FUNNY STORIES - By CIDians - 2 - Page 72

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visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Long time no see. I thought someone has posted something here. 😆



23Diya thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: visrom

Long time no see. I thought someone has posted something here. 😆




I was planning to, actually.
But now I'm wondering how many will understand it 'coz the snippet i've written is sort of CID-HP hybrid.😆
23Diya thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

If you ever come across a HP fan, BEWARE! 😆

(If anyone doesn't understand something in the following story, please ask. I'll try to explain to the best of my ability.)

Abhijeet enters the bureau with the prime witness of a murder on a lakeside. The witness is a young girl named Diya.

Abhijeet comes and stands in front of ACP looking troubled.

ACP: Kya baat hai Abhijeet, kuch pareshaan dikh rahe ho?

Abhijeet tries not to roll his eyes and points to Diya with his head. ACP wrinkles his brows, trying to understand the problem. Seeing the confusion, Abhijeet explains,

Abhijeet: Sir ye Diya hai. Yahi iss double murder case ki prime witness hai. Isi ke baare me bataya tha Vivek ne aapko.

ACP: Haan to problem kya hai?

Abhijeet inhales deeply, and quite reluctantly brings out a picture of the dead body from his coat pocket and shows it to Diya.

Abhijeet: Ye aadmi kaise mara tha beta?

Meanwhile Daya, Vivek and Freddy also arrives and surrounds them.

Diya raises an eyebrow at the word beta' towards Abhijeet and then sighs sufferingly: Well, isn't it obvious? (looking at the blank expressions around her she says). Aap hi ne kaha tha ki iss bpdy pe koi chot ya aur kisi tarah ki internal ya external injury ke signs nahi hai, aur koi bahari wajah bhi nazar nahi aa rahi hai. Zaahir si baat hai...it's an AK.

Daya: AK?? Beta is body par koi goli ke nishan nahi hai.😕

Diya looks at Daya as if he's deliberately trying to act dense.

Diya (bluntly): Avada Kedavra.

Freddy: Kya? Abracadabra?😲

Vivek (Exitedly): Nahi Freddy sir, Abracadabra nahi, Avada Kedavra. (looking at Diya) Mujhe bhi shuru se yahi lag raha tha.

Diya (appreciatively): Smart!😉

Vivek smirks looking proud.

Diya: Moreover, Abracadabra is just the Muggle version of saying Avada Kedavra.

Abhijeet looks resigned. Daya: Diya , bachhe, aakhri Mughal baadshah bhi 150-200 saal pehle guzar gaya.

Diya just looks 😡 over the repitative indication that she's considered a child'.

Vivek replies instead: Sir, aap nahi samjhenge...bakli mujhe toh lagta hai ki mujhe dusre khoon ke baare me bhi clue mil gaya hai.

This time ACP raises an eyebrow in question. Vivek picks the picture of the second dead body from the nearest desk and shows all including Diya.

Vivek(showing the picture to all): Sectumsepra!😎

Freddy:

ACP's second eyebrow meets the first in his hairline, while Abhijeet looks at Diya. Seeing Diya smiling in admiration and appreciation towards Vivek and Vivek swelling increasingly in pride, he pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales in utter disappointment with his fate.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sometime later- Abhijeet, Daya and ACP looks out of the glass wall in ACP's office to see Diya and Vivek extremely excited, chattering away happily, and to their trouble, now also joined by Tasha who was also looking happy with the chat the three of them were sharing. On the other hand, Freddy was still sitting on the next desk, trying to make out something in all these talks.

They come out of ACP's office to stand behind the young group and continue to overhere there discussions where Tasha was currently complaining that Mumbai doesn't have a single shop that sells Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and that she misses it sooo much. Diya and Vivek seemed to crave more for Florean Frotescue's Ice Creams.

Abhijeet: Sir...

ACP(thoughtful): Hmm?

Abhijeet: Mai aaj galat jagah aa gaya hu kya?

ACP looks to be thoughtful, when Diya overhears them and jumps off the desk table she's sitting on and comes to them.

