Karnandavas os-kahani mei twist-LAST part updtd pg 11 - Page 5

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anshikashaheer thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#41
Omg...!!!*🤣i just LOVED all of ur amazing updates till now!*🤗u write soo beautifully yaar!😉❤️*hands down👏👏❤️just LOVE all ur KaJu sceness😳☺️❤️and bheem and karna making suji ka halwa😲 together🤣oh gosh sooo hilarious🤣😆and all his brothers spying on him is epic!!!!!!!*😆that was fabulous😉❤️🤣god i cant stop laughing😆..wat an outstanding relationship shown between these 6 brotherss😳❤️soo much love between dem..😳aww soo touching re!*😃😛pls do continue soon❤️
Brahmaputra thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#42
Let me tell this is a wonderful fiction you're writing. I've completed all parts in one stretch. What people seek throughout their life is the element of happiness. I can feel the sweet element of happiness in your simple, cute story. It is one of a kind that made me smile throughout reading. I really loved it very much...

How come there are aloo paratha in Dwaapara yuga?
Also how did Vrushaali say "wo humare mohalle mei ek pooja ka aayojan kiya hai".
Both aloo paratha and mohalla made me laugh a lot!😆

Keep writing...👍🏼
nuckts thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#43
part 5:
draupadi-kiski kaha jaane ki tayari ho rahi hai?
now all 4 are caught
bhee-wo kya hai na panchali ki jyeshth ko prem ho gaya hai
drau-accha kisse?(happily)
arj-ek sutkanya hai
drau-unka naam?
sah-vrushali
nakul-kintu tum khush kaise ho? tumhe to yaha ek bhi vivaahit stri nahi chahiye na?
drau-mujhe aap logo ki patni ke roop mei koi vivaahit stri nahi chaiye parantu jyeshth bhrata ki patni se mujhe koi aapatti nahi hai
waise bhi yaha mere hum umra ki koi stri nahi hai mai ubb jaati hu
kintu aarya putro aapne mujse itni badi baat chupai jyeshth ke baare mei ahahaaah(she cries like when arjun wins her in swayamvar n they got the the cottage that baby type cry)
bhee-panchali shant ho jao hum chahte hai ki jyeshth ka vivah jald se jald ho isilie yeh sab kar rahe the
drau-mere paas ek upay hai
sah-kya?
and they discuss something in silent
pandavas-waah panchali accha upay hai!
next day:
karna goes to nadi tat again waiting for vrushali
vrushali doesn't come this time
karna then goes to vrushali's house
and sees she is chatting with her friends
all her friends then turn towards him
friends-pranipaat rajkumar
kar-pranipaat
vrushali tries to avoid him
but then she says very formally-pranipaat
kar-pranipaat and then looks towards her friends and says vrushali mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai nadi tat par aaogi
vru-ji kya aapko mujhe kuch shreshth kaam tha?
kar-nahi par kya hua?tum aao phir batata hu
vrushali was very hesitant today,this was not that vrushali whom karna adored
vru-ji chaliye rajkumar
they meet on nadi tat
kar-yeh lo maine tumhare liye pehli baar apne haatho se suji ka halwa banaya hai
vru-ji and she eats it hmm bahut swadishth hai
kar-kya baat hai aaj tumhara yeh mukh itna utra hua sa kyu hai?
vru-dekhiye rajkumar mujhe ghuma firaakar baat karne ki aadat hai to nahi kintu hum dono aaj ke baad iss tarah nadi tat par nahi mil sakte,waise bhi hum yaha itefaaq se milte the,kabhi mera yaha paani mei doobna
to kabhi pooja ke liye paani lene aana
aur aap to yaha roz surya prathna ke liye aata hai to humara milna zaroori nahi hai
karna was deeply hurt today
kar-par agar mil lenge to kya ho jaega?
vru-ji kintu hum dono ke vishaya mei ab log baate karne lage hai,aap to purush hai rajkumar hai aap to samaajh ke niyamo se mukt ho jaenge
