A Weak Man Makes a Woman Love Him and Walks Away on Nuptial Night

A Weak Man Makes a Woman Love Him and Walks Away on Nuptial Night

Yes...yes...

Thank you for waiting - it is up!!😊

Well written Meena 👏

Great post.

Dev is an escapist. Right from childhood, he has lived in his own world, daydreaming of things that mattered to him. He is a do-gooder and a people-pleaser. Although genuinely a dharmic person, one can also discern the pressure to be good in him --it is an important coping mechanism. It is almost as though he is subconsciously striving to make up for the rotten behaviours and value system of his family. They say "when the going gets tough, the 'tough' get going," and that is exactly what happenedin the last episode. Usually a good mediator and quick to rise to rescue of the underdog (that he must somwhere recognise within himself), Dev could not stand the onslaught of arrows of truth coming from Gulkand's revelations. Everyone was culpable --his brother, mother, father, even his baby sister.

That Dev would be filled with shame and guilt after finding out the gory truth of his family is expected However, his hightailing it out of the venue and subsequently getting drunk and feeling sorry for himself shows that he, too, is a chip of the old block. Being socialized in that toxic milieu, Dev has picked up self-pity, which is a coping mechanism of all narcissistic behaviors. Although he is not a narcissist himself, he is rehearsing the familial pattern of immediately feeling wounded, as a convenient way deflect his responsibility from the situation at hand. This mechanism is practiced by Jug and Ayyo routinely. In yesterday's episode I was by the fact that Dev's drunken and dramatic rant sounded just like his father --Natru Prasad Nautanki.

For those of us who kept thinking that Dev's character is too good to be true, we saw the chinks in his armor --he is not only weak-willed and lacking in discernment, he is also unable to face difficult situations and take responsibility for them. A better choice in action would have been to take Payal with him and spend the day with her elsewhere, like in a restaurant or a hotel, and assure her of his support, and perhaps decide with her to live separately. But this is a long way off from where Dev is right now.

I must say Abhishek is a really good actor --without overdoing the scenes, he communicates the hesitancy and the general immaturity of Dev very well.

Also in the precap, we have more dynamics of dysfunction. I wished to write a longer piece on it, but do not have the energy. However Kratika looked exceedingly pretty in the precap, and reminded me of her role as Arati in PV. Goodnight and namaste. Om shantih.

Anjali and @aimf

Originally posted by: anonee

A Weak Man Makes a Woman Love Him and Walks Away on Nuptial Night

What a twisted wedding experience for Payal!

First the mixed joy of first love and sorrow of parting from her family. Then the encounter with Rajesh, next the sound of someone getting beaten up followed by Gulkand's grand expose! The curtain that covered her in-laws were down - and her perception of Dev had changed. But then at the Muh Dikhayi even more was revealed - Dev was clueless about the plotting, deceit and lies to get Payal as a SWB. After insisting that he be told the truth - what did Dev do when he came to know some of the deceit - he WALKED out! Leaving Payal alone on their nuptial night in his house within hours of entry.

What is he thinking?

He was attracted to her. He chased her and was unwilling to accept defeat. He was over the moon that his father had arranged for him to marry her. Then he chased her some more even though he was warned not to by her mom. He met with her boss's boss and got her transfer cancelled. He kept pestering her with phone calls. He bought her gifts and flowers.

His persistence made Payal realize he cared about her and that made her open up to him, trust him, and stir up love for him. Only to realize on her wedding night that he was not there for her!! He was not capable of consoling her - of making her feel welcomed in his life - of feeling loved!!

The truth is - Dev loves Payal with all his heart and is too weak to admit it to himself or to her. Because he feels cheated by his parents and siblings - cheated by his own inability to confront them today and the previous days of his life - cheated by the feelings of fear filled loyalty to them - cheated by all the brain washing that his father's evil thoughts and deeds have done to him.

Only a weak man can make a woman love him and then mess it all up.

We humans are terribly complex - so I am not saying that what I write is that which is going through Dev mind (It may be messier - it all depends on the CVs 😉).

Dev when he fell in love with Payal and pursed her - overlooked one important factor - the complexity of his environment in which he lives - the extent to which each member of his family was (or is) dysfunctional and greedy. He deliberately chose to avoid questioning them and ignored all of the ongoing in-house drama and over-simplified his life to Payal! He never fully understood what it means to love someone - to marry someone - or to live a married life with someone!

If he was truly mature - he would have chosen to stay with the one (Payal) he loves instead of walking out on her. I say truly mature because he was unable to face reality. Reality was more complex than the simplified version he had visualized in his mind and so he walked out on her.

Dev is now wavering between the person he has always been (a needy kid desperate to be accepted by his dad -afraid of confrontation with his family) and the better person he knows he could become and wants to become for himself and Payal.

But he is filled with shame - ashamed about his family - and so he decides to break the heart of the woman he loves (Payal). The truth is in breaking her heart, he is breaking his own.

The problem is she can run away from him and stay away - but he cannot run away from himself or his family.