Diya (looking equally thoughtful): Aapne shayad koi time-turner turn kar diya hoga galti se, tabhi iss time line ka kuch samajh nahi aa raha hai aapko. (frowning slightly, she continues) Apne akhri kuch dino me koi golden colour ki round shape ki koi cheez dekhi thi?

Abhijeet thinks for a moment and then replies: Haan, kal mere desk pe aisi koi cheez thi toh sahi...sand watch jaisa kuch tha, maine ghuma ke bhi dekha use par...

Vivek, Tasha and Diya gasps😲 Abhijeet looks at the three horrified faces and gets a bad ickling.

Abhijeet: Kya tha wo hain? Tum me se kisi ki koi karamaat hai na kuch...kya gul khila rahe the? Vivek?

Vivek: Sir, wo time-turner tha, pata nahi kaha se aaya...

Abhijeet: time turner wurner kuch nahi hota...(angrily) kya mazak...

Tasha(cuts): Sir mazak nahi. Dekhiye, aapko yaha ki koi baatein samajh nahi aa rahi abb kyuki aap apne time me nhi hai.

Abhijeet looks skeptical.

Vivek: Waise sir, mujhe lagta hai ye do khoon bhi unhi ka kiya dhara hai...(he shakes his head in disgust)

Daya: Oh?

Diya: Death eaters sir. (said she very seriously)

ACP: Kya!!??

Tasha: Haan sir inki activity aaj kal bahut barh gayi hai sheher me. Jo bhi inka sath nahi deta, sabko maar rahe hai ye log.

Abhijeet (whispers to Daya): Ye kaunsi organization hai bhai jo humse bach gayi aur in baccho ko mil gayi?

Daya shrugs.🤔

Tasha: Waise Diya ka kehna hai ki DA ke members ne inhe rokne ki bahut koshish ki par...

ACP: DA?

Vivek: Dumbledore's Army sir. Diya bhi iski member hai.

Abhijeet: Double-door?? Abb ye kaun si bala hai?

Diya slaps her forhead and looks at Abhijeet in exhasperation: Sir, aapko kya kuch bhi nahi pata?

Abhijeet looks at Daya, who too was looking at him suspiciously now.

Abhijeet slightly falters: Na...nahi...kya hai ye.😕

ACP looks at him: Abhijeet...tumhe sach me yaad nahi?😲

Abhijeet: N...no sir. Maine ye naam kabhi nahi suna. Aap bhi toh keh rahe the na ki apko bhi inki baatein nahi samajh aa rahi thi? (looking at his friend for help) Daya?😔

Daya: Boss, dhyan se yaad karo. Baki baatein shayad hum se kahi miss ho gayi hongi isiliye hume samajh nhi aayi. Bacche bhi ye tez hai, kahi se pata laga liya hoga. Diya bhi mujhe CID officer banne layak lag rahi hai...par tumhe waqai me nahi yaad kuch iss DA ke baare me?

Abhijeet now doubting himself, seeing his support slipping away...


(Anyone shares the humour? Anyone wishing to continue it? )

I'm not sure if I've lost the touch.😆

swathi17 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Oh Diya di...
How did you come up with this idea?
I really liked the story very much... Though I am not a HP fan, I loved the way you brought in the HP world...
Abracadabra was hilarious 🤣 Though it's typical HP term, it was hilarious when told by Freddy... Poor Abhijeet 😆
Soon CID will become Dumbledore's army 😆
Our officers will be more powerful then...
visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
🤣

That was awesome, after a very long time. even I had written one a few months back and it was abandoned. 😆


Double door...🤣 🤣


Let me try...

The body is in the forensic lab.

Abhijeet: Salunkhe saab, yeh lijiye, fingerprints laaya hoon.


Salunkhe looks at them, picks up the sheet and throws it into a beaker of acid. The contents in the beaker turn grey and there's a smell of rotten eggs.


Abhijeet: Yeh kya kar rahe hain sir, pata hai, kitna mehnat karke saboot ikhatta kiya?

