|| SwaRon FF : I Hate To Love You || NEW THREAD LINK IN THE INDEX - Page 98

Thank you. Means alot.

32.

Sharon was frantic, face covering in sweat, eyes wide as soccer, loose hair strands falling on cheeks and sticking to her face as a second skin. She looked like a mess and anyone could say that she just woke up from a horrifying nightmare. I stood at the wide opened door, frozen. I was in the middle of the-trying-to-sleep-mission when I heard an ear-piercing scream from Sharon's room. Discarding my bed and my not so futile mission, I ran towards her room to freeze at the door ice cold as soon as I pushed the door open.

"Sharon," I breathed out her name. Despite knowing that how weak my voice came out, I had expected that she would look at the door but she did not. She sat there preoccupied with whatever happened in her nightmare. I strode towards her bed in less than four steps. As I sat on her bed, she exhaled. Albeit sensing my presence she barely moved. Her eyes strained on the cotton white blanket pooled around her limp body. It was getting scary as the silent minutes passed. I wanted to hold her until she feels safe, I wanted to comfort her but something foreign stopped me. Something told me that she prefers the silence and the solitude.

When I touched her hand, which gripped her knees, she jumped. By her look, I knew she didn't expect me there. Didn't she know that I was here? "Are you okay?" I quietly asked, the silence that prevailed inside her room was suffocating, I was itched to break it but my voice came out hoarse as if someone got hold of my throat. As her eyes held mine in hostage, I was flummoxed. I have never seen the pair looking so raw. It was reflecting her inner self. Sharon exposed herself to me, but I didn't ponder on whether it was intentional or not. As they stared at my own orbs, the veil of my heart flew away. They hauled my inside, sucking every nerve-wracking emotion out. I could feel my eyes betraying my feelings as they started to get wet. A vulnerable moment, we needed each other but refrained to ask.

Apparently, for one minute we sat there staring at each other's eyes. I didn't need any words to hear her turmoil. I was expecting this outburst, but totally in a different way. It was a drizzle but I foresaw a hurricane. Maybe it was the calmness before the storm. I didn't notice that she had started letting the drops out until those fell on my palm. As the hell broke, more tears poured out of her eyes, leaking through her cheeks, falling on the backside of my palm, which was resting on her knees. Grabbing her by shoulders, I launched her body at mine. As I pressed her trembling body close to my chest, she froze. Her hands dropped limb to my sides, skeptical to touch me. Her action befogged me, dread filling inside. Why would she restrict herself from a mere comforting hug when we have traveled a long way through our twisted relationship?

It felt as if, my tight embrace did nothing to her trembling body. I could hear the rapid, strong, distinct beating of her heart and mine just followed her action. Our hearts beat together, close to each other. I felt surreal when her fingers clutched the back of my grey t-shirt, pinning her to me. We were getting used to each other's touch but it still felt alien to have her close. The fear of losing her intensifies as we come closer. I have been accustomed to all emotions just only through her but I never feared to lose her. At this point in my life, I fear to lose Sharon. I knew that was a huge realization. Sharon was not bawling but I knew she was crying, silently. The front of my t-shirt drenched in her tears but that was my last priority. If it had happened a year ago, I would have yelled at her for damaging my clothes. I would have never comforted her in the first place.

"What happened, Sharon?"

Her sobs subsided to small sniffing here and there. We have been sitting there for a couple of minutes, slowly yet steadily I detached her from me. Though at first, she denied, she let me put some space between us. "What was it about?"

She opened her mouth for the first time since I sat beside her but nothing; no words came out but just air. Despite the mood of the atmosphere, a smile formed on my lips and it went unnoticed by her. Clearing her throat, she tried again. Even though we have pulled away from the hug we didn't leave each other completely, my arms were around her waist and she was clutching my t-shirt, tightly as possible, as if she slackens the grip I would disappear.

"Water,"

Her voice was as strained as mine was. If it were not for her looking at the bottle of water on her side table, I would have thought her nightmare was about water.

Never have I really thought, holding her for a good amount of time would send my brain on haywire.

Leaning slightly, still keeping an arm around her, I grabbed the bottle without creating much mess. I literally bend over my half to get that and she snatched the bottle from me a bit harshly before gulping down half of its content at one stretch.

After finishing the bottle, she glanced up at me. Her shivering has subsided; her cheeks were damp, locks of her black hair still stuck to her forehead and cheeks. She still was beautiful. How broken and terribly scared she looked, she was still beautiful for my eyes. "Now tell me what happened?" I asked, wiping the tear from her face using the pad of my thumb and then removing the loose strands of her hair, I tucked them behind her ear and cleared her face. Small sweat drops lingered on her forehead but I just could not wipe them off her face. Those looked serene on her skin. Those shined under the blue light of her room. Am I insane to think that?

