Showtime interview -- Jai Kalra

"I'd Never Let My Testosterone Give In To Anything Physical On The First Date"

Hot, hunky and devastatingly handsome, Jai Kalra is one charming guy. After starting his acting career with the critically acclaimed Page 3, followed by several other films like Shagird and the recent Love U...Mr. Kalakaar!, the actor has now shifted his focus to TV. Seen as Ram Kapoor's best friend, Vikram, on the popular show Bade Achche Lagte Hain, Jai's gullible good boy image has won the hearts of millions across the nation. In between his busy shooting schedule, we somehow manage to pin him down for our monthly dose of naughty and bold questions.

Tell us about your first attraction.

When I was in the ninth grade, I was really attracted to a girl who was four years elder to me. I never had the guts to talk to her. But I would always think of ways to strike a conversation with her. But I never did and like a typical 70's movie, my heroine went away.

What was your first date like? How far would you go on a first date?

I went for a nice one-hour walk with a girl I liked, after a school party. It was very innocent and extremely sweet. Talking about how far I would go on a first date – well, I'd never let my testosterone give in to anything physical on the first date itself. I look for things beyond beauty and I really can't stand bimbettes. I am the kind of a man who looks forward to connecting with a lady beyond just the physical aspect.

What would you wear on a hot date?

I would wear something that says I am approachable, yet not desperate. I would stick to the classic combination of blue jeans with a white or black shirt.

Would you call yourself a flirt?

Well, I would call myself charming. Flirting doesn't always need to be about passing romantic or sexual comments. I am a little flirtatious when it comes to striking interesting conversations. But that's all.

What is your take on one-night stands?

As long as two individuals are okay with it, it isn't wrong. For me, it's very important to connect with a person on an intellectual level before taking anything forward. To each his own. I am not judgmental about it, but I do not see myself in that situation.

Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex?

I have never been physically or romantically attracted to someone of the same sex. But inspirationally, yes, I have been. I think attraction has many facets to it. There are a lot of men who inspire me with their charisma. For example, I was always completely in awe of Steve Jobs. I really admire the man for his contribution to the world. So yes, there are a lot of men I look up to.

Has a guy ever hit on you?

Oh yes, many! I had started my career as a model in the fashion industry. Even during my first film Page 3, I got hit on by many guys. Thankfully, I've always managed to escape such situations.

What is your take on homosexuality and bisexuality?
Many references of homosexuality and bisexuality are there in our history books. It's just that now people are opening up about it. I think a person's sexuality is totally up to him or her. We all need to be more open about it and just let people be.

What turns you on in a woman?

Intelligence. Someone who's elegant and well-read impresses me. My ideal woman would be someone who I can converse with about absolutely anything. Luckily, my wife is just like that.

How would you react, if a girl made a pass at you?

We live in a world where our social conditioning is that men need to make the first move.

So if a girl finds me good enough to come up to me and make a pass at me, it'll be very flattering.

What are you views on pre-marital sex?

I think we've grown past the era of saving yourself for that special someone. Plus, we need to evolve with time. Today, sex is an expression of love between two adults.

Whether it's pre or post-marital sex, the extent of physical engagement between two people is totally up to them. If you are comfortable, then it's perfectly fine.

Do you think men always have sex on their minds?

Well, men have evolved in a way that is different from women. If they see something appealing to their eyes, they do get attracted to it. It can't be a general statement, but it's true to a certain extent.

How much importance would you give to sex in a relationship?

A lot. I am not a believer of sacred love. I think those stories only look good in books. In a relationship where two individuals are living together, it's very important for them to connect both physically and emotionally. I think physical intimacy helps in bringing two people close. Sex is a very important aspect of love, but a relationship can't stay intact based only on it.

Do you see yourself in a purely physical relationship?

No, I don't. As I told you before, a lot of other things matter to me. An emotional and intellectual connect is very important for me.

Do you think nice guys have a tough time getting the right girl?

I think every guy has a tough time getting the right girl and every girl has a tough time getting the right guy. It's not just about good guys or bad guys. Finding the perfect match is what takes time.

Why do men love bitches?

Firstly, I do not understand what exactly the term bitch stands for. Men like women who know their mind and can speak their mind. I really like women who are frank. I think men get attracted to women who know how to express themselves. At least that's how I look at it.

Have you experienced the casting couch?

Yes, I have faced it. But it's there in every profession these days. People are ready to do anything to go ahead in their life and thus, there are also people who take the advantage of that.

Showbiz entities are assumed to be loose. How would you react to such assumptions?

Casting couch is just over-hyped in our industry because we grab eyeballs and are a glamorous lot. It's just a very wrong impression people have in their minds about our industry. In the end, even we are doing our job and at the end of the day, we too go back to our loved ones.

Would you take back your partner who has strayed in a relationship if she regretted it later?

If my partner has strayed but is ready to mend things, I will take her back. I guess I will give her a chance if she is apologetic about it. A person strays in a relationship only if he or she finds something missing.

What is your opinion on open marriages/open relationships?

Like a traditional Indian boy, marriage is very sacred to me. I am not really in support of open marriages or relationships. It becomes a relationship of convenience. Marriage is something that two individuals should commit to only if they want to be together for life. The very basic core of a relationship is trust and when it's not there, there's no point of having a relationship. For me, ending a marriage is a better option rather than being in an open marriage.

Tell us about your wildest fantasy.

I am a nomad at heart. I love to travel to various locations and unexplored destinations.

And when you travel to such locations, you feel like connecting with many of them. But coming to reality, I would really like to travel with my beautiful wife and fulfil my fantasies with her.

*Courtesy: Showtime