Chapter Thirteen
Was it too juvenile? She didn't care. But while they had been packing and checking out, she hadn't been able to let go of the flowers. They were just probably an impulse. Hell, she KNEW they were an impulse. The discomfort on his face had been way too obvious for her eyes. For the first few moments she had not been even sure if the flowers had been for her or had some one else given it to him after the surgery as a gesture of appreciation. But his face had given him away and her stupid heart rejoiced even though he had looked as if he regretted whatever it was that had prompted him. So on her way out, she had quietly slipped one of the blossoms into her bag pack. And here they were, back in Lucknow. She didn't know where they would go from here. Did it matter? As long as she had him in her life..
"Nidhi!"
Nidhi's startled eyes turn to look at Rohan standing in front of her. What was he doing in the airport?
"Rohan tum? Yahaa?"
Wordlessly, he took her carry on from her hands and she followed him until both of them were seated in his car. After a few minutes of uneasy silence, she finally decided to break it.
"You are angry, aren't you?"
He huffed out a sarcastic laugh. "You could say that. I am seriously considering turning you over my knee. Don't get me wrong. There is no broken heart and feelings of betrayal involved. as I told Anji before, I am over and done with that. You and your doctor can do whatever you feel like. But why pull Anji into it Nidhi? Couldn't you have thought things through a bit before putting her in such a spot?"
A sense of unease slithered through her spine, not because he is defending Anji but the way he said that. "Something happened?"
"Yes Dr Nidhi Verma. Something did happen. Do you know Major Kuldeep? Yog uncle's friend from his army days?"
"Yes but.."
"He saw you. He was there in that bash that actress gave last night. He called up uncle this morning."
She closed her eyes and softly banged her head against the head rest in the car. Rest of the journey was silent, each lost in their own thoughts. She took a deep breath as soon as the car stopped in front of the house and got down.
"Thank you Rohan." Seeing that he was ready to accompany her, she shook her head. "Nahi. Mein chali jaaungi. I will handle this."
Rohan looked at her intently as if gauging her words before nodding and backing off.
"Take care. Call if you need anything."
She mustered a sincere smile from somewhere.
"Rohan..congratulations. I am really happy. I want a signed copy. Ok?"
The pride overrode his concern for a brief moment. "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without.."
She nods. "Anji. I know. Chalti hoon."
She waited until he backed out his car and left. Then remained standing for some more time as if gathering all her courage to face what was waiting for her inside. A part of her screamed at her to call Ashutosh and tell him. Ask him what was to be done. But what would she ask and what would he tell? It was not his problem. It had never been his problem. What had she been thinking..hoping? That she would go on seeing him and being with him without the knowledge of her family?
"Are you planning to stand there the whole day?"
Her baba's no nonsense voice reached her and with another bracing breath, she went inside.
"Go and freshen up Nidhi."
"Baba.."
"I said go inside and freshen up. We will talk later."
A quick shower and a cup of strong tea from CS later,
"Baba, I am sorry."
CV didn't turn from his place at the window..didn't turn to look at his daughter.
"What are you sorry for Nidhi?"
"I am sorry that I lied to you."
"That's it? That's all you are sorry for?"
"Ghar ki izzat ko mitti me milaake ab apne jhoot keliye maafi maang rahi ho Nidhi?" DB's furious voice made her cringe.
"Dabi bua, it was not like that."
CV finally turned to look at his daughter.
"Then what was it like Nidhi? Tell me. I want to know. I didn't believe..I COULDN'T believe that my daughter would do something like this!"
"Baba, I swear, I never meant to hurt you.."
"Well, that's what you did Nidhi. Tell me something and don't you DARE lie to me about this. Was THIS the reason you refused to marry Rohan? Was HE the reason?"
Nidhi shook her head. "No baba. He was not the reason. I was the reason. I didn't want to marry Rohan when I.."
"When you what? When you fell in love again with someone else? When you..when you went ahead and..and..God damn it Nidhi! What the HELL is going on?"
DB's eyes snapped at her. "He did something. I know he did. Warna meri bachchi aisi harkat kabhi nahi karti. Meeti meeti baaten karke apne jaal mein fasaliya hoga uss doctor ne." Her "Doctor" almost sounded like an insult the way she said it.
Nidhi closed her eyes in despair. "Nahi Dabi bua, aisa kuch nahi hain."
CV finally lost the patience at that and sat in front of his daughter.
