Badi Maa's Invitation - Page 3

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

This is something that I don't understand about Badi Maa either. No matter who comes to your home, family members, guests, or workers, the basic decency is to show them respect. Not scold them, berate them, or mock them. At this point, I'm failing to understand how Manikant even married Koyal. Even if it was an arranged marriage, surely his parents should have been put off by her behavior. 😕

I also think she's deluding herself about the attachment the kids feel for her. Is Garv the eldest child? I'm taking a guess that if Koyal actually did raise him, then the attachment may have grown from there? I'm taking it in the same stride that a child feels attached to their grandparents or any relatives that may be living with them from a young age.

He can be mad at his dad for the constant blaming but he can't see the wrongness of his Badi Maa's actions? I would like to know if he thinks it's okay to ruin his sister's party arrangements just because she wanted to be petty against Titli, a decorator that he had to hire because she goofed up with the first one.

Her hatred towards Titli is also unfounded. Okay, they got off on the wrong foot but that doesn't mean she needs to keep harboring ill will for her. Titli has already moved on and is simply there to do her job. For Koyal to keep thinking she's there for seductive purposes is so irritating. I honestly can't wait until TiRv gets married and for once Garv puts someone else before his Badi Maa. That boy needs a serious mental health check because of her.

thats why I don't buy garv's feelings -- I don't think badi maa is some innocent babe or someone who we should sorry for. notice none of the servants felt bad for her that she was insulted that manikant chose to put the sindoor on maina. instead their reaction was, "she deserved it!!!!!". if you treat people with disrespect, then that is what will come back to you.

titli as the FL is all goody goody and gives her a free pass saying that she is directing her anger elsewhere. however, that kind of behaviour is unfair and mean.

if you are working in office and your manager takes out all their anger on you and your fellow teammates because they are going through some other personal crisis, would HR say that is appropriate behaviour and let the manager behave as they please? badi maa is power tripping and using her position to harass the servants. why is that acceptable? because they are servants and poor?

I think we are supposed to see her like a joker that she would randomly yell at clients who walked into the door because she thinks they are salespeople and they dirtied the floor -- but that is dumb. first, isn't it common courtesy and decency to find out who is coming to your house? to ask politely what they want and need? not go off into rants. then when the clients walk off in a puff, it is left to manikant to apologize to them and be embarrassed.

regardless of what we might be facing, it is not an excuse to treat your fellow human beings like dirt. even if we are stressed over things, we can still be courteous and show decency to others. so I find badi maa as someone who is unintentionally mean. someone possibly dangerous.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

But Maina, their bio mother is right there. And thus far, it doesn't seem like she works so what was the point of Koyal? To keep her as a nanny? 😕 Even Garv saying, "Badi Maa ne humein duniya dikhayi hai" came off as disrespectful to me. Like, he reduced his own mother to just being a baby-making machine and that's it. And Koyal ne kaunsi duniya dikhayi hai? Given her mentality and the way she speaks to others, is very rough and rude. Aise duniya mein toh koi nahi jeeta.

If Maina is the reason why Koyal stayed, then it would have been better if she had just been a surrogate mother. Yeh biwi wala chakkar laane ki zaroorat nahi thi. Unless it was during her first pregnancy that Manikant started to fall in love with Maina?

I think you're right about Koyal's inability to bear children being the catalyst for his resentment. Once Maina came into their lives, the differences between the two sisters might have become glaringly visible and pinch Manikant even more. Garv going against his father wouldn't have helped matters either. Rather than being close to his own mother, Garv gives more importance to Badi Maa which would pinch Manikant even more.

Haha, I didn't know Maina was also the name of a bird! If you think about it, them being named after birds and Titli being a butterfly, they're all creatures that are often caged so that their beauty could be admired. In their own ways, these three women are captured by Manikant and Garv. It's only a matter of how and when they set themselves free.

Yes! That was a really well-executed scene. Manikant's shouting helps him to release his anger however Garv's repression is what makes him lash out violently in private. The conversation he had with himself in his room was equally powerful. Seeing the kind of man his dad is, Garv very desperately wants to be the opposite. It's a shame that his anger overwhelms him to the point he becomes violent. And to think he might even turn into something worse than his father...

Another thing I really liked about Garv is that he is very cognizant of his actions. If he maintains this trait, it will him greatly to mend his ways. But if he continues to let his anger cloud his judgment, he will be crossing lines of no returns.

