Originally posted by: princess200
Hey...I didnt understand the few minutes cold war btwn Nassir and Iqtiaar...can u explain that. ..
Iqtiaar is worried since there is someone within his law firm who is actually working for that goon caller...And the party is hosted by Nassir and its their private party...Nassir didn't like Iqtiaar to be suspicious on him or any of his close guests with Razia's safety or their involvement with that psycho caller!
Iqtiaar: I DON'T KNOW! I really have no clue. Nassir... ever since I met her for the first time... she seemed to be very quiet. I thought maybe, it's just her shyness...
Nassir: Shyness? Donny... But she doesn't seem to be shy! I mean... she met all of us for the first time today and she was pretty comfortable.
Iqtiaar: EXACTLY!! I realized it just two three days back. It's something else... I don't know what, but there's definitely something. It's as if she's always scared about something... like a fear or maybe insecurity.
This whole convo and IQTIAARS understanding towards his wife...kaun hai yaar yeh banda...uske kuch bolne se pehle hii he understood there is something VERY wrong that has happened with her...itni tenderness itna zyaada caring...im almost in tears again...i so want a guy like him !!! who has everything inside him...
caring...tenderness...understanding...lil dominating...die hard romantic...strong...commanding...rough and tough yet soft from the inside...IN SHORT I WANT IQTIAAAR !!!!!
also this line
He couldn't let any damn thing happen to his wife. She was everything to him, everything!
yaar...ab kya bolu main...im so speechless !!! i have never felt so strongly attached to a FICTIONAL character in my life before !
Originally posted by: princess200
sorry have to add more to it
Iqtiaar: I DON'T KNOW! I really have no clue. Nassir... ever since I met her for the first time... she seemed to be very quiet. I thought maybe, it's just her shyness...
Nassir: Shyness? Donny... But she doesn't seem to be shy! I mean... she met all of us for the first time today and she was pretty comfortable.
Iqtiaar: EXACTLY!! I realized it just two three days back. It's something else... I don't know what, but there's definitely something. It's as if she's always scared about something... like a fear or maybe insecurity.
This whole convo and IQTIAARS understanding towards his wife...kaun hai yaar yeh banda...uske kuch bolne se pehle hii he understood there is something VERY wrong that has happened with her...itni tenderness itna zyaada caring...im almost in tears again...i so want a guy like him !!! who has everything inside him...
caring...tenderness...understanding...lil dominating...die hard romantic...strong...commanding...rough and tough yet soft from the inside...IN SHORT I WANT IQTIAAAR !!!!!
also this line
He couldn't let any damn thing happen to his wife. She was everything to him, everything!
yaar...ab kya bolu main...im so speechless !!! i have never felt so strongly attached to a FICTIONAL character in my life before !
~Mujhmein Tera AKS~
Part 21
Iqtiaar sat on the bar table and made a drink for himself remembering the day. It had been a mentally exhausting day for him. He placed the glass on to the table and dialed a number on his cell phone.
The phone in the Abdullah household rang loudly breaking the absolute silence in the house with the couple quietly sitting and spending time by the fire. Nassir got up from his chair and picked up the phone.
Nassir: Hello?
Iqtiaar (after a brief moment): Hi...
Fatima got off her chair and walked up to Nassir standing just a couple of steps behind him. Nassir remained quiet feeling a lump in his throat.
Iqtiaar: I would have slapped you if you would have said something like that to me. He said with a slight smirk on his face. Nassir chuckled and bit his lip, shaking his head unbelievably.
Nassir: It's your luck you are talking to me over the phone or else I was planning to do that anyways. He said smirking. Iqtiaar smiled taking a sip from his drink.
Nassir: How is she now? He asked looking back at Fatima who seemed curious to know about Razia.
Iqtiaar: She's better now. Iqtiaar smiled noticing how easily Nassir had diverted the discussion sparing him from saying sorry; a word almost impossible for him to say. Nassir truly knew him more than anyone.
Iqtiaar: Nassir... who was that man? His eyes were dark and his voice deep and threatening.
Nassir let out a sigh. Nassir: He wasn't in our guest list. Just some random guy from the next door pub; He was way too drunk.
Iqtiaar: I want him behind the bars. He ordered darkly.
Nassir: Already done. He won't be spared. I promise you that.
Fatima pulled Nassir's arm and asked him to give her the phone. Nassir: Donny, Fatima wants to speak to you. He passed on the phone to Fatima.
Fatima: Donny, Fatima here. Iqtiaar: Hey Princess, so how does it feel to get married for the second time... to the same man?
