Paarijat- A Tale of Desideratum Final & Epilogue 88, Feb 13, 2016

Paarijat- A tale Of Desideratum

First Shot

 My Heart Holds Nectar (Amar Praner Majhe Sudha)

 My heart brims with nectar, do you desire it?

 Alas, perhaps you failed to notice!

 The sweet fragrance of the Paarijat, can you smell?

 Alas, perchance it too seems out of bounds!

 It's raining love, alas, aren't you even aware of that?

 Today with the rumbling clouds,

 Do you let the peacocks dance in your heart?

 I've strung the chords on the sitar-

 I've tuned the melodies of paradise...

 Would you like to sing the notes with me"

Our hearts and souls in unison?

Alas, may be you couldn't come to the concert!

Again and again Nature has called out, did you respond?

On this day of Jhulan, all hearts feel the sway

Yet only your heart fails to move!

 The recesses of my heart hold nectar, do you need it?

Alas, possibly you don't even care to know!

-Rabindranath Tagore

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Desideratum- noun; something wanted or needed

She woke up gasping, her sensations overwhelmed by the smell of the night flowering jasmine also known as the Paarijat. The small, fragrant white flowers with their fiery centers were raining down on her. In the deep shadows of her room, she saw the faint outline of a tall figure, hands extended, the final few flowers pouring out of his hands and onto her body.

'Maan.' Her heart sang. He was finally home and her whole body vibrated with the need to jump out of the bed and hug him fiercely. She wanted to curl up in his arms and die. But alas...

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to end the interlude, she wasn't sure was a figment of her imagination or a dreamy reality. However before she could make a sound she felt the soft petals of a single flower flutter gently across her forehead. She held her breath, her whole body attuned to the gentle sensation of the petals as the flower trailed down her nose and paused a second, before it traced the outline of her trembling lips. The flower dropped unknowingly and was replaced by his finger. His warm digit trailed the divide between her two lips. Her breath started coming in pants as she was lost in the sensations that started at her mouth and rippled across her whole being. He pressed on her plump lower lip gently and her lips parted unconsciously. He sucked in his breath and before she was aware firm lips brushed against hers once, twice and then they opened over hers in an open mouthed kiss that held more than a hint of desperation. Over and over those sensuous lips claimed hers, molding and reshaping them beneath his. His arms crushed her to him and his hands raced frantically across her back and arms. He wrenched his lips from hers and touched his forehead to hers as he cradled her in his arms tightly.

"Finally!! Oh God finally!! After so many years Paarijat...my sweet, shy Paarijat, you are finally in my arms. God!! How I adore you. Kiss me again darling to show me that this is not a dream or kill me right now if you are nothing but a fever induced dream." He groaned the words out as his lips trailed across her cheek heatedly, moving once again to seek her soft mouth.

Geet had been completely lost in an unknown world of sensations as the man she had adored her entire life, kissed the breath out of her. She had been unaware of anything else and her whole being had been centered on the feelings she was experiencing for the first time, when he spoke and reality slammed back with that one word.

'Paarijat'

She shoved him back with all her might, stumbled out of the bed and stood trembling beside it as her legs refused to move another inch. They were trembling so hard, she could barely stand. She grabbed the headboard of the bed for support and slowly turned on the night lamp.

She heard a sharp intake of breath from Maan's lips as his gaze finally fell onto the reality of the woman before him and tears sprang to her eyes.

"God Geet." He rasped and took a step towards her.

"Stop!!!" She held up a palm up to ward him off.

"Pl..please Maan. I am sorry... I am so sorry. This...this should not have happened. It is not your fault. I..I have no excuse. It..it just...just that I was cau...caught by surprise. Or else I would have stopped you before... before you ki...kis.." She could not complete the sentence and blushed profusely as she recalled her abandoned response to his kiss. He had not recognized her, but she herself had no such excuse.

"No Geet absolutely not. If there is anybody to be blamed then it is me." Maan interrupted her forcefully.

However Geet was past the stage of listening and she shook her head negatively.

"No Maan!!! Don't say that. You... you called out her...her name. You...you thought it...it was her." She closed her palms into tight fists, until her fingernails bit into her soft palms as she pointed out the painful fact. "I...I don't blame you. I was sleeping in Shefali's room and you thought..you thought that I was he...her." She stumbled over the painful truth.

