Can we cut her some slack ?? - Page 2

Originally posted by: HeartQuake

More like Dr. Sid and Dr. Asha forgot. 🤔 It was height of unprofessionalism by these two to turn like a pair of jokers with garland, Tilak and Mithai ka dabba jaise ki koi chawl ho , na ki hospital , at the gate and make a circus out of it. Dr. Shashank and Dr. Juhi rightfully mentioned that this is a hospital , not their house.

DR. Shashank disappointed me too , Ishani was there for him during his critical brain tumor period and now that she needs a shoulder to cry on , or at least some sort of support , kind words , she gets nothing from him.

I don't think she made a scene anywhere any time , she was properly professional in front of the patients where it counts , putting aside her personal grief and doing her duty steadfastly . I admire her even more for her tenacity . And No I disagree with you that she perhaps could've taken a day off or two to lick her open wounds. There's a difference between other professional fields and clinical medicine . One can not just just take a leave . At least not a doctor who is as devoted and passionate about her job as Dr. Ishani. She did left early on the 1st day , saying to Dr. Juhi, " I'm sorry pad mera dimaag kaam nehi kar raha hai.. " But next day she had to come because ( I'm speaking from experience ) there are always scheduled OTs , for which there has been weeks or even months of preparation going beforehand and patient is admitted on a particular day and he's to be operated on the scheduled date . Also there are cases which only the attending doctor can understand and treat best , because she/ he would be knowing all the minute details about the patient and can follow up or diagnose any progression or regression immediately . If she hands over to some colleague even with detailed information and notes , it wouldn't be the same. Of course many doctors don't care about such things and for them , their personal grief would've prevailed at a time like this. But not the good ones. Definitely not the great ones.

You call it unprofessionalism , I call it an admirable example of devotion and dedication towards her patients , the fact that she got up, dressed up , turned up and attended. It's a mark of how strong she actually is under her gentle exterior. Any one lesser than Dr. Ishani would've curled up in bed and cry and cry .

So what if she bursts into tears in private at times ?? No harm done. She's doing her work and that's the only thing matters for her patients and yes , for a doctor , only their opinion matters.

To quote Ishani herself, " Jab Patient hi nehi bachega to kya tera kya mera. "

Great points.. Do you approve her following Sid-Asha for answer(s) even after that GRAND humiliation? That too in the hospital? And throwing the glass of water in rage, making noise in the public place? I don't, and I am associated with medical field..!

Also, multitasking is an imaginary term.. in reality brain focuses on a single thing at a time.. if I know a doctor is going through a sudden emotional outbursts, I would like that person to stay away from any critical case (surgery for sure) until that person gathers herself.. because it can put the patient at risk and no doctor would want that..

Originally posted by: hi50

Great points.. Do you approve her following Sid-Asha for answer(s) even after that GRAND humiliation? That too in the hospital? And throwing the glass of water in rage, making noise in the public place? I don't, and I am associated with medical field..!

Also, multitasking is an imaginary term.. in reality brain focuses on a single thing at a time.. if I know a doctor is going through a sudden emotional outbursts, I would like that person to stay away from any critical case (surgery for sure) until that person gathers herself.. because it can put the patient at risk and no doctor would want that..

Oh most certainly I do. Because I'm a practical person and for me , fickle ego is not more important than my mental peace and sanity and yes in a similar situation ANY PERSON would behave exactly like Dr. Ishani , that is seeking an answer , an explanation because that'll give her closure . It is essential for one to move on and that's what we all want for her don't we ! That she moves on. A heart break without closure clouds a persons subconscious and conscious mind years after , sometimes for the entire life , when the mind is plagued with what ifs and how the hell and why not etc. Better to have a clean cut than a festering wound. She is not exactly begging Dr. Sid to take him back and Asha to become her friends again. Far from that . She just needs to how and why .

And if she tries to move on and let Dr. Sid and Dr. Asha off the hook without holding them accountable and trying to extract an answer , I would call that a coward's way out . Because only cowards quit like that.

Oh she broke that glass in a public place did she ?? The way I saw there was no one around and it was a deserted corridor of sorts . Also , most of the time she'd a break down she was alone . Good for her that she let out some stream. It wasn't the ward .

When some one does you wrong and short changes you , asking for explanation is not an act of weakness , but not asking for it surely is . She knows she's the innocent party and the other two did her wrong.

At this rate , expression of human expression in a hospital setting will be considered weakness and unprofessionalism , which is far from the real situation .

