Manwa lage - Ishra OS

They were told about Adi calling and complaining against Ishita. Raman tried to knock some sense into his son. But everything proved futile for he was hell bent sending his step mother to jail faking tears.

As per procedure, Ishita waa taken while Raman assured her that they are following in car and nothing would happen. Giving a ruhi promise to his crying daughter that he will bring her ishima back, he and mihir left for police station.

Neel was there by the time police reached. "Raman kumar Bhalla ki biwi hai. Jail ke andar jaane ki naubat nhi aayegi. Here are the bail papers." He threw them on his face. It took them another hour to clear some formalities and complete papers. Whole time, Ishita was quite. Silent like a statue. Raman kept holding her hand. He tried to talk to her but got no response. 

- Are you ok Ishita?

He said as they came outside towards the parking.

-Hmmm

She mumbled.

He stopped, held her hand tightly and then turned her towards himself.

-M sorry Ishita.

He spoke softly. She looked into his eyes with her blank ones. Tears had welled up and he had lowered his gaze due to guilt.

-No need to be Raman.

She said wiping her tears.

-It all happened because of me.

-No Raman. You are not to be blamed.

-I am the only one to be blamed Ishita. Everything wrong in your life happens because of me.

-Raman??

-I or the people related to me are the reason of your hurt always. You have to suffer and the reason is me.

-You and people related to you are reason of my happiness also Raman.

He looked at her. She was trying to calm him when she was the one who sufferred. Why is this woman so selfless? He wondered.

-Ishita...Adi...Vo..

-He is a kid Raman. Bacha hai. But a spoilt kid. Kuch to krna hogaa.

-Matlab??

-Pta nhi. But he needs to learn a lot.

She said and then started walking again while he followed.

-By the way. Its not your fault Mr. Bhalla. So you need not be sorry. Beta aapka hai but parvarish to Shagun ki hai naa. I can understand.

She said and that brought a slight smile on his face. He was hell worried how she would react to this. If he will have to listen taunts from her. But here she was..understanding everything.

-Ishita...why were you so quite then? I thought you are angry.

-Angry..yess angry on you. How rude you are. They all were doing their jobs naa. Peon se lekr inspector tkk, mihir, neel sab ko bss sunaye jaa rhe the. Vo to mujhe aapki ijjat ki fikar thi. Isliye sbbke samne kuch bola nhi aapko. 

She smiled teasing him.

-You mean ki tumhe iss baat ki tension nhi thi ki tumhe saari raat jail me bitani pdd skti thi. And tum mujhe man hi man me galliyan dene me bsy thi.

He mocked back.

-Nahi..mujhe koi tension nhi thi. Kyuki mujhe pta tha ki aap ho. Mujhe yahaan nhi rehne doge. Mujhe to bss un becharon pr taras aa rha tha jinhe aapke tantrums jhelne pde.

She giggled this time. Raman joined in her laughter but then asked with a serious expression. "Itna trust krti ho mujhpr?" 

She looked at him. His dark brown eyes searching for an answer in her. "Haan" she nodded.

"And what if I would have not come. Have been by my son?"

"Not possible. Kyuki ab aap vo Raman nhi rhe jo apne bete ki zidd ke liye apni wife se sorry bulwayenge. Aur naa hi vo raman jo mujhse apne bete ki galtiyan chupaynge. I trust you Raman."

Raman felt like he was in a new world. This felt like a totally new Ishita to him. He remembered how she had preffered to call Bala when she was stuck last time and even on asking, she had not found it necessary to share her problem on personal level with him. But today, she was so much secured that she didnt even ask once if she would be safe. As if she knew, he wont let her go. Obvsly he couldn't. He thought to himself.

"Ishita..tum mujhe pehle kyu nhi mil gyi yrr.." he couldn't help but ask. His voice was genuine. She laughed at it. "Kyu? Jkr ke saath ladayi krne me jyada mzaa ane lga hai?" She chukled. But he was serious.

"Agar tum pehle hoti to ye sab kbhi nhi hota. Adi or Ruhi...hmare bachche hote or yeh problem kbhi aati hi nhi. Life would have been so perfect." He seriously wished he could do something. A smile crept up on Ishita's lips. Seriously Life would have been beautiful. Raman Ishita...and their children. Kaash Raman meri zindagi me pehle aye hote.

It was then the reality hit her. What she was and why they were together? She was a barren rejected woman. That was the reason why many left her and he agreed to marry her. He wanted his daughter's custody and she wanted to be called mother. She remembered the deal they made in the coffee shop before marriage and how on the very first night, they knew they were not meant to be together.