kintu mai ek stri hu samajh stri ko kabhi nahi bakshta log to yahi sochenge ki rajkumar ko ek sutkanya ne fasaya hai,mere maata pita ne mujhse
kaha hai ki aapko ab se mai na millu aur waise bhi jis rishte ka koi bhavishya nahi hota wo rishta rakhke koi labh nahi ulta wo rishta dard hi deta hai
karna now gets what she is trying to say
vru-mujhe ab chalna chahiye
kar-aaj mai samjha ki tumhari dua kitni asardaar hai ki usne panchali ke swayamvar mei mere saamarth ko siddh karne se bhi parajit kar diya
vru-matlab?
kar- agar aap kisi ko prem kare aur wo aapse na kare to samajh lena chahiye ki ye prakruti ka ishara hai yeh batane ke liye aapko kissi
aur ne apni dua mei maang lia hai,aur uss insaan ki dua mei aapki dua se zyaada taakat hai
aur tumhari dua ishwar shayad kabul karna chahte hai
then he takes a deep breath
kar-mujhe tumse prem hai vrushali
vrushali is shocked now
vru-yeh aap kaisi baat kar rahe?dekhiye aap ek rajkumar hai,aap ek sutkanya se prem nahi aisa nahi ho sakta
and then he moves forward and she steps back and finally he pins her against a rock which is near the river☺️❤️
kar-to phir kyu tumhare liye aaj maine pehli baar rasoi mei kuch banaya?
to phir kyu mai tumhare saath uss pooja mei gaya jaha mere rehne yah na rehne se koi farak nahi padta hai?
to phir kyu ek rajkumar ek sut kanya ke saath raat ko ladoo khane baitha hai?
to phir kyu ek rajkumar ek sutkanya ka badbadaana itne dhyan se sunna pasand karta hai?
mere jeevan mei jo khamoshi hai usse kyu tumhari hi awaaz pura karti hai,
kyu jab rajniti ki uss banawati duniya mei khudko paata hu to tumhara khayal aata hai ki koi hai jo mujse sacchi baatein bina kissi banaavat ke kar sakta hai?
jawaab do vrushali
and then they have a long eyelock😳
vrushali then breaks that eyelock
and says-in prashano ka koi uttar nahi hai mere pass,mujhe jaane di jiye
and she leaves
now a surprise:
this all scene is seen by pandavas along with panchali
i know shocking na?
panchali so wanted to see them together and so she accompanied pandavas this time
panchli-arre waah kitne pyaare lagte hai dono ek saath?
naku-mujhe nahi pata tha ki jyeshth bhrata itne rasik hai?
arj-sachme yeh roop maine unka kabhi nahi dekha hai
bhee-to yeh roop koi bhaiyo ko thodi dikhata hai kya?
sah-ab samay aa gaya hai bhrata
pandavas agree
vrushali is going now
all pandavas are disguised as some goons
bhee- ohho iss kanya ko to dekho kitni sundar hai na?
naku-ha kissi sundri se kam nahi hai yeh
arju-kyu na hum iska apharan kar le?
vru-dekho tum log pralap karna band karo mujhe jaane do
sahdev-arre aise kaise jaane denge itne dino tak chup chup kar rajkumar se milne aa sakti ho to humse milne mei kya aapatti hai?
and with this he blocks her way
arjun thinks -ab yeh awashya jyeshth ko bulaengi
but on the contrary she takes off her bangles and BANG throws it on sahadev's face and runs
saha-aah
arju-nakul tum thik to ho?
sah-honewaali bhabhishree ka nishana bahut accha hai aahh..😆😉
and the other 3 follow her now
bhee-arre sundri kaha chali?
arju-ab tum humse bachke kaha jaaogi?
naku-chal humare saath
but this time she picks a stone and throws it on nakul's forehead and runs again
naku-abb mai sahdev ka dard samjh sakta hu 🤢
bhee-bhabhishree ke bhujao mei to bahut bal hai😕
arj-sirf bhujao mei hi nahi nishane pe bhi,unhe pata hai ki unka nishana vishesh accha nahi hai parantu waqti musibat ko sambhaalne jitna awashya hai😲
now bheem n arjun follow her
bh-aare kaha chali?waah tumhare bhujao mei to bahut bal hai
arj-parantu ab kya karogi,yaha na koi patthar hai aur na hi tumhare paas ek bhi aabhushan
she pretends to fall now, which is understood by both of them but before they could understand her next step
