Undecided. | (The Heart and the Mind...rewritten)

Okay I know you are probably confused about the title, so the thing is that I had decided to keep the title as *undecided* because the title literally hadn't been decided. Then, an idea struck my mind. Why not keep the title Undecided itself? As in the name of the story is 'Undecided'. I thought it would be kinda apt because Asad is always unable to decide between his heart and his mind. And Zoya is unable to decide between her self-respect and her kindness lol. Anyways if any of y'all get an idea for the title please don't hesitate to PM it to me! Also, sorry, again, for starting a new story when I have two pending, but you guys pretty much know the original storyline since you've read the first version of this story. Just that the plot and timings will be a bit more appropriate. Toh bina kisi bakchodi ke, let's get to the video- uh, I mean story!

Undecided

Prologue

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The monitor's beeping kept pounding in his ears like a thousand distant bells. His angered breaths rumbled through his body and his head felt like it was splitting at the seams. Her. It's all because of her. He thought of the woman he put to blame. The woman who came storming into his life, wreaking havoc like a hurricane. Because of her, his Ammi was lying on a bed; lifeless, pale, with several tubes stuck into her. The sight itself made him sick. It made his stomach pit and his head spin.

And she dared come apologize. Something had snapped when he'd heard her mere voice. So his hands did what his mind couldn't fathom. He hit her. The pain was too much, and the anger was overpowering. He'd unflinchingly slapped her and walked away, not looking back. There was blood. Tears. He hadn't cared what his Ammi would say if she found out about this.

He still didn't. Not even if his Ammi was discharged from the hospital and safely brought home, alive. The flashes from the hospital followed him like his own shadow.

And there he stood. Beside his sleeping mother, thanking Allah that she hadn't been taken away from him yet. A soft knock on the glass door broke his train of thought. Bloodshot eyes gazed at the figure behind it and anger filled them. His legs carried him to the door.

"I just-"

"I'll take that." He growled and took a tray with an aromatic bowl of soup from a pair of shivering hands. Seething, he placed it on the bedside table and smiled sadly at his sister sleeping next to her mother. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Zoya trying to get a chance to check on her Phoopi and unkindly closed the door on her. Having no idea of a breaking heart behind him.

A while later, Najma awoke and Asad told her to keep the now empty bowl of soup in the sink. She nodded and obliged. Again, he saw Zoya trying to get a glimpse of his Ammi and something snapped once more.

This was the second time she had tried to meet his Ammi, and now this was getting on his nerves. Instead of closing the door on her, he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. Cornering her into a pillar.

"Don't even think about going near her." He said dangerously. Zoya couldn't help a tear or two slip out of her eye. It wasn't her fault! She knew nothing about what might happen! She had truthfully sent Mariam back, and yet he just didn't understand. He didn't even try. She gasped as he advanced further on her. He gave her a threatening glare and proceeded towards his room. Zoya let out a sob.

"But why Mr Khan? Why are you doing this?" She questioned. Guilt filled every cell of her body even though the truth differed.

"You're asking me why?" He barked and turned to face her. "What had I told you? I had told you to send Mariam away from here. But no, you didn't do what I had asked." He seethed.

"Mr Khan I had sent her! I-"

"You're lying!" Asad said through gritted teeth. She shook her head. No matter how much she tried, he would never believe her. I love Phoopi too! I will never forgive myself if I let her...

"If you would've just sent her away, they never would've come looking for her and none of this would've happened! And Ammi wouldn't be in this state!" He snapped at her whilst pointing to Dilshad's room.

"Mr Khan...Mr Khan I had sen-" Her sentence was cut short when her grasped her by her arms. She winced and the familiar lump in her throat surfaced again.

"Miss Farooqui...if anything would've happened to her then...then..."

"Mr Khan trust me. I really had sent Mari-" She gasped in fear as she felt herself being pushed into the pillar behind her. Her injured hand hit the corner of the wall violently and sent shards of pain shooting through her arm. Her eyes widened in fear.

"Miss Farooqui. If I see you anywhere near Ammi after today, I swear...I'll kill you." He threatened and tightened his grip on her arms. His fingers dug into her skin painfully and her lower lip trembled. He kept glaring at her and pushed her further into the wall. Zoya managed to muster the courage to speak.

