Originally posted by: deepali.rock
UPDATING IN PARTS,DONT READ UNTIL I PM U
CHAPTER 12 REVIEW
Hi aazeen,
First of all accept my heartfelt apologies for being this late, u already know the reasons na.Its ok dear... I know it... ok... here I come, with the review...
"WOW" is the one word appreciation for this last chap. The progress and all was really smooth yet had the right pace.Thank u dear... Must say that u should try your hand at writing in the life that lays ahead. Kudos to you for that superb delivery and performance of your FF.Writing... N me??? R U serious even? Na baba na... Ye likhna-wikhna mere bas ki nahi hai... Ye ff hi, bamuskil-tamaam khatam kiya hai...Will wait for the epilogue, and plz make it a long one.Have posted it... As for long, m sorry yaar... Actually, I always used to write my chap, more than 3/4th in my notebook, n end as per I wanted, when I used to type it on my lappy... while writing the epilogue, I completed 3/4th, n then got to read Doc's news... Uske baad toh bas mann hi nahi kar raha tha ke kuch aur likhoon bhi... Bas isliye, jaise-taise epilogue post kar diya... God knows, kya likha hai maine...😕
Now moving onto the detailed part, here u go:
-First of all that ceremonial grahpravesh, complete with all rituals, the rice kalash and red colour water caught my eye. I have always loved these rituals, personally these are very dear to me. It was a simple sweet one which i enjoyed thoroughly. Thank you for putting that in.
U r welcome 4 that... Although, have kept ceremonial things in brief... have not gone in much details...
-Nidhi won that ring finding competition. Aww, that was really a tender touch to the scenario, it must have actually boosted nidhi's confidence na, that she has an upper hand in this relationship along with a caring life partner. I mean it must have given her positivity ahead of her new life.
Yeah! U have got that right... Thats only to bring positivity in her this married life...
-Mallika staying back with nidhi to reassure her was very refreshing. As in be it in serial or in other FF's anji always used to stay back. I know that mallika here had a special purpose as her councillor, but her first purpose was to offer assurance as a friend to nidhi, a dear one to her. Must say that it was a small but beautiful addition to this scenario. It appealed to me a lot.
U see, I have restricted Mallu's role to be limited to just a frns n a councellor... U know, I needed to put one charecter of that sort... Anji wala element isliye nahi daala...
-Nidhi's anxiety and inhibitions owing to her previous experience was very natural. In this one line, could again relate to nidhi's pain and suffering. And i guess that's ur speciality as a writer, that u can bring out the required level of intensity in such a small scene.
Ye toh tumhaari soch par nirbhar karta hai... U found it to be intense is good... Main toh bas likhti chali gayi...
-I have said this time and again that Ashu is a gem, and am saying that again. He is truly priceless. If nidhi is the fighter in here, Ashu is her knight in shining armour and much more. His understanding of nidhi got a whole new dimension. Kudos to u for shaping up his character so well.
Thanx Deepali to like my Ashu... He is truely a gem... A rare one...
-Ashu leaving the door unlocked and taking nidhi's permission to lock it up was an awesome scene. Ashu making nidhi comfortable enough was so Ashu like. Love him for such tiny miny things.
That was because, he didn't want the same things repeating again... U see, he wanted to make her comfortable at the first place... Being a newly wed, and her first night with him, she must have been alredy nervous... & to top over it, agar wo aisi koi harkat kar deta, jisse, she gets back into her shell, toh pichle 3 months ki uski mehnat bekaar chali jaati na...
-Ashu arranging a deewan bed in the room was very perceptive on his part. Nidhi was great here. Wanting to share the bed with ashu and trusting him with her heart and soul was superb. She surely has come a long way from her past. Now only a few steps need to be taken, that would redefine their relationship in a whole new way. Her fears have taken a backseat, letting her enjoy her new found bliss with an equally blissful companion.
Deewan Bed ka arrangement, wala khayaal aisa aaya, ke when u know, that u need to sleep on diff beds, arrange one in before na, why to sleep on the sofa, n have a cranky neck, next morning...
As for Nidhi, that was all bcoz, she trusted him...
-The cushion scene between Ashni reiterates all the above said things. It was actually another thoughtful and impactful scene on ur part, especially the duvet sharing.
Again, the cushion scene, was, he did not want her to feel uncomfy again... As for duvet scene, that was a small gesture of sharing...😃
A MONTH LATER:
-Their life has progressed just like a normal couple. Really liked this development. No hint of any discomfort. Bingo perfomance in this aspect too.Thanx... Vaise do u like bingo or lays??😆 Kuch bhi chalega, as far as I'm hungry, kuch bhi chalega... Onion-cream patato chips, lays ke pasand hain, baaki toh sab mein, I'm indifferent...
-Ashu's concern and worry for nidhi and her health was utterly butterly delicious. Nidhi's concern for her saasu ma was great. She also managed to calm ashu down. Single stroke pe do nishane laga diye aapne to, aur nishana zaraa bhi nhi chooka.
Chaliye, badiya hai, aapko, dono nishaane dikh gaye...😆
FEW DAYS LATER:
-Ashu throwing his arms and legs over Nidhi in his sleep was so so romantic. I was actually wary of nidhi's reaction here, but her response made me jump up and down with happiness. That positive response to the intimacy was super cool. Liked it that u developed their relation in bits and pieces in this aspect too. Their hugs transported me to my dreamy world. Ashu grabbing her tightly was just fab. Really liked that lovestruck part.
I had thot that throwing arms n legs wala part well before... N was sure, wo scene, zyatar logon ko pasand aayega...
6 MONTHS LATER:
-Beautiful portrayal of the life ahead. Regular life of husband wife was so very cute, especially the morning scenes. I am glad that nidhi pulled through her bad phase.
Thanx...
-Nidhi's pain while narrating the pregnancy part was very evident. Ashu's assurance and soothing touch was very impactful.
Mujhe bhi ummeed thi, ke wo scene, impactful hoga... That was kind of spot thot, to initiate intimacy for them...
-Finally the ultimate union was just FAB. Especially the unique touch u gave it, the rose and the aalta were just so different and refreshing. And you didnt miss out on the hotness quotient either.
The rose n aalta part was indeed unique... U know, I love doing something different... Aur phir apne unique couple ke liye, hona bhi kuch unique hi tha...
-Ashu took care of the clothing to keep Nidhi at comfort was great thinking on his part.
Good u observed that...
The ultimate chapter was actually worth it. Ab samajh aaya why i didnt give a lil review, because i wanted to give a long one which u actually deserve.
Hmm... Got it... Thanx dear for this super long review...
Waiting for the epilogue.
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