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Yuvika

@Yuvika_15

Moderator

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: shorty123
Ok maybe I was a bit rash in my response. So I apologise if i sounded curt. However, it aggravates me when people come out with 'first cousin marriages are taboo'. Who decides which practices are deemed taboo and which aren't? there are many things that people from other cultures/religion practice which can be perceived as taboo but the general society does not because such practices are exercised by the West. Sadly, it is the West who dictate which practices should be perceived as taboo and what should be considered as normal.

I totally get what u mean...a bit like how in islam pre-marital relationships are NOT acceptable but its quite common in the west and other places too but no muslim will openly criticise this practise becos if they do its classed as being "backward thinking"... I don't think the member intended to insult anything, but was rather confused as its not something they were familiar with...having said that I know of some hindu families where they have married in the family...but they were second cousins or far relatives..not first cousins like zain/aliya

in general I feel everyone should have an open mind about things in different cultures/beliefs even if one doesn't practise it themselves rather than look down upon it...I know many people find it rather disgusting when they hear that cousins have got married 2 one another, while some will be totally ok with it... I guess its just different opinions at the end of the day😕

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shorty123

@shorty123

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---

I am not looking at it from the West's perspective. I am looking at it from my perspective.
There was recently as thread in Rangrasiya about the male lead not being a virgin and how if the heroine had been a non virgin then everyone would have called her a s**t. In our (Indian) culture it is a taboo for a woman not to be a virgin until she is married, but that doesnt bother me at all. that is not a taboo for me.
Taboo is what is taboo to you.
Its hard to understand and accept something so very different from what you grew up with. Perhaps if I had known someone who had married their cousin then it would have been different. But I never knew anyone, never even heard of anyone. If you grow up with something then its normal. And what you dont grow up with, is not the norm and hard to understand.

The whole objective of this thread is to try to understand other people and their customs. Its really was not meant to offend. If you dont talk abotu something then it will forever be alien to you. I could have kept my mouth shut and pretended as if it was completely fine by me but then I would have been lying.

my comment is not directly aimed at you, I've a lot of this 'first cousin marriage/taboo' issue, my comment was just a general response to the issue. Of course you are allowed to express your opinion/thoughts on the issue. Yes we would all like to believe that taboo is what taboo means to you. But the fact is that the general consensus follows what the West project especially with this issue.

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Ishq-Dua

@Ishq-Dua

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#13

Hello there, so we meet again 😆

Yes Aliya and Zain are cousins. I'm sure it's sounding very awkward to you and to many people who are unfamiliar with it and think it's not ok to marry your cousin cause you see them like a sister or brother to you.

In Islam marrying your cousin is something ok and it happens a lot so it's no surprise.

According to the Quran which states exactly who you are not allowed to marry.

Prohibited to you (For marriage) are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;-

Qur'an4:23

Maybe you feel that your cousins are like your brother/sister but in reality they're not your brother or sister.

Also since you always treated your cousins as a brother to you then of course you won't be able to see him as something else. But since Muslims know that you are allowed to marry your cousins they put some certain lines and don't treat each other as brother/sister. I hope you understood what I meant.

I can understand though why you would find it awkward cause it depends on the environment and what the person has been taught.

Edited by MalikaRose - 10 years ago

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: MalikaRose
Hello there, so we meet again 😆
Yes Aliya and Zain are cousins. I'm sure it's sounding very awkward to you and to many people who are unfamiliar with it and think it's not ok to marry your cousin cause you see them like a sister or brother to you.
In Islam marrying your cousin is something ok and it happens a lot so it's no surprise.

According to the Quran which states exactly who you are not allowed to marry.

Prohibited to you (For marriage) are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;-
Qur'an4:23

Maybe you feel that your cousins are like your brother/sister but in reality they're not your brother or sister.

Also since you always treated your cousins as a brother to you then of course you won't be able to see him as something else. But since Muslims know that you are allowed to marry your cousins they put some certain lines and don't treat each other as brother/sister. I hope you understood what I meant.

I can understand though why you would find it awkward cause it depends on the environment and what the person has been taught.

Hey again!!

2 run ins in one day...😆

I do agree it is very dependent on your environment. It's not just that I treated my cousins as my brothers and sisters. It's how my family treated us all as well. I grw up in India with my cousins from my father's side. When we used to get together for summer vacations and other trips...all the children were round up and put together. We all played together..laughed together. We usd to go to water parks and amusement parks together. So do people who marry their cousins not have that? Do they not grow up laughing and playing with their cousins?

