A very huge thank u to one and all who are supporting this work!!
I'm trying my best to make u all feel the pain they are experiencing...infact I'm thinking too much😛 on some parts...I donno how far u guys are receiving it...Thanks for wonderful support...
Go on, ignore typo's
Ostracised healer
Chapter 4
Aliya
I reached my hands to touch mom's lips... they are turned to blue..bruised, marks of bloods are spread across ruptured parts...they are swollen...
I remember how beautiful her lips were...they were pink...and now they are ugly blue...
I remeber the way she use to peck me affectionately...the way she use to scold me... the way she curls her lips when she was angry, when she was happy...
I want her to kiss me again...hug me once...one last time atleast...
I bent my head the way my forehead touches her's...I held her head...she is cold...she is cold...my warm mom is now cold... it can no longer offers me warmth...A huge sob escaped my chest...I kissed on her cheek forehead...
I dnt want to look at my dad at all...Osman...he is not just my father he is my hero...he is lying right beside me but I dnt dare to gaze at my dad...
I don't dare doesn't mean, I'm scared...I dnt want to register him with an opened brain!! Tissues of brain was on road, I will not be able to forget that throughout my life...and I dnt wish that...I want to cherish him as my hero...
He is the safest driver I have ever seen...what went wrong!! Where went wrong?! He will never let this happen with us...
How this disaster took place... ??
How!!! How!!! How!! Why it happened!! Why it happened with our family...!!!
Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?!
"ALIYA" I heard some one shouting...Wait I recognise his voice...it's zain...
" Aliya" he called me again..im feeling someone's grip on my shoulder...they are vigorously Shaking me...
I jerked open my eyes...gasping for air...I see his face right on top of mine with decent distance...his brows are furrowed...his face is wearing a concerned look...
"You were screaming!! " he said in a hoarsed tone...
I tried to free myself still looking into his brown eyes...his grip loosened ...
"Why we're u screaming?? Was that a nightmare? Were u scared..??" he asked me...
I closed my eyes reminiscing what I'm seeing from day one I'm conscious...
Nightmare!! Is that a nightmare...?? how can it be..? Can my parents be my nightmare??
We might get nightmares about parents, for parents ... but parents can never be nightmares...
" No " I said subtly...
" then why were you scared?? " he asked again...sitting beside me...
Scared...No I'm not scared!! I'm not scared, they can never scare me...no parent would wish their kids to be scared...especially Scared of them...
" I'm not scared of my parents..." I whispered gasping for air... and I continued...
" their dead bodies, mom's ruptured blue lips, teddy's pooled blood and..." I paused...
I'm struggling to say it...he held me...Feeling my struggle...
"And Dad's Opened brain... Cannot scare me ...nothing about them can scare me..." I completed bursting into tears...
He hugged me... I didn't move...
"So u were crying.." he said in a broken voice , patting my back...calmly trying to me...Assure me...
Assuring me of what?? What do I have to get assured!!
But I appreciate his attempt...I really don't think I can be this nice to a stranger... I dnt need to suspect his care...he hardly speaks...he dnt try to take advantage of situation but he will be beside me...when ever I need someone...
" You will be fine!! U will override grief..." he said moving back...
"Is that even possible...?? Will I be able to do that?? I feel I can't..."
I questioned him mumbling I can't! I can't! I can't! I cant! He placed his hand on my shoulder blade, I gazed up to see him...
"Trust me...you Can..". He reassured me...this time his tone is deep...
" No I can't, I already miss them! I ll miss them everyday...I ll miss them in every occasion of my life..." he is silent...
Yes! I ll miss them...
I will miss Mom's coffee!
I will miss Dad's Goodbye before he leaves to office!
I will miss mom sewing me new sweater every winter!
I will miss Dad offering me car ride when I'm upset!
I will miss festivals with them!
I will miss helping teddy in his homework!
I will miss watching cartoon with teddy!
I will miss scolding mom for watching a stupid serial!
I will miss our family meal we have daily and teddy's pouted face expressing his hatred for capsicum!!
Its Aching... there is no heal... there can be no heal for my hearts ache...the one who can sooth me didn't heed to check on me even once... I should be crying in his arms ...but I'm here in some strangers home...crying in his arms seeking sooth
"U will not know..." I trailed off... adjusting myself to create distance...
Suddenly My head is throbbing...I could barely see... I focused my eyes to see...glanced at him, it's little blurry...his eyes are closed, he is looking restless...his eyes balls are rolling frantically behind shudded lids...
I dropped my head into my plams fisting hair on head with both palms tightly...
I heard him saying " I know...I have gone through it..." then he paused...in middle...
What does he mean by I know...what he has gone through ..?? I feel nerves in my head bulging...they might explode from my head any minute...
"ALIYA" he said loudly...itseems he saw me...he tried to free my head from hold of my fists...
"are u okay??, u r feeling headache..??" he questioned me... raising up...
I nodded my head breathing sharply...heavily...
I donno why I'm taking heavy breaths... gulping huge air...
It's human tendency we gulp heavy breaths when we are hurt, when we are in pain, when are lost alone in darkness or when we are scared ...As if excess oxygen which we intake can rectify the whatever wrong going with us...
It's just merely begging oxygen to save us...none notices it!!
Now I realise though I'm willing to die, though I'm waiting for death...
I'm taking heavy breaths, begging it to ebb , pain throbbing my head, pain that can take me to death...
I dnt wish to be alive but I'm scared to die... !!
I'm scared of death!! I'm scared of death!!
I can feel Zain holding me tightly...comforting me...
"I'm scared to live!! I'm scared to die!! I'm scared to live!! I'm scared to die!!" I yelled repeatedly...holding his arms...
He made me lie on bed...I hear him pulling side draw...I glanced at him, he is going through prescription worriedly... he striped out tablet and demanded me to have...
He dnt need to demand!! I need it!! I need it!!
I gulped medicine and water, Sank my head into pillow...
He sat right beside me...I held his wrist...
" I'm scared to live! I'm scared to die! This is hell...I'm unable to conclude..." I whispered...he is clearing hair from my face and brushing it with his fingers to order it...
"I'm unable to conclude Zain!!" I whispered again , his warm fingers are ruffling hair on my forhead, stroking gently occassionally...my mom does that for me when I am sick... I slipped into sleep feeling ensuring his presence...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zain
" I'm Scared to live!! I'm scared to die!! " her words are reverbating in my ears...
I know ,it really is hell...as I'm staying in living hell since I'm 11...
Those memories are hard to forget... and more harder to Remaind...
If I try to forget I'm feeling shallow, lifeless...if I try to revive them they are chopping me into pieces...
"I'm unable to conclude Zain" those words sounded pathetic, she was begging me to help...to find some way to cross agony, hell...where I myself is terribly struck!!
She is looking fragile...she is breathing subtly, I moved to tugg her in sheets...then at that moment I realised she is still holding my wrist...fear surged through out me...
Her hold on my wrist!! Her hold on wrist!!
I realised weapon that can break steel walls protecting me is taking its shape...
Thought frightened me... she held it to feel secured..!!
But sadly she is not secured with me..
I tried to free my hand desparately...but she stirred in sleep feeling slightest disturbance I created...
I don't want to disturb her sleep...she badly needs it... she is not feeling well... I hesitantly, helplessly settled back beside her...Damming fears flooding out of me...
How was it?? I would like hear feedback!! U know it's real hard for me to side my nutty witty brain😆...I'm trying my best save this work from my nutty brain... so it's hard na?? Let me know it's hard or not?? Ll be waiting for comments... and don't forget to hit like button.. bye bye!!
Edited by madhufx9... - 9 years ago
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