Who says Ishani is multi tasking ?? In fact , when she's at work she's pretty absorbed and she must be as efficient as ever , or the likes of Varbhan would've definitely noticed and raised a question or two.

Now we can not imagine her lack of best skills and patient care and thereby equally imaginary risk towards patients to suit an argument can we ?? Also , whether you'll trust such a doctor or not , is completely upto you. Doesn't make that universal opinion. Because most doctors have this in built ability to focus only on patient's life and the case at hand when they're in their doctor mode on , it's part of their psyche, their training . I've seen doctors working one day after they've lost their spouse or children, and of course parents , and yet work like any other day . I've myself worked on the day I lost my grandfather and yes I was occasionally bursting into tears as I was very close to him , but my work quality can not be questioned by most harsh of critics. Just that I was more mechanical and less smiley. Just another day of high stress for a doctor.

In fact , a doctor heals better when he / she is contact with patients . Firstly , it keeps him distracted from whatever was clouding his / her mind ( it applies to all sorts of work and not just medicine I suppose. ) and 2ndly, reminds him, that their lives mean so much more for so many people. The whole broad outlook approach.

So you see , it was not just the noble thing to do , but also the smart thing to do. Atta girl Ishani !

Originally posted by: HeartQuake

I watched the scene twice and now I've realized some thing . Even as a friend and colleague she has a right to ask some questions and demand answers . If I know two of my very close friends who were never in a relationship before , got married all on a sudden and they never told me nothing , I'd totally be shocked and think that they never trusted me or really considered me as their friend.

Yes , she shouldn't have mentioned the confession in drunk state for her own good but I totally understand her reactions. She'd no time to gather herself around the shock of such a thing , no time to pull herself together to form a cold , distant , stiff and dignified response to this utter nonsense.

Why is Dr. Ishani expected to behave in a ceratin way when others get a wide pass , remind me again ??? Dr. Sid and Dr. Asha were looking comic with garlands around their neck , with tilak and standing at the doorway with Mithai ka dabba like a pair of jokers . DR. Sid even insisted on feeding apna Ishani apne hathon se..

Is nobody going to say nothing about that ?? If they'd announced the marriage privately in the resting room or conference room or canteen , there wouldn't have such a big mess . But no , ye dono to ghar se hi nikle the ye thhan ke , ki aj Ishani ko sabke samne insult karna hai aur usko nicha dikhana hai aur emotionally ruin karna hai !

@Bold: I don't think Sid Asha are getting a free pass in the forum. You can see multiple posts bashing them and even to the extent that people want a new guy for Ishani

Originally posted by: KootyPai

@Bold: I don't think Sid Asha are getting a free pass in the forum. You can see multiple posts bashing them and even to the extent that people want a new guy for Ishani

Of course every one wants a new guy for Ishani. Dr. Sid is as off now married and he has an intention of keeping this marriage thing , whatever it is , real or fake , by the looks of it. So no body wants him anywhere near Ishani as of now. It's not about whether we like him or not , he's out of it.

But I think , the point I was trying to make here was that , Dr. Sid and Dr. Ishani should be held to similar standards of behavior within the hospital premises. Dr. Sid was dancing with nurse Philla in a open place where there was at least 3 other people I could see staring at them in the bg , when he got the news of finding Niti a liver donor ( episode 12 or nearby) . I didn't see anyone questioning him. This is one of many examples. It's always about his bigger faults , like money scam or marriage scam that has been talked about and his general ways were written off the hook as part of his "charm" .

So he's allowed to express his joy the way he wants and Ishani can not express her frustrations , inside the hospital??

This was so needed. I ain't against the fact that the marriage track in the hospital went a bit overboard as a doctor but Ishani's behavior after the initial shock was pretty much justified. I guess bashing her just because she's been running behind Sid is a bit too much.

As people keep suggesting that she should find someone better, I'd like to say that you DO NOT fall out of love that easily. It's not a crush or a mere small likability that would take a few months to wave off of her psyche. A true felt affection is something very very strong , a feeling that resides within your very soul.

Sid's behavior might not be justified from Ishani's view but as a person he is bound to create a wall around himself to not let himself fall in love with anyone in order to avoid hurting or being hurt which is completely natural. His ways of doing things is a bit overboard though.

I personally LOVE the way Surbhi has been showing the emotions on-screen , it almost feels real and is justified. Heartbreaks suck !

