Save My Soul Tonight
"How we need another soul to cling to, another body to
keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this,
I need someone to pour myself into."
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
"Afterward
she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly,
memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want
to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my
skin."
Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants
He watches as she gasps for air, her breathing a sharp
staccato and an inadvertent smile makes its way onto his lips.
His hand travels along the length of her body to cup her
face and to his delight, he finds her hand, small and light closing over his as
she uses it to bring his palm to her mouth. Her lips bestowing little kisses on
his calloused digits, his palm as they finally kiss the sensitive area of his
wrist making him shiver.
Unable to hold back himself any longer, he slowly moves up
and over her body, enchanted with the way she trembles beneath him, the way her
skin is soft and dewy, her hair fanned across the pillow, her cheeks flushed
and her breathing still ragged. He takes pride in it, for being the one
responsible for this, for being the one who could push her over the edge,
pleasure her to the hilt of ecstasy.
As their eyes meet, it occurs to him he has never felt this
raw, this primal ever.
The way Ishita looks tenderly at him, a small smile on her
lips and those big trusting eyes something breaks in his heart, because he
knows this would change, change so soon come morning and for that reason alone,
to push away the bone-crushing loneliness that he knows is lurking in the
shadows to envelope him, he kisses her.
He wanted to love her once before perhaps facing a lifetime
of hatred from her. He needed to feel she loves him in case she too decides to
leave him, and if this is all that he can have of her; he wanted to be selfish
enough to take it without apologies or regrets.
He wanted to have this experience at least once, of making
love to a woman he loved, who loved him back just as much. To know how it feels
to have someone who loves you in your arms, loving you, responding to you when
you loved her. For once in his life, he had to have a woman in his bed not out
of obligation, but by choice and nothing else, be with him because she wanted
to be there, because she wanted to give herself over to him, share herself with
him and in return have him all to herself.
He needed to have something to hold onto before his world
crashed, before she hates him and perhaps leaves him and if this one night is
all that can be theirs, he does not care - he wants it, he wants her.
He knows he is being selfish, a monster perhaps, but he
cannot help himself.
He needs her, he has to have her or he would lose his mind
before the end of the night.
His mouth hot and hard demands she give him everything and
she does, to his great relief, she does. Her mouth answers to his with a
passion of her own, as their tongues dance in tandem to the rhythm of their
heartbeats. Their hands never steady, not for a moment even as their mouths
continue to battle for dominance. Hers travel all over his back, clawing him
sometimes, scrapping the skin with her nails even as he feels her fingers in
his hair, soothing him and provoking him at the same time. The way she loves
him with such abandon, such ardor makes him want to freeze time, so that he
could trap them in this moment forever. And since that isn't an option
available to him, he resorts to the next best thing - he touches her, all of
her, running his hands along her curves, through her hair, over her face, just
about everywhere he can touch her.
An eternity of making love to her would not be enough; he
knows it in his bones. Nothing has felt this right, this perfect ever, nothing
ever would.
Gasping for air, he breaks their kiss and looks at her but finds
it he cannot face her for long and so buries his head in the crook of her neck.
But as her arms band around him, in an embrace so full of love and
possessiveness, he finds he loathes himself with everything he' got.
The intensity of the hatred he feels for himself rivals with
the love he feels for her.
Raising himself above her, balancing his weight on his elbows,
he presses a kiss to her forehead as he whispers,
"Go to sleep now, we have an early morning."
Her face crunches as she looks at him in confusion,
"What?" He cannot help
but ask.
"But Raman..."
She manages to reply at last,
"What?"
"What about you?" She questions him in a soft voice, her
eyes looking at him curiously.
He knows what she means and it kills him. With those words,
his heart breaks yet again.
Here he is about to betray this woman after this night of
loving and can't even bring himself to admit to it and watching her be so
concerned about him, about his pleasure, his release does something to him that
he can't put into words.
Resting his forehead against hers, he closes his eyes. Oh,
this wonderful, wonderful woman he thinks to himself, how he ever got so
fortunate to find her.
