A leaf from Uttara's diary ...
My Love Abhimanyu,
Midnight has settle in once again bringing the stars in the skies above to shine their brightest ... but like always at the stroke of midnight sleep disowns me ... shrouding my mind with dark thoughts and finally crippling my mind altogether. An unbearable pain seeps through the cracks of my heart ... I feel restless and lifeless like I am a dying rose petal in the winter gardens.
Choking and grasping for fresh air ... at once I run out into the open ... far away distancing myself from the presence of others.
Without warning I find myself wrapped in total darkness, yet I am not alone. I look above searching for the one who is mine ... my Abhimanyu now a twinkling star glowing lustrously in the skies above reaching out to me ... for ours my beloved is a love written in the stars!
My weary eyes are glued on the skies above yet my feet keep me walking ahead for miles ... like I am trying to walk away from something? ... from the still fresh scars on my heart ... Abhimanyu, my love I have left myself in the past ... now wishing for something impossible, for my past to be erased yet the harder I wish for the more I get hurt! The darkness begins to cloud me yet again and I stand numb and frozen!
Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind me, the wind carries on its shoulders a musical voice ... whispering sweet nothing into my ears, something gentle tugs at my hands ... the cold autumn breeze whips my skin softly ... my fragile body trembles ... sudden exhilaration sweeps me ... my eyes glitter ... my lips smile, without delaying for another second to pass I swiftly twirl around to envision my hope ... but alas disappointment casts its dark shadows once again on me and I find nothing but complete darkness engulfing and suffocating me!
Tears burning into my skin piercing my heart ... the wind abruptly grows stronger slapping and stinging onto my skin ... making me relive the hurt of so many years in just a moment!
Abhimanyu, my dear some broken hearts cannot be mended ever ... you are the tear in my eye ... my faith shivers, yet I try to look beyond my scarred life remembering you as the sweetest memory of my life which I shall never let slip away ... not for a lifetime!
My life keeps similar writing pages of my life everyday ... pain starts to drift in again and again ... my tears blur my vision ... yet I try look forward in all hopes that a step I take here today is a step closer to you ... in your world where we can be together once again this time forever!
Yours always for eternity
Uttara
PS: I would like to dedicate this post of all the women of Mahabharat who lost their brave husbands at the war!
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