"I thought I would share her room tonight and you... you could take over mine and so I was in this room. The renovations to your room are complete, but there is still some paint smell there. It should be fine in another three to four days for you to move back, until then if...if you don't mind you...you can st...stay in my room."

"And you won't mind sharing your room with me Geet?" He enquired hsukily.

The words sharing her room, evoked provocative images in her mind that she had absolutely no right to imagine and she closed her eyes and mind against them and shook her head negatively.

"Fine Geet. I will learn all your secrets when I am in your room. And you do have a lot of secrets don't you Geet? Things that you don't want to share with me; Even though you left me completely exposed. How many years ago was it Geet, that you read my journal entry?"

"Five." Geet whispered and shifted uneasily as she thought back carefully over if there was anything in her room that would expose her and then thought back to how reading the words in his journal had virtually killed her. Her rose tinted glasses had shattered into a million pieces and every piece of that glass had pierced and stabbed her heart over and over again.

"It's been a long five years, Geet. Five years since you read all my secrets and yet you learnt nothing about me."

"Did you know Geet, I stopped writing anything in any journals since that day. One entry, just one entry and it brought such a turbulent storm in my life. No more journal entries for me. Everything I feel now, I store here". He pointed to his chest.

"However, Paarijat was not there with me for one whole year and this damned rusted clunker that beats in my chest refused to write anything. It just punched out one name.

"Paarijat...Paarijat...Paarijat."

"But no matter how hard it cried, I denied its cries and slammed the lid tightly shut on any feelings. I refused to feel anything and today after 364 days, 9 hours and 11 minutes, I saw her, I touched her, I kissed her...and I felt. I felt with every breath of my being and perhaps I went a little crazy."

"Only it turned out to be me in her place" Geet whispered, even as her heart screamed in agony at his words.

"Yes Geet. Turns out I kissed you. Tell me Geet, was I the first one to touch your lips or has there been anybody else? And how would you score me on a scale of one to ten?"

"You...you have no right to ask..ask me that question Maan."

"Is there somebody who has the right to then?" He continued with his questioning doggedly.

She shook her head negatively, even as she avoided his eyes.

She heard him sigh deeply and strangely enough it almost sounded like a sigh of relief to her. However that did not make sense to her at all and she shrugged it off as her own silly imagination.

"Are you going to tell Shef that we shared a kiss Geet?" She shook her head violently in denial, yet again.

"Why not Geet? Why will you not share with your dearest sister the fact that we kissed, when you share everything with her. You could also share the fact that it was a kiss that knocked both our socks off"

Geet gasped and looked up at him.

"The kiss did rock you didn't it Geet? And don't bother denying it. I could remove my shirt right now and show you the crescent marks your nails left on my back and shoulders where you clutched me. And your swollen lips and the nick on your lower lip is the evidence of my overwhelmed senses."

Geet slapped both her hands over her mouth and turned away from him, her whole body shaking from the raw impact of his words. Suddenly she could not bear the torture anymore and turned to him.

"Why Maan? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me when you love her so much?"

"I wonder why? Don't be mistaken Geet, love could not even begin to describe the craziness she evokes in me. I burn for her, I yearn for her. I want to live for her and die for her. And that does not even scratch the surface of what I feel for her."

Geet wanted to slap her palms over her ears to stop the barrage of passionate words that were dripping from his lips and onto her senses like burning acid. Why...why was she his sounding board? Why was she the witness to this impassioned speech of his, instead of the rightful owner...her sister.

He continued as if he'd read her mind.

"Are you wondering why I am sharing these things with you? Why not Geet? Like I said, who better understands me than you? After all it was you who raced to Shef and told her that I loved her after reading my journal didn't you? My memory fails me. What was it that I had written in the journal Geet?"

"I... I don't remember Maan." She lied.

Every word from that journal had been engraved on her heart through her endless tears. Each word that she had initially thought had been written for her, which had elevated her to an absolute shivering state of bliss, only to be slammed back to earth as she read the last line of the entry. They had been the same words that had jerked her back to reality from the intoxication of Maan's embrace moments ago.

"Then let me remind you Geet. My memory has suddenly decided to return to me momentarily." He continued in a mocking tone.