His heart thunders in his chest and he wants to weep, weep
loudly holding onto her. She cares so much for him, for the hundredth time he
asks himself, to the gods above, why, why could not they have had it different.
Why couldn't she have been the only woman in his life? Only if she had been the
mother of his children, the one he had spilled his seed into and watched, loved
as her body slowly, gradually grew large to accommodate their children.
However, thinking any of that is of no use and he knows
that.
He also knows he cannot open up, he cannot tell her anything
yet.
He cannot take away this time, this night from her before he
ruins everything for them.
She' happy and that is what he wants the most in this world,
to see her happy; and knows come tomorrow he would be the reason for her
sorrow, for her lost smiles. Perhaps that is what pushed him to the edge
tonight when he approached her, he needed her and he knows that. He needed her
so badly he ached for her, but he also needed to quiet his demons for a while.
But most importantly, he wanted to do something to make her
happy before he crushes her world and destroys them and so he had came behind
her and spoken up how he wants her, how he can't do without her any longer,
stay away from her anymore.
He could think of nothing else short of himself to give to
her in that moment. Knowing she has
wanted them as much as he has, knowing this one act is all there is that is
keeping them apart. Knowing he is about to rip out her very heart as soon as
this night ends. He is aware he cannot replace Ruhi in her heart or life, but
he wants her to have something, anything of himself; just so that she knows he
loves her despite what he is about to do to her and so he wanted to give
himself up to her.
It comes back to him in a heartbeat, how they find
themselves here, in this moment.
He had mustered his
courage, taken her in his arms and brought her to their bed.
Nuzzling into her, he
felt constricted by his coat, so drawing back from her, he discarded it,
throwing it casually behind him, unconcerned where it landed to return to her,
taking in the smell of her, placing small kisses against her ear to hear her
sigh.
Slowly, softly his
lips traveled from her ear to the edge of her jaw showering her with kisses,
delighting in the way her soft hands touched him, as she placed one against his
heart and the other around him. He kissed those eyes, so full of love for him
and found his lips descending upon the apple of her cheeks.
His heart skipped a
beat when at last he placed a kiss against the corner of her mouth and to his
delight, felt her grip on him tighten as she sucked in a sharp breath.
In what seemed like an
eternity to him, she finally opened her eyes to look at him and he knew, knew
this moment would forever sear itself into his memory, in his heart, branded
across his very soul.
Hence, he poured
himself, his heart and all those unspoken feelings into the kiss he placed next
on her soft lips, claiming them with the love that he felt for her, feeling her
respond to his touches and kisses with so much adoration, so much passion.
As he slowly stretched
along beside her, his legs tangled with the comforter and frustrated he broke
the kiss with a growl confusing her, as he picked up the red colored quilt and
threw it across the bed,
"Sorry, stupid thing
was irritating me."
He was glad somehow
though, for next from the corner of his eye, he saw she was about to turn in
his embrace, and placed a hand on her hip to stop her just in time.
"Don't move Ishita,
your fracture."
That got her attention
and she laughed softly, covering her mouth as she sheepishly spoke,
"Oops, I forgot about
that."
"Yeah, so did I."
The way his body went
rigid, his tone sober changed everything in a fraction of seconds. When his
eyes travelled up to her face, again after he made sure to secure her foot upon
a throw cushion that happened to be nearby, he found her looking sullen.
Immediately he was besides
her asking her worriedly,
"Hey, what happened?"
"I...I am sorry."
"For what, being hurt?
Silly don't be stupid."
To his surprise, she
spoke the words that perplexed him.
"But because of me,
this isn't perfect Raman, as it should have been."
He didn't know what
brought on that thought to her and so he sealed her mouth with his before she
could speak up something foolish again,
"Stop being an idiot,
you are here with me and that's all that matters. To me you are perfect and so
are these moments and every other that we have spent together or will."
Her lips quivered for
a moment and he hushed her gently placing a finger upon them,
"Shh, don't you cry
now, okay, don't do it Ishita."
Yet, a lone tear
slipped from the corner of her eye even as a smile graced upon her lips.