SWOOSH!!!!👏
she has thrown lot of dust in their eyes and run again
arju-hey bhagwaan bhabhishree to bahut tez hai
bhee-ha muje laga tha ki akhade mei sirf mai hi shatruo ko dhool chatwa sakta hoo par inhhone to humari aaankho mei hi dhul jhok di
now sahadev and nakul too join them
arju-chalo hum paanch firse mil gaye
voice-panch nahi cheh!😡
they look its karna from behind
kar-tum log kya kar rahe the yaha pe?maine sab dekha aur yeh kya bhes banakar rakha hai
arj-jyesth hum koi adharma nahi kar rahe the kintu wo ..
kar-mujhe pata hai ki tum sab kabhi adharma nahi kar sakte kintu yeh natak karne koi awashakta nahi thi
tum logone kya yeh sabkuch mamashree shakuni se sikha hai?🤣
draupadi-nahi maine kaha inhe yeh sab karne ke liye
kar-choti tum! to tumne racha the yeh sab kuch😲
drau-ji haa mai chahti thi ki jiji ko bhi yeh pata chale ki wo bhi aapke bina nahi reh sakti aapko unhe yeh ehsaas dilana hoga bhratashree😃
and she requests him to continue with that😃
with lot of arguing he finally agrees
this time again all 4 of them reach till vrushali(logic mat lagao ki itni der mei to wo pacuh chuki hogi,fily story hai,feel by heart,don't use brains lolz)
naku-kyu?bahut patthar fek liye,dhul jhok di
sah-aur ghehne fek diye
arj-ab tumhe koi nahi bacha sakta
bhee-hihiahaha haaah ha
vrushali-bacaho,koi hai bachao mujhe!!!!!!!!!!
karna then comes on his horse
kar-sochna bhi mat vrushali ko sparsh karne ki
nak-kyu na soche?
arj-aap rokenge humme rajkumar?
kar-ha vrushali tak pauchne ke liye tumhe meri laash par se guzarna hoga
and then the fight starts where they are beating very slowly and vrushali gets confused
vru-aare rajkumar zor se maariye na
naku-whispering bhrata jyada zor se mat maariyega,bhes bahar aa jaaega
kar-thik hai
and after a lot of melodramatic fake fight,they all leave acting to be scared
arju-humme kshama kar dijiye hum jaate hai and while going he winks at karna😉
and karna too winks at arjun😉
kar-tum thik to ho na?
vru-ji ha
kar-chalo mai tumhe ghar chod deta hu
vru-suniye mai kshama mangti hu
kar-koi baat nahi chalo
vru-mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai
kar-mujhe kuch nahi sunna hai chalo abhi yaha se rajkumar ka kartavya hota hai apni praja ki suraksha karna
vru-kintu AARYA meri baat to suniye😭
kar-kya kaha tumne AARYA?😉
vru-ji wo ha mai bhi aapse prem karti hu with this she closes her eyes and confesses that😭😳
now all this is seen by the evil shakuni who had come for hunting😲
precap:
shakuni to kunti-wo ek sutkanya hai rajmaata
eheheh..kaisa bhagya hai aapka mujhe to taras aata hai
ek bahu wo jo paanch purusho se vivah karti hai aur dusri wo jo ek sutkanya hai
lagta hai aapke putro ne apna dharma tyaag diya hai..eheheh..
karna-iss baar mamashree ne apni had paar ki hai,choti ke baare mei itna apshabd,
arjun-aur hone waali bhabhishree ke liye aisi baat
KaJu-humme kuch karna hi hoga
shakuni is tied on a board now with his hands cuffed with 2 arrows on each hand
kar-arjun mujhe tum apna parakram dikhao na kya ispe aag barsa sakte ho?😉
arju-awashya jyeshth aur kya aap inhe burf se jama sakte ho?😉
kar-awashya😉
and they laugh now-ehehehehe... and close their one one eye😉
shakuni-mere bachee...😆
P.S.-thanks shavii for giving me this idea of showing pandavas as goons 😆
i just hope people like this thing as its just for fun
i wanted to show how the person who is new in their family is also forming a bond with them,how these changes are making them one and naughty too😉😆
always felt that pandavas should have atleast some fun in their life so created this light hearted story
hope pandavas fan do not misunderstand me😊