Fatima: Boring I guess... But I was left with no choice; you see... my second option got married three days back. She joked giving a naughty smile to her husband. Nassir shot her a look back and Iqtiaar chuckled sipping his drink.
Iqtiaar: So what did you want to talk about?
***
Razia stood under the shower crying her heart out. Tears flowed uncontrollably and her whimpers slowly turned into loud groans submerged within the noise of the water droplets falling in the shower chamber. Her thoughts had gone fourteen years back to her first encounter with a drunken alcoholic man... Her step father... Altamush Khan!
Flashback 1: A ten year old Razia playfully sat with her dolls and stuff toys scattered all around her bed as she dressed the dolls making them wear her favorite little gowns. It had been two years since she had shifted in this house; in her new Daddy's house along with her mother Qutub. And ever since she had come here, she was showered with all sorts of gifts. She asked for one and got three. Not even a single thing was denied to her. And she truly lived like a princess. But Razia was too young then to understand that material happiness was short lived and meant nothing at all. Today was the day when for the first time, a new lesson about the bitter truth of life was to be learnt by her. A shiver ran down her spine as suddenly a shattering noise came out of her room. The little girl with small delicate fingers clutched on to her teddy in a tight grip. She got off the bed and walked out of the room to visualize the horrid scene in front of her eyes. Her new perfect daddy stood with a chappal in one hand and her mother lay on the marble floor carpeted with expensive fine red threads.
Razia: Ammi... the innocent little girl shouted to see her mother like that feeling humiliated and confused. She ran to her with her small bare feet over the cold marble and flung her arms around her mother's neck. Ammi... Ammi... she cried not understanding a thing.
Altamush pulled the little girls arm off her mother's shoulders pulling her away using his left hand while her mother unsuccessfully struggled to keep Razia to herself. Razia looked towards her new brother Rukn-ud-din with pleading eyes for help while he stood at a distance not even once trying to interfere in the mishap in front of his eyes. And then Altamush slapped Qutub away hitting her again with his foot wear. Razia immediately looked at her mother who fell just next to the stinking broken glass bottle.
End of Flashback!
Razia hissed in pain remembering the sight of that broken bottle as she felt like its broken pieces were till date cutting her wounded heart making it bleed. She let January's icy cold water wash away the smell off her as her mind drifted to another dark memory which wasn't any more than five year old.
Flashback 2: A 19 year old young woman rolled up the architectural design plan sheets keeping them securely in her drawing tube holder. Razia neatly kept her drawing pens back in her pouch and picked up her hand bag hanging it round her left fore-arm as she hung the drawing tube over her right shoulder and picked up the two heavy construction books in her hands.
She walked out of the empty sixteenth floor studio of the Manchester school of architecture, checking the time in her wrist watch which showed eight thirty in the evening. It had been a long day and Razia had worked continuously after lunch to make sure she finishes her floor plan drawings for the early morning presentation the next day. She walked into the elevator satisfied with her hard work today and looked forward to see Chanda back in their little cozy student apartment ready with delicious pasta for dinner. It was Razia's second year here in Manchester university and she couldn't deny that life was much peaceful than back home. She didn't have to face and experience all the horrifying incidents which took place every day. In fact, she could now actually be excited about going back to what she called home. As the lift opened on the ground floor Razia walked out into the lobby to see the never ending drizzling rain again. It took her twenty minutes to walk back home every day and whether Razia liked it or not, she had no choice but to walk back in the rain with a drawing holder, a handbag and two big fat books in her hand... oh well not to forget the umbrella now too! She took out her umbrella, wore her navy blue over coat and started to walk towards Wilmslow Park.
Razia carefully walked on the deserted road with rain drops falling on the street shining in the night lights. After some ten minutes through the walk Razia suddenly saw two men standing by the foot path smoking. One of them looked maybe in his late twenties while other seemed to be close to forty. She ignored looking at them and kept walking ahead slightly increasing the pace of her walking. As she crossed the two men, she could smell strong unpleasant smell which she immediately realized to be of alcohol. Her heartbeat rose and she clutched on to her umbrella tightly. She was just a few feet away from the two of them when the older one suddenly rose and called after her...
Man 1: Excuse me miss? May I get a lighter please...