"Do you realize that's
the sweetest thing you have ever said to me?"
"What, you mean about you
not crying? How can it be if you still are doing it?"
That got her to
release a watery chuckle as she shook her head and gently replied cupping his
cheek,
"No, the part about
every moment we share being perfect."
"And my being sweet is
so awful it makes you cry?"
Swatting his arm
playfully, she replied her voice filled with amusement and affection,
"No, silly man, it's
just that it's so rare and you never say these things."
"Your tears don't give
me an incentive to continue in the vein, I hope you do realize that."
"You are just
impossible...do you know that?"
"I will take that as a
compliment."
"Snob..."
She spoke the word and
looked forlornly at her injured leg, making him question her.
"What?"
"I just realized
something else which might be impossible."
"I hate to repeat
myself but...what?"
Rolling her eyes, she
looked at him as if he were so silly,
"My leg Raman, how
will we ... I mean with the cast? If I can't even move ..."
She trailed off,
unable to finish the words, her voice full of guilt and apology. When she
looked at him, her face was so morose, so crestfallen it made his heart ache.
Whatever be the reason, he could never bear to see her like this and so spoke
up in a hushed tone that had her looking at him with wonder,
"Do you want it to be
possible Ishita, tonight, right now?"
"How?"
The word tumbled from
her mouth in a breathless voice and he clearly saw his question took her by
surprise,
"Yes or no, answer
me?"
For the span of a few
heartbeats, she remained silent and he began to wonder, if he should back out
and rescind his offer when he heard her softly say,
"Yes."
The joy that spread
across him on hearing the single word was too great to contain, he had to kiss
her there and then, and so he did.
Once he withdrew
though, she asked him,
"But I still don't
understand Raman, how? I mean...I...I... "
When she hesitated, he
gently stroked her cheek, cupping her face,
"What is it Ishita?"
"I don't want to
disappoint you."
She spoke at last in so small a voice, he is
sure if he weren't so close to her he wouldn't have heard it.
"Didn't I just say we
are perfect?"
"I know Raman, but I
can't move, then how am I supposed to..."
"Supposed to?"
"How am I supposed to
participate? How can it be perfect Raman when this injury is on our minds? "
She spoke annoyed and frustrated, with herself and her injury more than at him.
"Didn't I just ask you
if you want this, so safe to say I have thought of something?"
"That's what I am
asking about now, isn't it?"
"Well, you would have
your answer if you would stop thinking about your leg to begin with and
moreover, thinking that because you are injured I would be disappointed with
you or anything that you can or more specifically cannot do."
"Sorry."
She mumbled looking at
him, with her heart in her eyes; being so adorable, he smiled and placed a
feather light kiss against her forehead.
"Now, let me show you
what I thought, and don't worry you have plenty to do. Trust me."
When her eyes grew
wide, with confusion and a hint of fear, he let out a small chuckle,
"Don't worry; I don't
have any acrobatics in mind."
"Raman."
She sniveled adorably,
making him chuckle even more, it becoming impossible for him to resist her as
he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.
"Relax, you have to
let me do the work and just do one thing."
"What?"
She asked with a
tremble running down her spine as his eyes looked at her as if she were the
only person in this world,
"Enjoy yourself."
When he put it like
that, her heart thundered in her chest and she found it impossible to meet his
eyes, as her blush spread across her cheeks to the tips of her ears, making him
place a tender finger beneath her chin, so that she would have no other option
but to meet his eyes.
"You have to do even
one more thing."
When she didn't ask or
say anything just looked at him, with love, so much love and desire, he
whispered against her lips,
"Won't you ask me what
is it?"
"What is it Raman?"
Though the words left
her mouth, he saw to his delight the way she looked at him as if in a trance,
his trance, making him wonder, does she realize, she has the same effect on him
as well.
Smiling softly at the
thought, he answered her,
"Let me know if you
don't like anything, stop me if something hurts you or something."
"How can I not like
anything, when it's you Raman?"
