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Chapter 2- Tashan
Taani looked in the mirror at her face. Her usual bright face was looking completely dull today. The usual shine in her eyes was gone. She was supposed to get ready, but she was constantly looking in the mirror lost in memories.
*FLASHBACK*
"No papa. Mumma, papa uth kyun nahi rahe. Mere papa ko kuch nahi ho sakta na. Mumma papa ko bolo na. Papa please utho na please papa please. Papa please utho papa please.", The 12 year old Taaniya was sitting by her dad's lifeless body and sobbing badly and talking desperately.
Taani sobbed, "Papa please. Papa please utho na. Papa. Papa aap ese nahi ja sakte. Papa me..."
She was half crying by her father and half jerking her mother by her saree to tell her to talk to her father and tell him to wake up. But her mother was just sitting there hiding her face and sobbing hard hiding her face while her mami tried to console her with a teary face. Everyone was crying looking at Taani's condition. Everyone knew ki for Taani and for her father, each other were the most important person in their life. They did not just share the bond of father daughter. They were each others buddies in arms, best friends, who fought together for one dream. One dream which was their life, which no one accepted. One dream which was their life's greatest passion.
Taani sobbed harder and harder, "Mumma papa ko kya hua. Mummy. Mummy roo mat na. Mummy. Mummy papa ese nahi ja sakte. Wo hum dono se bahot pyar karate he na. Mumma. Papa ko bolo na ye majak na kare. Mumma please bolo na papa ko. Mujhe, mujhe kahani kon sunayega. Mere liye... Mumma papa ko bolo na. Papa ese kyun soye he. Mumma esa nahi ho sakta na. Papa ko bolo na mumma. Mumma. Mummy, please papa ko bolo na. Mumma tum kuch bolati kyun nahi. Mumma. Mumma papa aap ko kuch nahi kehte par mujhe kaha he unhone ki wo aapse bahot pyar karate he. Sachi. Mumma wo aapki bat jarur sunege, mumma..."
Taani's mom Savitri had enough. "NAHI SUNEGE WO. NAHI SUNEGE WO SAMJHI. Tere papa mar gaye Taani. Wo mar gaye. Hame chhod ke chale gaye. Wo chale gaye. Hume chhod gaye Taani. Wo chale gaye. Wo chale gaye. Wo hame chhod ke chale gaye"
Taani looked with crying eyes at her mother in shock. Everything seemed frozen to her.
That was when she had gone into a shock. Until her mother told her anything, the 12 year old Taaniya had hope, in that innocent heart. With her mom's words, she went into a shock. A serious shock. Some another world. A dark world, where no one could approach her. No one mattered to her, where she did nothing but mumbled the words. That her father was gone. Ki aadhe raste me wo use chhod ke chale gaye.
***
Hot tears escaped her eyes again while she remembered her father's face. It seemed so different. She had lived six years without him. Was that even possible? If asked it before, anyone would have said, Taaniya can not be imagined without her father. But now, there was the new Taani. No Taaniya Shekhawat was alive. The girl who was passionate about her dream, which she and her father shared, that girl was dead. Dead along with her passion.
She gulped back the tears and looked at her teary eyes in the mirror and started combing her hair again. Her phone vibrated again. She looked at her phone. Three miss calls from Rey, Two miss calls from Samrat bhai and one from her mother. She sighed and ignored it following her routine mechanically. Usually she would try to keep herself busy with other things so that guilt did not over power her, but whenever 30th September, the day of her father's death came, unwanted, she would get reminded of all the incidents. Her fathers death and the consequences. The guilt would always empower her. These six years, on this particular day. she always stayed alone. Cried alone, tried to find peace, happiness, tried to accept the bitter truth, but she simply could not accept the change.
***
Savitri Singh Shekhawat checked her mobile again, irritated. The years had taken away her beauty. With the death of the love of her life and her husband Mahendra Singh Shekhawat, her willingness to live had slipped away. She was so lifeless. Like every other mom, she too lived for her daughter. But her daughter never seemed to love her back. She knew, she was to blame. It was all her fault. She failed to fulfill her husband's dream and became a hurdle in Taani's life, but she was helpless. Her love for her daughter, made her helpless. She just hoped one day Taani could realize why she took that decision, why she made Taani promise that.
