"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." Rumi
Unfolded out of the folds of the woman, man comes unfolded, as is always to come unfolded,
Unfolded only out of the superbest woman of the earth, is to come the superbest man of the earth,
Unfolded out of the friendliest woman, is to come the friendliest man,
Unfolded only out of the perfect body of a woman, can a man be formed of perfect body,
Unfolded only out of the inimitable poem of the woman, can come the poems of man"only thence have my poems come,
Unfolded by brawny embraces from the well-muscled woman I love, only thence come the brawny embraces of the man,
Unfolded out of the folds of the woman's brain, come all the folds of the man's brain, duly obedient,
Unfolded out of the justice of the woman, all justice is unfolded,
Unfolded out of the sympathy of the woman is all sympathy;
A man is a great thing upon the earth, and through eternity"but every jot of the greatness of man is unfolded out of woman,
First the man is shaped in the woman, he can then be shaped in himself.
Walt Whitman (from Leaves of Grass, first published in 1860 edition)
From darkness into light
"You are the closest I will ever come to magic."? Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles
Deep inside the womb,nurtured by its mother the new life sleeps in a trance which is more like the act of a body in the time of death.But its tiny brain records everything it hears,even if it is not conscious yet,even if the realization of its own self and place in the world is far away,quite some time away.but its brain registers everything and everything is stored away.some will come back to haunt and some will come bringing joy.Like a ray of sunlight on a cold dark day,memories will some time come flooding back and with them will come recognition of love and bonds and of things that we lost in the fire.
Quote from what if - chapter 3
I am avini,daughter of ponni and nannan.I was alone in my blindness and i was alone in my soul.But the spirits of the forest have breathed their elements into me and now the light has pierced my soul and filled my womb.I am the light because of the light in me that has been given to me.I am beautiful because of the light and the soul that twinkles its heart every second and my heart beats with its beat.
Avini sat in the shade of the neem tree with her body leaned against the trunk for support.The full belly had now been noticed by all the villagers and they did what they could to help her.Just as many summers ago like her arrival had given hope to the village of kurinji,the elders of perumalvaram waited in anxiety for the coming of avini's child.Gunalan had been missing for many months and the villagers whispered that he had met another woman in a nearby village and was spending time with her.
But nothing could dampen avini for she knew she would have to be strong to bring up her child on her own and that she would need to draw on her every ounce of her strength and belief.Gayatri was her source of strength,every second of the time that passed and the cow followed her everywhere and watched over her like a faithful dog.But even avini had forgotten that gayatri had been with her for a long,long time and was now living way past the life span of a cow.
The tree undressed itself of its green clothes and stood naked with its brown bark and long limbs and all of the trees old clothes now lay at its feet burnt,dry and blowing in the wind.All the trees in the village and forest were shedding leaves and like lost children they flew here and there and were swept away by the villagers and carried away with the breeze.These were the days before the might of the summer sun would burn,bake and torment all things that lay under its eye and in its domain.Only the deepest lakes and ponds would still nurture their schools of fishes and creatures that lived in its watery world.But all other shallow water holes would dry up and and their underbellies revealed to the sun god.
Avini lived in her own world and in her own light and she knew that her child would come in to this world during the months of rain or just after it.Slowly but steadily a fear gripped her as the truth and reality hit home and she began to wonder how she was going to look after herself and her baby.Both her parents were gone and death had also taken away the kind-hearted Pattamma who had been her mother-in-law.
The night brought a strange dream for her best friend Appanar iyya came in it and whispered words of strength.In the dream,they both walked and he pointed to a mountain and strange lights that were descending on top of it and " the gods are coming my child and they are coming to protect you.They and i will be there next to you,every step and you will never be alone.If the need arises,call for the voice and they will surely come and all will be well.I am in the forest and i am the forest and everything will be fine."
Avini woke up from her sleep and she felt the tears on her face and wondered if she had been dreaming and she reached out to feel the softness of gayatri next to her.Slowly she sat up and placing her hands around gayatri she hugged the cow and the night marched on over perumalpuram and in the darkness and in the shadows they stood guard,spirits of the forest and the lion who prowled the boundaries in secret,keeping any eye on the light and the life.