The words were out
before she could think and when she gathered what she had spoken aloud, a blush
spread across her cheeks as she bit her lip. Soothing the abused tissue with a
kiss, he found himself wondering, just how did he get so lucky as to have her.
"As much as it's good to hear that, I just
want you to know, it's okay to let me know if I am doing something that doesn't
work for you. In fact I would like nothing better, trust me. "
She shakes her head
laughing softly making him wonder whatever could have caused that reaction,
"What?"
"It's nothing."
"Ishita, what is it?"
"Okay, okay, I couldn't
help but think how when we got married you didn't even care what are my likes
and dislikes, clearly not if your first ever gift to me was a toothbrush, an
electronic one at that, and now here we are."
Remembering the gift,
he had to laugh as well, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed.
"Things were different
back then, it didn't matter to me what you liked or not. Now they clearly do,
especially in this case. And don't
forget, even back then it's not like I didn't try to know you better, so you
can't complain about that, remember I learned your likes and dislikes very well
madam, don't you remember last year I bought your favorite alphonso mangoes."
"You are really
bringing up mangoes right now?"
"I am merely pointing
out to you, I paid attention even then, I learned you as I want to do now. I
just want you to feel comfortable enough to let me know if something isn't up
to your liking."
"I will, though now
that you have bought up the mangoes I have to confess, I always wondered how
you learned about that."
"How do you think?" He
asks her with a quirk of an eyebrow.
"You didn't ask
anyone?"
"No, I didn't."
"Then how?"
"What do you think?"
She processed that and
looked confused for a while and when finally she had her answer, he could
pinpoint the moment but when her eyes
looked up at him, they were dancing with so much mirth and humor, it miffed
him.
"Don't you dare laugh,
don't you dare say it Ishita, I swear I might strangle you here and now. I would
regret it later of course but not immediately, and with good reason too."
Genuinely puzzled by
her ever fascinating, complex husband and the ways his mind was sometimes too
bizarre to comprehend, she asked in a strained voice choking back her laughter,
"Don't say what?"
"That it was feminine
of me to overhear you. No husband wants to hear he is feminine, from his wife, especially in their bed."
That did it, the
laughter she had been trying to quell bubbled out of her unapologetically as
she burst into a fit of giggles, at his expense.
It should have angered
him, to have her laugh at him; instead, the sound of her laughing was so
infectious he joined along for a while. However when she wouldn't stop he
pinned her hands beside her head in a moment so spontaneous it surprised her,
it was seconds before she could even register, one of the reasons she had
stopped laughing was also because his mouth had captured hers in a kiss.
When she grew
breathless he pulled away to move back and gently move her injured leg aside.
As one of his hands gently cradled her foot, the other moved the throw pillow a
little further away; once he was satisfied with the results her foot was placed
lovingly upon the little cushion and she found her husband getting off from the
bed, only for him to move aside her other leg.
Prowling, he was on
the bed again, this time in the space between her spread legs and soon she
found him settled above her.
"I told you I would
make it possible. And now you would know there is nothing feminine about me wife."
He spoke softly
against her lips.
"I wasn't thinking
that when I laughed."
She replied in the
earnest making him look at her quizzically.
"Then what made you
laugh?"
"I laughed because I
thought, I should have known it. You must have eavesdropped on one of my
conversations, you always do that."
"I wouldn't call it
eavesdropping; I would just call it paying attention to my wife. Besides it's
not my fault you are loud."
Her jaw dropped as she
gasped audibly, making him chuckle.
"I am not loud!"
"Oh don't worry, I am
not complaining, in fact I am counting on that."
"You are counting on
what?"
"Why, on you being
loud of course. How else will I know what you like when I start now? A husband
doesn't mind if he has to use any means when it comes to keeping up with the
wife' list of do's and don'ts, likes and dislikes but there are something's you
draw a line at. Something's a man must do by himself. There are things a
husband would like to know, to learn, certain things about his wife that he would
not want to share. Certain things he would strive endlessly to perfect."
"Really, is that so?"
She drawled saucily,
looking into his eyes, enjoying this moment far too much to feel shy or
embarrassed or remotely even think of feeling those things.