Tears welled up in her eyes. What was she doing. Raman's words of Adi Ruhi being their children hit her. How can it be possible. Wasn't this the reason that she was forbidden to have a happy life. Thankfully, Raman already has children. She thought. And then last night incidents passed through her mind. She remembered the decision she made in the morning about talking it out tonight. She remembered their dance and then sweet convo during sangeet.

No...it would be a cheating. She cant say those words to him. It would be wrong. It would be a trap. The kind of person he is, he will surely accept her if she confesses her love to him and would never say anything. But he has the right. He has the right to be happy. He has the right to become father. And she cant give that to him. 

She glanced a look at him. He was opening the lock of car and gesturing her to sit. She sat. As the car started, her thoughts again wandered to the condom packet last night. She left out a sigh. That was something which he will never have to use. Not with me atleast. Did he ever realized that? She thought. And what it will be when he actually realizes. She is not a kid now. She knows jab naya naya pyaar hota hai to sab acha lgta hai but when hardships of life come forward then relations suffer. And she would never be able to satisfy Raman. No...I wont say that again to Raman. There is no love Ishita. Sab kuch ese hi thik hai. Jo Raman ko chahiye vo me unhe de hi nhi sakti. With such thoughts in her mind, she fell into a slumber.

Raman casted a look at the innocent form of her sleeping wife. He couldn't thank his stars enough for sending her to him. He remembered their silly nok jhoks, their hate, their love everything they had ever shared. He smiled thinking about what she was going to speak today. Kuch bhi ho jaye JKR..aaj to tumhare mooh se sunkr hi rhunga wat you feel about me. Its high time ki vo party vali aadhi baat poori ho jaye.

As they reached home, he waked her up. It took Ishita a complete hour to console the crying ladies and worried gents of house. Finally, Ravan Kumar came to her help by ordering everyone to let her be. She needs rest.

Raman got an important phone call from a foreign client which kept him busy for half an hour. When he entered his room, he saw her standing by the window with her back to him and arms crossed. He smiled. Latching the door behind, he tiptoed and hugged her from behind. His arms across her waist while his chin rested on her shoulder.

Her heart skipped a beat at his touch. Shivers ran down her spine and her lips curled into a slight smile. She was not accustomed to such intimate moments with her husband and wondered what made him do so. But the sad reality again hit her and she knew she couldn't respond or perhaps she should not.

"Soyi nahi? Mera wait krr rhi thi?" She heard him whisper into her ears.

"Nhi vo..vese hi." She replied and tried to get free off his hold. But his strong arms were wrapped around her like forever. "Raman...yeh aap." She pointed to their positions and tried to sound uncomfortable. "Kyu? Pati hun tumhara. Pakad nhi sakta?" His voice was husky. She decided to let it be and stopped struggling. He smiled at it.

"Vese..pati hone ke nate or bhi bhot kuch krr skta hun. Or tum naa bhi nhi krr payogi." He said teasing her. She closed her eyes as a tear or two rolled her cheeks. "Me to kuch bhi nhi krr payungi Raman." The words at once escaped her lips.

Raman felt her words mixed with hurt and maybe a cry. He got worried. "Arre dont wrry Jkr...kuch nhi krne vala me. I was just joking." He tried to soothe her. "Joke or reality? Who cares. Truth is i cant do anything." She managed to speak lost in her own world.

Her words confused him more. What was she saying? He looked at her. Her eyes were fixed to an imaginary star in the sky. He wondered if she herself knew what she was speaking. There is surely some tension. "Ishita.." he called her. No reply. "Ishita" this time he shook her shoulders.

"Haan..." her trance broke at once. "Ye kya bol rhi ho?" He asked. "Kyaa?" She asked back. "Tumhe khud nhi pta ki tum kya bol rhi ho?" He smirked. She lowered her head. "Vo main...bss stars ko..kuch nhi." She spoke and then started moving towards the bed. "Neend aa rhi hai. Am so tired. So jaate hain." He grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "Thori der ruko naa Ishita." He said in a loving tone. Ishita closed her eyes. She didnt have the heart to say no to Raman. But she couldn't go weak. If she talked to him now, she will not be able to backout.

"Raman please." She spoke. He neared her as his hands travelled from her hands to shoulders through her arms making her shiver. He deliberately tried to make his touch demanding. A moan escaped her lips. "Raman.." This charged him more and he burried his head in the crook of her neck kissing her there. She gasped at his intimate actions. His hands went to her bare waist through her saree. Her hands automatically encircled around his neck.

