Nitish Bhaluni (Tapu) on rejecting girls who ignored him

A video by Nitish Bhaluni (Tapu), tagged with #tmkoc, came to my attention on YouTube. I think it's a perfect lesson on how internet media shouldn't be used to share every self-absorbed thought, because the recorded output goes on creating bad impressions long after the impulse to lash out has passed.

The video consists of Nitish Bhaluni gesturing with his hands and face as these subtitles appear: In college, girls didn't reply me back. Now I am an actor. And they are in my rejected request list. The song playing in the background expresses contempt with obscenities, and Nitish Bhaluni gives a V sign and the middle finger.

I am not going to link to the video due to its obscenities, but it can be found on YouTube under shorts with identifier fc_N6QgkJGo or i-R9ewWFoIs

This video troubles me because it implies that girls deserve disrespect simply because they didn't reply to a boy.

I don't want to bash or shame Nitish Bhaluni, because it's only human to remember insults and want to have the last word. If he had simply told the story that girls who ignored him now want to be friends, my reaction would have been: you worked hard and you deserve to feel validated; enjoy the taste of success.

However, by using an offensive song and a crude gesture to express contempt, Nitish Bhaluni shifted my sympathy to the unidentified girls. Sure, they hurt his feelings in the past by ignoring him, but now they're complimenting him, and he could just click Reject, but he's taking pleasure in their disappointment and deliberately telling them off, using the hashtag of his popular show to get their attention.

In the time it took Nitish Bhaluni to create and share this video, he could have thought about why these girls didn't reply to him a few years ago, and why they find him attractive now.

Girls in college, whose parents expect them to focus on studies, may hesitate to encourage boys, but a few years later, when they are women with jobs and freedom, they may come out of their shells and expect the boys to have matured into responsible men too.

If Nitish Bhaluni looks better as a man than as a boy, does that make these young women hypocrites? Is it unforgivably shallow to be attracted to an actor's fame and income? Maybe their messages told Nitish Bhaluni what their personalities are, but he can only work on his own.

Everyone who raises a child into adolescence, teen age, and adulthood has a responsibility to explain that when you express interest in someone, remember: s/he doesn't owe you.

S/he isn't obligated to reply to your greeting, or thank you for a compliment, or smile back. S/he doesn't have to explain that s/he's not into dating or already taken. S/he doesn't need to be taught a lesson someday for not appreciating your charm.

Move on from rejection and try to become a person with more to offer: empathy, kindness, humour, responsibility, hard work, financial stability, health, good looks, style, and the crowning virtue of humility.

I don’t even pay heed to such stupid acts

he is living his “thukrake mera pyaar, mera inteqam dekhegi” moment.

You're right; it isn't serious wrongdoing. I try to follow the rule that actors' personalities and real life activities aren't entertainment for my consumption and evaluation. However, this time I spoke up.

The attitude that rejection deserves revenge is prevalent in Indian movies, right? Maybe not anymore, but over the years I've seen advertisements like this: "He found out she was marrying someone else, and murdered her. Should he really be punished?" I've sat through in-flight movies with scenes like this: "She's mocking his love. He's crying. No wonder she was murdered."

As far as I recall, revenge catches up to fictional men if they seduce and discard women, but revenge falls on fictional women merely for saying no to a decent man's polite proposal.

This is an attitude that society on the whole still needs to unlearn.

I read an article once about how men on matchmaking apps are encouraged by their friends: if a woman stops chatting with you or refuses to meet you, just report her as a fraudulent profile. And those women get banned and blacklisted just because they were choosy.

I know, those are extreme examples of revenge, and making a video to give someone the middle finger is not at all comparable. Still, there are children, adolescents, and teens learning social behaviours right now with Tapu as a role model, and by extension, thinking of Nitish Bhaluni as an example to follow. You aren't paying attention, but they are. I don't want to be passive and complicit. I saw the video, so I spoke against it.

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

You're right; it isn't serious wrongdoing. I try to follow the rule that actors' personalities and real life activities aren't entertainment for my consumption and evaluation. However, this time I spoke up.

The attitude that rejection deserves revenge is prevalent in Indian movies, right? Maybe not anymore, but over the years I've seen advertisements like this: "He found out she was marrying someone else, and murdered her. Should he really be punished?" I've sat through in-flight movies with scenes like this: "She's mocking his love. He's crying. No wonder she was murdered."

As far as I recall, revenge catches up to fictional men if they seduce and discard women, but revenge falls on fictional women merely for saying no to a decent man's polite proposal.

This is an attitude that society on the whole still needs to unlearn.

I read an article once about how men on matchmaking apps are encouraged by their friends: if a woman stops chatting with you or refuses to meet you, just report her as a fraudulent profile. And those women get banned and blacklisted just because they were choosy.

I know, those are extreme examples of revenge, and making a video to give someone the middle finger is not at all comparable. Still, there are children, adolescents, and teens learning social behaviours right now with Tapu as a role model, and by extension, thinking of Nitish Bhaluni as an example to follow. You aren't paying attention, but they are. I don't want to be passive and complicit. I saw the video, so I spoke against it.

I agree, people do speak shit and they should be called out. Specially those who have a platform where their words are given heed and these platforms are misused

I checked his social media profile after reading this. The guy is too full of himself 🤡