"Yes."
"And how pray do
husbands do that? Learn certain things about their wives; they wouldn't want to
share with anyone."
She had asked him in
the same tone bewitching him completely.
With a wicked glint in
his eyes, he murmured,
"Simple, they do it by
exploring every inch of their wives of course."
And explore her he
did, starting with her mouth and slowly and steadily moving lower and lower.
His hands and mouth, working in tandem, being so attentive of her as he did
things to her; both wonderful and wicked.
He removed the
barriers between them as he freed her from the constrictive captivity of her clothing
one by one that hindered his loving of her. When she clawed his back, thrashing
as his mouth laved her softness, he obliged by paying its twin with similar
attention. When her hands tried to assault his shirt, as if it were something
she could not stand to have between them, he removed it to let her hands roam
freely over his skin.
He discovered things
about her by exploring her, noting with precision her every reaction, her every
breath storing in his mind the details of every secret spot and every nerve
ending.
He catalogued in his
mind the things that made her laugh, to things that made her sigh; things that
made her moan or with sheer joy give out a loud cry.
At last, he came to
her fiery wetness and kissed her there, noting with a very male pride as she
thrashed or begged him, moaned or sighed when he loved her with his hands and
his mouth, played her with his fingers and soothed and delightfully tormented
her, tasted her with his lips, tongue and teeth.
He continued his
ministrations until at last she cried out his name in a sound so sinfully
hoarse and breathless, he knew without the shot of a doubt, it just became his
most favorite sound in all the world, a sound he wouldn't mind hearing again and
again for the rest of his life. Rather he promised, he would devote himself to
making sure that sound falls upon his ears regularly until the end of his days,
if they make through this storm, which he hoped they do with all his heart.
With her taste still
lingering in his mouth, he had being unable to resist the siren call of watching
her flushed face, her dazed eyes after being loved by him for the first time.
He had to capture that moment forever in his head, his heart, watch her as she
lingered still in the mist of ecstasy he had sent her into in the throes of passion
and hence climbed over her as she reeled from the effects of his loving.
Her soft touch on his face brings him back to reality and he
clears his throat before answering her in a hoarse voice.
"I'll...I'll take care of myself, don't worry."
He is about to move off her when she holds his shoulders,
bringing him to a standstill as he gives her a questioning glance.
"No."
"Huh?"
"Don't go."
"What are you saying Ishita?"
He cannot help but stutter, no; he thinks to himself, she
cannot be serious.
However, one look at her face and he knows she is and for a
moment his mind goes blank. No, no, he has already taken things to far, it has
been a task to come so far but he cannot do what she wants him to, no, he can
hurt her if he is reckless and he knows he will be if he does that.
Just the thought
itself, makes him groan and hide his face against her shoulder. If he buries
himself in her...he would be lost, there' no way he would not lose control, no
way, enveloped in her he won't be able to keep his head.
Shaking his head he speaks against her shoulder, his voice
muffled as he manages to utter what is on his mind,
"Ishita, no, not tonight okay, please. I swear, once you are
healed, we will...we will take that step. You don't know how much I want it but I
can't hurt you and I can't promise to not hurt you. I won't be able to stay
careful if I enter you, please understand me."
"Raman, please..."
"No."
She turns her head and kisses the shell of his ear, her
hands descending lower on his back until they grab hold of his derriere, making
him jerk fractionally. Good lord, if she keeps this up, he would snap. The
thought has him moving away from her but she grabs his shoulders before he can
move out of her reach as she pulls him in over herself again.
"Are you out of your mind? Do you know I can hurt you?"
"I don't care."
"But I do, I...I can't hurt you Ishita."
"You won't."
She protests umbrageous.
"You can't be sure of that because I am not. Ishita, please
try and understand."
"Raman, why can't you understand?"
"No. I won't give in, maybe...maybe I should have waited
longer, I should have known better than to..."
When tears form in her eyes though, he stops and looking at
her he finds heartbreak written all across her face as if he ...he rejected her, oh god.
Tenderly wiping away her tears, he makes her look him in the
eye, no matter what; he cannot let her think he does not want her.