"Meri taraf dekho Nidhi. Look me in the eye. Do you love this guy?"
Her reply came out as a whisper, not because she was unsure of her feelings but because she knew where that question would lead to. "Yes baba."
"Does he love you?"
"He didn't say baba."
"Did he say that he will marry you?"
"I never asked him to marry me baba."
"Yet you went ahead and.."
DB closed her ears, her own throat clogged up. "Paap! Nidhi, yeh jo tumne kiya haina..bina shaadi ke, yeh paap hain."
Nidhi gave her helpless look before turning back to her baba, her expression pleading him to understand.
"Baba, meine koi paap nahi kiya hain. I just went with my heart."
"And your family? Society? What did your heart say to all that? Did it tell you to kick everything and everyone aside? Did it tell you to become so selfish that you lost all sense of right and wrong?"
DB started pacing. "Arre mein toh kehti hoon Yog, we should go and meet him. He can't play around with our child's life like this. He can't smear her honour like this."
Nidhi also got up at that. "What has my honour got to do with what happened Dadi bua? I am an adult. I went into this relationship with my eyes wide open. I never asked for any promises in return. He never lied to me or deceived me in any way."
CV locked his jaw. "But he didn't make any promises either." It was a statement, not a question."
"I didn't ASK for any promises baba."
CV shook his head. "You know Nidhi, you were all of 15 when your mom passed away. Every one of us was worried. Teenage hain aur maa bhi nahi hain. Kaise sambhaalenge..kya karenge..But you never gave me any problem. You were always stable and unwavering. You knew what you wanted in your life and did everything you could to get it. You even supported Rohan when his career in sports got smashed to pieces. But now, THIS..no Nidhi. This is not done. I won't accept something like this. It might be the 21st century and there might be millions around who are happy and content with this kind of relationships but where my daughter is concerned, no. This is NOT done."
Nidhi closed her eyes. "Baba.."
"Listen to me Nidhi. Think. Think about what it is that you want to do now. Because irrespective of what went on before all this came to my knowledge, it can't be repeated. So think and decide. If you have not talked to him about the future, I think its high time you did. You do it or you want ME to do it, is your choice. I won't let people point fingers at my daughter Nidhi. You might not care about what the world thinks of you but I do. And there is no way I am going to sit by and watch you wreck your life with your own hands."
What to do? Where to go from here? She can't go and ask him. She can't back off and break things with him. May be she needed some cooling off period. May be something would strike her then. Some kind of middle ground. With that thought in mind, she applied leave for a couple of days through Anji after apologizing to her for dragging her into a mess that was her own making.
"Kuch socha hain kya Nidhi? What will you do?"
Nidhi had no answer.
"Did you at least TELL him?"
"No. It's not his problem Anji."
Anji looked almost like she wanted to slap her. "What do you MEAN it's not his problem? It takes two to tango and he was right there tangoing with you." Seeing Nidhi's mute expression, she threw up her hands. "FINE!"
The next two days went by on the same state of impasse. Neither was willing to bend and there was no middle ground for either. Until, she heard the sound of the door bell ringing and her father's "Yes?" It was followed by a deep voice, a voice that she would recognize and respond to even had she been in a coma.
"Sir, I am Dr Ashtuosh Mathur and I would like to marry your daughter Nidhi!"
But his words, when she heard them, managed to render her completely speechless. He wanted to marry her? Really? Had the absence of the last two days made him think and realize that..She cursed the hope that refused to shut its stupid mouth and ran to the main hall where her baba moved aside to let Ashutosh into the house. Once both men were seated, Ashutosh looked up at her.
"You should have told me."
Told him what? Before she could formulate that statement, he turned back to CV.
"Sir, firstly, I would like to apologize for everything that happened. I take full responsibility and with your kind permission, would like to marry your daughter."
CV looked intently at him. "Why? Why do you want to marry my daughter Dr Ashutosh?"
"Sir, I have been involved with your daughter. She is very special to me. And while I am content in not giving our relationship a name, I do realize that things don't work out that way in this society. I respect her both as a woman and as a doctor. I don't want to be the reason for her humiliation in any way." He met CV's eyes head on. "I want to marry Nidhi."
DB, who has heard the whole conversation, finally mutters. "Chalo shukr hain. Kuch toh sharm hain ladke mein. Soch kya rahe ho Yog?"
Nidhi shook her head before DB could complete her sentence.
