Originally posted by: mango.falooda
First of all I am so happy to see you hereπ€
like others here, I think it might be misleading promo as I am not sure what to expect out of this drama so far. generally if it is drama that deals with abuse, usually the drama hints at it very loud and clear straight from the start -- the creepy music, the solo shots of the anti-hero/villain. so the audience is aware of what they are getting into. here, so far, we are getting typical serial entry for garv at the moment. at least this is from the few episodes I have seen. (if I can, I will catch up depending on time but most likely not)
Promos are definitely misleading. Actually so far can't make out where the story goes. I am not sure I can continue the show. But yes I do like Garv here somehow he is like ASR of IPKKND. I mean his attitude his personality etc.
that said, back to your question -- I was trying to figure out how to answer your question without getting into some political debate yesterday. in today's context, many of these words are not only loaded but also have different interpretations depending on which political party/ life experience / community / age / culture you belong to. depending on where we are in the world, things are not so necessarily black and white and neither do we have the same definition for these words.
even within India, we have different definitions for feminism. for some, women's rights can mean access to bathrooms, running water (rural backgrounds). for others, right to education. for some right to marry a groom of their choice within the arranged marriage market, for some, it means a love marriage. for others, it is the right to work. then as we move up the ladder, some think partying is a sign of women's power whereas that has zero relevance for many women. for some women, work has nothing to do with rights but just simply a matter of economic necessities -- if they had a choice, they would love to be a housewife.
Here you are so right. We have so may different definition of feminism. All are having their different perspectives. And yes even I do feel some woman doesn't like to work but because she needs money to survive and to run the house she has to do work or job. Otherwise definitely they would prefer to be a housewife.
then, you take in cultural and community values and beliefs, again, these debates can get coloured in various tones and hues. so it is unclear what these words mean and what context someone is referring to.
now back to your question about garv -- performative feminism or misleading promo?
here is my initial impression: I think like many men in this country, he is probably a bundle of contradictions which is what the serial might be going for. to show the break in dreams and a complicated relationship where he breaks one of her wings but not the other. (see the pic)
Woahhh I didn't find it first. I mean about one broken wing. But yes finally now I can see it clearly after you have specified it. So Garv's character is mysterious so far.
I don't find that strange because I have seen plenty of real life examples of such characters in my family as well as society and that includes my grandfather.
my mom and her sisters have complex feelings towards him -- they remember him both with a wry smile as well as facepalm. π the best way to describe my grandfather is that he was what would be called 'orthodox' in some communities. so he had a list of do's and don'ts and restricted his four daughters.
at the same time, he also went against the grain and educated all of them even though he was told to spend his efforts on raising dowry for them rather than wasting it on education. he didn't listen. he was in a blue collar job and that involved some physical labour -- he pulled in double shifts and took on extra work to educate all his daughters; there was literal sweat and back breaking work involved.
his dowry for them was their bachelor's degree which came in handy later in life. this was back in the day when it was a big deal for guys to have a degree that they would put it on their name plate outside the house. so there weren't that many women studying in colleges then. however, other than the wedding, he didn't have any money to give for their dowry and neither could he give them much jewels.
he was domineering but he also allowed my grandmother to work -- this was decades before there was such a thing as a working woman. while they needed the money, none of his peers and friends who were also in the same economic boat sent their wives to work. my grandmother worked and retired as a primary teacher in a government school.
you know the scene in titli where the uncle cries "izzat!!!" when she calls off the wedding? -- well something similar happened in my family. my mom found out that her fiance was already living with someone in a long-term relationship. so she wanted to call off the engagement -- in those days, that was highly scandalous as an engagement was equivalent to almost wedding. people all screamed "izzat!!!", "what will happen to the other sisters?" etc etc.
despite my grandfather being super conservative, he stood behind his daughter firmly -- he was more offended by this fiance and that family than caring about what it meant in society. just like in the drama, the guy's family threw a fit but he refused to go ahead with the wedding.
now, was he super supportive? sort of. when he would get discouraged by the chatter, he would call her "unlucky" and they would have fights. however, he stood by his decision. he was so worried about her future that he took an unusual move for the time -- he encouraged her to apply for a job even though it was in another city; back in the days, when women only left their father's house when they got married.
because of the scandal, my mom's younger sisters got married first. my mom contributed financially to the weddings and he didn't hide her in some corner. she was there present for everything.
even though he could be super conservative, he was highly religious and believed that God had a purpose for his daughters and he wasn't cursed because he had four of them.
personally, I remember my grandfather with warmth as he was very sweet to me but I can understand why his daughters found him aggravating at times. π granddaughter-grandfather relationship is so much different. ππ
so I share this to give you the context behind my view -- I think most people would be able to relate as things aren't that black and white for them in the real world especially in India. a guy can be super forward thinking in one area and be totally not in another. it isn't performative -- like many aspects of our country, we are chaos personified and we are comfortable with it.
You have described your real life story so well. I mean one can completely relate with it. And I agree in real life we can see plenty of examples like this. Sometimes I do believe that people are so conservative that they can't able to see what is right or wrong. Whatever they think it's completely right that's enough for them.
Here in the story I can see Garv is so soft towards his Badi maa but at the same time he is on angry mood with his father. What's the mystery here will find out soon. But I am not really impressed with Badi maa. I couldn't get it how Garv is attached to her.
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