"Ishita, please...look I didn't mean to hurt you with what I
just said. This was not a mistake trust me, don't think anything stupid all
right. I don't regret anything; I just don't want to hurt you."
"If you don't regret this, then why are you walking away
now?"
"God, didn't I make myself clear I could hurt you Ishita.
You already have multiple fractures if I so much as accidentally knock my leg
against your foot you would be in hell, do you realize that, and once I...I, damn
it, just thinking about it."
He broke off hoarsely, before he tersely continued with
closed eyes,
"Once I am inside you I would lose my self-control alright.
And don't you dare try to protest, you don't know how much I want you."
"But I do."
"Ishita..."
He utters her name through clenched teeth, knowing she is
being the irrational one here and so he had better keep his head. Maybe this
was a bad idea, his mind shoots back
at him.
"I do Raman. I know how much you want me."
"Really, tell me how much do I want you then?"
He asks her with a quirk of an eyebrow, unable to resist
himself or her; he is not sure in the moment.
"You want me just as much as I want you."
She whispered softly, caressing his cheek with a stroke of
her thumb as making him take in a sharp breath.
The simple words she uttered are more than he expected and
he knows they are true, absolutely, completely true. The truth of her statement
is visible in her eyes as she looks at him. Her eyes full of so much love and
desire, a reflection of his feelings visible to him in their depths.
His tightly wielded control snaps and he kisses her with
more gusto than he has before. Her mouth and her body becoming his solace and
his paradise, all at once. He cannot have enough of her as his lips travel all
over her face, kissing her eyes, her cheeks, her temple, her nose, her jaw.
He kisses and licks the column of her throat, snips her
shoulders and finally once again as before moving towards her breasts he realizes
her hand has found him and his movements cease.
It occurs to him, he did not even realize when she popped
open the button and unzipped him, hell it took the brush of her hand, a feather-light touch, stroking his
hardness that jolted him into awareness of the situation.
He mewls, actually mewls burrowing his face in between her
breasts as she exploratively wraps her hand around him. Her hand holds him
softly but it is enough to make him feel like he will go up in flames at any
instant now. He thinks he should stop her before he loses his control but then,
just then she strokes his length and a rumbling sound leaves his chest.
No, he cannot, he cannot stop her - it is too much and yet
not enough.
He needs her, wants her and as does she. It took them forever to get here in the first
place and with the upcoming storm in their life, he knows they would be once again
at odds; he would be damned if this night ends up one with regrets or lost
opportunities.
His mind now resolved he raises his head to look at her and
the moment their eyes meet, her movements cease.
Wordlessly, he moves her hand away and before she can
protest, places a finger on her lips. Just as quietly, he gets up from the bed
mindful of moving carefully to not hurt her injured leg in the process of
removing himself from between her legs.
Never moving his eyes off her even for an instant, his hand reaches
for his trousers that he pulls down. His briefs follow an instant later and he
revels in the way her cheeks flush watching him in all his glory, as she licks
her lips and cannot avert her eyes away from his form. Watching her take him
in, desire him has his heart stirring with such joy, he does not wait a moment
longer and slips in beside her on the bed resting on his side, as she makes
space for him moving aside her uninjured leg.
Her lips curve into a soft smile as she opens her arms for
him and as they embrace, he could swear he had felt like he came home, as if he
had been waiting for this moment all his life. The sense of belonging and calm
that washes over him as he nuzzles her neck, placing soft kisses along the line
of her shoulders, taking in her scent is sheer bliss.
As if she heard his heart, his soul ask her in a whisper - what took you so long to find me, to get
to me, why didn't you come sooner - she glides her hand up his nape and her
fingers twine in his hair, pulling his mouth towards her. The moment his lips
meet hers all that matters is they here at last, with each other in this
moment, as they love each other.
Gently taking her hand in his he kisses her fingertips and
starts lowering their joined hands between them.
Once their hands reach his waist, he stops.
"I can't hurt you Ishita."
"But Raman..."
"Shh...let me finish."
