Posted:
Hi All,
I've been following SWB from the start and I was drawn to it for the fact that it is dealing with a very real, bitter truth. Previously - getting married for a girl meant bagging a well established suitor based on her looks. Then the list went onto include looks and how much her family was willing to offer - i mean "gift" to the bride, groom and groom's family. Not too long ago in addition to the aforementioned criteria education was tacked on - the more educated the more marketable the girl is on the marriage market.
Now educated girls that have good jobs and earn well are seen as more lucrative prospects as their salary is now a form of "dowry" Forget that a well educated, well earning girl isn't seen as a partner in marriage - if boys are expected to earn well and provide - i'm sure there are a number of men who would like to pursue artistic/ lesser paid careers but can't due to societal pressures expecting the male to be a provider - but that's going into a whole other discussion.
The premise of my post today is to talk about Payal's mom's comment regarding her transfer - "quit ur job we can't afford to miss out on this alliance" or something to that effect.
While I get that the show is supposedly showing a smaller town where people are still conservative and not as progressive in thought - yet - that comment is just ludicrous. I just can't fathom WHY marriage is seen as the end all be all for girls. Payal is a well educated, principled professional who is shown to enjoy her career. She takes pride in her achievements doesn't appear to be lacking anything in life.
My impression is she's getting married or is open to the idea of marriage because its something that is EXPECTED of her - based on her background that's what girls do - grow up, get an education maybe a decent job but the ultimate goal is to be married.
I know this show is dealing with the concept of "servicewali bahu" but Id really like to see a show that delves deeper into this mindset - that a career oriented girl is quite content in being engrossed in her career and her family is supportive of her choices regardless of what society says.
Why is career or professional ambitions always treated as a lesser priority for girls when it comes to career vs marriage. I'm not saying all girls are like that - they are certainly not but the attitude of society certainly is - girl grows up, gets a degree maybe even a job but society only looks at that as stepping stones to bagging a well to do suitor. Why is the attitude always - work and all is fine but ultimately a girl's place is at home in the kitchen raising children.
I really feel that needs to change - also Indu's extremely regressive thoughts - bahu's must wear saris, girls need to get married, marriage more important than job - while i get that these are a reflection of the sensibilities of a certain strata of society - I'd also like to see the show address how this needs change - its very tiresome on the girl.
Another point that comes to mind - that again is a reflection of society but needs to be addressed is Payal's salary - she gives pocket money to everyone (she clearly doesn't have much expenses) and her mom stops her saying once she's married her salary spending is at her in-laws discretion. ARE U SERIOUS?!!! She worked hard, got the degrees, does the job with utmost sincerity and integrity and now her husband and inlaws get a say in what she does with her money?!!!
I'm surprised Payal didn't say - its my hardwork and hard earned money - what I choose to do with it is my business and no one else's. If I want to spend it on myself, my family or donate it - my wish my choice - no one gets a say in this but me. I really hope they show her standing up and saying this at some point - because that is true - why should anyone get a say in what she does with her money!?
Thanks for reading guys and do share your thoughts!
comment:
p_commentcount