"You know I am not a man given to sentimental whimsies. I am involved in any number of business wheeling and dealings on a day to day basis. Every aspect of my life is cut and dry and completely unsentimental. I think perhaps the reason for it is that she absorbs every emotion that I have to offer. My mind and my heart are so engrossed in her that I just don't have any left over to give for other aspects of my life. Such a me, five years ago saw a song by Rabindranath Tagore in the newspaper. You know Geet, I only ever read the front page news and then the business section. But that day somehow my eyes were drawn to that page with that particular song and the scrawled lyrics taunted me with their parallel meaning to my life. It was as if Rabindranath Tagore had seen into my heart and laid it bare for the world to see. That song called out to me and I noted it down in the journal. It sat there incongruously amongst all the other numerical entries, about calculations and expenditures that I usually used that journal for."

Geet recalled that day clearly. It had been the only dog eared page in an otherwise flawlessly crisp journal, as if Maan had visited and caressed the page over and over and over again. It had fallen open on that page when she had gone into Maan's room because she'd learnt something monumental about her own life. She had been hurting very badly and had wanted the balm of his presence. She wanted to hear soothing words from his mouth that would fill the deep gash that had suddenly appeared in her heart that day, instead the gash had just widened into a deep chasm that was still bleeding to this day.

  The song had been beautiful and had pulled at her heartstrings as she read the yearning for an unfulfilled love in it. The similarity in her situation and the song had called out to her and she had caressed the bold slash of dark ink that had been imprinted on the paper by Maan's hand.

Why had he saved this particular song?

Her heart pounded as she read the song. An unrequited love was the story of her life. But what about Maan? Did this mean he harbored the same feelings?

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There was merely a year's difference between Shefali and Geet. However she believed herself to be far older mentally than her younger sister. 

Geet was a naturally reserved person, the more she felt, the more she withdrew into herself. Shefali on the other hand was an exuberant person who wore her heart on her sleeve. She expressed every emotion she felt loudly and clearly. Joy, sadness, anger, disgust, fear all got an equal and wide use by her.

Geet had been ten and Shefali nine when the Khuranas, their two boys and Mr. Khurana's parents had moved into the neighborhood. Maan had been fifteen  and Ved ten, the same age as Geet. Ved had joined school and was in Geet's class, whereas Maan was five years ahead of them.

Ved was a prankster through and through who always found time for mischief. He had found a new target in the impassive Geet. She refused to react to the tricks he pulled and he refused to let her off without drawing a reaction from her. There had been wriggly earthworms in her lunchbox and frogs that jumped out of her school bag when she opened it. There had been raw eggs in her shoes and toothpaste in place of cream in her cookies. Completed homework assignments had disappeared from her bag for which she had been punished by the teachers. Besides this there had been pranks pulled on the teachers for which Geet had been blamed. The final straw had come when Geet had been suspended from school and had been asked to get her parents there to resolve the suspension. Ved had realized that the situation had gotten out of hand and had run behind Geet as soon as class was over.

Geet was sitting stone faced in her most favorite place in the world, under the Paarijat tree in the Khurana backyard. Ved was pleading forgiveness from her and she was ignoring him as usual. Just then Maan entered the backyard. Geet had not interacted much with him before then and she tensed as he approached them.

"What's going on here Ved?  What have you gone and done this time?" Maan glared at him.

"I... I" Ved faltered.

"Out with it Ved...now!!"

Ved had slowly confessed to the mischief he had been upto and then cried out in frustration, "How can she just not feel anything bhaiyya? Can you believe it, I bugged her for one whole year, but she just refused to react and so the situation got out of hand."

 Maan's eyes narrowed on Geet's hands which were tightly clutched around her own arms.

"Go inside Ved. Go to your room, close the door and don't dare peek outside here. I will deal with you later."

"But bhaiyya..." Ved protested.

"Now Ved or else I'm not going to tell mom and dad about this and deal with you myself and you know you don't want that." Maan glared at him.

Ved had raced from there while apologizing profusely to his brother. Maan on the other hand looked down at the girl sitting under the tree, who had neither moved an inch nor spoken anything, since the moment he had stepped outside into the backyard. He went and sat quietly next to her for a long moment picking up the wilted Paarijat flowers that were lying around.