He says with a chuckle watching as she pouts with
impatience. Placing a soft kiss on her lips, he runs his free hand through her
hair, making her sigh.
"Like I was saying, I can't hurt you and just because I am
patient doesn't mean I can be careful always; so we will do this."
"This?"
Her brows furrow in confusion and so he brings his lips to
her ear and sinfully whispers against it, his breath hot against her skin,
making her shiver.
"I want you to continue what you were doing; I know you want
to make me happy Ishita, which is why you are being so persistent. Well we can
do it in this way too."
Her breath hitches once he is done and the way her cheeks
flush makes him smile as he kisses them. Gently holding onto her hand, he
guides it to his length and encloses her soft palm over it. A hiss escapes his
mouth at the feel of the firmness of the grip, making his eyes close
simultaneously.
As he opens, his eyes though he finds her looking wary and
wonders, if he rushed her into something.
"Hey, what's the matter? If you...Ishita...you don't need to
if you are..."
Her hand covers his mouth before he can finish,
Swallowing a gulp, she licks her dry lips and lets out a
breath before speaking up,
"It's not that Raman I just...I don't know how to do this."
His mouth opens for a moment but no words escape as he
thinks, of course.
A smile breaking on his face, he gently kisses her on the
mouth to assure her and to his satisfaction finds, she looks less tensed with
the gesture.
"Sorry. I should have thought of that."
Rubbing his nose gently against hers, he softly husks,
"Don't worry Ishita, its fine."
"What about now?"
"Now, I teach you...how to touch me."
As soon as the words leave his mouth he realizes something
and even before he can stop himself he speaks up,
"You know I have done this before..."
"What!" She exclaims not allowing him to complete and before
her mind can run a mile a minute he speaks up, shushing her with his hand over
her mouth,
"I mean by myself, as
I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted."
He enunciates the words carefully, laying an extra emphasis
on the one concerning himself
When relief washes across her face, he continues,
"I know you are just a dentist, but I am sure, you know how
human body works, especially in males."
She swats his shoulder for that,
"How many times should I tell you dentists are doctors too,
and of course we study the human anatomy I know what happens to the male body,
I studied it in a classroom of 200 students, half of whom were guys, for your
kind information alright?"
It is when she is done that it occurs to her what exactly
she spoke and her eyes widen.
He cannot help it when his entire body starts shaking with
mirth as he hides his face in the crook of her neck, laughing against her.
Though she slaps him on the back for that, soon enough the sound of her
laughter joins his and they look at each other amidst the laughter.
His eyes full of laughter and joy look at her and he kisses
her hard on the mouth.
"I love it that you are so full of surprises always."
"Raman."
She whines, actually whines his name and he finds her
adorable even then. Shaking his head, he thinks to himself how he could have
ever thought keeping her at an arm' length was ever an option. Silly woman,
ever since he met her, he should have known she would take over his life, his
thoughts, and his family, eventually his heart and his very soul.
How could he have ever survived her?
"I was just saying, before we had a slight detour. I never
had err, how to say this, an audience
for this."
She takes that in and there is a brief quiet which none of
them knows how to break.
Finally, her voice breaks the silence.
"Show me then, show me how to touch you Raman."
Therefore, he does, as he moves their joined hands over his
length and is soon guiding her fingers to pleasure him. He notices how she is
alert and curious, but silent for a while as he teaches her what he likes and
how. When wetness gathers around her fingers, she does not shy away or back off
feeling disgusted or repulsed, instead her movements became more confident.
Softly she asks him if, he likes this and that, much as he
had earlier done the same during their first coupling.
The hesitance, the tremble that occurred occasionally in her
movements vanished as he began making a low rumbling sound.
He did not realize when his hand left hers and he found
himself at her mercy. Her clever, soft fingers never lingered long anywhere,
though he could swear he felt she was everywhere at once. As she stroked him,
fondled him and cupped him. Her hand continued its slow movements while her eyes
watched his reaction, taking in every detail of his face, the flexing motion of
his abdomen, even the way his breath quickened when she did something in
particular.