One more thing I wanted to add with regard to Garv's anger is that it's not cliched. Normally, when MLs are shown as being angry and brooding, they would get pissed at every little thing and let loose on anyone and everyone. Garv isn't like that. When Titli accidentally decorated his car, he didn't shout at her, or even today when he was nearly killed, he accepted the driver's apology and stayed calm even post the incident. It's specific things that set him off which is highly relatable. Yes, as humans we all get annoyed and irritated, but to violently explode on someone - that takes unique triggering moments.

it was indeed disrespectful but I think he was parroting koya's sentiment. she acts like maina was just some surrogate and these are her kids. so he picked up on those feelings as he grew up. manikant is right in some sense when he says that garv is rude because of koyal -- it feels like koyal has taken in garv in her corner almost as a way to protect herself. rather than 3 people in this already complicated relationship -- maina, manikant and koyal, there is also garv in the corner. this happens in some dysfunctional homes where the couple bring in the kids into their own troubled dynamics.

of this has been done very unconsciously and not planned but the result is that koyal has separated garv from his own parents in some ways.

garv's attachment to her means koyal gets to keep the eldest son - the who one who will continue the family line. because of the importance he gives to her, she becomes badi maa, with emphasis on her being the elder. he is not even aware that he is putting his own mom down through that but there was a small scene that shows it might indeed be more complicated for garv.

when koyal sat in the puja, maina was hurt as everyone looks and then garv gently puts a hand on her from behind and she acknowledges him. so maybe he is stuck in between and thinks manikant as the evil person who ruined two women's lives or something. however, his anger does seem rather excessive and like you said, there may be more to these messed up family dynamics....

No matter how annoying badi maa is but at the end she is a part of the family and also raised the children.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

initially when I didn't know who she was, I thought she was purposely creating havoc in the wedding house because she was jealous relative. that was my initial thought on why she was treating the future in-laws like s**t -- that she wanted to wreck the wedding or give out negative vibes.

and then you find out she raised these kids? my reaction frankly was an eye roll. 🙄

lets go back to the dinner table scene. if the daughter you raised is leaving the house in a week, wouldn't you be making her favourite dishes? make sure those days are special family bonding times because these are days that won't come back again??

no, she is instead focusing on trying to patofy bade saab because he put the sindoor on maina as opposed to her. even when he says 'no' twice, she insists on serving him and when he gets burnt, he reacts aggressively. so in that case, who is really at fault? if someone says, no, shouldn't common courtesy indicate that you back off. why not serve the others in the table? why was she focused only on him when it is a special time for monica?

garv is blind and blames bade saab but can you really blame him? the only language that badi maa seems to understand is insults. only that keeps her within boundaries.

also, the moment she entered the room, everyone was immediately on edge because they don't know what drama she will create. these are relatives and no one seems to like her much. we all have such characters in every family -- people who create havoc when they step into the house and so we resent them. badi maa seems like one of those.

I think we are supposed to see her as someone innocent because she is not necessarily doing this consciously or planned -- however her heart is bitter and therefore she is as well. these kind of people are more dangerous in some sense than villains who plan as badi maa is not the type who is rational. you cannot win her over as her feelings are based on her initial dislike and she is going to be a menace to titli.

Regarding the food, we don't know what else they ate so she very well could have made something that was Monica's favorite. I do however agree with you on her persisting despite Manikant's refusal. If she had indeed made something just to please him, wouldn't it have made it sense to have it be brought to the dinner table before everyone started eating rather than right in the middle of it? Then to say "I made it only for you" is alienating the other family members as well. Like, are they all not supposed to eat it?

So far in Manikant and Koyal's interactions all we have seen is Manikant being hurt, and humiliated because of her ill behavior and actions. To me, his anger and resentment is justified. Can he handle the situation better? Maybe but the question is would Koyal listen? If we look at Titli, she has spoken politely with Koyal and without having all the information, she was right about Koyal displacing her anger. Rather than showing gratitude that someone was able to understand her, Koyal instead waged this petty war against her. 🤔

In the scene where she's trying to calm Garv down, she acknowledges her mistakes but does she understand the true depths of what's she's saying? Or is she merely saying them as a way to victimize herself?

What do you think will be the turning point for Koyal in regards to her perception for Titli? Do you think she will ever soften toward her or will she forever remain bitter?

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

thats why I don't buy garv's feelings -- I don't think badi maa is some innocent babe or someone who we should sorry for. notice none of the servants felt bad for her that she was insulted that manikant chose to put the sindoor on maina. instead their reaction was, "she deserved it!!!!!". if you treat people with disrespect, then that is what will come back to you.

titli as the FL is all goody goody and gives her a free pass saying that she is directing her anger elsewhere. however, that kind of behaviour is unfair and mean.

if you are working in office and your manager takes out all their anger on you and your fellow teammates because they are going through some other personal crisis, would HR say that is appropriate behaviour and let the manager behave as they please? badi maa is power tripping and using her position to harass the servants. why is that acceptable? because they are servants and poor?

