ViSa OS~FOOLS IN LOVE~ - Page 2

Originally posted by: Meriam25

okey dokey no prob

i ll wait he he :D

Originally posted by: Durresyed

Thanks pallavi. It was sweet and beautiful OS.
Keep bringing this stuff apart from your regular FF.

Originally posted by: Elita

Short and sweet...loved the family masti and bonding. 😊

Originally posted by: anjalijiji

Aww what a cute os, full of family fun and little bit of romance😳. Nice one Pallavi👏

HI ya. Thank you for the ONE SHOT, it was good. I felt that you should of make this a little longer. A few pointers though:

OMG so many fics.. I feel like it's Diwali all over again😆

I'm sure gonna have diabetes if you start writing such sweet stories.. What a surprise coming from you😛 got tired of angst huh? If the reward if going to be OSs like this, bring it on!!

And btw I'm imagining Vikrant in a towel the way Ranbir was dancing in Saawariya, what a view

wow wow wow!!
Sucha sweeettt OS...
It had everything in it...ViSa, ViSaBhi, Ravya...
wow wow wow wow... LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome OS with everyone of Sarita, Vikrant, Abhi, Raj and Divya having a part of it.

Originally posted by: Pein

HI ya. Thank you for the ONE SHOT, it was good. I felt that you should of make this a little longer. A few pointers though:

Abhi- too mature for a kid. During the conversation with him and Sarita it seems like a 12-14 year old kid was interacting with their mom. You stretched his ''lines'' be it with Sarita/Vikrant. It could of been shorter and more child-like.

Vikrant and Sarita: Their conversation was too formal and polite for a married couple.

You need to work on your ''dialogues'' its too polite and stiff that it seems forced, it should be lighter and casual and the conversations should flow. Even if its a one shot , you need to be careful with these things as it affects the whole story. I'm not flaming you so I hope you're not offended. If you are I apologize for my words, I hope I didn't come off as a mean person here. :/

.!..Ari...!.

Hi there, Ari! Thank you for taking the time to read this OS and leaving a comment! 😊

And thank you for the pointers..Will definitely keep them in mind while writing my next FF/OS. No offense taken. 😊

Just one clarification though...If you had noticed my previous comment to a friend here, you would know that I was not happy with the way this OS shaped up. I do not want to come off as arrogant or smart arsed, but I do know when I have not done a good job.

And I definitely don't want to sound like grammar police, but the first sentence of yours needs correction...'I felt that you should have made it a little longer'...not 'you should of'. Hope I did not offend you either! 😊

Thanks once again, dear! Catch you later! 😃

Originally posted by: -Srishty-

OMG so many fics.. I feel like it's Diwali all over again😆

I'm sure gonna have diabetes if you start writing such sweet stories.. What a surprise coming from you😛 got tired of angst huh? If the reward if going to be OSs like this, bring it on!!

And btw I'm imagining Vikrant in a towel the way Ranbir was dancing in Saawariya, what a view