part ii --
so the other aspect of women's rights is obviously law. especially since garv is a lawyer, it will be interesting to see what happens when he maybe goes off the dark end if that is where the drama heads.
when you look at aspects like law, you also have to how our system is set up.
so I watched the episode yesterday -- why did garv give the advice to monica's friend the way he did? nothing about the scene felt unreal to me and I thought it was mostly well done.
now, am not a lawyer but here is what I understand.
personal law -- marriage, divorce, inheritance, adoption -- is community based and depending on the religious group you belong to, there are differences in how the family court will proceed. there is also overarching laws under the special marriage act that govern if the parties belong to different religions.
when it comes to criminal and civil, we have the same code. so monica's friend got slapped by her husband.
any case of violence is automatically criminal offense and once FIR (first information report) is registered at the police station, it cannot be withdrawn. so it has to go through the court system. only civil complaints can be withdrawn at will.
in domestic squabbles, what will happen is that a wife will register a complaint. then, later they make up but she cannot withdraw the complaint. this can cause further friction within the home as the legal system is very slow and there are huge backlogs.
so sometimes, years later, the two will appear in court and the wife will be like, "yea we reconciled and there have been no further incidents of violence" and then the judge will throw the case out.
when garv asked the friend if this is truly what she wants or she wants to reconcile and give it a shot, this is part of the reason why.
many women do change their mind out of pressure or just plain love.
also in general, whether it is divorce or a family dispute over inheritance or property, lawyers will ask "are you sure? do you want to go for arbitration instead" or something along those lines.
lawyers dislike wishy washy emotional reactive clients and so before filing, will ask multiple times to confirm client commitment. they will also outline what are the consequences and what you are essentially throwing away when it comes to interpersonal relationships -- that is pretty standard from what I understand.
so I thought garv was simply being professional when he was highlighting that she had been married for three years. was she emotionally ready to say goodbye? she wasn't.
also, when it comes to issues like slap, there are a range of reactions. for some, only regular beatings are a problem and defined as violence and an issue to be focused. for some, a slap in a heat of the moment is merely a one-off. this is why you see such scenes in dramas at times such as mother-in-law slapping a daughter-in-law.
many people don't necessarily view a slap as violence or a precursor to danger. instead it is seen as reaction to something stressful. this is why garv asked the friend -- what is going on in your life? has this happened before? and she said that husband is under financial strain because of the loss in business and so has been snappy with her but never violent.
there is also the kind of thinking that because we are culturally dramatic as a people, sometimes, we lose our sense in the heat of the moment but it can be forgiven if there is a sincere apology -- this doesn't just apply to domestic disputes but also stuff like brawls between neighbours in a village/community.
in rural based films/dramas, you will see such scenes where the panchayat (village council) will ask the person to publicly apologize and then the matter is closed. this was why the husband kept saying that he will publicly apologize and he is sorry.
in urban settings, the apology will happen within the police station in front of the officer -- this is what have noticed in dramas/movies. I am not sure if this aspect is real but I have seen it in so many movies/dramas that I am assuming that this informal resolution through apology happens in real life.
also, garv went and beat up the guy -- this is to send the message that the friend has family and friends who will look out for her. usually, that kind of intervention itself is a deterrent. when the husband and his family know that the woman is not alone and she has people who will fight, that can be more effective than any law.
I was talking to a lawyer once and she said that most women find the law ineffective because they don't want the husband punished, they just wanted to be treated with respect and be safe. so she has to explain that is not how law works. law is to punish and not a deterrent. so this is why garv gave that kind of law advice to the friend.
when monica asked if garv would react the same way, his answer was an immediate 'no'. my take is that garv is a hothead when it comes to those he loves and can be very vindictive -- in his case, the weapon is law.
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