I think we are supposed to see her like a joker that she would randomly yell at clients who walked into the door because she thinks they are salespeople and they dirtied the floor -- but that is dumb. first, isn't it common courtesy and decency to find out who is coming to your house? to ask politely what they want and need? not go off into rants. then when the clients walk off in a puff, it is left to manikant to apologize to them and be embarrassed.

regardless of what we might be facing, it is not an excuse to treat your fellow human beings like dirt. even if we are stressed over things, we can still be courteous and show decency to others. so I find badi maa as someone who is unintentionally mean. someone possibly dangerous.

Yup, even in displacement that behavior is wrong and it can't be repeated. This where self-awareness is highly necessary.

Forget the clients, think about Monica's in-laws! First of all, Maina dragged her out of the kitchen to specially introduce her to the new relatives because that's how much she loves and respects Koyal. And what did Koyal do in return? She humiliated the whole family by prioritizing the sofa over the father-in-law. Granted he was a messy eater, she could have offered him a plate so that the chutney didn't drip all over him. But to say he should get up so that she can cover up the sofa instead was insulting to another level. There was a reason why she wasn't brought out in the first place. I get what Maina's intentions were, but she should also realize there are certain situations in which Koyal simply should not participate, namely those where she is required to interact with other human beings. 🙄

In the future just to create problems for Titli and Garv, I can see her purposely sabotaging Garv and placing the entire blame on Titli. This woman has no regard for others so long as she's proven right and the high position she has been given by Garv remains.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

it was indeed disrespectful but I think he was parroting koya's sentiment. she acts like maina was just some surrogate and these are her kids. so he picked up on those feelings as he grew up. manikant is right in some sense when he says that garv is rude because of koyal -- it feels like koyal has taken in garv in her corner almost as a way to protect herself. rather than 3 people in this already complicated relationship -- maina, manikant and koyal, there is also garv in the corner. this happens in some dysfunctional homes where the couple bring in the kids into their own troubled dynamics.

of this has been done very unconsciously and not planned but the result is that koyal has separated garv from his own parents in some ways.

garv's attachment to her means koyal gets to keep the eldest son - the who one who will continue the family line. because of the importance he gives to her, she becomes badi maa, with emphasis on her being the elder. he is not even aware that he is putting his own mom down through that but there was a small scene that shows it might indeed be more complicated for garv.

when koyal sat in the puja, maina was hurt as everyone looks and then garv gently puts a hand on her from behind and she acknowledges him. so maybe he is stuck in between and thinks manikant as the evil person who ruined two women's lives or something. however, his anger does seem rather excessive and like you said, there may be more to these messed up family dynamics....

That's true and the way she places so much pride in Garv it's evident that she cares about him the most in the family. In a way, we can also say that after Maina, it's Garv who has her back. I am curious to know what kind of relationship Garv has with Maina. There may be affection but how deep does it go? If he is the eldest, then did Maina completely offer him up to Koyal to raise so that she could also feel the bliss of motherhood?

For Garv, Koyal may have an even higher place because of the sacrifices she had to make (giving up the rights of a wife to her own sister just because she couldn't conceive). I don't think there's anything wrong with showing appreciation for it, but it shouldn't be done at the cost of one's relationships.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Regarding the food, we don't know what else they ate so she very well could have made something that was Monica's favorite. I do however agree with you on her persisting despite Manikant's refusal. If she had indeed made something just to please him, wouldn't it have made it sense to have it be brought to the dinner table before everyone started eating rather than right in the middle of it? Then to say "I made it only for you" is alienating the other family members as well. Like, are they all not supposed to eat it?

So far in Manikant and Koyal's interactions all we have seen is Manikant being hurt, and humiliated because of her ill behavior and actions. To me, his anger and resentment is justified. Can he handle the situation better? Maybe but the question is would Koyal listen? If we look at Titli, she has spoken politely with Koyal and without having all the information, she was right about Koyal displacing her anger. Rather than showing gratitude that someone was able to understand her, Koyal instead waged this petty war against her. 🤔

In the scene where she's trying to calm Garv down, she acknowledges her mistakes but does she understand the true depths of what's she's saying? Or is she merely saying them as a way to victimize herself?

What do you think will be the turning point for Koyal in regards to her perception for Titli? Do you think she will ever soften toward her or will she forever remain bitter?

like garv said, she is protecting manikant -- in her mind. if she truly understood her mistakes, she would have the common sense to not do them. at least she would be smarter and realize that if she wants to patofy her husband, she needs to change herself for the better.

but because she does not see herself as wrong and lives in some deluded world where manikant is showing his affection to her through scolding, she continues her behaviour. as @aaf311 noted, maybe that is the only way to get his attention like a rebellious child.

as of now, I don't think koyal will be titli's ally but rather a foil or the trigger for garv to treat titli badly. like you had posted in another note above, koyal will very happily sabotage and hurt both the leads with zero concern for either as long as her petty objective is fulfilled. koyal comes across as one of those people who never lets go of a grudge no matter how absurd.