"Mr Khan...Mr Khan you're hurting me." She whimpered and he let go of her. Her feet hit the ground, unbalanced. She closed her eyes to compose herself and opened them again to look at him fearfully. She couldn't break down, not in front of him. It would only show him how vulnerable she really is. He looked at her with aversion.

"Ammi and Najma, are my life. They are everything to me. And I want to see them safe. I can't put their lives in danger because of a girl like you." He said coldly. Her glance shot up to his eyes, hurt. In a moment she was looking down in shame. "And I know that you don't care for these relationships, maybe that's why He didn't give you a mother." Asad bit out. Zoya's tear filled eyes met his blazing ones and he walked away. Once again, not aware of a breaking heart behind him.

Now that he was gone, she didn't hesitate to let it all out. She sobbed into her hands that covered her mouth.

Hurt only growing, she ran to her room and fell down on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Why was it always her fault? What did she ever do to never have a mother's love? Why was it so unfair? Her head spun and her throat was burning from all her crying. She was tired, of all the shit the world had thrown her way. And she would always be the one to blame, always. Why couldn't anyone just... understand?

That was the prologue! Hope you guys would like to read further! Love y'all.💖

Please update frequently! I just love reading your stories on Asya! 😊

Originally posted by: fatima30

Please update frequently! I just love reading your stories on Asya! 😊

Thank you! And yeah, I haven't updated this one since no one actually replied till now, but I've started writing today itself!!

Love ya💖

Awesome, pls continue!!

I am a silent reader, but have been reading all your stories. I'm a bit sad you don't update regularly, but thats okay, because quality of quantity. Eager for the next part of this and all your other stories.

Nice prologue

Loved to read more

So continue soon please

Thanks

Originally posted by: hgjkjhgfjfj

I am a silent reader, but have been reading all your stories. I'm a bit sad you don't update regularly, but thats okay, because quality of quantity. Eager for the next part of this and all your other stories.

Sorry for not updating this for a month straight 😢. I tried writing as much as I could but couldn't just get it right! I'm writing the first chapter now, will probably update in a day or by tonight!

Originally posted by: asifiqbalsh

Nice prologue

Loved to read more

So continue soon please

Thanks

Thanks, haven't really been able to focus on writing this one much. Lots of workload and whatnot 😬. Will update ASAP!

Hiya peeps! So I finally, finally, FINALLY had a bit of time to write the first chapter of this long pending story. So the storyline is almost the same, let's just pretend Rashid hired private investigators after seeing Dilshad in a condition that no one likes and found out who actually shot her, and due to that, AsYa sadly never had to do the Teri Meri dance :p

Only difference is, the story starts off further than before, and my writing is a biiiiit less cringier. But I guess that depends on you guys:)

Undecided

Chapter 1

It was always going to end this way.

She convinced herself that for the umpteenth time that day. It was always going to be her who was blamed. It was always going to be her fault. He would never see her side of the story. He would never trust her. Flashes of horrible instances played on a loop in her mind.

"Maybe this is why He didn't give you a mother."

"It's your fault my Ammi is in the ICU."

"YOU brought Mariam here!"

"Sometimes I wonder when you'll finally get out of my life."

Her breath stopped. That line. That sentence. How much of it was true, she would never know. Ever since they had come home from Mangalpur, things had been off between them.

She was never going to fit in there. No matter how much Phupi and Najma said she was perfect for them, she would always be the misfit. The outsider. The one to be blamed. This was the only way she could put an end to it all.

Where she was sitting now, was nowhere but a plane to New York via Delhi. The last flight of the day. As tears trickled down her face, the twinkling lights of Bhopal disappeared behind the clouds.

* * *

"Haye Allah!"

Asad's eyes snapped open. What's going on? What's with all the commotion? Swiftly shoving his covers aside he strode to the living room. Where Dilshad and Najma were sitting on the sofa, huddled together and surrounded by tears. He looked at them curiously, in a bit of panic. "Ammi! What happened?!"

"B-bhaijaan! She left! Zoya left, her flight took off last night!" Najma cried into Dilshad's dupatta. Asad turned to stone, more than he already was. Why would she? How could she? What about his Ammi? His sister? ...Him?

