There are days, when dragging oneself out of the bed becomes a mammoth task..when your body gives away to fatigue and your head throbs so hard that you can barely think straight..its one of those days for me..so please pardon me if there are errors..
And this one is dedicated to not just one person,but all my readers ..here on IF and on twitter..I wish I could reach out to each and every one of you and thank you all personally..but I guess that's not
possible...
So..happy reading!
CHAPTER 12
"Fahaad inn dono ko ho kya gaya hai? Ghar mei koi shor nahi hai,yeh dono ladd nahi rahe hai..kahi hum dono ka plan kaam toh nahi kar gaya...?"
"Lagta toh aisa hi hai dad..."
"pata hai Fahaad..tumhare nana kaha karte the ki...inn dono jaise logon ko ,ek saath door bhej diya jaye toh ya toh who ashiq banker wapaas aatein hai,ya fir dost.."
"Par dad ab masla yeh hai ki yeh dono dost hai ya fir aashiq yeh pata karna hoga..."
"Sahi kaha tumne Fahaad miyaan..ab yahi janch karna baaki hai.."
While the father son duo were out there conspirating and making plans to bring these two souls together, they were back to their bhaad'-their bedroom ,which now had more memories,than they would like...because these memories would wouldn't help her when she would leave..and the same memories would trouble him from letting her go...
The familiarity of the room and the fact that it offered her company on many a lonely nights,now choked her,for she knew that it was not long before this little oasis of hers would become someone else's ..after being snatched away from her...
Zain had asked her to freshen up..but he himself had not returned back yet. She wondered where he had gone off to at this hour of the night"well; she could always take a wild guess.
A bile rose up her throat and her gut clenched at the very thought of it..and she had no choice but to succumb to those feelings. 3 weeks with someone you don't love can be pretty stifling, no matter how much you pretend to enjoy your little sending off gift for her and go around the small town buying trinkets for the person you love in front of the one you have been compromising with.And if one didn't know that,then he should take a leaf from Mr.Zain Osman Abdullah's book- she thought bitterly.
But he was not completely wrong to do it..now was he? He had just sprinted out of the room to escape from the undesirable company of a woman with whom he had nothing more that the terms of his contractual marriage that had benefitted both of them...
She looked up at her reflection,her eyes were that of a dampened soil in the summer..there was nothing startling about her features..she didn't look like those girls who found their place in the glossy pages of the magazines...she was not as beautiful or even attractive as them..she was plain and simple...her mother's death and emotional turmoil had aged her ...the fire that was once alive in her eyes had dwindled after her death...her hair was matty...the freckles on her face a little bit more prominent..Why would someone like Zain even find her attractive when he could have his choice of girls...?
She climbed the bed..and pulled up the blanket..wrapping it around her body...The darkness swirled unrestrained around her curled frame on the bed,tendrils of inkling belak reminders of her solitude. She looked out into the night sky..they were painted in a similar fashion..just like her life..devoid of the starts that glittered in the darkness..It was nights like this that redefined her loneliness...
The thunderstorm was coming. They were growling..ominous dark clouds gathering above and looming over the city...and coiling around her soul like a serpent...evoking her soul to let out that heart-wrenching wail..
Naina nu pata hai
Naina di khata hai
Saanu kis gal di phir
Mildi sazaa hai
The ache of longing to be with Zain for the rest of her life,even when the idea sounded incredulous even in her thoughts, echoed through the walls of her lonely fort..through every single marrow of her bones. It was a chill wind, like the one blowing outside,that was trapped in the chambers of her heart. She never knew that loving someone could take over every fibre of one's being and wring one out like a wet sponge every day. It was a torment she was unprepared for.
Neend ud jaave, chain chhad jaave
Ishq di faqeeri jad lag jaave
Neend ud jaave, chain chhad jaave
Ishq di faqeeri jad lag jaave
Ae mann karda ae thagi thoriya
Ae mann karda ae seena zoriyan
Aine sikh laiyan dil diyan choriyan
Ae mann diyan ne kamzoriyan
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His heartache was like a wolf eating at his chest,tearing its way to his trembling heart. It threatened to devour him,eat him whole and leave nothing but scraps behind. But he refused to be the scraps she would leave . Zain Abdullah would rebuild himself and fight off the wolf,but right now he didn't know how. So he did his best to ignore the stupid emotion called love' which was a trap for the fools,when the only problem was that his concept of love has changed.
He boted up his computer and played his favourite game.but he found little appetite for it,just like he had little appetite he had for food or anything else. He wanted to be absorbed into the darkness of the night and go up to their room and cuddle up next to his wife,hold his world in his arms and embrace the blissful sleep. But he knew at the back of his mind that tonight and the nights to come sleep wouldn't keep him company.
Sitting alone in the cold ,dark, living room at the dead of the night,the light from the laptop screen was the only thing that illuminated his face. He looked at the pictures which he had taken during their trip to maheran.almost all the farmes captured her beauty...every single smile which had crept up on her face..unconsciously..every single frown...and every time her eyes twinkled in delight...every time the wind blew her hair...every time she was lost in her thoughts..
Mann mann ki sunta jaaye
Sunta nahin mann waalon ki
Mann hi mann mein banaye
Duniya ek khayaalon ki..
The windows rattled as the storm blew over the city and in the hollowness of the night,he carved the warmth of her body,to fill in the void of his heart..he wondered whether he would ever cross her mind..beneath the veneer of her non-chalance,he wondered whether there would ever be any place for him,whether she would even acknowledge him..even if as a mistake of her past..when he would make trips to Meerut ,just to look at her from afar...
