#reason 5-Denial.
****
It was a lazy wednesday and the atmosphere outside was sunny,happy.
But Zain Abdullah was not. He was brooding, feeling incredibley lazy.
He was a firm believer in clarity. It was all black and white for him. Yes and no.
Today, he was experiencing grey. A thousand shades of grey.
Confused, he was. About his future. About his parents. About her.
He had another year, for he was just starting his 12th, to think about his future.
About his parents.. he sighed.
He made himself comfortable in his couch and opened a packet of potato chips, staring at the TV screen. He had put in some movie but was not paying any attention.
His confusion about parents was an age old thing. 12 years to be presice. And he was 18.
His dadi, bless her soul, when she lived, had narrated many love stories about his parents. Arranged,it was. But they had somehow found each other.
So had they lost each other? Thought a 6 year old Zain as he watched his parents fight,hiding behind the kitchen counter.
His parents, for no apparent reasons, fought. And it was not like how he fights with her.
It felt real, not stupid. It was not enjoyable.
He felt his parents attention shift from him to their carriers. From each other to their personal success.
Eventually, his father became a successful businessman and his mother a reowned cook.
And the love that bonds a family together was lost somewhere in their personal acheivements.
They shifted from their small 1-bhk flat to a big bunglow. His mother's kisses became 500-ruppee notes, his father's pat on his back became a new cycle, and as he grew up, a bike.
His neighbourhood was filled with rich people, with two-faced personalities.
He would have gladly exchanged his pocket money (which was a lot) to go back to his 1-bhk flat. His parents returned to normal.
When he had mentioned this to his parents, all he received was a clap to the side of his head and cold indifference.
His poor, impressionable heart had lost all trust in love that day. He came to believe that love was fickle. And not to be trusted upon.
He was jealous one day, when he noticed a girl fall from the swing and her mother rushed to her. A child, somewhat around his age followed, reluctantly, but concern shining in his eyes.
The girl had her eyes shut, little,fat tears falling rapidly from her eyes.
Her mom tried pacifying her by giving her chocolates. She shut up immediately, though small sobs escaped her lips at times at which her brother teased her.
The next day, he made friends with the boy. They took to each other rather fast and had great times escaping from the watchful eyes of his nanny.
But the only drawback was she joined him. He had grown jealous of the twins when he noticed the love they received from their parents. And the love they shared between them. In them, he could see vestiges of what his family once was.
He had no problem with Zubair, because he joined in happily in playing pranks.
She used to rebuke when it got more dangerous. And Zubair sometimes used to cancel their plans saying his sister needed him.
And he used to hate that.
For once, he had made friends with a person he liked, not those snobbish children he was forced to make friends with.
And still, he was not anyone's priority. He longed to be someone's.
And he hated her for being Zubair's priority.
He smiled sadly, remembering the times he grew up. Would have been not so happy childhood if not for the Haider family.
His happiest memories were spent in that house which he came to call home.
He sighed again, licking the namkeen off his hands.
"And now I am unable to hate her." He mumbled.
Because she was the one who had made him smile.
The one who he listened to. Even Zubair was incompetent in that area. She had unfortunatley made it into the list of people he cared about.
He knew that he would go to extreme lengths for her. Would be ready to do crazy things for her.
And he had often wondered what it was that he feels for her.
Because obviously it was not hate. One does not do such things when in hate.
And the alternative was scary. He refused to accept it.
Because Zain Usman Abdullah did not believe in love.
Did not believe in it from when he was six.
And he hated that she made him feel that way.
"Denial is a not just a river in Egypt" he mumbled to himself as he rewinded that movie.
"It is a bitch."
*********
Padh lia? Ab jakar comment karo varna marungi. Ok, yeh nai kar sakti.. varna update nai karungi.
Emmani- sorry yaar, isme no kisses since this chapter was neccessary.
Agle mein dekhungi.
Zayalicious- sorry raat ko update kar nai pai, cause i dozed off and subah mera college.
P.s.- people go comment.
Constructive critisism is welcome.
Loads of love.
-Sanika.
comment:
p_commentcount