Functionings of a Dysfunctional Family - Page 2

Originally posted by: ruchisahay

Gosh! I posted something very similar in another discussion. So, I agree with everything you said about Raj, Kamla and his family.

Ruchi, I read your posts and our thoughts are very similar on this.

I felt very bad for both Raj and his mother - especially his mother. To end up with a husband who insults her before her kids and who has brought a second woman into her house after a long married life must be unbearably painful and heart breaking. Taking it all out on Sarita is wrong but at least she hates her husband as well.

I felt sorry for Kamla both pre-leap and yesterday. In pre-leap, the husband was again threatening to hit her because Raj hadn't showed up for the wedding. Dadi was as usual silent and not blaming her son whatsoever. Then he had asked Kamla to call Raj. I had a feeling that time that Kamla was very reluctant to call him to show up for the wedding and only called him under duress.

Her husband is despicable and actually Kamla needs to send him to jail because of bigamy that is a offense under Indian law. He is doing both physical and mental cruelty and jail is a better place. It is wrong what she does to Sarita, but it seems that Sarita is the only one available on whom she takes out her frustrations.

What I liked about her demeanor was how she really hated the husband. In fact, maybe Kamla would turn out to be less bitter if she could punch her husband either verbally or phsyically. There was a suppressed anger and resentment in her eyes the way she was looking at Sohanlal. She has no respect for him and yet was forced to do his aarti and touch his feet. I really liked that aspect of Kamla. Like Sarita, she too blames the other woman for her problems. But unlike Sarita, she does not feel love for Sohanlal (at least it came out that way for me yesterday).

Gaurav's words resonated well with me - they were words of reason and everyday practicality. I currently like his the most in the most - purely based on his character. Or, maybe I am biased as for the first time I am seeing an academic person on TV who's not a nerd. I mostly avoid shows as I never relate to characters on TV - there are no non-geeky researchers, no good working Mom (the one who loves her kid but wants to work for personal satisfaction).

I too like Gaurav and I am also happy to see a parallel lead who is doing something other than being a businessman (typical serial profession). I am by education a mathematician and so I liked seeing such a character. For the first time (in my limited history of serial viewing), I saw a mention of an academic conference.

As far as good working mom (who is doing something out of personal satisfaction), I think that is not happening anytime soon. The women who work in TV serial usually do so because they have a family to support. Case in point Divya. I wouldn't have minded seeing Divya also leaving for Mumbai because besides supporting her siblings, she wanted to pursue a career in acting. All these women totally lose interest in jobs/careers once a guy comes into their lives. Also, all bahus do housework from washing clothes to cooking to sweeping even if they are from a rich family. Even in middle-middle class families, you will find a maid cleaning the house these days. A woman wanting career or pursuing education will be shown doing all sort of work at home before thinking of studying.

Sometimes I think these writers/CVs (of TV world) are illiterate people who have no concept of how people operate in real world. There are people who have a hard life pursuing studies and also managing household work, but they are not perfect ideal bahus of serial world.

Raj's sisters and his dadi are just caricatures - no real personality. Honestly I can never believe that any grown up daughter can take her mother's insult the way Raj's sisters accept - irrespective of the money factor. Even my 2 year old kid reacts when I have even minor disagreements with my husband - and he always supports me over my husband (something that makes him jealous 😆).

Besides the sisters and Dadi, even the father/second wife are coming across as caricatures to me. That's why they are not interesting me now. From Raj's family, it is only Kamla, Sarita and Raj that interest me.

But I can believe the disrespect shown by kids to their mother when they are brought up in a household where there is no respect for women. Here they have shown 2 kids (Raj and Shiela) not displaying this kind of behavior even though they too do not respect Kamla.

One of my friend told me this incident, where she had this college friend who got married to a very dominating chauvanistic guy. Both are educated, yet he takes delight in putting her down in front of friends/relatives. So she was visiting this friend one time and they had few more guests. The friend brought out snacks for visitors and her 6-7 year old son commented to her not to eat Samosas because the father was saying that she would get fat. My friend was aghast at such a behavior from the little kid, who seemed to be getting influenced by the father. Eventually, I think her friend filed for a divorce because she was getting concerned about the impact of such behavior on her child.

Here pre-leap, they showed Dadi making fun of Kamla publicly and then there is a father who speaks about hitting her in front of daughters and DIL. So kids are taking their value system from the father. Kamla too is culprit because she is using these two daughters in her war against Sarita. For some reason, Raj and Sheila have remained far from this kind of behavior. Maybe in case of Raj, he was artistic by nature and must have detached himself from the household. He is detached personity in how he doesn't seem to care for anybody in his family. Sheila seems to like her brother and probably emulates him.

But that is really sweet about your 2-year child. I have two young nephews who do the same if there is ever a disagreement between me and my husband. My husband tells me that I have brain washed them and that's why they side with me. He says that they just don't know any better and will gain wisdom once they grow up. But again this behavior comes when there is mutual respect between adults. Here, there is no respect whatsoever for Kamla.