"You are Geet right? I see you picking these flowers every morning for puja." He pointed to the portion of the house facing the backyard.

"My room's up there facing this way. I usually pick them for Dadi after you are done." She gave him a startled look at that.

"Yep. Flower picking is not really my most favorite thing in the world you understand, but Dadi loves these flowers. She says they are so pure that they are the only flowers that are picked up off the ground and offered to God. So I am here every morning" He grimaced, while shrugging his shoulders.

"There are many stories associated with the Paarijat. You should ask dadi, she would love to share them."

Geet nodded quietly. The hands she had wrapped around herself loosened a bit.

"Geet don't worry. I will sort out everything with your teacher's tomorrow."  The hands tightened around herself again.

"Stop that." Maan grabbed one of her hands and pulled it away from her arms.

"Stop hurting yourself. Cry if you have to, scream if you must. Punch Ved in the face if you want to, but stop hurting yourself." With that he pulled the sleeve of her shirt up and the deep gashes where she had clawed herself each time she had wanted to protest but had not was revealed. There were fresh wounds and old scars on her upper arms where her nails had dug deep into her tender skin, evidence for each time that she'd wanted to scream when Ved had pulled a trick on her, evidence of the unfairness she'd felt when the teacher's had punished her. Now as Maan held her arms apart she felt completely exposed. It was not her wounds he had exposed but her soul he'd laid bare. She wrenched her arms away from him, shivering and trying to shrink within herself.

"Geet ssh, it's okay." He patted her head gently.

That gentle caress broke the dam of her tolerance and she burst out into loud sobs letting go of all the fears and frustrations of the past weeks. Maan consoled her quietly while patting her head. After a long moment he spoke again.

 "This will be our secret Geet. I promise not to tell anybody, but in return you have to promise me something. From today you will not tolerate and hide things inside you and hurt yourself. You will come and tell me everything, promise?"

Geet nodded her head vigorously, ready to promise anything to her savior that day.

 "Maa...Maan. " She stammerd out.  "I will pick the flowers from tomorrow for Dadi for her puja? Will that be okay?"

"So you do have a voice. Next time use it to express what you feel clearly okay? And yes you can most definitely pick the flowers for dadi." He grinned back happily at her. 

That had been the first day her hero worship had begun. She had no clue when that hero worship had turned to adoration, when she had started getting attracted to him and when she'd fallen in love. It had all been a part of her growing up process.

Shefali on the other hand had been infatuated with every passing boy. She would declare passionate, undying love for a boy one week, the next week she would barely remember the face of that boy as she fell for her next target. Geet had consoled her through endless tears, listened through countless accounts of so called dreamy boys. She had also written  down sickeningly sweet love letters dictated by Shefali, coz she claimed Geet's handwriting was an work of art and the letter had to be written by her. Geet had mostly agreed coz Shefali generally fell out of infatuation before she could gather enough courage to deliver the letter. Only once had she made Geet the messenger and had begged and pleaded with her to deliver the letter personally for her. After many refusals and denials when Geet could no longer ignore her sister's sad, swollen eyed face, she had reluctantly agreed. She had gone to the boy's house with the letter concealed in one of Shefali's note books. She had rang the doorbell and waited nervously and when she had seen a young man open the door, she had handed the book to him and told him about the letter in the book. Only it had turned he had been the older brother of the boy Shefali was infatuated with and he had assumed that the letter was being given to him by Geet. He had been excited and called out to somebody behind him and told him that there was a girl at his doorstep personally delivering a love letter to him. Before Geet could correct his wrong assumption the other person he had called out to had stepped out and it had turned out to be none other than Maan.

Maan had been so mad at her, she would never forget the blazing revulsion and anger in his eyes. Geet had shriveled inside at that look on his face and been about to run away from there, when Maan had grabbed her arm and stopped her.

She still recalled his words clearly.

"Varun, take a good look at this girl and then forget her face forever. Forget that she ever wrote a letter to you and forget that she was ever here."

He had taken the letter and ripped it up into pieces, then grabbed Geet's arm and dragged her away from there. After pulling her along for some distance he had stopped abruptly and turned on her.

"Why Geet? Where did you meet him? How do you know him? Geet for heaven sake say something. Never mind.  Forget it.  I don't want to hear another word about this."