Razia: I am sorry, I don't have one... she murmured hurriedly without turning back and increased her pace even more. Razia desperately looked around to find a soul but the road was surprisingly silent. Razia: Maybe this road doesn't remain busy after six? She mentally noted for the very first time. Razia slightly turned to look back from the corner of her eye to see the two men now following her and very close to her. She shouted as she felt the twenty something old just behind her and ran forward dropping her two books and the umbrella. She ran as fast as she could for about a little more than a hundred meters when she finally found success in hiding behind a car and could see the two men running past her. She got up and quickly escaped through the shortcut to the building where her apartment was. Razia ran up the stairs and banged on the door of the third apartment on the 4th floor sliding down unconscious on the carpeted floor.
End of flashback!
Razia opened the glass door of the steaming shower chamber enveloping herself in the fluffy white towel tying it around her bust as it covered her till just above her knees. She took another one of the big comforty towel and rolled it over her wet hair.
***
Iqtiaar: So what did you want to talk about?
Fatima: About Razia... the words escaped from her mouth but Fatima immediately calmed herself seeing her husband knotting his eyebrows in confusion down at her. I ... I mean, I wanted to ask you to stay close to her Iqtiaar... she needs you.
Iqtiaar smiled warmly and responded with just a slight nod: hmm.
Fatima: Bye, take care of her and yourself too.
Iqtiaar: Bye.
Nassir took the phone from Fatima's hands and kept it down while she still stood at the same place. He turned around to see her lost in some thoughts.
Nassir snapped his fingers in front of Fatima to gain her attention calling her name: Honey?
Fatima came out of her thoughts and asked Nassir a question she really wanted to know. Fatima: Honey, have you ever met Razia's brother, Rukn-ud-din?
Nassir: Rukn-ud-din? Why are you concerned about him?
Fatima: no..just like that. Razia was talking to me about him... and he's Donny's friend too so I thought maybe you too are friends with him?
Nassir: Honey... Rukn-ud-din is Donny's school friend and I only met Iqtiaar during university... here in London, so how could I be friends with Rukn-ud-din?
Fatima let out a sigh looking down at her nails. Nassir: Yes... but I have met him occasionally once or twice. Fatima immediately looked up at his face. Fatima: you have?
Nassir: Yes during college I guess, if I recall right... Rukn-ud-din had come to London so I met him then with Donny. He seems to be a fine man... well that's obvious saying that he's Iqtiaar-id-din Mallik's friend... isn't it? He said casually walking towards the dressing room while Fatima stood rooted to where she was standing hearing what her husband was saying about Rukn-ud-din.
Fatima (self-thought): Will it be right for me to tell Donny everything I know? But I know only a part of the story... actually not even enough to know what all Razia has gone through. And I don't even know what sort of a friendship Iqtiaar shares with Rukn-ud-din... But he loves Razia... I know it, then... maybe I should talk to Razia and let her only tell him everything.
Nassir: Happy anniversary wifey! He whispered in her ear and kissed her soft cheek making Fatima blush and turn around.
Fatima: You know you are the best husband in this world?
Nassir: Ah.. even better than your second option? Nassir winked and teased her.
Fatima: Ah.. well not better but I'll manage! She gave it back to him bursting into a warm laughter hugging Nassir. Nassir took Fatima back to the chairs next to the fireplace where a heart shape cheese cake was kept on the coffee table. They both cut the cake together celebrating the another year of them being together.
***
Iqtiaar walked back up the stairs to his room thinking about what Fatima had told him. He should be spending time with Razia at the moment. She needed him to be there with her, comfort her and take her fear away. Fear... yes, Iqtiaar mentally made a note that he had to speak to her regarding her fear and behavior. Tell her that she can feel free to talk to him about whatever she likes and whenever she feels like. He smiled a proud smile mentally patting his back to have already rehearsed what he was about to say to her. You couldn't have complained... ever since he had met her... he had come to realize how fragile and innocent his angel was. And he was always at loss of words seeing her beautiful yet painful smile and her deep, big round eyes looking at him with a lot more expectations than he had allowed her. Every time he saw her in her eyes... he felt a strange pull... a lot more questions which didn't let him be away from her for even a few minutes. It felt like an innocent plea to be loved... something he felt inside out but it just wasn't in him to love her. He thought of it to be a slow poison which kills you slowly and steadily leaving nothing but just hatred for the person you loved so much once. His marriage will never end up being like that... he will make sure of it. With these thoughts he entered his bedroom which was illuminated with London's skyline and the soft candles Razia lit during the night.
***
Fatima turned and tossed on her bed unable to sleep. It was 2:00 am and she was wide awake... her grey eyes tired and begging for sleep and her head heavy. Giving up she got up in a sitting position and turned to see Nassir deep in sleep.
She leaned back keeping her head on the head rest of the bed thinking about her conversation with Razia back at lunch in the Mall.