Forces of war were gathering in madurai and in the palace,standing in a balcony overlooking the vaigai river, the pandyan king kulasekaran looked at nikantan,his minister " how much longer and how much more of this slavery do the pandyans have to suffer under the cholas.Havent we waited enough and how much longer do we have to wait for the signs.'
Nikantan calmly " lord,the signs are here but the wait will be for a while longer.Maybe a few more years for the signs are a bit confusing."
Kulasekaran stared at nikantan and then turned to one the guards and ordered him to go bring him his personal astrologer, Sahasranamam iyengar .
Sahasranamam the official astrologer and also the chief priest of the temple came in and after bowing to the king asked him how he could be of help.
Kulasekraran asked him to read the stars and see if it was time to begin preparations for a war against the cholas and to fight to get back their freedom.
Sahasranamam sat down and after placing the charts,closed his eyes and meditated for a while and then opening them looked at the king with a puzzled expression.Kulasekaran asked him to be frank and open with his findings and waited while sahasranamam went about writing a few things down.
The astrologer looked up and said " my king,my lord.although i have been in this field for a very long time,and my father and my forefathers have been in your service for a long long time,even i am confused by these signs.Yes,our clan of pandyas will eventually triumph and inflict a huge defeat on the cholas but it will not be under you,but someone close to you.and even that victory will come from an outside force,a force from the heavens".
Kulasekaran took in all this information and smiled " well,now you have thoroughly confused me too.Victory for us under someone else but not from my blood but from an outside force.Do you mean to say that the lord i worship and pray to everyday is going to come down from his mountain kingdom and free us from our bonds."
Sahasranamam did not know how to answer this " my lord,that is why me and nikantan think it is better to wait until things become more clearer.Moreover we still need to gather more forces and forge alliances with the king from ceylon and with the kingdom from the malabar region."
kulasekaran looked at nikantan and sahasranamam and then " okay,i agree with what you say.but could you be more clearer on that outside force you mentioned for that intrigues me the most."
Sahasranamam looked at the charts and " my lord,our stars look very bright for the next hundred years and yet there is a new star on the horizon,rising in the east and it is going to outshine all of us and evrything we do.Our entire history is going to be based on this star and forever linked with its destiny.I am not sure why the charts are saying this and what it exactly means,but i promise that in a few months time,everything will be clear and i will be able to tell you more."
Kulasekaran wearily nodded okay and requested them both to leave him to think more about all that he had just heard.placing his mighty arms on the wooden beam,he looked at that rising sun and whispered a prayer " my lord,i live but i am dead.I am a king but i feel like a beggar.will you not free me and my people from this misery and tyranny of the chola kingdom.help me my lord,please help me.".
The tears flowed from his eyes and he wiped them with the silk cloth that covered his chest and then,right then,the clouds that covered the sun floated away and the light from our star blazed so mightily that kulasekaran had to hide his eyes for it was so bright.The light blazed on the golden top of the madurai temple and the king thought he saw his city bathed in golden light.he knew it was a sign,a message from the heavens and raising his hands over his head and bowing his head
chanted ''Thiruchitrambalam,Thiruchitrambalam".
The light was already here,in the womb of avini and it moved and the soul of azhagan blazed fiercely for it was ready to begin its voyage and its purpose.
I am azahgan and i am the son of avini.
I am fire and i am water. I am hell and i am heaven and i will bring peace to you.
kaalaththil azhiyaadha kaaviyam thara vandha
maaperum kavi mannane unakku
thaayoru mozhi solluven
pallakku parivaaram pataiyutan muti sootal
sollukku vilaiyaakume makane un
tholukkuL puvi aalume
vaazhvendrum thaazhvendrum valamendrum kuraivendrum
sakkaram suzhalkindradhu adhil thaan sariththiram nikazhkindradhu
yaarukkum vaazhvundu adharkoru naalundu
adhu varai poruppaayataa makane en
arukinil iruppaayataa
kaalaththil azhiyaadha kaaviyam thara vandha
maaperum kavi mannane unakku
thaayoru mozhi solluven
song from kalidas
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