He dragged his hand through his hair and looked at her with what she thought was pain in his eyes.

That look in his eyes made her open her mouth rapidly. When she explained the situation to him he had gotten extremely mad.

"God damn it!! I'm going to kill that little brat.  She dares to make you the messenger for her love letters. She has grown up so much that she is writing love letters and asking her idiot sister to deliver them?"

Was that the moment Maan had realized Shefali was growing up, she wondered?

"Geet, if I ever catch you writing or delivering love letters to anybody other than m... I mean... just don't Geet, just don't let me ever catch you doing this again."

He had seemed frustrated, agitated and she had been lost in her own dream world, weaving up impossible situations about Maan and herself.

Few weeks later when she had casually mentioned that she was borrowing and wearing her mamma's saree for the farewell party along with her friends, he forbade her to wear it.

"But Maan, I have already taken mamma and papa's permission and I will be the odd one out if I don't wear it."

"You always are the odd one Geet and so you don't need to wear that saree to fit in."

She had agreed reluctantly, though she felt bad about it.

When she had turned eighteen, Maan had gifted her a saree and asked her to wear it.  Her joy had known no bounds and she was sure that Maan definitely felt something for her.  She had been almost certain when Shefali had worn the saree without her permission. 

Maan had seen her in it and been really mad.

"Geet why is Shefali wearing that saree? That saree was not meant for her.  It was my gift to you, not her."

Geet had been over the moon with what she had assumed was Maan's possessiveness.

He had gone ahead and gotten Shefali a saree of her own. Shefali had been super excited and hugged and kissed Maan on the cheek.

Maan had grinned at her and ruffled her hair. 

She had worn the saree immediately and shown it off to Maan who had pretended to be zapped and praised her lavishly.  Only Geet realized that he had not been pretending, he really had been zapped.

She had felt really uncomfortable when Shefali had commented after Maan left.

"Wow Di.  When did Maan get so hot?  Damn his body is ripped.  I could feel his muscles when I hugged him. There was not a single soft part on his body. I could easily fall for him Di."

Geet had been irritated, but knowing Shefali, she had not taken her too seriously.

There had been a few comments from Maan about how Shefali was growing up and that she needed to shape up and curb some of her wild tendencies.

Geet had thought nothing much about it and taken it as just brotherly concern that Maan felt for Shefali.

The one event that had gradually led to a chain reaction was a casual conversation she'd had with Maan.

. Maan had been lying next to her on a blanket, under the Paarijat tree. They had both been studying.

Maan looked up at the tree and commented lazily,

"Geet do you know the meaning of Shefali? It means a flower. In particular the  Paarijat flower.  Dadi mentioned it today. Shefali... the Paarijat.  That is so unbelievable." He laughed as if there was some secret joke only he understood.

"Why Maan, what is so unbelievable about it?" She smiled down at him.

He had given her an intense look and smiled softly while looking away.

"You are not ready for the answer yet Geet, when you are, you'll be the first one to know."

 Two years later, she had read the journal entry and she'd known.

The journal where she'd read Tagore's song, then casually turned the page and come face to face with the most ardently passionate outpouring of Maan's heart.

Now, Maan was repeating the same words in his husky voice and she died a little as he repeated the same words.

"I yearn for you. I thirst for you. I count the days and hours till I can claim you and you'll finally be mine.

When will you look at me as a man that was made for you and only you? You have spoilt me for any other woman sweetheart. The man I have become today is the man I have molded myself to be for you and nobody but you will accept me. So take responsibility for me jaan.

When will you write me a love letter of my own?

When my darling, will you claim me?

Everyday that passes by it gets harder to not claim those lips that talk about everything under the sun, but not what I desperately wait to hear.

When I saw you in that saree for the first time all I wanted to do was bundle you up and hide you away from the world. I wanted to leisurely explore every luscious curve that piece of cloth dares to reveal and then dress up every dip and swell with kisses and caresses.

You tempt me to cross all boundaries. I am holding on to my control by the skin of my teeth. Someday this dam of patience is going to break and at that time nobody, neither, God, nor parents, nor siblings...nor you yourself... absolutely no one will be able to stop me from making you mine.

