"You are kidding me, correct?" He asked her after recovering from speechlessness.
Adult content notice to Maan Singh Khurana by Geet Handa was delivered by hand to him by none other than the woman accusing him of it - Geet.
"No sir. I am not kidding you. This is as real as it can get." She said flatly. His premonition was right. He was about to get migraine now.
"Please explain."
"Sure, I will. Here is the first task you gave me. You said – Geet, get sex information about 'Kiran'." She breathed heavily, clearly embarrassed about something.
"Yes, I did. This person hadn't filled that section in application and you know we need that information for our records", he said flabbergasted.
"Well you should have made it very clear to me that you were asking me to get the person's Gender information and not sex information. When I called that person and asked him verbatim to what you said, he said twice a week!" She slammed her fist on his table. They stared each other for a moment.
He burst out laughing while she breathed fire like a dragon. Her reddish face was adorable but he didn't comment on that. He, for a moment had forgotten about naivety that was so clearly splashed on her persona. His inner mind ranted as "dumbo" but he settled for "innocence". Whatever.
"Giving me this notice because of you didn't clarify with me is not my problem Geet." He bargained. She wasn't in a mood for bargaining.
"Who said this is your only offense? This was the first one. There are more."
"Really? Please go on." He said bemusedly.
"The second task: Call network engineer and asking him to touch and pine."
"Yes, so?" He knew what she was insinuating. When those words were uttered out of context in that order, they did sound a little crude. But the key words in his task description were "network engineer".
"Touch and pine? Ring any bells sir? That is vulgar. Period." She hugged and crossed her arms in front of her.
"Since you are so Google-search happy, search this too: Unix Command + Touch and Unix Command + Pine. Tell me what you get as results", he replied swallowing his laughter. She was quiet for a moment.
"What will be the results?" She asked slowly.
"They are Unix commands Geet. They perform some operations on UNIX operating systems. And the note was meant for our network engineer. He would immediately understand what I meant without letting his thoughts go to the gutter." Amusement hadn't left his voice yet. He could practically see wheels turning in her head.
"Okay fine, I might have misunderstood the last task too but the next one is so wrong", she said condescendingly.
"Please explain", he put down the documents he was holding and relaxed his tie. The day was ending with very few people left in office and his almost headache was now gone.
"Third task: Geet, stop fantasizing about harlequin males and get back to work." She said and looked at him in a challenging stare. He swallowed and stared back. He couldn't help but slip that task in an hour or so back when he caught her spacing out. He was in a pickle.
"Well you were spacing out to infinity and I caught you red handed. That's why. And please, don't tell me that you don't fantasize." He wriggled his eyebrows at that.
"Of course I fantasize about nice looking men," she grinned cheekily. His smile waned a little and he wondered if he had opened Pandora's Box.
"Hang on. So you mean to say that everything that goes on in your books, you imagine them yourself?" His smile was fully gone. However her smile grew exponentially.
"Yep. I imagine being in the shoes of the heroine who go through emotional roller coaster to be with the man they love", she gushed and walked around dramatically. He got up and sat on table in front of her. If she was performing theatrics, he might as well sit in first row.
"So how far does your imagination go?" He asked dreading the answer already.
"I don't understand", she stopped mid dramatics and asked him.
"I mean what is that you see?" He hoped he made enough sense and sincerely wished she would ask him to shut up and mind his own business. But this was Geet. She did exactly what he didn't want her to do.
So she explained.
"Well I imagine that I am in a world where I am a poor girl and the guy is a rich man. We would start off as enemies and then turn friends and then you know, lovers", she ended up saying 'lovers' shyly. He invariably smiled at her innocence.
"So like the cliched and mundane television dramas and dime a dozen novels, there is opposition from the rich guy's family and with many events happening we decide to go through it all. And then one day we somehow end up in a distant town and also end up sharing the room", she stopped and peered at Maan who was listening intently.
"What? Go on Geet, am listening", he encouraged her. He was curious to know how far she would go with her fantasy.
"Then he and I would end up in one room and we would make out for a long time. And then we get under covers. And then…" she again stopped and looked at him turning red. He was blatantly staring at her.
"Why do you two have to go under covers if you are in a room which I hope has a bolt?" Maan asked trying to find out logic in the explanation.
"Because, the lights are still on sir", she answered. He looked at her, speechless.
"Who is there to see you? It's a bolted room you dolt", he replied flabbergasted.
"He and I are there in that room sir!" She replied looking at him as if he was an idiot. Probably he was trying to figure out what was going on in her mind.
"Whatever. Go on. What happens next?"
"And then light would be turned off."
"And?" He implored.
"And what? That's the end of my fantasy." She was completely red when she finished. He sighed. He should have known. The girl was completely, utterly and adorably innocent.
"You know for most people fantasy actually starts after the lights are turned off?" He said gauging her response. And like clockwork she turned redder.
"Please don't talk about it anymore. I am already embarrassed enough", she replied. Now he wanted to tease her further.
"You know what a guy would do next, he would…"
"Dhoom pichak dhoom pichak dhoom", she stared singing loudly drowning his voice in her song and covering her ears to block everything he was saying.
He couldn't help but tease her more. He grabbed her wrists and tried wringing it from her ears which made her to sing even louder.
"The guy would beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and the girl would beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…."
The singing got louder and he struggled between saying stuff and laughing uncontrollably.
"Sir! Geet! What are you guys doing? And Sir, what the hell are you saying!!!"
One of the guys from HR was standing by the door, jaws dropped and eyes wide.
The rest, is not history but its not interesting enough to write how Maan stammered himself to explain and how Geet struggled to regain the color of her skin which had turned horribly crimson. So yeah, it was just another day in office. 😆Sookie
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