Edited by nuckts - 10 years ago
nuckts thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#44
after writing i have realized that it was not only about KaJu but also karna's relation with other pandavas and draupadi too
so please do read and comment whatever you feel about this os
and ya for taking revenge from mamashree i need some suggestions from all of you
and if you include madhav's naughtiness for this deed its cherry on the cake then
maybe next update will be last or second last as its a short story it can't go for on and on
also i don't want to disappoint you guys if due to my hectic schedule i am unable to complete
so thought of keeping it short and sweet 😊
Madhura.. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#45
Nikhita...finally..u upd. Brilliantly written..just wow..loved the plan and confession. mamashree..karna arjun..wow.
Mayb for fun they both continue arrow skills..and include yuddishtir too in it..or later plans.
Love bonding of six pandavas.
...Hemangi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#46
Wow... Karna-Vrushali Confession was sweet 😳.
Loved the filmy style teasing of the Pandavas towards their would-be-'Daring bhabishree'..😆

LOL

Shakuni tries another Prapanch and mess up Pandavas ❤️ life 🤢 but sadly it backfires 😭 and he ended up being a guinea pig to KaJu's brotherly spardha... 😆😆😆. I wonder how his favourite bachche (Dury) will come to his aid now...😆😆.

Yes would love to see some Madhav's naughtiness here too.

Do update soon...
shavii thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#47
awesome funny part😆
bechare oandav sab ko tumne , made them get beating from elder brata 😆

vrishali was fun

sab ko mardiya😆😆😆

meine sirf idea diya u made it others😆

now it will be funny when shakuni mama get punished

it shd be like brothers giving ideas to karn and arjun to keep competition of bow and arrow of who being better😆😆 and winking to each others so that mamashri ko punish kar sake😆😆 one freezing and one firing😆😆 one making rain one making heavy sun.. shakuni mama ka band baj jayega...😆😆 beech beech mein nakul and sahdev checking hoep shakuni is fine and making them saying inspite of all attack mama shri is fine so both have to work hard on competition😆

and when mamashri tries to call mere bachhe bheem throw laddo inside mamashri mouth 😆 to make him shut but says mamashri have laddo and be healthy 😆😆 all brothers have fun...
something like that

oh god soo weird ideas 😆
bring madhav to judge the sparda😆😆 bring subhi also... 😉
continue soon

Edited by shavii - 10 years ago
nuckts thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: Madhura..

I agree, me too, thats true, imagination helps there/

hey sorry for late reply😊
i know they are just so wonderful especially when one sees the shows and feels what changes can be done and then express in writing
nuckts thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#49

Originally posted by: kalyani_shiva

So funny, suji ka halwa and Bheem pulling leg of his jyesth bhrata kehke ki suji toh sabzi hain... I am still laughing 🤣

🤣 i know bheem is great teaser but in this matter only nakul can beat him😉😆
i love these siblings teasing each other😆
nuckts thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: anshikashaheer

Omg...!!!*🤣i just LOVED all of ur amazing updates till now!*🤗u write soo beautifully yaar!😉❤️*hands down👏👏❤️just LOVE all ur KaJu sceness😳☺️❤️and bheem and karna making suji ka halwa😲 together🤣oh gosh sooo hilarious🤣😆and all his brothers spying on him is epic!!!!!!!*😆that was fabulous😉❤️🤣god i cant stop laughing😆..wat an outstanding relationship shown between these 6 brotherss😳❤️soo much love between dem..😳aww soo touching re!*😃😛pls do continue soon❤️

let me tell you first i love the way you have put colours in your texts its so lively
and thank you so much for commenting i was waiting for your reply when i read some of MB posts n stories and your reply to that😊

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