And being a bit needy with insecurity is what it brings within you. I have no qualms with the track apart from the unnecessary marriage of Asha and Sid that happened absolutely out of no where and all of sudden. They just need to build up the story line and characters before the change for example Asha turning negative within five mins of an episode is a bit unhealthy for me.

I think I disagree with you. Just caught up with episodes. But I think I don’t think Ishani has that kind of right to expect anything from Sid. For days prior she knew he was running away from his feelings for her. She got a confession out of him while he was drunk and vulnerable. But the thing is just because someone has feelings for you doesn’t mean they have to act on it or owe you anything.

To me, Ishani was kind of unfair in the way she was pursuing Sid. She really made it difficult for him. Some of it was cutesy but a lot of it was immature. But I think after hearing his fears I would have expected a little more patience. Expecting that he comes to the dinner that night is a little quick. (Part of it could be the way they have fast forwarded the love story for trps). But to me it made Ishani seem emotionally immature. She is like a child with her first crush. She wants him so she thinks she can be angry that he isn’t doing what she wants. To me that isn’t right. He never made promises to her that she would be right to have an expectation from him in terms of love.

Of course it’s sad for her. And I can empathize and sympathize with her. The hospital scene would be harsh to experience. But I am not sure another person in a similar situation would necessarily react the same way. Most would have probably left the scene and maybe confronted them more privately. Sid and Asha were announcing their wedding to their colleagues. In of itself that’s not something that can be faulted.

I feel like more than love, it is friendship (particularly Asha’s) that she maybe had a right to expect more from.

Originally posted by: malikakas

I think I disagree with you. Just caught up with episodes. But I think I don’t think Ishani has that kind of right to expect anything from Sid. For days prior she knew he was running away from his feelings for her. She got a confession out of him while he was drunk and vulnerable. But the thing is just because someone has feelings for you doesn’t mean they have to act on it or owe you anything.

To me, Ishani was kind of unfair in the way she was pursuing Sid. She really made it difficult for him. Some of it was cutesy but a lot of it was immature. But I think after hearing his fears I would have expected a little more patience. Expecting that he comes to the dinner that night is a little quick. (Part of it could be the way they have fast forwarded the love story for trps). But to me it made Ishani seem emotionally immature. She is like a child with her first crush. She wants him so she thinks she can be angry that he isn’t doing what she wants. To me that isn’t right. He never made promises to her that she would be right to have an expectation from him in terms of love.

Of course it’s sad for her. And I can empathize and sympathize with her. The hospital scene would be harsh to experience. But I am not sure another person in a similar situation would necessarily react the same way. Most would have probably left the scene and maybe confronted them more privately. Sid and Asha were announcing their wedding to their colleagues. In of itself that’s not something that can be faulted.

I feel like more than love, it is friendship (particularly Asha’s) that she maybe had a right to expect more from.

Since I never said DR. Sid owe anything towards Dr. Ishani as a lover , in fact far from it , I really don't know what are you talking about . I think either you din't read my post , or missed the entire point of this post. I've said it again and again that Dr. Sid never promised her anything and therefore he is a free agent and not committed to her. So I don't know why you wrote the same points over here as if I disagree on that.

What I find stupid and unrealistic is the expectation that Dr. Ishani shouldn't react when she lost her love and friendship in one go in a terrible manner in one fell swipe. That's not how it happens in real life and there's also this fact that we've no right to tell her when and how she should move on. Whether she should move on at all. WE can not tell her to get over it and get on with it so soon because it suits us to see a ice maiden . Real people when in true love and facing heartbreak react viscerally . They do weird crazy things. Go into depression for a long time. Get drunk or sloshed. Quit job or even city to escape from the haunting memories. Cry non stop. Do wild partying . Stalk their ex for months. Develop self worth issues. All these happen and not how we coolly expect her to shake hands with SidAsha at the moment they announced their marriage ( if you say it is ok for doctors to announce their marriage , which is very much a part of their private life at the hospital gate , then I've nothing more to say. Argument will be futile. There is a time and place for everything. ).

We blame ITV for not being "real" , not digging deep , not staying true to our real world and yet we are ashamed / annoyed / afraid of watching organic characters . We'd rather watch perfect deities kicking butts. No wonder most of the ITV FLs are such put ons Mary Sue.

Do I find Ishani flawless ?? Nope. And thank God she's not . Thank God she's very much human and full of human follies and weaknesses. Which is what makes her so interesting, adorable and ultimately a great watch. Do I find her real ?? Extremely. She's a flesh and blood FL, as I'm seeing after a long time in ITV and I'm hooked.