"You didn't complete the talk you started in party today." He said as he encircled his arms around her neck. Their faces inches apart. His closeness was having much effect on him. "Nothing..it was not important." She avoided the topic. 

His smile faded and she could see his eyes getting saddened. "Ishita...tum ab bhi naraaz ho. Yaar vo Adi to..." she at once stopped him by placing a finger on his lips. "Nahi Raman...me aapse naraaz nhi hun." She spoke.

"To fir kya baat hai. Itni preshaan kyu hun? Jabse aye hain tabse dekh rha hun. You are not yourself Ishita." He asked. She lowered her head and then avoided his talk. "Aisa kuch nhi hai Raman." 

"Thik hai tumhari marzi." He said with an annoyance. "Mat batao." He released her from his hold. She silently went towards her side of bed and taking the quilt, closed her eyes, giving him an impression of sleeping.

He followed the suite after switching off the lights of the room. The night turned out to be sleepless for him. He had imagined so much for them today. But all turned out opposite. Something was bothering her. He knew. But wat can it be? How will he come to know. "Maybe you are not ready Ishita. But I will surely wait for you. Wait..till my lifetime." He told her sleeping form. She heard and a lone tear escaped her eyes as her patience dreaded to end.

It was during midnight when he was tossing in his bed that he heard some sobs from her side. In an impulse, he shifted to her side and palced his hand on her shoulder. "Ishita...Ishita...kya hua hai? What happened? Ro kyu rhi ho?" He asked worried.

She turned to his side and hugged him. Tears started flowing through her eyes as she made her hold tighter on him. He hugged her back consoling her. Her behavior was confusing him.

"Raman..." she spoke. "Bolo Ishita..kya hua tumhe? Rona band kro." He patted her back. "I am sorry Raman." She said crying. "Sorry? Kis liye?" He asked. "Me aapko kabhi khush nhi krr skti." She spoke.

"Tum aisa kyu soch rhi ho Ishita?" He was bewildered.

-Aapki khushiyon ka me khayal rakhna chahitu hun. But me...me kaise karun? 

-Ishita..me to khush hi hun naa. Hum khush hain. Mujhe kuch samajh nhi aa rha. Wat do you mean?

-Aaj apne jo kaha. Police station mein. I mean hum dono...pehle...hmare bchche. Me vo sab aapko aaj bhi nhi de skti.

She said sobbing.

Realization struck him. That was the reason she was feeling guilty. Thats why she was so silent. He felt like shouting at her for keeping such thoughts in her mind.

"Ishita? Do you think ki mujhe tumse yahi sab chahiye? I mean agar maine kbhi aisa socha hota to why would I marry you in first place?" 

"But Raman...fir bhi. Hum...I mean...kll...kll raat ko jo bhi hua. Yahan...vo...cond..condom and all that. Vo sab..sab bekar hai. Hamari shadi contract thi..out of majboori. But..agar...agar aapko pyar krne ka mauka mile to bache...bache to har..har relation me chahiye hi hote hain naa."

She was continuosly crying. Her breaths became heavy and she could hardly speak.

"Ishita...tumhe aisa kyu laga. I know our marriage was of convenience. But now I love you. And I just want love from you. Nothing else." He spoke at once.

She moved backwards and looked at him.

"Yes Ishita. I love you. I wanted to say it and listen from you since morning. But I never knew you have such insecurities in your mind." 

"Raman...I...I..."

"Dont you trust me Ishita? Ruhi is our daughter. And I dont want anything but you. And believe me, if I had been the first in your life, I would have never left you. We would have been together even if there was no third one with us."

"Really Raman?" She hugged him tightly. "Can you really accept me with this fault of mine?"

"This is not a fault Ishita. Its just destiny. I and even you know you are the best mother in this world. And what is there to accept? I am not signing some deal with you. I love you my jhansi ki rani and love is beyond all this. Beyond any conditions or flaws. Love is between two hearts, two souls who unite to be one. Reproduction is a law of nature so that life must go on. But it doesn't mean love or love making is just about this." His words soothed her. She knew, no matter what. Her Raman will be with her always. Even if she cant give that one happiness to him, he would stand by her side.

She hugged him. "Thank you so much Raman for coming to my life and making it more beautiful. I love you too." Was all she said when she found his lips on hers. She smiled through the kiss as he shed all his pent up desires for her in that one soul bearing kiss.

She too was desired by someone...that too by her husband, by her love. The thought made her feel special. She could br the reason of satisfying someone's love. She blushed hard at it.

The moon peeped in through the window to see two souls becoming one in the small light. It felt like they were glued together forever and were unseperable for the remaining part of their life.