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Dowry in the name if 'servicewali bahu' is the new age, modern day way of getting dowry today. It is the most respectable way of receiving dowry. I know a family where the FIL takes whole salary that the DIL earns and give her a lowly couple of thousands for her own kharcha. She cannot spend her own money.
I am not saying that the salary a DIL earns cannot be spent on her inlaws, but it should be spent by the DIL herself on her own terms, just as her husband does.
She must have the freedom to help her parents financial if the need arises. A DIL is not a commodity. But in India she is many a times treated as one. She is treated as a means to an end. I know one acquaintance who work abroad and stayed there alone for a couple of years with his family staying in India. After returning he got an opportunity again but said he wont go alone. We thought wow he misses his wife so much.. But in the next breath he said I cannot do house work, wash clothes, iron, clean the house..so if my wife can come along I will go. We felt truly disgusted!
So be it for monetary gains or being treated as a mere commodity a DIL is treated as a free of charge helper in many cases...
Forgive me for my sketchy writing but your views and experiences on this topic are welcome! 😊
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