She took a deep breath again and irritatedly checked her mobile. She had tried to call Taaniya once, but as expected she did not take the call. When she was in Jodhpur, both would always get into rifts or ignore the other. They shared a love hate relationship, but after she went to Mumbai, Taaniya always ignored her, like she could ignore the truth by ignoring her.
Her patience thinned, and she called again hoping that Taani would take the call.
***
Taani was sitting there ready before an hour in front of the dressing table. It was her favorite routine, talking to herself. It made her seem connected with her self. She remembered, her dad used to say, when you can't look into the mirror properly cause you can't meet your own eyes, understand that you are going wrong. Obvious much papa?
Her eyes filled up at just his thought. She could not look in the mirror. She could not. She was ashamed of herself, her cowardice, her decision. She could not face herself and she could not face her father.
Her phone rang again. She looked at the caller name 'mumma' and ignored it irritatedly. And then sighed and took a deep breath. She could not let her mom know any of her feelings. She recognized her mother's pain because of her father's death. She was gifted with amazing parents who loved each other so much. But still she could not ignore the bitter taste which came to her mouth at the mention of her mother. She was too soft-hearted to say it to her mom, but she blamed her, blamed her of how things went wrong.
The phone got cut and rang again, it was Rey. He had been calling too but she knew if she took the call he would know in an instance that she was not okay.. It was weird, what they felt for each other. It was such a beautiful feeling. Both the times she fell in love, her heart would be filled with amazing energy. With Rey, it was more intense, more powerful. Whenever she was with him, she forgot all the bitterness. It was so silly, the only thing which was stopping her was her cowardice. Cowardice to face her problems. and Rey was her relief, her comfort zone. He provided her the protection she needed. She never realized when she forgot everything and started to smile with Rey. He made her feel normal, at home. She would never admit how much dependent she was on him.
Her cheeks started to become pink at just his thought and a beautiful smile came on her face. She was suddenly excited to talk to him. Maybe he will make her feel normal again. The best thing about him was that he would always make her feel herself again, when she forgot herself. What she felt for him was real. She felt herself with him. He made her feel natural, original, normal yet special. How weird! She sighed and took a deep breath. The conflicts she had with herself, her only remedy was Rey, his presence, his voice, him. I love you Rey. She promised herself that when Rey will call again she will take the call.
In her impatience to talk to Rey, she took the call immediately as her phone rang again.
Taani: (in unnaturally high pitched voice) Hello Rey?
But before she could speak anything, she was met by rapid fire of questions.
Taani's mom: (silent for a second and then) Taaniya Singh Shekhawat, kya samajhati ho apne aapko. Me kabse call kare ja rahi hu aur tum phone hi nahi utha rahi. Tumhe pata he na mujhe tumhari kitani fikar hoti he. Par tumhe to kuch parwah nahi. Jab dekho tab apne aap me khoyi rehti ho. Jo man me aata he wahi karati ho. Apne alawa kisi aur ke bare me sochti bhi ho ya nahi. Yaha se kehke gayi thi ki me waha jake Swayam bhai ka bahot dhyan rakhogi. Esi chhoti chhoti bato me galatiya karati ho to Swayam ka kese dhyan rakhati hogi. Apna nahi to apne bhai ka to socho. Wo bechara itani padhai karata he aur tum usako ese treat karogi. Mumbai me bheja tha to bigadne ke liye nahi bheja tha. Pata he na mujhe bilkul pasand nahi jab tum ese behave karati ho. Apni ma ke call ko koi ignore karata he? Esi beti duniya me kisiko na mile. Abhi ese behave kar rahi ho to sasural jaogi tab to ma ko mari hui hi samjhogi na. Jab dekho khud ke bare me hi sochati rehti ho. Itane call kiye mene par koi jawab nahi. Samrat ke call ignore kar rahi ho aur phir ek ring me phone le liya? Aur ye Rey kaun he? Ya kya he? Kisaka phone samaj ke uthaya tha haan? Kahi ladko me to nahi fasi ho na. Dekh Taani...
Taani: (in a bored voice) Pata he mom, aapne mujhe yaha padhane bheja he, boyfriends banane nahi. Sau bar keh chuki he aur sau bar me sun chuki hu. Kan he mere.