Ishani is in fact getting better at handling the situation , at a rate quicker than I'd like to see. I'd have rather made her pine and hanker after SidAsha for a while more , because that'd have been so much more refreshing watch than a heroine who gets her pieces together so soon.But then I guess they've to cater to all sorts of viewers .

The way she left the room and went to some where private to let herself feel the blow of Asha's pregnancy news is something I really liked . Also , the way she offered lift to Asha when she was tired and queasy and how she explained her help - another thing I liked. I suspect some might've wished she'd avoided these two altogether , but I'm not one of them . I'm glad that she deeply cares for Asha in every step of the way , because that's what makes her who she is - her core character trait is that of immense selfless care and unconditional love . It'd have been a shame if her heartbreak would've rendered her an ice maiden. That's why she deserve to be the protagonist .

Otherwise why'd we root for her and not Asha , who is also pretty and capable ?? It's the heart that makes the difference. Ishani is a better doctor not just for her skills , but for her these qualities , her compassion , she's the better person. Exactly the difference between Dr. Rishav and Dr. Sid ( of the earlier episodes anyways. )

Dr. SId and Dr. Asha , especially Dr. Asha is still supposed to be her friend when the marriage happens and if you say she's no right for an answer , I won't argue . Only that I disagree . I earlier said in the forum that Ishani is mourning the loss of trust and her friendship at least as much as her first love and today's episode has proved me correct beyond any doubt. The moment she heard the entire story , she first reaction was immense relief and she immediately forgave them ( much to the chagrin of many I'd presume ) because she got the explanation she needed , and she knew that at least Asha was not sleeping around with Dr. Sid , all the while egging Ishani on to act on her feelings and keeping it all a secret like a backstabber. This small thing lessened her pain. Please note , she claimed to be their support system , which means she will be in on a project that'd drive her permanently away from Dr. Sid and she's ok with it . Isn't that a cool thing ?? I couldn't be the only one thinking like this ?? Yes , she shouldn't forgive Sid at all for his uncalled for brutal humiliation in public . In fact , he should just leave her alone and not follow her with paper bags in close door rooms. He's a married now after all.

But at least she's being the bigger person and if you have to a loser , better not to be the sore loser. If she keeps on sulking or staying aloof from them , it'd be making it painfully obvious that she's being just that. After all they've common friends and work in the same work unit and same hospital and right now the situation is so toxic that either she quits Sanjivani ( many does so , to avoid a messy work environment. ) or she works with their team , thereby showing Dr. Sid that he's not important enough for her to not to forgive her best friend over it. It's like saying , " See ?? You didn't need to do that little flash marriage and public humiliation drama. If you'd only explained I'd have been their for you guys anyways , supporting you all the way in any case for my best friend and not tried to stop you like a despo. "

Originally posted by: HeartQuake

Since I never said DR. Sid owe anything towards Dr. Ishani as a lover , in fact far from it , I really don't know what are you talking about . I think either you din't read my post , or missed the entire point of this post. I've said it again and again that Dr. Sid never promised her anything and therefore he is a free agent and not committed to her. So I don't know why you wrote the same points over here as if I disagree on that.

The reason I brought it up is because I think it matters in how justified you can find Ishani in her reactions. If she was never promised love by Sid then it determines whether she has the right to really demand an explanation from him publicly which in turn affects people's reactions to how she behaved in that sequence.

What I find stupid and unrealistic is the expectation that Dr. Ishani shouldn't react when she lost her love and friendship in one go in a terrible manner in one fell swipe. That's not how it happens in real life and there's also this fact that we've no right to tell her when and how she should move on. Whether she should move on at all. WE can not tell her to get over it and get on with it so soon because it suits us to see a ice maiden . Real people when in true love and facing heartbreak react viscerally . They do weird crazy things. Go into depression for a long time. Get drunk or sloshed. Quit job or even city to escape from the haunting memories. Cry non stop. Do wild partying . Stalk their ex for months. Develop self worth issues. All these happen and not how we coolly expect her to shake hands with SidAsha at the moment they announced their marriage.

So I don't disagree with you about the complexity of an emotional reaction after a heartbreak. The only thing I would say is that this felt more like crush than a true love because of the rapid speed at which the makers chose to develop it. They have only known each other for a few months and haven't actually been in a relationship. Plus he has been running away for weeks in which cases most people would have mentally prepared themselves, somewhat, for a disappointment (especially when he didn't show up the night before). So it felt a bit extreme in that context.

