Sonu jaan, you really should be in charge of the show's screenplay. I am in love with this story. 👏
AlZia have been written in character that the scenes can easily be used in the show.
I am reviewing each chapter as I read it:
Chapter One:
You make it seem like she was in love with Yaqut but knowing you there must be more to it.
Yaqut toh dost tha aur Altu toh mohabbat hai par uska dokebaazi ne Razo ka dil thod diya. Hain nah?
Altu itna romantic andaz mein apna Begum Sahiba pa haq ada karega toh woh kab tak door bhaag ge gi. 😉
Chapter 2:
Altu mohobbat mein jal raha hai aur apne aap ko taqleef de raha hain.😭 Altu ke yeh halat mujhse bardaasht nahin hoti.
Haye...Razo drooling on Mirza ☺️. Aur pyar se uska mahram patti bhi kar lete agar woh naraz nahin hoti.
I so want to see this in the show one day!
Altu ghussa karta hai par najaiz ghussa nahin.
The ghusl khana scene was hot! ☺️ Yeh jab shauhar wala robe dikhata hai toh aur he kamal lagta hai.
Chapter 3:
Awwh. She called him 'Ikku' and he called her 'Razo'. Sooo cute!!! Kitne aapnapan diktha hain in do naamo mein.
Altu's jealousy over Yaqut is well handled. It fits in with his fiery, passionate and possessive nature.
'Humara koi cheez ko haath lagaye toh Mirza ko pasand nahi'.
Chapter 4:
AlZia were getting bolder in their romance par aapne toh hasa diya yaar. Aap AlZia ke nok jhok bohot acha tarah likhte hai. Bilkul miya - biwi wali larhaee...'humari baat nahin sunte' waghera. 🤣
Awwh. Woh roothna aur manana was so sweet. Haaye and the tight jadoo ki jhappi.
Ab samajh mein aa gaya. Ikku uska mohobbat hain aur rahega par Razo ko lagta hai ke Altu ne taaqat hasil karne mein us masoom Ikku ko qatil kar diya.
Chapter 5:
Yay. Finally Razo ke andar ke Begum Sahiba jaag uthi. She is not the sharing type - 'Humara shauhar sirf humara hain'! 😛
Yaar. The kiss scene. Kya kahein. You nailed it.
AlZia ke deewangi mein hum doob jayenge. 😳
Altu ke qatilana adayein se hum kya Razo bhi nahin bach sakte.
Chapter 6:
Defo CVs aap ke ff se hi ideas chori kar rahay hain. Uff the hamam wala romance. ☺️ Maza agaya. Aap toh bold romance likhne mein maahir hain.
Yeh line kitna naughty tha:
"aap nahane to wali thi na, humne socha alag alag mehnat kyun kren hum miyan biwi thak jayenge". 😆
Chapter 7:
AlZia are masters in teasing. I love how you write their conversations. Padh ke yehi line yaad aati hai; 'Mash'allah...yeh nazo ada'. 👍🏼
Par dobara manhoos Yaqut ka naam lekar sara romance ka satyanash hogaya. Bechara Altu ko baar baar ghussa dilane ke kya zaroorat hain.
"nahi Ikhu aur Razo kabhi door nahi the, par shayad..Razia aur Altunia ke beech Ikhu aur Razo kahin kho gye" - this was such a bittersweet line. These two are even more adorable in your ff.
Ab inke beech ke dooriyan kab khatam karo gi?
Chapter 8:
Haye. I am dead. The consummation part was well written. Just right. Not too much. Is se aage hota toh mein sharam se paani paani ho jati. ☺️
Now finally they are confronting the real problem. His insecurity and her misunderstanding his intentions.
Chapter 9:
Gosh. What a twist. Altu aur Razo ke beech galat fehmi peda karna Yaqut ka asli maqsad tha. 😡
Ab koi afsos nahin hai uski maarne par. Bada aya AlZia ko alag karne wala. 🤬
Chapter 10:
Wah. This last part was awesome. 👏
I loved how he showed her the mirror. He told her the hard-hitting truth; she held back her love as her priority became her Sultanate.
Usko apne Ikkhu par yakeen rakhna chahiye tha ke woh unse ghadi kabhi nahin cheen tha.
Best dialogues: "jese aapko apni Delhi sultanate ki fiqr thi wese hi hamen apni razo k dil ki sultanate ki fiqr thi, jahan k sultan hum bnna chahte the"..." hum maaf krdijiye subedaar sahab, hamare ustaad, hamare dost hamare mehboob hamare shauhar". Thaliya.
Finally sare misunderstanding clear hogai aur AlZia apni mohobbat bari dunya mein khush reh sakte hain.
So cute & funny the part about the 6 bacche. 😳
Yaar rulao ki kya. AlZia ke baache khawab hi rehjayega. 😭
Waqai Sonu aap bahut khoosurati se likhte ho. This was a pleasure to read. You captured the nafs of the characters and the story flowed logically. Thank you for sharing your vision with us. Take a bow.
Ab is se zyada lambha comment nahin likh sakti. 😆
P.S. Maafi chahti hoon, koi aur kaam mein masroof hogaye thi isliye post karne mein late hogaya.
Edited by bhabhijaan - 9 years ago
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