"It was so brutal," Sharon whispered, curling her fingers over my t-shirt and I abruptly returned to reality, the reality of Sharon sitting vulnerably in front of me. I know better than to interrupt her so I stayed quiet letting her speak. Inhaling deeply she continued and I let my palms ran over her arms slightly, encouraging her to talk. "It was so brutal Swayam. It was so horrible," When I did not reply, she drifted her eyes from my face to where her fingers rested, over my ribs. As if she understood my silence, she picked up from where she left, "A girl, maybe she was five or six was sitting inside a dark room, and she was curled up in a fetus position. She looked so scared as if she was scared to move even a muscle. You know, Swayam, the room was pitch-dark, only her breathing sound could be heard. She was hiccupping continuously." By the time she looked at me again and when saw my keenly-interested-in-whatever-she-speaking face she let her face adorn a small smile, but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. She avoided my eyes again and concentrated on my clothes, she continued. "After some time, she heard a sound, something near to, boots pressing on the floor kind of sound and she knew someone was coming to get her. She cried more, calling for help but none was there. Sitting up on the cold floor, she waited for the door to open and reveal the person. Shuddering at the sight of a man looking at her maniacally, she retreated to the farthest corner of the room. He was too drunk to stand up properly. Then, he smiled wickedly at her before walking towards her, I begged him to not to hurt her, Swayam but he did not hear me. He continued to move towards her and then with a fast movement of his hands he removed his belt." She stopped, breathing hard. I knew it was difficult for her to revisit the moments that horrified her a few minutes ago, and it had the same effect on her. Before I could make her stop, she resumed to talk again, keeping an eye contact, but this time I was taken aback by the intensity of them. When she uttered the next words, I did not know what to do but just to hug her. "He beat me Swayam, he abused me." Moreover, I did. I did not think twice before pulling her body to mine and embracing her fragile shivering body. Though my action surprised her, she did not try to pull out of it. She let me hold her and fell asleep on me eventually, but I certainly heard the last bit of her nightmare, "He was him,"

____________________

The next morning I woke up feeling hardly rested. My back felt like someone bend it into half and I had a sprained leg with a twisted hand. Though I felt like to lie on the bed and sleep for next two days I know I had better thing to do. Groaning I turned to my back, laying firmly on it. As I stared at the white ceiling, a couple of thoughts evaded my mind. I was back to the night just passed, Sharon and her nightmare. Whatever she told me did not surprise me; somewhere I was anticipating something like that. He has effects on her more than I want to admit. Those horrifying incidents were just a chunk of her past, I know how Gautham had treated her when she was a child, how he had abused her, and I even know how he had used her for his own needs. There was not even a part of me that did not want to hit him until he coughs blood and dies.

That day was atrocious. I had never before seen that grim looked man until he decided to walk through the door of my cabin. His aura was salient, that kind of which could crawl you to him. He even walked with calculations. His cunning way of speaking and the arrogant way of smirking was beyond my curiosity. He had kept me hooked under his spell until a woman walked in; catching me off guard, a very sophisticated one but her elegance contradicted her inner self. I did need a double check to know who that was. Though I did not recognize the man, I did the woman after a bit of scrutinizing. She was my stepmother, the person I grew to abhor. They did not waste much time, they came with motives and they almost gained what they wanted but at the end of the unexpected visit, I had gone insane with the number of truths emptied over me. He was the same man I got the privilege to bump into yesterday at the restaurant.

How would I tell Sharon that, we all were some toys of their hands?

We were victims of our guardians' actions. If I had done things to make her past insufferable then she had done the same, where my actions were willful but her was not. Sharon and I had been connected through every possible way that I could not blame her for what she caused me because I had done enough damage to her too. We matched, erroneously matched.

I was so deeply in my thoughts that I did not notice the person trotted towards me. "Good morning, Bhai," I snapped my head towards my sister, who was smiling at me in an unusual way. I slowly sat up and supported my weight on the headboard. Her smile was vexatious and the same thing irked me. I very well knew what that particular smile meant. It simply did mean that she knows something I do not know.

"What's with your that creepy smile?"

As I said something so great, she jumped to my bed with the same creepy smile, with a little more width and sat cross-legged beside my lower half. We used to be so close to each other, like that Tom and Jerry kind of relation. I loved her a lot more than I would ever admit. She was that only person who showed me that the world is not that cruel; there are people who care about others. However, for a few months our bond had strained, it had suffered. After her engagement we rarely talked and I had noticed the change in her behavior around me since Sharon came back. We were working on our bond again and I could see how much Taani was trying.