BUT there is a way out for Dev - and that is not to give up on himself. Face the situation and not give in to defeat. NOT to allow his insecurities and weaknesses overcome him and decide the course of his life. He has achieved a lot - he has achieved the love and respect of Payal who is ready to walk the treacherous road ahead with him. He has to just hold on to her and support her on their road to freedom.

Thanks Meena for this awesome post.

Yes he is filled with shame and finds it difficult to face her and the worst emotion to experience...to escape is to drink...and that is what Dev does on his first night as he is unable to handle the siuation...leaving Payal to face it all alone.

How Payal is going to handle the situation...Gulkand with the family and Dev's guilt...will be interesting to watch.😃

Originally posted by: aimf

Great post.

Dev is an escapist. Right from childhood, he has lived in his own world, daydreaming of things that mattered to him. He is a do-gooder and a people-pleaser. Although genuinely a dharmic person, one can also discern the pressure to be good in him --it is an important coping mechanism. It is almost as though he is subconsciously striving to make up for the rotten behaviours and value system of his family. They say "when the going gets tough, the 'tough' get going," and that is exactly what happenedin the last episode. Usually a good mediator and quick to rise to rescue of the underdog (that he must somwhere recognise within himself), Dev could not stand the onslaught of arrows of truth coming from Gulkand's revelations. Everyone was culpable --his brother, mother, father, even his baby sister.

That Dev would be filled with shame and guilt after finding out the gory truth of his family is expected However, his hightailing it out of the venue and subsequently getting drunk and feeling sorry for himself shows that he, too, is a chip of the old block. Being socialized in that toxic milieu, Dev has picked up self-pity, which is a coping mechanism of all narcissistic behaviors. Although he is not a narcissist himself, he is rehearsing the familial pattern of immediately feeling wounded, as a convenient way deflect his responsibility from the situation at hand. This mechanism is practiced by Jug and Ayyo routinely. In yesterday's episode I was by the fact that Dev's drunken and dramatic rant sounded just like his father --Natru Prasad Nautanki.

For those of us who kept thinking that Dev's character is too good to be true, we saw the chinks in his armor --he is not only weak-willed and lacking in discernment, he is also unable to face difficult situations and take responsibility for them. A better choice in action would have been to take Payal with him and spend the day with her elsewhere, like in a restaurant or a hotel, and assure her of his support, and perhaps decide with her to live separately. But this is a long way off from where Dev is right now.

I must say Abhishek is a really good actor --without overdoing the scenes, he communicates the hesitancy and the general immaturity of Dev very well.

Also in the precap, we have more dynamics of dysfunction. I wished to write a longer piece on it, but do not have the energy. However Kratika looked exceedingly pretty in the precap, and reminded me of her role as Arati in PV. Goodnight and namaste. Om shantih.

Originally posted by: anonee

Anjali and @aimf

Good night for now - I will reply tomorrow.

In a couple of days I begin another travel filled month. I may visit the forum in a sporadic manner depending on time and network connection.

Originally posted by: aimf

Great post.

Dev is an escapist. Right from childhood, he has lived in his own world, daydreaming of things that mattered to him. He is a do-gooder and a people-pleaser. Although genuinely a dharmic person, one can also discern the pressure to be good in him --it is an important coping mechanism. It is almost as though he is subconsciously striving to make up for the rotten behaviours and value system of his family. They say "when the going gets tough, the 'tough' get going," and that is exactly what happenedin the last episode. Usually a good mediator and quick to rise to rescue of the underdog (that he must somwhere recognise within himself), Dev could not stand the onslaught of arrows of truth coming from Gulkand's revelations. Everyone was culpable --his brother, mother, father, even his baby sister.

That Dev would be filled with shame and guilt after finding out the gory truth of his family is expected However, his hightailing it out of the venue and subsequently getting drunk and feeling sorry for himself shows that he, too, is a chip of the old block. Being socialized in that toxic milieu, Dev has picked up self-pity, which is a coping mechanism of all narcissistic behaviors. Although he is not a narcissist himself, he is rehearsing the familial pattern of immediately feeling wounded, as a convenient way deflect his responsibility from the situation at hand. This mechanism is practiced by Jug and Ayyo routinely. In yesterday's episode I was by the fact that Dev's drunken and dramatic rant sounded just like his father --Natru Prasad Nautanki.

For those of us who kept thinking that Dev's character is too good to be true, we saw the chinks in his armor --he is not only weak-willed and lacking in discernment, he is also unable to face difficult situations and take responsibility for them. A better choice in action would have been to take Payal with him and spend the day with her elsewhere, like in a restaurant or a hotel, and assure her of his support, and perhaps decide with her to live separately. But this is a long way off from where Dev is right now.

I must say Abhishek is a really good actor --without overdoing the scenes, he communicates the hesitancy and the general immaturity of Dev very well.

Also in the precap, we have more dynamics of dysfunction. I wished to write a longer piece on it, but do not have the energy. However Kratika looked exceedingly pretty in the precap, and reminded me of her role as Arati in PV. Goodnight and namaste. Om shantih.

Haila...I really wanted someone to highlight...on Dev getting drunk...beautifully explained with a touch of humour 😆...👏