Then I moved to US and met my mother's side cousins...they all grew up here. Even though I am not close to them, they are still off limits..still my extended family. I guess I can see though if your parent's never emphasized that they are your brothers and thus off limits...it can be different.

Edited by ---Nisha--- - 10 years ago

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JennyPenny

@JennyPenny

Elite

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

#15

In order to enjoy this show to full extend, we just kinda have to delete the word cousins out of our brains and watch it.

thats the only way anyone will enjoy this show.

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butterfly15..

@butterfly15..

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#16

The moment I read new to the show, I knew what this thread would be about.😆

In Islam you're allowed to marry your cousins.

I'm Muslim and I live in England, and to be honest it is not prevalent here at all.

Personally for me I would never ever marry a cousin, it wouldn't even cross my mind, as I see them as my brothers, but if I heard someone else marrying a cousin it wouldn't freak me out or anything although I admit I find it weird myself and I completely see why it might weird you out. A lot of Muslims themselves find it weird.

The other thing is that while the majority of the time in this country cousins treat their cousins like their own brother and sister, this is not always the case. In Islam, there are certain boundaries about how you should act in front of a cousin of the opposite sex.

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shorty123

@shorty123

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: lovesick
Hey welcome to the forum. It's good to see Arhi/Arshi fans here😃
I understand where you're coming from. To be honest i felt the same at first but now i find the whole concept really cute- that may be because i don't have cousins my age.😛My mother's family oppose cousin marriages but my fathers family love it.😆😕

I'm not sure whether it's illegal in the UK but i know for a fact that it's something considered as COMPLETELY WRONG. It's like incest... eventhough it's not technically incest but you get my point.. (i hope you do!)😆

I hope their chemistry allows you to think beyond the whole cousin thing.😳

Cheers.

In the UK the royal family has long practiced this tradition. The hypocrisy of it all! Lol

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

#18

Yes but what the royal family does it not the norm in the West. And I am not British so I can't comment on anything else.

Butterfly- so what are the boundries? i mean whats different between how you are supposed to treat your brother and cousins?

Edited by ---Nisha--- - 10 years ago

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Ishq-Dua

@Ishq-Dua

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---

Hey again!!

2 run ins in one day...😆

I do agree it is very dependent on your environment. It's not just that I treated my cousins as my brothers and sisters. It's how my family treated us all as well. I grw up in India with my cousins from my father's side. When we used to get together for summer vacations and other trips...all the children were round up and put together. We all played together..laughed together. We usd to go to water parks and amusement parks together. So do people who marry their cousins not have that? Do they not grow up laughing and playing with their cousins?

Then I moved to US and met my mother's side cousins...they all grew up here. Even though I am not close to them, they are still off limits..still my extended family. I guess I can see though if your parent's never emphasized that they are your brothers and thus off limits...it can be different.

😆 yeah and in two different forums how cool is that

watch out for a third run in 😛

You know honestly speaking I didn't grow up with any of my cousins and never met them until I visited my country and at that time they were all married and had kids. So I don't know how it feels like to grow up with your cousins around you. So if they weren't married and I went back I wouldn't have seen them as my brothers cause I didn't even know them. Since cousin marriages is common in my family I knew that it's not impossible for me to marry one of my cousins if I was around them in that time. But I wasn't and glad I wasn't cause just in my opinion I would love to marry someone out of the family.😆

Let me talk about my aunt's daughter. She's already married and has kids. When I went back I asked her how come she didn't marry her cousin cause I heard that he Loved her and asked for her hand but she refused. She told me that since they grew up together she saw him as a brother and couldn't imagine him as a husband. So even though it's allowed in our religion she didn't want to marry him cause she grew up around him and they used to play with each other when they were young. She ended up marrying a guy who was totally out of the family.

Yes they play with each other as kids and have fun but when they get older they know that they can't act the same way they used to because they know that this person is allowed to marry you. For instance in Islam girls cover their hair from guys they can marry. So when you are around your brother you don't cover your hair but when you are around your cousin you cover your hair because marriage can happen between you two. You can hug, kiss your brother but you can't do that with your cousin from the opposite sex

I hope I'm making sense to you here.

So this totally depends on what you and your parents see and believe. I can totally understand some people find it awkward that cousins can marry while others are ok with it.

Edited by MalikaRose - 10 years ago

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shorty123

@shorty123

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---
Yes but what the royal family does it not the norm in the West. And I am not British so I can't comment on anything else.

Butterfly- so what are the boundries? i mean whats different between how you are supposed to treat your brother and cousins?

exactly the Royal family engages in first cousin marriage yet the British media here demonises Muslims for doing so!

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