Salunkhe: Yeh finger prints mujhe kuch der pehle Freddie bhi laakar diya. Tumhari salary se 1000 Rs cut!


Abhijeet: 😡

Daya: Sir, yeh dekhiye, is glass mein bhi fingerprints hain...

Salunkhe picks the glass and smashes it into the ground.

Daya: Yeh kya kar rahe hain aap?

Salunkhe: Tum logon ko fingerprints ikhatta karna nahi aata. Jaao aur 10 pages ka essay likhkhar lao ki fingerprints kaise nikaalte hain.


Abhijeet and Daya rush to ACP.

ACP: Kya hua/?

Daya: Sir, humne bohot mehnat karke fingerprints ikhatta kiya lekin Salunkhe ne...

ACP: Salunkhe 'sir' bolo Daya!

Abhijeet: Haan sir, Salunkhe 'sir' ne use acid mein phenk diya...

Daya: Aur mere glass ko bhi tod diya jisme fingerprints the. Sir, Salunkhe zaroor khooni se mila hua hai

ACP: Daya. Abhijeet, Mujhe Salunkhe par poora vishwaas hai.




Salunkhe's story:

Salunkhe in the hospital after inhaling some fumes.

Daya goes in reluctantly.

Salunkhe struggles with his mask and points towards a diary.

Daya picks the diary and runs home to read what's in it.



Page 10: Salunkhe with his GF Nalini

Salunkhe: Main chemistry mein expert hoon, tum bhi chemistry le lo...

GF: Lekin main toh Commerce padna chahti hoon...


Page 55:

Salunkhe, Nalini and another guy Naresh in college.

Salunkhe is walking to the chemistry lab when Naresh throws a banana peel and Salunkhe falls down.


Naresh and Nalini have a great laugh.

Salunkhe goes 😡


Page 104:

Naresh and Nalini get married and have a boy named Daya. Then they are killed and Daya lands in Mamta foundation.


Salunkhe visits ACP in tears.

ACP: Kya hua Salunkhe?

Salunkhe: Main usi hospital mein duty par tha jahan Nalini aur Naresh admit hue the...lekin main in dono ko nahi bacha paaya 😭.

ACP: Tumhe iski sazaa milegi. Tum Daya ki jaan bachaoge...use humesha khatre se baahar nikaloge.


Salunkhe: Haan! Meri galti ki yahi sazaa hai.



Page 203:

2015:

ACP:Salunkhe, tumhare book rack mein commerce book?

Salunkhe: Haan...😔

ACP: Kya tum aaj bhi...

Salunkhe: Humesha ...!!!!


Back to present:

Daya: Kya!!! Main Salunkhe ki sachayi ko pehchaan nahi paaya...😲



(Anyone is welcome to continue)

(A deep knowledge of Harry Potter is needed to get a hang of this, sorry to those who don't follow HP much)



Edited by visrom - 7 years ago
swathi17 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Oh Vis di...
How quick and instant...
Have you used the concept of Snape pg 304? ( Sorry if I'm wrong bcoz I don't see HP)
Hilarious...🤣 Especially the banana peel... 😆
Loved it... I will try to write a different story...
visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Yes, that's Salunkhe as Snape. 😆

James Potter used magic to turn Snape upside down. I kept it simple and used a banana peel. 😛
Minionite thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
You're missing the most important turn to page 394. 😡

But I love it. 😆
23Diya thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
That was hilarious!!😆😆
Every scene was depicted so correctly...

Imagining Salunkhe saying "Hamesha..." with that Alan Rickman-like expression...🤣

Though I wonder if you purposefully chose un-characteristic characters...it was fun...AD (ACP)-compare the hair and beard length(or shall i say 'presence'
again snape (greasy long black hair) and salunkhe's (latest style, never getting old black) hair.😆
ANGELICEYES thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
OMG!! This is brilliant. Diya, Vis di.. you are brilliant.. I loved it. Seriously Dr. Salunkhe as Snape!! 🤣 Introduction of James, Lily and Severus concept was fantastic but I think 'Hamesha' was cherry on the cake. 😆
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