"N-nonsense! She won't just leave like that." Asad said defensively, but what was he even defending? It was his fault she left! And he knew it. It pained his heart so he didn't accept it. "She won't leave me like that." He whispered. That little sentence reached Dilshad's ear and it was then she realised how big of an idiot her own son was. She decided to question him then and there. It was now or never.

"Asad, maybe it's time you hang your pride up and accept it." She said crossly.

"Accept what? T-that I've finally found peace?" He cringed inwardly as he said this. It definitely wasn't peace he felt.

"Oh-ho! Peace? Asad you and I both know that your mind is far from peace right now. I swear, this stubbornness of yours might work in most places, but in matters of the heart, your stubborn nature is what will land you nothing but anger and sadness." She was livid.

Flashes of Mangalpur replayed in his mind. He winced. "I..." He sighed and buried his face into his rough hands. "I'm sorry."

* * *

The exit gates opened, it was mildly bright outside. With her heart thumping in excitement, for a new start, Zoya walked out of JFK airport. Her suitcase rolling behind her. I've missed this. She smiled wholeheartedly when she saw her Jeeju eagerly waiting for her by the exit.

"JEEJU!!!" Zoya squealed and dashed up to him, hugging him with all her might. "I've missed you so much!"

"Whoaa take it easy! We've missed you a lot too, shaitan!" Anwar chuckled.

"Tch, Jeeju!" Zoya whined. "You know I hate to be called that!"

"Anyways, let's go home." Anwar smiled.

"Oh, where's Api?"

He chuckled, "She's busy preparing for the disaster to arrive y'know?"

"JEEJU YAAR!"

Joking and teasing, the duo made their way to the car and settled in. "Waise Zoya, I heard from Aapa that you've taken a liking to her son, hmm?" Anwar bobbed a brow at her.

Zoya's face drooped a bit, but she covered it up with a snicker. "Whaaat? Kuch bhi! Aap kabhi mile bhi hain unse? Ek aadmi itna akdu ho sakta hai ye aapko yakeen hi nahi hoga!" Zoya joked and gazed outside the window, sighing in a mixture of relief and confusion. She felt weirdly at home in New York, granted, Bhopal would always remain in her heart, but New York was where she had spent most of her life! She had made lifelong friends here, learned, dreamed, and loved here. She should be able to live on...right?

* * *

Asad sighed for the umpteenth time that day. It had been a month since she left and he still hadn't stopped thinking about her. The hurt on her face when he had said those disgusting words to her. How could he? If it was anyone who would know the value of a mother it was him. It was his Ammi, who spent her days trying to gather money and working extra jobs during the days she was supposed to relax and enjoy life with her two kids. His Ammi, who had sacrificed her love for her beloved children. Just how could he?

"Mr Khan...Mr Khan you're hurting me!"

"Asad?" His mother's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"J-ji Ammi?"

"Tum theek toh ho na?" Dilshad asked, gently sitting down beside him on the turquoise settee.

"Yes, I'm completely fine. Just...workload." Asad massaged his forehead. Dilshad smiled at him lovingly.

"Accha. Theek hai. But grab some rest as you work, we all know how cranky you get if you don't rest properly." Dilshad chuckled and headed into the kitchen, biting the inside of her cheek in frustration. Ya Allah, why is my son so stubborn?!

Asad closed his laptop and leant back into the soft cushions on the settee. Thoughts of Zoya flooded through him. He closed his eyes and revelled in them, once, just once. His phone ringing woke him up. How long was I asleep?

"Hello?...Yes this is Asad Ahmed Khan...really? How long? Alright, when do I have to leave? ... Great, thank you!" Asad held his phone tight and covered his mouth to hide a grin.

Okay I know y'all have been waiting for me to update this since FOREVER, but writing it without sounding overly cringey was taking FOREVER x/

Anyhoo, hope you guys liked it, and comment if you want me to continue!

Hey there!

So glad to see you start another fic! I honestly dont remember much of the previous version of the story so it's like a fresh piece for me !

Glad you took it up to write it again since you wanted to do a finer job than you already do! Shows how much of a perfectionist you are!

Excited to see how this one goes! The end tells me that Asad might have some business trips( strictly business :P) coming up...and oh do we want to know the location?! :P

Haha update the next part soon. Also waiting to read the next of Lost Without you!

Always a treat to read your stories!