But I would say the point they have been trying to show us all along is that Ishani is not typical in terms of emotional or social intelligence. She is almost being written as someone with Aspergers syndrome. She reminds me of the female lead in a show called Bones who was one of my favourites. So I am not begrudging her reactions. But at the same time I think it is still okay to question the appropriateness of her reactions and other ways to do things.

( if you say it is ok for doctors to announce their marriage , which is very much a part of their private life at the hospital gate , then I've nothing more to say. Argument will be futile. There is a time and place for everything. ).

My gauge is whether or not I would find it inappropriate if this were Sid and Ishani getting married instead in which case I don't think anyone would think it was weird. People do share their marriage news with their social circle/colleagues. Handing out laddoos at your workplace is a social convention for auspicious news in India. It is not that far fetched. It is not like they are announcing it in the middle of rounds or in a patient ward. Marriage is specifically designed as a social contract so you generally let your friends and family know so they can celebrate with you.

In relation to an earlier comment you made, Sid dancing at the joy of a patient receiving a liver transplant in the hospital is still work related. Whereas expressing disappointment or frustration over your love life is not so that makes in why those two events would be viewed differently.

We blame ITV for not being "real" , not digging deep , not staying true to our real world and yet we are ashamed / annoyed / afraid of watching organic characters . We'd rather watch perfect deities kicking butts. No wonder most of the ITV FLs are such put ons Mary Sue.

I completely agree. I enjoy flawed female characters. But I think its still okay to point out when we agree with the reaction vs when we don't. There is a difference between understanding someone's reaction vs advocating or promoting it. For instance, I recently watched Broken but beautiful. The lead female was stuck on her ex for a year and while I completely understood her (because have seen many women go through similar situations), I was also like come on girl get a grip on yourself.

Do I find Ishani flawless ?? Nope. And thank God she's not . Thank God she's very much human and full of human follies and weaknesses. Which is what makes her so interesting, adorable and ultimately a great watch. Do I find her real ?? Extremely. She's a flesh and blood FL, as I'm seeing after a long time in ITV and I'm hooked.

Ishani is in fact getting better at handling the situation , at a rate quicker than I'd like to see. I'd have rather made her pine and hanker after SidAsha for a while more , because that'd have been so much more refreshing watch than a heroine who gets her pieces together so soon.But then I guess they've to cater to all sorts of viewers .

I am not sure where they are going with the story or what the purpose of this SidAsha track is so its hard to comment. Right now it seems kind of pointless if Ishani finds out right away and understands/supports them. I get that the writers need conflict to keep a couple apart. But I would have preferred it to be their personalities rather than some sort of contrived 80s scenario. Sid could have given the child his name without necessarily getting married to Asha. Personally I was also looking forward to Ishani's reticence towards relationships after the experience.

The way she left the room and went to some where private to let herself feel the blow of Asha's pregnancy news is something I really liked . Also , the way she offered lift to Asha when she was tired and queasy and how she explained her help - another thing I liked. I suspect some might've wished she'd avoided these two altogether , but I'm not one of them . I'm glad that she deeply cares for Asha in every step of the way , because that's what makes her who she is - her core character trait is that of immense selfless care and unconditional love . It'd have been a shame if her heartbreak would've rendered her an ice maiden. That's why she deserve to be the protagonist .

Otherwise why'd we root for her and not Asha , who is also pretty and capable ?? It's the heart that makes the difference. Ishani is a better doctor not just for her skills , but for her these qualities , her compassion , she's the better person. Exactly the difference between Dr. Rishav and Dr. Sid ( of the earlier episodes anyways. )

Hmm.. I see this differently than you do. Personally I don't think someone needs to be the better person in order to be the protagonist or be rooted for. I also think in the past they have shown us enough of Asha to think of her as a good person on par with Ishani. She befriended Ishani when I don't think a lot of people would given Ishani's outwardly prickly exterior. But Ishani and Sid have the potential to balance each other out.

For me, idea of our protagonist needing to be the most compassionate or selfless in order to root for them starts to open up the Pandora's box of the expectation of selfless sacrifice from the leads especially for women.

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@HeartQuake

I don't think I agree with you on Ishani being a relatable character. The way she forgave them easily, I don't think anyone of us would do that especially after that grand humiliation. What Ishani did isn't called " being a bigger person" but it's called lacking self respect. Ishani for sure is very mahaan, perfect ITV lead but she for sure is not real