Flashback: (this one is before the party when Fatima didn't know that Razia is Iqtiaar's wife) They both sat eating in a high end Italian restaurant in London, discussing about Fatima's parents, Nizam and his wife and Nassir.
Fatima: So that was all about me... schooling in Delhi, then Fashion Designing in London...that's when I met Nassir... during a college fest...dated him for four years and got married! Razia smiled warmly. What about you? Did you tell your husband that you are already in love with him or did he propose to you? She asked excited. Razia looked a bit surprised. Oh! dad told me you got married to your childhood crush? Is that true?
Razia smiled slightly and responded: Actually it was our parents who arranged everything. Fatima's mouth dropped open with her fork still halfway towards her mouth as she looked at Razia from under her heavy lashes. Fatima: you kidding me!
Razia smiled: Chanda said the same thing to me...ah, Chanda is my best friend.
Fatima: Hmm... so does he know now? Razia shook her head with a helpless smile.
Fatima: Razia... I know you haven't had the best possible childhood, but it's made you close the best of you somewhere deep inside where even you can't see it. Don't do this to yourself. You have nothing to lose...
Razia: I have him to lose! // End of Flashback!
Her words rang in Fatima's ears and sleep was far away.
***
Iqtiaar entered his bedroom which was illuminated with London's skyline and the soft candles Razia lit during the night. In between the soothing light of the candles sat his wife on their king size bed, her face pale out of an unknown fear, yet glowing as a natural blush adorned her pink cheeks.
Razia saw Iqtiaar standing at the door, and smiled warmly looking at him. Iqtiaar slowly moved towards her very well knowing that she was again trying to do the same thing. Hiding her pain from him, putting up a smile on her face to make sure he's not worried.
Iqtiaar reached Razia and slipped his hands on her slim waist bringing her closer to him. Razia's hands automatically reached his shoulders, their foreheads touching. He caressed her cheek with his left hand removing the hair blocking his view of his wife's face. Razia closed her eyes feeling him close as his touch held the power to sooth even the deepest of her wounds. Iqtiaar moved closer and kissed the corner of her lips sucking on to the soft plum lip.
And that's when she smelled it... reason to all her fears and darkness in her life. Razia knew that Iqtiaar had been in the lower level of their apartment but he had been drinking? She held her breath not responding and her hold on his maroon rugby shirt grew tighter, her nails digging in his flesh. Iqtiaar noticed her lips, which had been slightly open awaiting his moments ago, were now pressed together in a thin line.
Iqtiaar's eyes darkened frustrated with this attitude of hers. What was with her? Didn't she want to be with him? Every single time he tried to come close to her, she without even saying anything would just brutally push him away; kick him off and out of her life. Iqtiaar abruptly left Razia, turned around and walked towards the glass wall of their bedroom. He looked out at the high rise buildings of London closing his eyes tight trying to calm himself down.
Razia stood trying to even her breathing and desperate to want to explain.
Razia: Iq... Iqtiaar...
Iqtiaar: Don't... Just don't say anything to me right now! The husky deadly whisper commanded.
Razia had not heard the tone for quite some time now; not since their engagement at least. She knew he had gone through too much today, so if he was expected to understand and stand by her, so was she. Determined Razia walked towards him. Razia slowly walked to him and softly kept her soothing hand on his shoulder. Iqtiaar sighed, feeling the comfort to have her with him. He held her hand on his shoulder and turned around to once again try to read the fear on her face.
Razia turned around seeing anger mixed with helplessness in his eyes but Iqtiaar caught her by hand and turned her around. As her eyes met his for a brief second it was enough for him to give Razia the support she so very much needed. Razia hugged Iqtiaar tight and he caressed her soft hair giving her his shoulder to cry on. And the very next moment Razia found herself in his arms.
Iqtiaar picked up his delicate wife in his arms and walked to the bed placing her gently on it pulling the duvet up to her tummy. But he had to be away from her for some time... to put his head in place and think rationally. Yet Razia didn't seem to be in a state that he could have left her. And therefore he decided to put her to sleep and then leave the room. Iqtiaar sat next to her on the bed as Razia held his palm next to her face comforting herself to sleep. Iqtiaar bent down and kissed her forehead lightly before leaving the room and closing the door quietly enough to not disturb Razia.
***
Iqtiaar sat on the stairs in the living room thinking about his life, which had completely changed in the last ten days; for the better or for worse, he didn't know. His eyes which had become red out of frustration and anger were now slightly watery as tears threatened to brim helplessly. He didn't even know what the hell was causing such behavior of Razia's, then what could he do about it? Maybe she didn't want him physically close... if that was it then he mentally promised himself to not even dare make the first move.
