kaya ss broken dreams part 22 on page 69 (Thread 2 link added) - Page 2

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eufara_naghm thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#11
Hi I'm back
I know I have my exam but dil nahi mana.
So,here is the story.

Chapter 1



Ananya's Pov
Ananya is sitting in her room all alone. She's just thinking how her life just changed in one swift moment. How everything just ruined in front of her eyes. She was supposed to be a happy girl who was just married.But...She still remembers when she fall in love with this man. The man who have just made her life hell...she thought he loved her. ...But he has just made her life meaningless. She stares at her wrist and saw a bracelet. Which was gifted by HIMWho thought that this man will do something like this to her. He was the same person who fought with every body for her...And now...Maybe he never loved me.He never cared for me. It was all a drama. But why?
Fresh tears were formed in her eyes.

Kabir's pov
Why?Why the hell I did this to her?She never deserved that. She deserves way more better than that.I m so confused. But why did she do that to me. At first she saved me. Then she herself again broke me. She broke my soul. How can she do this. I loved her so much. I could give up my life for her. But she...Now I will show u Ananya what I can do. I will break u. I will break u in numerous pieces. Than I will gather u and will again hurt u. I will make ur life hell.Now I shall tell u if Kabir Sharma can love he can also hate. I just hate u Ananya just hate.
With this he broke the wine glass which he was drinking.




So guys please tell me what do u think
Sahira
Edited by eufara_naghm - 8 years ago
MistiofMistz thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#12
Simply love the concept. Plus its tashan type of concept. Looking forward to next part. Please continue soon.
MistiofMistz thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#13
So far Chapter 1 is looking great! I will give detail review on Wednesday during my day off. πŸ˜ƒ
Aazeen02 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#14
hey sahira,
go ahead dear...
I am yet to read your 1st chapter, but eager for the plot you described..
Aazeen02 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#15
Alright!
Read the first chapter too...
First of all, congratulations on your maiden work...
The concept by you is great...
It's something different...
eager to know what conspired between the two to have landed in such a mess...
Apart from all this, I have a few suggestions for you as well... If you feel okay about it, otherwise I don't intend to intrude obviously...
1. I know your exam is about to begin, so you kept it short, that's fine... But as a reader and a writer for a few years now, I can obviously suggest you that, spend time with your script, with each update... You can't always run with writing and posting it immediately... Take a bit more time, read what you wrote in the first go, and make bit of more detailing into the scenes... You would be astounded to see your updates will take a better shape and shall be more meaty.. (It's obviously a suggestion dear... I didn't intend to hurt you... When you can conceptualize a plot, you can definitely write it better, and I know you can do that..)

2. Dear, carefully choose the font color you post your updates with... I would personally suggest never to use lighter shades into writing updates of stories, coz all that you write is all the reader can read.. And colours like light green, yellow and light pink would need readers to strain too much to read the update, and in cases he may skip it coz he can't keep on doing that.. So, in my suggestion, take dark, bright colors to catch the attention of the readers...

That's all from my side for now... I again am saying, I was just suggesting, if you felt bad, I am already sorry dear...

Take care

Aazeen
Prasu1095 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#16
They both lv each other but now kabir hates her.vry diff.concept i eagerly wnt to read ch.1
eufara_naghm thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: Aazeen02

Alright!
Read the first chapter too...
First of all, congratulations on your maiden work...
The concept by you is great...
It's something different...
eager to know what conspired between the two to have landed in such a mess...
Apart from all this, I have a few suggestions for you as well... If you feel okay about it, otherwise I don't intend to intrude obviously...
1. I know your exam is about to begin, so you kept it short, that's fine... But as a reader and a writer for a few years now, I can obviously suggest you that, spend time with your script, with each update... You can't always run with writing and posting it immediately... Take a bit more time, read what you wrote in the first go, and make bit of more detailing into the scenes... You would be astounded to see your updates will take a better shape and shall be more meaty.. (It's obviously a suggestion dear... I didn't intend to hurt you... When you can conceptualize a plot, you can definitely write it better, and I know you can do that..)

2. Dear, carefully choose the font color you post your updates with... I would personally suggest never to use lighter shades into writing updates of stories, coz all that you write is all the reader can read.. And colours like light green, yellow and light pink would need readers to strain too much to read the update, and in cases he may skip it coz he can't keep on doing that.. So, in my suggestion, take dark, bright colors to catch the attention of the readers...

That's all from my side for now... I again am saying, I was just suggesting, if you felt bad, I am already sorry dear...

Take care

Aazeen

Thank u very much dear. 😊
I m new so it means a lot to me.
I will remember all ur suggestions
Edited by siramani - 8 years ago
eufara_naghm thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: MistiofMistz

So far Chapter 1 is looking great! I will give detail review on Wednesday during my day off. πŸ˜ƒ

Thank u very much😳
eufara_naghm thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: prasannakamila

They both lv each other but now kabir hates her.vry diff.concept i eagerly wnt to read ch.1

πŸ˜›

Word Count: 0

TunesOfHeart thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#20
The first part was very interesting
Totally amazing
excited to know what happens further
And yes thanks for the pm
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