Happy Ganesh Chaturthi to everyone!
Chapter 6
Rey drummed his fingers impatiently. The blazer he was wearing was starting to feel a bit too heavy. He hooked a finger on the turtleneck of his T-shirt and ran his finger in a circle, stretching the fabric, trying to make it a bit breezier. Lightly whistling to himself and fidgeting with his hair, he first saw her entering the dining area looking around.
When her eyes settled on him, he realised he had frozen. His hands were up in his hair and he probably had his mouth open, gawking. Not a pretty first impression. Instinct told him to lower his hand while his brain told him to wave at her and in a mix, he ended up hovering his hand, awkwardly, like a drowning man. Lovely. He finally caught himself and waved back at her, unsure. Tani waved back and made her way towards him.
In the entire six months he had dated her, he never remembered her to be looking this beautiful. Many a times he had thought he just imagined her to be so, glorified everything about her in his head; maybe because he missed her so terribly. But no, she was gorgeous and there was no denying it. Her features hadn't changed much. She was still slight with long poker straight hair. Her eyes were still liquid brown and her smile still felt genuine. Rey didn't know what he was expecting but it was slightly disconcerting to see nothing had changed and yet a lot had. The way she held herself had become more confident. She hadn't started blabbering nonsense the moment she sat down, like the way she used to. And yes, Rey wasn't head over heels in love with her anymore.
Then why did his stomach do the weird backflip the moment she looked his way? Maybe nerves.
"Rey," she said, her voice softer and an octave deeper than it used to be, "how have you been? It's been a long time."
"Yeah, long time," he managed. "You could have texted once in a while," he blurted out before he had the sense to stop himself.
He saw Tani visibly stiffen. "That wouldn't have helped much. Not after everything that happened."
"Right," Rey grumbled, looking away. He couldn't help the lump in his throat; no matter how much he tried to gulp it away, it just wouldn't go.
Rey knew four years ago, it was his mistake. He had started taking Tani for granted. He loved her, true, but they had fallen into a rhythm where he felt like they were permanent, like nothing would ever change that. Tani was always around him, whenever he needed her, and he started taking advantage of that fact. He started completely disregarding the fact that she was also a person with a life that did not revolve around him. But the way she always made time out for him, made him feel so. He started imposing his decisions on her, to a point that when Tani said she wanted to drop out of the college and pursue BBM, he flipped out and downright refused to let her do that. He even went to the extent of threatening her to break all bonds if she did so.
To his defence it wasn't his possessiveness, it was just that it would break the life he was so used to. He was used to her always being around and then one day when she dropped the bomb he couldn't handle it. He acted childishly, now he knew, but he had always got what he wanted. There were some perks of being a single child of rich parents and he had them all. Her absolute refusal to do as he said had stung him just as much as the first proper rejection hurts, and he had not taken it very lightly. His ego stopped him from keeping any contact with her even when he dreamt about her every single night. He never discussed those or anything related to Tani with Sharon, because he was too egoistic and later too ashamed of himself.
"Somewhere, though, I think you were right in pushing me away," Tani said, frowning to herself, and Rey's stomach sank, "I had become way too dependent on you. At first, when I went to Delhi, I couldn't bear not talking to you. I looked at your pictures every night, cried myself to sleep," Tani's emotionless voice was way worse than her open unabashed honesty, like none of it mattered anymore. "But later things got better. I started on focussing on my studies, no more distractions... and I started realising there was more to life than I had ever known. It was breathtaking."
She looked up at him, "What about you? How has it been for you?"
"Same old," he shrugged nonchalantly. He had lost any faith in love, his dance career was in shambles, he was about to join his father's company simply because there was no aim to his life and he was about to marry the girl he couldn't think about beyond platonically. But then that wasn't something to complain about, many people had it much worse than him and no matter how much Rey disliked his position in life, he still appreciated it.
"Good to hear that," she replied, smiling, all gentle smile, the one he remembered so well, "Bhai told me you are joining your dad's company?"
"Yup."
"Why?" she asked much to Rey's surprise.
"What? Umm... just. I mean that is all I know so..."
"What about dancing?"
"What about it," he stated in a flat voice, trying to make it abundantly clear that no, he didn't want to talk about that. But Tani didn't catch the hint.
"You were so passionate about that. Did it not work out?" she asked.
"Many things don't work Tani," he snapped, "like you and I. same case with dance. Anyway, there's too much competition and I am nowhere in the race because I am not that good and because I can't afford that much time and energy."
"Just asking Rey, I was just asking," Tani immediately replied, alarmed by Rey's outburst. Rey closed his eyes and took a deep breath in... and out, "I am sorry," he said, "just a bit sore about it. Nothing else."
Tani smiled at him, understanding, never judging, "Let's talk about how the food is way too overpriced."
Rey chuckled breathily, "yeah, let's do that."
***
"Hey," Sharon chimed through the mouthpiece of her cell phone.
