Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba
Khana Filmi aeh!
*Translations in grey*
"Boothi siddi kar teh mere kanni vekh", a frustrated Shamsher Malik shouted at his screen model as he struggled to get her in the right frame.
Straighten you schmuck face and look my way.
"Phapha ji, ek ad hi aeh. Inna vi gussa theek nahi. Mein thehri rasoyia. Eh acting shakting metho nahi je hundi".
Dad, why are you being so aggressive for a commercial? I am but a chef, acting is not my cup of tea.
"Meinnu na samjha kudiye, teri shakal karke dhaba chalda aeh. Chup chap kamm kar".
Do not try to teach you father. I know you face is the USP of the dhaba. Now, shut up and do as I say.
The star of the commercial packed up her pride and gave her acting abilities one last push.
"Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba, shot one, take 52. Action".
"Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba. Khaana..."
Madhubala, flustered by the repeated takes, had forgotten to read her lines.
"Phapha ji mere kolon nahi hona. Kisse hor nu labh lao, koyi hero sheero. Mumbai aeh bahut mil jane ne".
Dad, I cannot do this. Find someone else, a hero types. I am pretty sure you will find someone in a city like Mumbai.
"Rabb ne inni sohni kudi meinnu tandoor tapaoun layi nahiyon ditti. Teri marzi, sadna eh taan sad. Ajj sham takk agar koyi model na aagaye, taan teri khair nahi".
God did not bless me with a beautiful daughter to have her heat up brick ovens all day. It's your call. If you want to burn all day then, be my guest. You must have a model ready to shoot by the evening OR ELSE.
"Par Phapha ji".
But dad...
"Tandoor, model, sham noon".
Tandoor, model. I will see you in the evening.
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The cow bell hung at the doorstep welcomed a posh visitor. Rishabh Kundra, the blockbuster movie actor had stepped foot into the weird part of town again. His love of food brought him to previously unexplored places. This time, he would search for the taste of his mother's homecooked meal in yet another unknown food joint: Madhubala Da Tandoori Dhaaba.
"Aaoji, Ji Aayaan noon. Kommi naara, Jai Hind!", the hostess greeted an unsuspecting visitor.
Welcome sir, come on in. Our national slogan is Jai Hind.
"Mera naam Madhubala haiga aeh, iss dhaabe di executive tandoori chef. Ateh tussi taan jaani jaan oh, saad mehmaan jo thehre. Haaye rabba, tohaanu kitte vekheya lagda aeh?", she blabbered on while directing RK to his table.
My name is Madhubala, the executive chef of the restaurant. And you, as our guest, are all knowing. OMG, you look familiar.
"Sorry for the chittr bittr ji. I am toh jhalli. Make yourself comfortable. I will be around when you are ready to order. Ateh, for being such a good sport, free di sounf khaao. Tussi vi kee yaad karoge".
I apologize for my meaningless chatter. I am crazy. I will be around when you are ready to order. And, for being such a good sport, have some saounf on the house. You will praise me forever.
Rishabh was the least bit amused by her yammering on. His stomach was growling for some good food. She had better make it right if she wanted her restaurant to stay open for another night. He turned on his tablet and googled himself to prove just how important his existence was to the world.
"Madhu.bala.", he spoke her name with a spice on his tongue pausing just enough to grab her attention. She turned to face the device in question and swung around her parandi giving the illusion of a slithering snake in her hand.
"Oh teri! Tussi meri ad che kamm karoge ji?"
OMG! Will you work in my commercial?
Rishabh was not expecting what came out of her mouth. Had she lost it? Was he dealing with a serious nut case? Why would a hundred crore club moviestar work in an ad film for a dhaaba.
"Koyi gall nahi soch ke das dena", she had seen the slight glimpse of rejection on his face.
It's okay, take you time to think and then, make a decision.
A period of disappointment followed. There was no way she was getting out of being on camera. She would never hear the end of it from her father. I told you, you cannot convince a dead fly, he would say and she would have to nod in agreement.
"What will you be having for dinner sirji?"
"Daal makhni and paratha"
"Sirji, we are closed for the day. Par ju can eat as you please. I, just letting you know".
"Thank you".
He had been getting worried seeing the empty surroundings. That cleared up a lot of doubts, she was not with the paparazzi.
"Why do you want me in your ad?"
He somehow read the shattered expectations in her eyes. She needed his help and he felt the urge to do a good deed.
"Mere phaphaji meinnu TV pe jaane laayi force kar rahe ne. Mere ko nahi hunda Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba. Filmy aeh. Mein taan sirf khaana banauna teh paise kamaouna jaandi aan".
My dad is forcing me to appear on tv. I cannot say lines like Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba. Filmy aeh. Cooking and making money is what I do best.
He laughed at the automatic puppy eyes she made with a glittering pearl of moisture ready to spring forth.
"Hasso na ji. Mere phaphji ne meinnu maar suttna aeh. Je kisse hor ne ad naa keeti taan mein bali da bakra bani samjho".
Please do not laugh. My dad will kill me. If no one else is ready to do the advertisement, I will be the scapegoat.
He was enjoying her misery almost as much as the delicious food and the intoxicating aroma of Kashmiri spices that covered her body.
"Now, this is what I call an authentic North Indian dinner. Almost as good as mama", he unknowingly praised her cooking.
She was blushing, pink and coral. Madhubala bit her lip and rolled her duppatta around her braid. Just like mama was the best compliment a guest could give to a chef. He made her, otherwise terrible, day.
"Thank you ji. Aur kuch laoge?"
"I will do you advert. Where is the camera? Make it quick". He burped, loud and clear.
She cracked up at him passing gas, even if through the more acceptable route. He shaped an almost there, stubble of a moustache and she dismissed her burning desire to call him out.
"O ji meinnu. Thank you. Thohaadi lines".
That, I, thank you. Your lines.
She handed him a piece of paper and they concluded filming in one take.
"Aao saare, Khaao saare. Mumbai de dil vich baneya: Madhubala da tandoori dhaba. Filmi aeh!"
Welcome all, eat all. Situated in the heart of Mumbai is: Madhubala da Tandoori Dhaba. Filmy aeh!
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