Have I been seeing the same yearning in your eyes that I am sure is in mine every time I look at you, or is it my just my wishful thinking?

I would not have been so desperate if you had not made me so unsure of myself. It is a strange thing. Everything I have wanted in life I have gone behind it relentlessly and achieved it. If something did not go my way I easily brushed it off and moved on, but you are the only exception to that rule. I can neither brush you off, nor can I stop myself from this unrelenting pursuit of my one ultimate dream...you.

You are my very own Paarijat... the flower with a fierce core. I want that soul destroying intensity that you display so fiercely, focused on me. I want to release all that passion that is bottled up inside you and revel in it.

Will you come into my life and fill it with your fragrance Paarijat?

 My heart relentlessly cries out only one name... Paarijat...Paarijat...Paarijat.

 Paarijat...A beautiful name for perfection."

 Maan took a deep breath and stopped and looked at the stone faced woman before him. There was absolutely no expression on her face, except that her eyes burnt with a fierce intensity and her palms were wrapped tightly around her arms. He walked over to her and pulled her hands away from her arms and looked down at the deep crescent marks her nails had left. He bent his head and gently passed his tongue over one of the marks. Geet mewled pitifully. She was confused as hell. She tried pulling her arm away, but Maan tightened his hold around her arm and continued his ministrations. He felt the tremors running over her body and smiled.

"Geet  you remember there was one last thing I had added to the journal entry. It was today's date, but exactly five years ago."

She remembered. It had been dated to the day she had found the journal. A last entry.

Today I am at my tethers end, and I can't hold back any longer. I am coming for you Paarijat.  I know you are still very young and I should wait for you to spread your wings, but I am scared that if you fly away you may never look back at me.

Wait for me darling, I am coming!!

Her heart had screamed in protest when she had read the word Paarijat' Her mind picked that exact moment to throw her a clear picture of Maan and herself under the Paarijat tree and Maan calling "Shefali the Paarijat." She recalled that Dadi had said Shefali meant Paarijat and how Maan had smiled secretively as if he knew some deep secret that she was unaware of. He'd been right. She had been too busy spinning fairytales about herself and Maan to realize that he was not weaving dreams about her, but her sister.  The moment she had found the journal had been the day she had found out that she was not the Handa's natural daughter, but had in fact been adopted by them. She had run to Maan to be consoled by him, only to be confronted by the reality of the journal. In that one moment she had hated Shefali with a burning bitterness. Her parents, her Maan, nothing belonged to her. She had wanted to find Shefali and do something that would hurt her just as badly as she herself was hurting. Just then she had looked up and seen her own image reflected inside the mirror hanging on the wall and been scared stiff of the expression in her eyes. She adored Shefali, she was her kid sister for whom she could do absolutely anything in the world. She was not that stranger in the mirror. She would prove that though she was adopted she belonged with the Handas.

Just then Maan had entered the room and seen the open journal in her hand and a dull red had tinted his cheekbones.

"Paarijat" He'd whispered

A lone tear escaped the corner of Geet's eye.

"Don't worry Maan. I will make it right between you and your Paarijat. I am not a bad person Maan. I will prove myself to both of you."

With that she had walked out of there with determined steps and gone straight to Shefali. A Shefali who had been singing nothing but high praises of Maan these days. Maan had followed her in confusion, not sure what exactly was going on.

Geet had found her sister alone, in their house. She had walked up to her, hugged her and declared.

" Shefali you know the meaning of your name don't you?"

"Umm..yes Di, I believe it was you who told me. It means the Paarijat flower doesn't it? What of it?" Shefali had looked at her enquiringly.

"Maan is in love with Paarijat, I mean he is in love with you. No he is not just in love, he is completely crazy about you. You too have feelings for him, don't you? I have been hearing nothing but his name on your lips these days. I know you are young, infact, even Maan himself is aware of this situation. You don't have to take your relationship ahead officially right now, but you can give your consent to this relationship right now."

"OMG Di what are you talking about? Like wow!! Really!! I...I am not sure I want to marry anybody right now, though I am super happy that Maan loves me?" She had sounded excited and confused as hell.

"I...I  read it in his journal Shefali. He calls you Paarijat in it, instead of Shefali. How adorable is that."

