Durr-e-shahwar regressive?? - Page 2

Originally posted by: simplytoxic

the main point here was that...everyone wants aman in their life...but not easy to get that if both keep fighting and care about their egos. Fighting and war is not the solution to get peace anywhere...be it between countries or between two people in a home... Someone has to keeptheir ego aside and take the first step instead of waiting for the other one to bend down. Then why shouldn't you be the one? You don't get smaller by doing that. That's basically the lesson from this drama for everyone! Not only saas bahu, but in every situation in life!

</div><div>And if you remember Shandana's phone conversation with her mom in the end...Haider read the letters too...and they were having some effect on him too. Basically, Shandana was the bigger person to take the first step and this lead to some kind of change in attitude in Haider too.

Originally posted by: Nkapoor3

yes but the message that it is only the woman who can help her marriage is a wrong message! why is it always the woman's responsibility? this sort of show can give a wrong message to the women who desperately want to get out of a bad marriage! zaroori nahin hai ke every man reforms!!

Originally posted by: Binge

<font color="#333333">I do not think of this show as regressive. It was heart-warming and gave me a good feeling. Some really warm and touching father-daughter, mother-daughter moments. Well yes, I did ponder over why only woman had to compromise and sacrifice, but isn't that how any woman in regular household does? She's the one expected to cook, nurture kids, appease husband, obey MIL etc etc.. she's the one who </font><font color="#333333">makes</font><font color="#333333"> home in real sense. Shandana was egoistic and hoity toity right from episode 1 and she had to bend somewhere. I think the dialogues in the last episode made it quite clear that the show is anything but regressive. A girl is always burdened with responsibilities after marriage, kids and it starts getting heavier.</font>

<font color="#333333">Since HS is brought here, Shahwar wasn't called characterless by her husband or doubted for her fidelity. Somewhere along the lines, Durr-e-Shahwar's father always knew that Mansoor is a good guy with no bad habits. Whatever Mansoor did, he didn't take years to open his eyes-thank god for that! When the same happened with his sister, he realized what his family and he did to his wife. Unfortunately, when his daughter went through problems in her married life, he couldn't handle it well like Shahwar's father did! I found it really funny.. the way he'd shout and scream at Hyder! That is not the right way to handle situation like this.</font>

<font color="#333333">Yes, DES suffered but we cant call her a victim exactly. Its natural in every household but hope it changes after this show.</font>

Originally posted by: _QueenofHearts_

it is actually true though! Mens nature is just like that, unnki ego kabhi unnko jhukne nahi deti (this isnt true for all men, i know, but a lot of them and especially those men who are not open minded and stuff which is the case in this drama)

its the woman who has to do all the sacrifices

and if you look into past generations, or even people nowadays who are living in villages, poor famillies, etc you will see how true this is :)

Originally posted by: _QueenofHearts_

This show has a lesson not just for women, but men also! Yes, it does show that women should be doing all the sacrifices and such but thats just an example. Doesnt mean men dont! I think both men and women should watch this show and learn from Mansoor and Durre Shahwar, this drama isnt just about women making sacrifices to save their relationship but it also tells us how men should treat women by showing us the mistakes which Mansoor has made and how he regrets them in the end. Remember at the end he says a dialogue about one person having to be patient from the two to save a relationship, in this case it was the woman but not always. Also, Durre Shahwar says something about when the man doesnt let his ego go, to aurat ko jhuk jaana chahiye.

The thing about this drama which I love is that it has more than one lesson for both men and women, one of them being

"waqt badalta hai, aur waqt badal jayega" :)

Originally posted by: _QueenofHearts_

Yes it is a stereotype but its realistic! It doesnt give false hope, it just prepares us for reality :)

Originally posted by: Nkapoor3

hmm so reality is every man is a jack ass?? and yes it can promote false hopes, as a wife can get the hope of changing a man that will never change, and will only be nasty towards her, I am not saying the stereotype is not realistic, but one needs to get out of these stereotypes and help women understand that sacrificing is not their only choice!