SS; FOR HER OWN GOOD part 4 (last part) PAGE 9 - Page 4

SS; HER OWN GOOD PART 3

Ishita knew it was now or never and she had to make him see reason that this divorce was a stupid idea and she was not going to let it happen. She understood that that hard exterior was just a show off for people to back off but she saw right through it. She meant more to him than he led on and he was going to admit it today no matter what. With tears in her eyes she asked

'Why are you divorcing me Raman? Is it because if the bar ... Bachelors party that ...''

'ISHITA'' Raman roared.

Ishita got startled a little bit. She had never seen him that angry before but she had to ride her luck

'What else do you expect ...''

'DON'T YOU DARE'' He strode straight to her grabbed her hand and took her back to the bedroom.

'Let me go Let me go'' she answered

He pushed her in the bedroom and locked the door then he told her

'How can you think like that? Is that how little you think of me? How can you even ... I can not believe that you ... I am so angry I just want to ' and with that he broke down.

Raman could not believe it when he heard her. How could she think that way? She meant the world to him and only he understood how much it took to stay calm and not go and murder those bas***ds. He remembered the state he found her in and the way she was so shaken and scared. He was helpless and could not hold it in anymore and he just let it go.

Ishita had seen Raman at his most vulnerable but never like this. She watched as he slumped down on the bed with his hand on his face like he was a defeated man. He looked like a shadow of a man she knew. She watched as she heard faint sobs from him and she knew she probably hit a nerve she should not have.

' Ishita I have failed you. As your Husband it is my job to protect you and I have failed to do that. I have never been a good husband to you.'' He finally spoke

' What? Raman are you ...?''

'No it's true. I am the reason for your pain and your tears. Every single time I seem to be the reason for your pain. If it was not because of me the bar ... bar ... bachelor party incident would never have happened. You're right about one thing I am a coward because I could not protect you from all of them.  I just want you to be happy.'' He said

'Raman how is divorcing me going to keep me happy?'' she asked him

' I thought that maybe if I let you go. You would find someone who does not have so much baggage, someone who will not hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. My past caught up with me and you are the one suffering because of it. You do not deserve it. You're so good and kind hearted that you will just take it without complaining because you care about others more than yourself but I cannot see you like that. I don't want to change my mind and let you stay here and hurt you more than I already have. I watched those ba****rds laugh while you cried in my arms and it tore me up inside. I felt worthless and useless ... I just can't ... you have to go''

 He finally looked at her and she had a soft smile in her lips which was bizarre because her eyes we full of pain and worry. It took everything in him not to take her into his arms.

'Is this what you want? Because you leaving me is never going to make me happy not now not in some time, never. This is a marriage Raman we deal with it together. We go through it all together. Not only when it is going well but ESPECIALLY when it is bad. It is very difficult right now, believe me I know, but we have been through worse and we have survived it. I get strength from the fact I have you. I love you and I am never going to be ashamed of it. ' Ishita answered

She walked over to where he was seated and took his hand in hers. She looked into his eyes and saw the inner turmoil in his darkened eyes. She knew what she needed, what they needed. Her sense of right or wrong was no longer making any sense because he was in pain and therefore so was she and nothing seemed to matter anymore. It broke her heart to see him that way. She wished she could make him understand how much he meant to her and how much his thinking was so wrong.

 'I need you to understand one thing about me Raman. I am a very selfish woman and everything I do is entirely for MY HAPPINESS. My happiness is where you and Ruhi are. If any of you are unhappy then I am unhappy and that is not okay. This selfish trait of mine will not allow me to be unhappy so I do everything in my power to make sure you two are happy as that is the only way I will be happy. So if it means a few tears here and there then it is okay because it is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. So if this divorce is what is going to please you then okay. Your wish is my command. I will grant you what you want.''

Ishita lifted herself up still holding both his hands in hers and gave a soft peck on his cheek. She walked over from the bed to the window which always seemed to be a comfortable solace for her whenever things were bad between them.

Raman was completely taken by surprise not sure how he was supposed to act in this situation. He did love the feel of her lips on his cheek. It gave him a sense of calm that he did not expect and before he even had a chance to react, in a crushed and dejected voice she asked

'Did I really ever have a chance? If everything was different would you have loved me like you loved Shagun?

'Wha ... What do you mean?'' he asked a bit confused

'You really loved her I can tell because of the level at which you hate her. You only hate someone as much as you love them. She screwed it up for the rest of us. I can only wish I meant you before she did. I would have loved you the way you deserved.''

He did not expect her to say something like that. She seemed so hurt but like always she was trying to hide her pain. He could hear soft sobs she was trying to hide and he just could not help but wonder if she was okay.