"DB, nahi DB. Baba, please don't rush into anything like this."
It was a toss up as to who was more stunned. DB, CV or Ashutosh. His eyes flared in complete stunned disbelief before turning impassive.
"Any particular reason why you are saying that Nidhi?"
Nidhi bit her lip as she just looked at him and tried to read his thoughts. Realizing that everyone is waiting for her answer, she said the first thing that popped into her head.
"My PG. I have to clear my PG, right?"
CV shook his head before asking her candidly.
"You didn't think of your PG when you were going to marry Rohan and you didn't think of it while you went with him to Mumbai. So why now?"
Giving Ashutosh another desparate look, she finally went down on hunches before DB.
"DB, I am not saying no to marriage. Par unke maa ko guzre bees din bhi nahi hue. Achcha nahi rahega DB. Please think na."
For the first time, she saw a glimpse of sympathy in CV's eyes towards Ashutosh.
"I am sorry Dr Ashutosh. I did not know that."
"Thank you sir. But.."
DB by now had started nodding her head. "Tum teek kehti ho Nidhi. Marriage before the 6 month period is not possible. We can't do something like that."
Nidhi controlled her sigh of relief. Finally! The middle ground! Well, may be not a permanent one but still.. She didn't like bringing it up but she honestly didn't have any other way to stop this whole thing. At this point, she was more scared of losing him rather than getting him. Marriage is a forever thing for her and no matter how he acted, she was sure once done, it was a forever thing for him too. If he married her now out of some misplaced guilt, then he would have no way out. He would be boxing himself into a corner and end up resenting both her and himself.
CV too nodded. "We will wait for 6 months and then plan a wedding. Ok, Dr Ashutosh?"
Left with practically no choice, Ashutosh nodded and got up to take his leave.
"Sure sir. Whatever is agreeable to you and your family." He locked his eyes on Nidhi's face. "Nidhi, can I have a word with you please?"
Both of them walked into the lawn in the front yard. Thank me and leave. Please just thank me and leave. Don't dig and ask questions. You never wanted to know what I was thinking and feeling. Don't choose THIS moment to find out whats in my mind and heart.
"You didn't blink when I suggested a weekend affair. You didn't hesitate to come with me to Mumbai. You never said no to whatever I said or did. So why now? Why did you refuse Nidhi?"
She closed her eyes and braced herself. "Why did you propose?"
He seemed surprised by that question. "What do you mean why? I was..I am the reason you had to face all this in the first place."
"I am not a kid and you hardly held me at gun point sir. I knew what I was doing and went into it with my eyes wide open."
He sighed and ran a distracted hand through his hair. "Nidhi, I am not cornered." At her sceptical look, "Ok. Fine. Not much. I could still ignore the whole thing and wait for it to blow off. I am not going to do that. I chose to propose."
"Why? I am not the first one with whom you.." She left the sentence incomplete. "Is it because your mom pleaded my case last? Or do you think I am going to make another attempt to end my life? If that's the case, let me assure you, I am not going to do that. I don't condone suicide Dr Ashutosh. But too many things were happening and something snapped in me that day. I regret what I did from the bottom of my heart and assure you that it will not be repeated no matter what."
He remained silent all through. "Thank you for telling me that. And as for my mom, yes, she did plead your case last. She connected with you the way she never connected with any one else during the last few years. I would be lying if I say that I didn't consider that aspect. Nidhi, my parents were so crazily in love with each other that one could not survive without the other."
She nodded. "You don't want to put yourself in that position of hurting another person or being hurt by another person. I guessed as much. And I did not refuse your proposal sir. I just bought you some time. Please think. And don't worry about my family. Given enough time, they will understand. I can talk to them again once this heat dies down and the news wears off."
Self denial is a bitch. Nidhi bit her lip and averted her eyes in her effort to be strong. She was not being a magnanimous angel here. She was just being selfish. She didn't want him to regret. She didn't want to get him now only to lose him later. She didn't want him to show her heaven only to consign her to hell later. She just wanted him to..
"Why Nidhi? Why are you giving me time?"
Because I am an idiot. "I just..I want you to be su..re.." Her voice broke at that word and before she gave in to the impulse to hug him and scream out everything that she had bottled up inside her, she quickly turned and ran inside the house.
Edited by Suvika. - 12 years ago
Cricket
Bengali Shows
Hindi TV Shows
Book Talk