Soon though he had had enough and holding her hand in his he
increased the pace of the strokes as his hips jerked. His groans reverberated
throughout the room and soon he came in a pulse of blazing heat in their hands.
His body covered in sweat, his breathing heavy, he slumped
over her and felt a soft kiss on his hair as his head found itself listening to
the soothing rhythm of her heartbeats.
When he found his breathing under control, he looked at her
and their mouths met in a kiss so soft, so sweet he would have believed it to
be a dream were it not for the way his heart still galloped and his dry throat.
Moving away from her, he got up and made his way to the
bathroom. Once he had cleaned up, he found her to be in a half-sitting
position, as he quietly sat beside her and with a wet napkin wiped her. Once
done he got up, disposed the napkin in the laundry hamper kept inside the
bathroom and later returned to their room.
"Do you want water?"
She asked him upon his arrival.
"Yes, please."
Thus, he found her pouring him a glass of water that she
extended to him the moment it refilled. He had seen her drink from the same
glass as he walked out and even though they just indulged in such passionate
acts, made love twice now, he finds the gesture of drinking from the same
glass, so intimate, so simple and
easy to indulge in, he faces her with a smile.
Once his thirst quenches, he replaces the glass on the
nightstand beside her side of the bed; a shiver runs up his spine as he thinks
of those words - her side of the bed
- as she questions him.
"What happened?"
Not knowing how to evade that he chooses to go with the
truth and simply utters,
"I just realized from now on this is gonna be always your
side of the bed. This is finally our
bed."
The words make her blush crimson and he presses a kiss on
the top of her head surprising her.
Walking towards his
side of the bed now, he keeps his eyes on her as she watches him and finally
slips in beside her on the bed.
"Our bed..." She whispers the words as if testing the way they
sound on her tongue and a smile lights up her face, her eyes bright as she
leans into him and kisses him.
"Yes, it's ours Ishita, only and only ours. This bed is now
yours and mine; forever." He whispers possessively,
as his arm goes around her when she places her head on his shoulder.
When she looks at him with so much love, he wishes he could
stop time forever but knowing he can't do that ever, he simply utters,
"We better sleep now."
She nods quietly in agreement and he makes sure she is
comfortable, placing a throw cushion under her fractured leg before he pulls
the comforter over them.
Within minutes, they find themselves lost in the land of
dreams worn out by the activities and their long day.
Come morning, he wakes up feeling something heavy on his
shoulder and finds her head placed over it, her hair tickling his face as it
brushes against the underside of his jaw, a soft smile gracing her lips.
Mesmerized by the sight he watches quietly and finds she
moved in her sleep, and currently his wife is stretching along the bed
diagonally. He chuckles to himself for a moment before he remembers how they
got there and his laughter dies away in his throat.
Careful not to wake her, he moves her head from his shoulder
and places a pillow under it. Getting up, he walks to their cupboard and takes
out a change of clothes giving her a glance before walking into the bathroom.
Once he is ready for the day having finished his morning
activities, he dresses up and quietly walks to the place where he had placed
the file last night after throwing it on the floor. He places the file on their
coffee table. Making sure she is still asleep he removes the letter from
Shagun' lawyer and prays to god he be forgiven for what he is about to do.
Folding the paper he places it in his pocket.
Before his wife can wake up, he quickly collects her
belongings strewn across the floor, thrown last night in a frenzy of passion
and places them on his side of the bed.
As he is about to walk out of the room, he takes one last
glance of the woman who loved him with all her heart last night, knowing he is
about to break hers and hopes they make it through this. His heart promises he
would set things right, get their daughter back, he just needs to save his son
before he can do that.
Clicking the button of the lock on their door, so that it
locks in once he leaves he closes it behind himself, knowing well enough her
alarm will ring in a matter of minutes and though not immediately, but soon
enough his deed will be discovered.
He whispers the words against the closed door before walking
away from the woman he just betrayed,
"I love you Ishita, I hope you will forgive me for what I am
about to do, to you, to Ruhi, to us."
Edited by EkPaheli - 9 years ago
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