in his eyes at the sudden face off of his past. I was shocked too when Roshni asked her Arjun from me.
I was numb too react. How could I possibly let go of him. I love him and he too though he is angry.
I was still debating with myself when Sakshi butted in and told her that she didn't have to ask me because he was all hers as our divorce was already in process. That brought me back to cruel reality.
I looked up to see him, his stand but all I got in return was his intense gaze locked up with mine questioning one giving away nothing. He was no more mines to call. I could have fought for him, for us but my mind has to recall the memory when he had revealed his past to me. I knew how much he had loved Roshni. Staying away for few days have made me realized the pain of separation which he might have gone through a lot more than me all those years. I could not be selfish. I could not let him suffer in all those process of choosing in between two of us with whom he wants to be.
It will only hurt him. I have given him enough of pain, I won't be reason, of his agony anymore. With that thought I backed out. Breaking me was acceptable to myself rather than seeing him broken. With great difficulty I put up smile on my face and had congratulated both of them for their reunion and have given wishes for good future. Not only that, had convinced family to accept her as their son's bride.
Every second staying there was piercing my soul. I just couldn't handle myself anymore. Before my control slipped and I broke down I have literally ran from there not having any stamina to withstand the happenings ignoring every call.
I ran and ran as fast as I could, without caring where I am going. I just ran where my legs were taking me without caring to wipe tears flowing through my eyes continuously. When my body refused to move further I stopped realising the place where my fate has brought me. Same mandir from where my life has changed. Rawte's Kuldevi's Temple near bridge at the other side of river, same place from where everything had changed.
Back to present my dried up eyes started welling up at the memory of us together which is now not possible. In dreams his mine but in reality he is now my dream.
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