"Di... umm... I am not sure I am his so called Paarijat. Since the day he has learnt the meaning of my name, he's never called me Shefali, but I became Shef to him."

" That is because he probably can't control his emotions when he thinks of you as  Paarijat, the flower he adores , but believe me he really, really adores you." Geet had continued huskily.

Just then Shefali looked behind Geet and gasped.

"Maan." She called out shyly.

Maan had ignored Shefali completely.

"You have no clue what you have done Geet. You destroyed me completely today. I will never forgive you." With that he walked away.

Geet had been completely devastated. She had hurt him unknowingly, when that was the last thing she wanted to do. She had been crushed when she realized how much of a damage she'd done to Maan's ego. She assumed that it was his male ego that had been wounded, coz she had gone ahead and shared a very private part of him. Even though Geet had only shared it with the woman he loved, he resented the exposure.

He had mostly stayed away from their home town from then on. He had moved out of the house despite his parents and grandparents protests and bought an apartment closer to the Khurana offices. Geet herself had left town to attend college in a different state and they saw each other in passing when she was home on holidays, but the relaxed days beneath the Paarijat tree with shared secrets and companionable silences were no more. And that was just one of the things that she missed about Maan.

Then exactly one year ago he had decided he wanted to expand his business internationally and had spent the whole year outside the country.

Shefali hardly ever talked about him and was close lipped about their relationship, if Geet tried to probe further. Geet assumed that it was Maan who did not want Shefali to share any of their relationship details with her.

She remembered the story about the Paarijat tree that Maan's dadi had shared with her. The tree was also known as the tree of sorrow'. The story was about a princess named Parijataka. Parijataka had fallen in love with the Sun God. However he had not reciprocated her feelings, due to which the princess had pined away, withered and died of a broken heart. From her ashes had risen the Paarijat tree with the pure blossoms and crimson centers. The tree which still can't bear the presence of the sun and blossoms after the sun sets and sheds its flowers like a sea of tears before the sun rises in the sky.

Geet felt just like the princess. She had cried endless tears in the darkness of the night over her own unattainable sun, her Maan. She knew he was not hers in any way, but in her heart and now here he was after so long, a fiery presence that was burning her with his words and actions.

"Geet." He called out now, drawing her attention back to him.

"Why did you not come to the airport to receive me with the rest of the family?"

"I...I assumed you would not want to see me." She had made an excuse about feeling unwell and stayed back. She had imagined that he would not want her there, especially in the presence of Shefali.

"You assumed? And why did you impose your assumption on me Geet? I was looking forward desperately to the reunion with my Paarijat along with the rest of the family."

"Was...was Shefali not there?"

"Did I say she wasn't there? She was very much there, happy and excited about the new life she is starting with Varun. You remember Varun? You delivered her love letter to him, instead of his brother. Looks like you delivered it to the right guy after all, even though the poor bas***d did not get to read that one." He grinned unrepentantly.

 "Va...Varun? Maan I..I am extremely sorry. I had no clue. She did not share any of this with me. Oh Maan!!! How did this happen?" Geet looked at him in shock and then with deep sympathy in her eyes.

 "You never ask the right questions Geet. I will not answer any of your questions until you ask me the correct one."

"I can talk to her Maan. I can get her to listen to me. I am sure he too is a passing fancy for her."

"Like I was Geet?"

"No Maan. It is just that you were not here and she was probably lonely. I am sure that if she spends time with you she will rediscover what a wonderful man you are and fall for you all over again."

"Am I really a wonderful man Geet? If it was you, would you fall for me all over again? And Geet, don't you ever get lonely?"

"We...we are not talking about me Maan." She shifted her gaze away from him.

"Why not Geet? I am tired of answering all your wrong questions. Let's come to the point. Before I came back I told my parents that I was getting married. The day you read my journal I was going to propose to Paarijat, however you interfered, screwed that up majorly and now I am left empty handed with nothing. You owe me a fiancee and an engagement Geet."

"But I...what can I do? You...you don't want me to talk to Shefali. What can I do then Maan? I will do anything for you, I promise."

"Think carefully before you make promises Geet."

"I don't have to think twice where you are concerned Maan. I will do it. Just ask me."

Maan took a deep breath and spoke out, "Then you take the place of my fiance. Get engaged to me."

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Part 2

Part 3

Part 4