Truth and Relationships

Truth and Relationships

Brilliant thoughts, nicely strung together. This is deep stuff requiring some pondering. Will revert after I have had the time to do so.

Originally posted by: aimf

Brilliant thoughts, nicely strung together. This is deep stuff requiring some pondering. Will revert after I have had the time to do so.

@aimf

Thank you for the appreciative comment! 😊

@bigheart

thank you for hitting the like button and conveying your appreciation of the post. I apologize for not being good in acknowledging your appreciation. Your hitting the like button does encourage me to write more! 😊😆

@topic maker - fabulous post! Really enjoyed reading it and the thoughts you've put across and the points you've raised.

As mentioned earlier, this is a wonderful post. Here are my thoughts, better late than never.

In the dharmashastra, a treatise on righteous conduct, there an advice given: satyam bruyat, priyam bruyat; na bruyat satyam api apriyam. It means. "speak the truth, speak it in a way that is pleasant to hear; do not speak things that are unpleasant to hear, even if they are true." The whole gamut of motives of the actors in SWB can be understood in the light of this adage. While we can appreciate this advice and understand why the sages of yore prescribed this as ideal conduct, we can also see that sometimes this advice is misinterpreted, or selectively used to further one's own ends.

Payal thinks that in shielding her parents and natal family from the truth of this marriage, she is following dharma, the righteous conduct of ahimsa, non-injury through words or deeds. Although Payal has not exchanged a single meaningful conversation with her new husband, it is interesting that two out of the three times that she directly addresses him (one time was to give him his morning tea) is for the purposes of eliciting his help in keeping this fiasco of lies and deceit going. What kind of a marriage is it going to be, where the newly married couple participates, not to create a future together, but in fact to create a false idea of a strong marriage and its foundation. Payal's mistake here is in going overboard in protecting her parents. There is a fine line, as you said in your post, between not hurting people and outright lying. Here, I feel that Payal is erring on the side of going overboard with this non-injury thing. It is one thing to be altruistic, but more often than not, the so-called altruistic behavior hides one's own vulnerabilities. In this case, Payal's vulnerability is her parents' lower middle class economic status. In addition to the mental anguish they would undoubtedly go through in hearing of the horror story that is Payal's marriage, Payal thinks that it will also impinge on their financial status. In other words, this wedding will go to waste, and to afford another wedding for her, the father will have to go on working. This is a ridiculous thought, as Payal conveniently forgets that she is not a burden on the family, that she can take care of herself and them too, just as she has been. Instead of living a life of lies, she can hold her head upright and be both a daughter and a son to her parents.

A rather ironic by-product of Payal's lies is that she ends up colluding with the Prasads. Not only are her own value systems compromised, but her actions buttress the motives and evil designs of her in-laws, (rather they should be called "the outlaws!") It is interesting to note that the Prasads who were on edge, and were doing everything to please their new daughter in law, e.g take her a tray of food, appreciate her cooking and her upbringing are now seen breaking down their guard and relaxing. They are beginning to think of her as a harmless (cash) cow, who is malleable and is in agreement with their designs on her money. Now that everything is out in the open, the in-laws are not even hiding anything, and are openly congratulating each other on bringing a sanskari (read having low self esteem and unable to do anything on her own behalf) and earning bahu. After Payal returns from her natal house, the in laws will see that she did not spill the beans to her parents, and they will further dote upon her. But what kind of doting is this? A pack of thieves and liars doting upon their new protege and apprentice? How soon will this adoration give way to hatred and anger? How elastic does Payal's value system have to become in dealing with her in-laws? Where is she going to stop, where is the line? What will she do when she is asked by Ayyo to get him various contracts by nefarious means? If she refuses on the grounds of honesty, will this not directly contradict all the lies she has told her parents? Will not the Prasads rub it in her face?

Another sad by-product of Payal lying and colluding with the in laws is that she is losing an ally in the form of Gulkand. Yes, dear friends, I am afrad that our Gulkand is turning negative. She already had a big chip on her shoulders due to the dowry fiasco and the deceit of Ayyo and Jugs. Now that she sees them play "divide and conquer" and praise Payal to the skies, she is set on making Payal's life hell. This is a strange, but not insignificant twist in the plot. One would have expected Payal and Gulkand to bond, and for the in-laws to give Payal all kinds of trouble, but the opposite has happened, where the in laws are being syrupy sweet, and Gulkand, meanwhile is turning into a live volcano. I do think Gul and Payal will bond, but later on in the plot. Such bonding between women, although much needed, is not so easy in a patriarchal institution, where women are pitted against one another.

Time for bed. Thank you for soliciting my ideas and for writing this wonderful post. Om shantih

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Post and discussions...

@aimf and @skar thank you for taking the time to write insightful posts and sharing your thoughts.

Excellent post. It's very deep and thought provocating, hope you appreciate my simple contribution, I can't put it as eloquently and insightful as the rest 😆