"Zain...?"His heart leapt out of his chest when he heard his dad's voice nearing him in the darkness..
"Dad..aap yahaan..aap soye nahi ab tak..?"he didn't want to look into his eyes..glad that the darkness was providing him the much needed cover.
"Miyaan wahi sawaal toh maine aapse bhi pooch sakta hoon..."Osman looked at his son..
"Who...actuallyI couldn't fall asleep.."he said,wondering how long he would be able to keep up his fortress of lies. He needed some to share his burden,listen to his fears..chide him for the mistakes that he had made...berate him for belittling something like marriage and love...someone who wouldn't call him a wuss if he wanted to cry..someone who would assure him, that in love everything was possible...
"Kya aap sach mei Aaliya ko talaaq dena chahte hai..?" his words stilled him in that moment.
"Ha-an..."
"Toh aap raat mei so kyun nahi paa rahe he..aap dono jo chhate the wahi toh ho raha hai...,right?"
"Dad.its late..ab aap so jayiye...Shab Bakhair.."He was about to turn away..
"I'm not finished yet ,Zain.."
"Toh aap kya sunna chahte hai Dad..."
"Sach.."
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"Kaisa..Sacch...?"
"Ki aap uss bechari ko kyun talaaq dena chahte hai..woh jo iss parivaar mei beintehaa mohabbat layi..aap use hi aise tanha choddenge?
"Dad..maine aapko kahi baar..kaha hai.."
"so tell me once more..I don't think it's going to cost you a fortune Zain..You remember..you told me..that you both were incompatible..that you had made a mistake by marrying her..Maine socha tha..ki aap..?"
"Main kya Dad?Nikaah kiya tha mom se pecha churane ke liye.Hell,I never even believed i love before...Aaliya..Pyaar karta hoon use..yahi sach sunna chahte the na aap...?Har roz Mom shaadi ke bare mei kehti gayi..tang aa chaka tha main..I had lost all my faith on relationships after Samaira..usne bhi kaha tha..Zain I love you..but then she left, didn't she...taking away the little faith I had in love along with her...I was ready to give her everything..but she always wanted more..didn't she? She wanted more of everything...that is why I found her with her ex..didn't I?I was just a rebound for her..a second for someone..she made me believe that I was and never would be worthy of someone's love...that I didn't have what it took to be someone's first and last...yh sab kuch janne ke baad bhi Mom mujhse force karti gayi...
Pata hai..ki maine jo kuhc bhi kiya who galat tha..aur humesha rahega...
But she needed the money...and I needed her help..and that is why we struck a deal..at the end of which we would get what we wanted..We decided to get married and she would play the part of a wife who was nothing more than a gold-digger..someone who would show mom every day how incompatible I was...she would be here for 6 months to prove that whatever Samaira had said..was true after all...Main bauhat bura hoon Dad..bauhat zaili hona para use..mere wajah se..bauhat jillat sehni padi..but I love her..Dad. jab Aliya muje apni Ammi se milwane le gayi,tab unhone mujhse wada karwaya..ki main Aaliya ko humesha khush rakhunga..main unse kiya hua wada nahi rakh paya...Pata hia unn dono ko laga ki main ghar waapas chala gaya..par main toh room ke bahar khada tha...I overheard her describing her dream man to her rmother...Dad..woh mujhe pyaar nahi karti..because I don't deserve it Dad...and am not her dream man...I'm a disappointment..I'm a loner and I deserve it..Woh yahan se..hum sab se door chali jana chahti hai..uss ghootan hoti hai yahan..mere paas use talaaq dene ke siva siva aur koi option nahi hai... mere taraf se uske liye,uski azadi e hogi uski akhri taufa..I know ki aap aur mom mujhe kabhi maaf nahi kar payenge..karna bhi nahi chahiye..i won't even be able to forgive myself dad..I was so stupid ..so impulsive..so so stupid!"
"Itne saalo mei maine aap par kabhi haath nahi uthaya hai..ishliye shayad aaj bhi nahi utha paya..par aapne mere dil ko..bauhat dukh pauchaya hai Zain...apr pata hai maine par haath kyun nahi utha paya..?"
"Dad""
"because I have failed as a dad Zain..."
"Dad..I'm sorry..."
"Zain I may not be able to forgive you..par har sajde mei Allah se aapke liye yahi dua mangunga ki who aapko shai raasta dikhaye..aur aapse ek baat zaroor kehna chahta hoon ki aapko Aaliya jaisi ladki kabhi nahi milegi.."he was about to walk away..
"Dad..Aaliya Meerut chali jayegi..."
"Rok lo use Zain..before it's too late.."
"dad agar aap mere jagah hote toh aap kya karte..?"
"Pata karta ki who mujhse pyaar karti hai ya nahin..."
Paas koi aave, door koi jaave
Hota hai kyun ye, koi samjhaave
Neend ud jaave, chain chhad jaave
Ishq di faqeeri jad lag jaave
Ae mann karda ae thagi thoriya
Ae mann karda ae seena zoriyan
Aine sikh laiyan dil diyan choriyan
Ae mann diyan ne kamzoriyan
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I know there was very little ZaYa in this chapter..but this father-son scene was needed...keep your seatbelts on because mission izhaar-e-ishq is on !
From
Ann
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