"Bhai, I saw you," She beamed at me as if she just cracked an algebra problem and I tell you, she loathes math.

"So, you see me every day," My confused voice made her giddy, I could feel her getting excited, with that smile and that rubbing palms together. She was even jumping slightly as if she cannot stay in one place; excitement perks. There and then, I knew it was more than just algebra.

"I saw you with," She stopped for an effect and that was working on me just in its right way, with an arrogant smirk. I knew what was coming so I prepared myself but what I did not expect was the way she addressed Sharon, "Bhabi,"

If I were drinking water I would have chocked on it, or I would have spat it out, directly over my crazy sister. She caught me off guard. Taani used to call Sharon that but at that time we were married and Sharon was her Bhabi but now it is a different scenario but still the feeling is surreal. I felt a kind of unknown feeling ran through my whole body.

"Bhai, what happened?" Taani asked me, bringing me back from my shock. She was watching me under her hooded eyes with curiosity. Little did she know what her sudden endearment did to me?

"Nothing, you...I just...Never mind." I mentally slapped me for stuttering, sitting up straight I concentrated on the girl in front of me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, you know I saw you with Bhabi,"

God stop calling her that.

"Bhai I am so happy for you," She suddenly blurted out. "And I am so sorry for being a worse person but you have to understand I was hurt. You should not have done what you did; you knew that was wrong still you used her. I know Bhai, you care for her, but what you did was worst and I could not accept that. Sharon was my best friend for god sake. I did not want to choose one of you but you know even if I had to I would have always chosen her because you were utterly wrong." She spoke without a break and I was breathing hard just looking at how effortlessly she was letting out her emotions. She has always been a straightforward person. She looked at me with her wide brown eyes, expectedly. I have a feeling that it has to do something with what happened in Sharon's room.

"You still choose her," I complained while joining her in the middle of the bed, sitting cross-legged, facing her. "But I'm forgiving you for that," I added smiling warmly at her. I have missed my baby sister. I watching how her lips curled up into a smile but before it would stretch her face she wiped it off and glared at me.

"How? I supported her but I neither chose you nor her. If I had picked her, you would never have got this chance. I would never have allowed her to forgive you this easily if it was in my control." The deathly glare marred her face, hiding all excitements that a little while ago were there. I wish I could tell her the truth that Sharon has not forgiven me yet.

"Huh, I'm your brother; but you are treating me with glares."

"Who told you that you are not?"

As those words slipped out of her mouth, my breath stuck in my throat. I could feel the blood pumping in my head, making me dizzy. Although she was kidding those words stung, it hit you right at the heart.

I know that I am not.

I was a stepbrother and that was a reality. If I could I would have changed it the moment I came to know she was not my real sister. Both were different, both held a different kind of emotions. Maybe it was that four letters that made it different 'step' but it held many emotions than it would ever want to speak. A bother can never be a stepbrother and vice versa. I wish she would never find out that.

"Bhai, you love her, right?"

"What?"

My god, this girl, and her blunt talks,

As of how a person I am, these kinds of talks are beyond my imagination. I love Taani but we were the fighting siblings. Since childhood, we both were always ready to eat others head nevertheless, I was there for her, and she was there for me. We grew up alone in a big house without the guidance of our parents but I always made sure to be there for her, for being that person in her life, to whom she would always run to when something bothered her and it was same until a point of time. I think Rey took over that place.

"Bhai," She whined, once again sending me to amusement. This girl is crazy, sometimes she is mature like your mother, and sometimes she is crazy like a kid.

"What if I do?" I mumbled audible enough.

"You do," Her voice was low, as she could not believe what she heard.

"I think we established that," I looked at my nightstand to check the time, it was half past seven and completed what I started, "Just now," Her eyes widened, jaw dropped and her ears perked up literally. Her reaction was scaring me. Instantly she stood up and climbed out of the bed, then started to dance around my room like a chimpanzee. She was doing the kind of dance that we do while we party, that victory kind of dance. She even stumbled on few steps but that did not stop her, though what I said did. "I thought you are not happy..." I trailed off while watching her dance. She turned to me and narrowed her eyes incredulously before screaming the words out.

"Are you crazy, what if you do...? I will throw a party for whole Indians, even for the foreign."

Screaming and dancing she sauntered out of my room, leaving me gobsmacked.

What did the heck happen to my sister?

The silence was back to my room. The four white walls held many memories bad and good, as they stared at me all I could see was a particular girl. It was beyond my control to fathom how she could make me fall on my knees in front of her. I did not realize how and when I fell in love with her. My whole body reacted to her in a strange way and to be honest that frightened the shit out of me.

