indian weddings parents give to much pressure to their daughter - Page 2

Originally posted by: Angel_Arya

I agree with all your views...[:)

Deviating a bit from the show,what if a boy was there in place of Payal?Will he do the same or he would call off the marriage?Will he not think of the society?Will he not think about his family?

If it was a boy, it is more likely that the boy will call off the wedding. While society does expect boys to eventually get married, there isn't as much of a burden on them or their parents to get them married off quickly. A wedding breaking, that too broken from the groom's side, does not become as much as a detriment in finding other marriage proposals. Plus, boys have age on their side while for girls, there is the burden of getting married before it becomes too late.

Even in this show, if Dev comes to know Payal and her family are fraudsters, there will be nothing to stop him from disclosing this to his family. His care for the family will also fuel him to tell because he wouldn't then want the girl to end up troubling the family. If his family had been caring and not greedy, they wouldn't hesitate to call off the wedding either.

Originally posted by: S.Stephy

If it was a boy, it is more likely that the boy will call off the wedding. While society does expect boys to eventually get married, there isn't as much of a burden on them or their parents to get them married off quickly. A wedding breaking, that too broken from the groom's side, does not become as much as a detriment in finding other marriage proposals. Plus, boys have age on their side while for girls, there is the burden of getting married before it becomes too late.

Even in this show, if Dev comes to know Payal and her family are fraudsters, there will be nothing to stop him from disclosing this to his family. His care for the family will also fuel him to tell because he wouldn't then want the girl to end up troubling the family. If his family had been caring and not greedy, they wouldn't hesitate to call off the wedding either.

Originally posted by: Angel_Arya

I agree to your reasonings but those are traditonal old views.In today's society,it isn't easy for boy to call off the wedding.Some girls torture the groom and groom's family by framing them in false cases of dowry and other crimes related to women.The Police in such situation takes immediate action and the boy and his family are left with no choice.Some women use the laws made for the welfare for their selfish needs.These are the things I have been reading in newspapers and seeing in news.

I agree with this... girls and their families with money and clout can make it tough for boys. And unfortunately, these laws make it difficult for some innocent, good-hearted boys and their families. But somehow, I don't think simple middle-class girls like Payal and her family would be courageous to take law's help even when they are victims let alone to abuse such laws.

In today's scenario,when girls are giving more importance to getting educated and earning a good job, the age doesn't become a barrier nor the society. One can even see that in the show,Payal's father refused one earlier proposal for Payal because they demanded dowry.This time also if they would have known the truth,the marriage would have been called off.A broken marriage is not good for both the bride and the groom especially when the groom is jobless and doesn't match the qualities with that of the bride.

@bold: it does become a barrier atleast in small towns and in the context of arranged marriage systems. Of course, not in every case... there are always real inspirational stories that break these moulds but then there are many who face a lot of pressures because of these societal norms and expectations.

Regarding Dev,I believe if he would have been in that position,he wouldn't have called off the marriage.He was too much in love with Payal and even prposed her without knowing anything about her.That time he didn't know what his family was thinking either.

That's totally my opinion.

My reply in italics.

Originally posted by: RoxyC

every serial i see that. whether its educated girl or not same result. they give so much pressure to the girl that they don't have any choice. they feel obligated. it bothers me when i see girl side are begging to the groom's family all the time. why do they have to agree everything what groom side ask for it. don't you have your own mind how you want to marry your daughter? they are affraid of what if wedding gets cancelled if they don't listen to them. and then people will talk about it. who cares?people are not giving you food or shelter. you cannot ruin your daughters life because of those people. let the dog bark. payel should have told her family the truth. but again we cannot blame her because mother of her would not understand. she worries to much about her neighbor what they will talk.no matter what as long as her daughter is married it matters to her. very sad. payel is an educated girl she deserves better. and i am hoping fm her to stand up and get some answers fm her in-laws.

I often feel like banging my head against the wall when I watch mother's like Mrs Rai on tv. I get annoyed with Desi soaps but then I think - characterisation is magnified for the audience, given an over the top affect, but deep down some of it is true and exists within the society, even today.

And I wouldn't just call this a problem with Indian weddings or parents alone, I think it's more of a South Asian problem. Even today parents place a heavy burden on their daughters, expecting them to be married with kids by a certain age otherwise society will talk. Very unfortunate mentality but sadly a reality.

Of course not all parents are the same but many girls today do have to face the pressures that Payal has now been acquainted with. It's the pressure of saving face for your parents. Making sure that their name isn't spoilt.

Too much pressure to make a marriage work or build relations with difficult in-laws. And most of these girls keep it to themselves and battle alone because they don't want to disappoint their family. I would like to hope that it changes but we are in 2015 and still girls are facing similar issues. Makes you wonder...

Originally posted by: ..Bohemian..

I often feel like banging my head against the wall when I watch mother's like Mrs Rai on tv. I get annoyed with Desi soaps but then I think - characterisation is magnified for the audience, given an over the top affect, but deep down some of it is true and exists within the society, even today.

And I wouldn't just call this a problem with Indian weddings or parents alone, I think it's more of a South Asian problem. Even today parents place a heavy burden on their daughters, expecting them to be married with kids by a certain age otherwise society will talk. Very unfortunate mentality but sadly a reality.

Of course not all parents are the same but many girls today do have to face the pressures that Payal has now been acquainted with. It's the pressure of saving face for your parents. Making sure that their name isn't spoilt.

Too much pressure to make a marriage work or build relations with difficult in-laws. And most of these girls keep it to themselves and battle alone because they don't want to disappoint their family. I would like to hope that it changes but we are in 2015 and still girls are facing similar issues. Makes you wonder...

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