She wasn't happy; he knew it and that was something which was eating him inside day by day. He couldn't see her like that... not anymore! Shazia's words rang in his head...
Shazia: How can you keep her happy without loving her?
Was he the reason for her such condition? Because he told her that he would never be able to love her; because he didn't believe in it??? That's when he felt the light and delicate hand on his right shoulder and the soft white fabric of Razia's dupatta on his back.
Razia quietly sat next to him looking at his face; her eyes clear... neither any doubt nor any fear... Iqtiaar kept looking at the front wall as he firmly held Razia's hand on his bicep.
Iqtiaar: I don't want to lose you... didn't I tell you that night? He said still not looking at her.
Razia remembered their conversation on their wedding night when Iqtiaar had told her that he feared losing her. She swallowed a lump in her throat and kept looking at him in hope that he would turn his head to look at her.
Iqtiaar: I don't know... what I mean to you? If I am even important enough...*he closed his eyes* If you even feel that I am worthy enough to have you...
Razia shook her head and kept her palm on his lips to stop him from saying any such thing. She almost hugged his arm tight wanting him really close and kept her head on his shoulder.
Razia: Don't say that... please!
Iqtiaar: I know it's difficult for you... this all of a sudden marriage, coming to a completely different country where you've never been before... new people, expectations... but it will all be good very soon. Trust me!
This time he turned to look in her eyes holding her hands in his making a promise. Iqtiaar: I promise Razia... I'll do everything in my say to keep you happy, but don't do this to me, please. I feel like I am failing... every single day...
Razia: Iqtiaar... she managed to get her voice out as she felt an excruciating pain in her chest. Iqtiaar looked at her waiting for her to continue. But when she couldn't and broke into sobs holding his hands tight... he pleaded: Talk to me! Please!
Razia looked into his eyes for a brief moment and then shut her eyes tight allowing the last bit of tears to flow; she sighed and looked at him straight in his eyes determined.
Razia: What do you want to know?
Iqtiaar: The reason; the reason for you not being yourself.
Razia: I am myself... she defended. Iqtiaar: No you are not Razia... you aren't yourself.
Razia: But you don't know me well enough to know who I really am?
Iqtiaar: Exactly but I know you well enough to know when you are yourself and when not! And I can swear on my life that you ARE NOT the girl I met that night on the road; you ARE NOT the girl I saw in the Dargah and you are definitely NOT the girl who would give up so easily and freeze in front of some random alcoholic misbehaving with you.
Razia smiled slightly: Then who do you think I really am?
There was a soft smile on his face as he tucked in a lose strand of hair behind her ear, initially coming close to her but then moving back to where he was sitting. He whispered: You are the girl whose face glows in the candlelight as if there isn't even a single worry in life which could take away that unknown happiness from you. (Razia looked into his eyes astonished remembering their engagement night when she was lighting the diyas on the floor, she truly the happiest in her life that time.) You are the girl who has the guts to flirt with my friend knowing that I would notice and react. (Razia almost giggled remembering that she had purposely made Iqtiaar feel so that he would go to his bachelor's party.) You are that girl who in the flight was immensely excited to know about all her husband's friends, eating up his mind to the point of driving him crazy. And you are the girl who made my dream come true by being there at the door waiting for me to come back home when I most needed you. That's the real Razia!
Razia stared at him speechless as Iqtiaar cupped her face in his palms and whispered to her looking in her eyes: I only want to see the real Razia around me... smiling and happy... and I'll do any damn thing needed to make sure that you never have to face the part of you which hurts you so much.
Razia: You can't do that... It will only hurt you more to give me what I need to forget that part of me. She whispered looking back straight in his eyes filled with hope and got up to leave. Iqtiaar caught her hand and pinned her against the staircase wall leaning on to her.
Iqtiaar: Let me finish! He whispered darkly against her shivering lips. I am not letting you walk away on me today Mrs. Razia Iqtiaar Ud-din Mallik. I am your HUSBAND and YOU owe me an explanation! He said pushing her body more into the wall. Razia tried her best to turn her head away due to the smell of the alcohol, but it was impossible for her to do so.
She looked away trying to avoid the smell...
Iqtiaar: Look a me when I talk to you! He almost screamed.
Razia: Do you really wanna know the reason? She asked putting the best of herself in front of him.
Iqtiaar: Any doubts?
Razia: It's Alcohol!
***
Next: Iqtiaar's reaction!
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