"Hi, what happened?" she heard Swayam reply from the other side. The incredible softness in his voice always made her smile.
"Your sister's out on a date and so is my best friend so figured I would give you some company," she replied.
"Sharon, she's out on a dinner," he said stiffly, "and that's with your fiance."
That made Sharon sober up. Right, it meant nothing to her but to Swayam, it probably meant a lot... especially since his sister was involved.
"Sorry," she responded quietly.
"Sharon I really don't think it was a good idea. Why did you have to do this?"
Honestly, she had called for some light hearted conversation, not this. Not where she would have to justify the dynamics of Rey and her relationship.
"Rey needed the closure. If he had to move on, he had to do this," she replied through gritted teeth.
"Four years of not sharing a single word didn't give him enough time to move on?" Swayam argued.
"I don't know why I called you. I am sorry," Sharon snapped, pressing on the end button on the screen. Right now she felt like throwing the cell phone right of the window. Who was he for judging her best friend? She couldn't believe the ever sweet and understanding Swayam was so... so... so annoying that...
Her phone blew up again and she raised it to see Swayam calling'. For a second she hesitated whether she should just swipe it close or let it ring...
But then she sighed and picked it up, "What?" she snapped into the phone.
"Okay," Swayam shot back. "I am sorry."
"You should be," Sharon snapped back.
"Hey, she's my sister, I worry about her. Cut me some slack?"
"What's there to worry? She is an adult with a brain of her own. She agreed to meet Rey and no one forced her into this. So what's your issue?" she argued.
"Look, I haven't forgotten how upset she was when they had broken up. I just don't want her to be hurt again," he explained.
"It's my best friend you're talking about; what makes you think he'll hurt her? Yes I know the last time it was his mistake," she cut him as soon as she heard a disgruntled voice on the other side, "but that doesn't mean he'll do that again. He has grown up... and they are not even together anymore."
"Swayam," she heard a female voice somewhere in the distance, "what's taking you so long, love?"
Love! Sharon felt a sinking sensation. Swayam was with a girl.
"Oh," she said, her voice losing all expression, "I see you're busy."
"I... I am just out with my friends... nothing much really," he ranted, "just a weekend thing."
"Yeah, I understand," Sharon replied too fast, almost fumbling over the words in her effort to sound unaffected. "I am sorry for taking up your time."
"No, of course not, Sharon, I..."
"Swayam, you're missing all the fun," the same voice called again.
"No no, go," Sharon said, unable to stop herself from feeling small and unwanted, "I won't hold you back."
She heard Swayam sigh. "I'll call you later, okay?" he said.
"Yeah," she replied briefly before pressing end faster than ever.
So basically Sharon Raiprakash was the only one alone on a Friday evening, sitting at home. She was inching so close to the stereotype of a spinster with seven cats and watching TV on weekends.
Well, might as well. She called in pizza and started streaming some good movie online. While drifting to sleep, her last thoughts were that of getting her social life back on track.
***
"This was nice," Rey commented as he followed Tani to her car. "We should do this again."
"Yes, that would be nice," she said, both of them knowing full well this wasn't happening again. They had had a nice time together, but both of them knew better than pushing things further.
Tani opened the locks on her... actually Swayam's... car and Rey marched forward and opened the driver's door for her. Tani smiled back at him and pulled the door further and stood between the gap of the car and its door, staring at Rey.
"Actually," she hesitated before answering, tucking a loose strand behind her ear, absentmindedly. "Actually, I am not going to be in Mumbai for a while. The thing is me, Bhai and some of our friends are going to Ladakh; and after that I'll go back to Delhi."
"Ladakh!" Rey exclaimed, surprised.
"Yeah, actually it's been so long we haven't met so we just kind of decided on the spot, got tickets booked and all," she explained, her voice getting slightly high pitched and the words rushing out of her mouth, the way it used to back in college. It happened a couple of times while they were chatting in the restaurant and Rey felt good that she hadn't changed all that much. Somewhere inside, she was still the bubbly, vivacious girl he had loved.
"That's nice," he replied, "When's the flight?"
"On Sunday," she replied.
"Oh, okay. Have fun," he said, before stepping back with his hands folded behind his back.
"Yeah," she answered softly, her eyes roaming all over his face, making Rey feel a little hot around the ears.
"All the best for the future," she said.
"Thanks I-" he was cut by the feel of Tani soft lips press against his cheek, and the warmth of her hand cupping his other cheek. He closed his eyes and for that moment, it felt like the past four years had never happened.
But when she moved back, the moment ended along with it and he watched her retreat, close the door, and with one last look, draw out of the parking spot and out of the parking area. He kept staring at the space where he saw her car disappear.
The more he stood there, the more he realised. Reality slapped him in the face that he was not yet over her. He hadn't moved on.
In a moment of sheer instinct, he called up Sharon. It took her a dozen rings before her groggy voice sounded in the earpiece.
"Sharon? How do you feel about going to Ladakh the day after tomorrow?"
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