Since the sincere talk I had with Sharon inside my car, I feel buoyant. How she understood my feeling gave me a hope that she would survive whatever was coming in our way. Life was changing drastically for me and I feel like, before I get time to take precautions everything will fall down.

"Swayam," I heard the soft voice of my girl. When I turned to the door, Sharon was standing there nervously. Her demeanor confused me to an extent. The girl stood beside me was the old one, the submissive Sharon but her eyes burned in the fire, "I need to talk to you," Determined, her voice sounded determined.

Gulping down my apprehension, I stood up. I was in my night clothes, the same grey t-shirt, and sweatpants. Sharon was in her just came out of the shower look. She looked so ethereal that I wanted to ravish her there at that moment.

How did I never notice this girl before? I am an imbecile.

Is it bad to avoid a topic that would possibly make or break everything? So yeah, I am going to avoid just for a day.

"Can it wait?" I took hesitant steps to reach near her. She smelt the freshly brewed coffee. Damn.

Sometimes our relation bothered me, we were changing and our situation was changing regularly and it made impossible for me to find where we stood. At one moment, Sharon was feisty- the type that never going to forgive me, then another moment she was the old submissive Sharon- crying on my shoulder and then there was another, the vulnerable one- trepidatious to face her truths. I love all of her versions but I dislike the last. I wanted her to be strong. The unbalanced Sharon was a threat to our relationship because I know how unstable she gets and how that was going to reflect on us. I was getting courteous in our relationship.

"Till when?" Sharon asked me,

"A day," My reply fast without any second thoughts, as I planned, I wanted to spend a day with her, just she and I. I wanted show her how much I changed and how much she means to me, and then I want to show her how much I love her. "Just at least a day I want us to be free from all inhibitions. I know you have a lot in your head now, but for us please give it a break... I promise you will never forget this day even if you try to." I finished my rant with a wink.

"Okay," She rolled her eyes at me as if it was impossible for me to make a day memorable for her.

Challenge accepted, just wait and see...

I do not know what came over me, maybe it was the way she looked, maybe it was her flushed face but I could not stop myself from planting a kiss on her cheek. Without waiting for a reaction, I ran to my bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Why am I behaving like a teenager?

I am whipped. Perhaps I have been in love with her for almost two decades

Please read the note below, it's important.

The update started off on an unexpected note...I was wondering what happened to Sharon all of a sudden! 😲 Ofcourse the part ahead explained quite a bit. She's had a rough past is what I had deduced, but physical abuse? Ouch! That hurt bad!

Another thing that really got me was that Swayam kept saying they have been a part of each other's life for longer than they know. Seems like some really twisted past awaiting to be unfolded. Waiting!

The way the air thickens around them in each other's presence is quite explicable given the complex relation they share. But it feels endearing nevertheless. I understand Sharon's discomfort and hesitancy to get close to Swayam but it kind of hurts now to see him suppress his pain and longing when she does that. But she did hug him! 😛😛 They are beginning to feel the assurance, she's beginning to trust him again, maybe fall for him again too but at the moment seems like she's too preoccupied with figuring her own story of existence. Probably Swayam would have to wait (or maybe not! I'm so excited for the next part!!!!!! )

Taani and Swayam reklinding their bond to an extent gives a promise of the dawn.. When things will turn in favor for him now.(I hope) The hitting part of the conversation was obviously him admitting his love for Sharon without a wee bit of hesitance! How I wish Sharon's the one to feel it and know it from him! Irrespective of how she reacts I'm sure it would be one of the most overwhelming moment for them, perhaps even liberating.

So Swayam is going to plan something for his ladylove! I kind of having a feeling it's the calmness before a storm, nevertheless there's never a perfect time to express your love. The instance you feel the feeling surging up your veins, you must just say it aloud.. Probably it's time Swayam realized he doesn't want to hold it back or the need to make her feel loved to face the storm is overpowering right now. I don't know, but I'm really looking forward to some exchange of pure, ardent love!

About updating here, it's your choice. I don't use Wattpad often but if you decide to update there I'll try to be more frequent on Wattpad as well.

As usual, very intriguing update.. I haven't spoken much on the nightmare because I'm confused and trying to join the dots myself :P

Love,

Shreya

continue soonish😊

TaYam bonding is superb...

Loved it

Kar diya diduu sorry for the delay❤️

Beautiful chapter

Its amazing finally some beautiful swaron moments

Growing close emotionally

And the way that is written by you is amazing

Pls post the next chap soon

Its growing so good and interesting and impatient go read further

Pls post here na di

Its ok even if u can't pm