Her mom stopped silent at her daughter's bitter tactics. Why couldn't she understand ki wo meri beti he. Ma hu me usaki. Usaki kitani chinta rehti he mujhe. She stayed silent controlling her tears as she knew perfectly the reason of her daughter's bitterness.
Taani: (She realized that it was bitter so trying to talk normally) Ho gaya mom?
Taani's mom: (in angry voice) Ha ho gaya
Taani: (smiling slightly. Even if she shared a love- hate relation with her mother, she missed her. After all, moms are like that. Kitani bhi irritate kare, unaki jagah koi nahi le sakata) Jay shree Krishna
Taani's mom: (teary and emotion) Jay shree Krishna Tanu. Mummy ki yad nahi aati kya? Mera phone kyun nahi utha rahi thi.
Taani looked down at her lap. Her tears escaping again. She knew she could not lie: I am sorry mom. Bas thodi... kuch aur kar rahi thi.
Taani's mom: (sadly) Papa ko miss kar rahi ho?
Taani: (teary face) Bhuli hi kaha thi
Taani's mom: Taani, Ye pehla shradh hoga unaka, jo tumhare bina hoga. Par tumhe yad he na, mene tumhe kya samjaya tha. Apne papa ko shradhanjali dena mat bhulna.
Taani: (irritated) Aapko aaj tak muje ye bate yad nahi karani padi mom. Mere liye mere dad hamesha sabse important he aur rahege. Shayad aap ko khud yad karana chahiye, ki wo kya chahte the. You need reminder not me mom.
Taani's mom: (hot tears escaped her eyes because of the venom in her own daughter's voice) Taani, hum har bat is bat pe ladte he. Aakhir tum ye kyun nahi samajhati, ki mene jo bhi kiya, wo tumhare future ke...
Taani: (angrily) Future? Mom aapko mere future ke bare me bat karane ka koi hak nahi banata. Kyunki aapne meri mom hoke mere future ko pura badal diya he. Mujhe Taaniya se Taani banaya he. You know what mom, me papa ko kab ki bhul gayi hoti, par wo aap ho, jo mujhe hamesha unaki yad dilate ho. Aapki deeds ki wajah se mujhe wo bar bar yad aate he.
Taani's mom: (sobbing) Taani...
Taani: Don't you start again mom. Duniya ki najar me aap bhale hi mahan hogi. Log bhale hi ye samajhate hoge ki aapne akele hi mere mom aur papa ki jimmedari nibhayi he, par sach to ye he, ki aap chah kar bhi mere papa ki jagah nahi le sakti. Kabhi nahi. Chahe kitana bhi try karo. Kyunki aap wo deserve hi nahi karati.
Taani's mom: (shocked) Taani. Tum apni mom se ese kese bat kar sakti ho. Mumbai me aake bado ki respect karana bhul gayi ho? Mene jo kiya wo tumhare liye kiya. Tumhare future ko secure karane. Ek ma ban ke kiya. You were not in your comfort zone. Tumhare papa nahi the Tanu, ham akele the. Jitana tum samajhati ho itana wo sab aasan nahi tha. Aur me hamesha tumhe ye nahi samjhaugi. Kyun ki tum muje samajana hi nahi chahti Taani aur shayad kabhi samaj hi nahi paogi. Ki me kesi situation me thi.
And she cuts the call.
Taani was again in pain. She irritatedly put her mobile aside. There were seven miss calls from Rey and three more from her bhai Samrat. She sighed heavily and ignored it. She could not talk to anyone like this. She needed to be calm before facing anyone. Her past would not ruin her present. She did not want to regret her present too.
The precap is the same. So sorry
Precap: Rey Taani BDF and end of Shivam. And the Diva competition is incoming. It will come at the right time. Don't worry guys, I know, you must be wondering what is happening. It is not going to be secret for long. Just in 5-6 chapters I will expose it. You will find out who Taani used to be and why she changed. And there won't be any major misunderstandings between TaaRey. BDFs or not, there feelings will be same. Once again, I hope I wrote okay and it didn't confuse.
Love you all. Following the PM list. Guys, jinhe PM na karu, please catch up to chapters and tell me if you want PM. I will definately not miss to PM you😛
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