Hello fellow Arshi fans:
In this view, we are going to focus on this dynamic as we were thinking that the roles of these two spouses can vary, but usually the basis for the relationship to work is the same: Trust, Fidelity, Love, to Honor and Cherish, and Partners. These are the key factors that make a marriage successful. Each marriage is different and no one person can keep a marriage alive. Because there are two people involved in a marriage, it takes efforts, time, and compromise from both to make a marriage successful. Like everything else, a marriage is also a learning experience, from which we learn the art of compromise, trusting one's spouse, to love and cherish that person and as well as about fidelity, loyalty, love, and to honor and cherish them.
However sometimes marriages work and sometimes they don't, in IPKKND we get to see a variety of roles undertaken. We will begin with those that are not so impactful but exist:
Shashiji:
To date we have seen him as a father mostly, but on in the last episode, we got to see him play the role of a husband. His wife was trying to protect their daughter and needed to make an escape, and he could see how tormented she was, and so he decided that he had to help her. The only way he could indicate this was by lifting his hand and placing it on hers. She responds with a kiss to his hand, relieved that he understood. They have been married for years and still they are going strong. He allows his illness to be used as an escape route; if he wanted he could have refused, but he understands his wife's predicament.
Garima, the one that was always on the side, quiet and never saying much; she always did what her husband wanted and to date has been taking care of him since he had the stroke. She has fulfilled all her wifely duties and now she is looking for her husband's support to protect their daughter. Of course she is not disappointed by Shashiji. He is there to support her fully and whole heartedly, without forcing her to reveal all to him, showing his full faith and trust in her, his wife. To date we have not seen much in the way of Garima, except as Amma to Payal and Khushi and as a jittery anxious person who gets flustered at the first sign of trouble. This is the first time we are seeing her in the role of wife who needs the support of her husband.
Relationship Dynamics:
These two understand each other and working with each other, they complement each other. Garima has a short fuse as can be seen from the beginning of the show, which Shashi ji knows how to handle. Whatever the past maybe, these two will stand together, for what is more important in a marriage. What they do have is complete trust and faith in each other, something that is very essential for a marriage. They are equal partners in this marriage, where they will support each other no matter what, which only comes about with complete love, honoring and cherishing your spouse, as well as there is no question of fidelity being an issue in this marriage. We have seen how dedicated and selflessly Garima takes care of Shashiji, who in turn, though does not know the full story of Garima Daadi connection, is still willing to support her in her actions to ensure Khushi's happiness and well-being.
Maamaa:
What have we really seen of him? He seems to be a yes guy, who follows his wife's orders and was taken to be a wimp – but then when it came to Aakash's wedding he stood up to her and supported his son. We have really not seen much of him and currently the poor guy has disappeared – was Manorama truly that bad????
Maami:
An over dominating dynamite, she loves her English; however she pronounces it, her bite is worse than her bark. She seems to get on well with her hubby and love him but we can sometimes see him get exasperated with her. Maami seems to be perfectly happy with Maamaaji being away so much and seems to care a great deal for him however she seems to be happy as long as she can continue her lavish lifestyle. We have yet to see her missing Maamaaji, when he is away, or her having flashbacks of happy moments in the past that she has spent with him. It is almost as if now that she got what she wanted, which was to marry into the Raizada Family, she is perfectly content to just rule the nest.
Hard to peg, not really seen too much interaction, on the face of it, it has problems here and there as they both do not always see eye to eye and one usually is giving more that then other. We wonder if this marriage has that complete trust and faith that is present in the marriage of Garima and Shashiji. Or did this marriage only survived simply because Maamaaji is away travelling so much, and as such not much interaction between this pair? We do question if Maamaa would have every married Maami, if not for the fact that she was pregnant with Aakash, when she got married. There have been no other offspring from this union. Also, what was the reason for their marriage, how did they meet all of these questions still need to be answered.
Aakash:
Aakash so far as we can see has not made any adjustments or compromise after marriage. It seems like he just wanted to get a caretaker who will take care of all his needs, incase his mom is not around. We have not seen him support Payal, nor be there for her, is not understanding, and should a situation arise similar to what Garima and Shashi face, we can guarantee, that the way he is shown right now, he would not be supportive at all of Payal. He is great at telling Payal when she is wrong and what Payal should do and reminding her of her responsibilities, but has yet to fulfill his responsibility towards her or do what he should be doing. He has yet to learn the art of compromise and that he needs to make an effort and put his time into this marriage as well. After all we cannot clap with just one hand can we? It takes two to tango. Strangely enough, he was a lot more mindful of her needs when they were not married, he was running circles around her, kind of like when you really want to buy something and get it into you mind that you have to get it, and now that he has it he is no longer bothered.
Payal:
A small town girl she is very different from her sister Khushi who will take the bull by the horns and deal with the situation; this one usually tends to stand in the background and stay quiet or shed tears. Her greatest fault is that she finds it necessary to impress Aakash by being someone she is not; she does not realize that who she pretends to be is the one thing that Aakash seems to dislike. We also believe that nothing of her character has been shown to date though recently she has began to speak up, but we would love to see her interaction with Aakash on proper levels (yes we hear some of your sighs at what do we care about them). We would ideally like to see her become strong and taking a better role in Aakash's life, especially being able to tell him at least whether he is right or wrong!
Relationship Dynamics:
These two have not really been shown working together, mostly because the CV's have neglected them. Currently what we see of these two is that one fell rapidly in love, pursued and married the other, and then let go of working at the marriage; whilst the other is insecure in her status in his life and therefore is trying to impress him. If these issues are not resolved they will fester until something happens to separate them. They do not seem to have any intimate moments, and what moments have existed till now, have been quite stale. There is no open communication between them, which is very important in a relationship, the trust and faith that should be there between a husband and wife is also very much missing.
Arnav:
Arnav is a complex character one could spend most of their day dissecting this one, but we will try and keep it as brief as possible. Arnav has a checkered past, and because of this he has become a hard-edged person, not really a bad person but one that prefers to hide behind his tough image. Before his marriage he played the rude arrogant guy, he then began to get a taste of love but had a rude awakening on seeing the girl he was falling for in his brother in law's arms. He forcefully married her stating she would have no rights as a wife and just be bound by a six month contract. At this point he was a horrible husband, one that found every reason to hurt her, yes there were times that he would feel for her, he would protect her and we would see him care for her, but the things he did to her in this period; in another woman's life would have been beyond repair. One misreading of an event led to the following:
- Forcing Khushi to marry him
- Forcing her to sleep outside
- Demeaning her
- Taunting her
- Making her look bad in front of her family
- Being slapped by her mother who probably remembered her own past
- Not being accepted at home
- Continuously hurting her both verbally and physically, bruising her, even if unintentionally, calling her cheap, accusing her and not telling her why he was accusing her.
- Continuously throwing at her that she was a gold digger
However, his heart did try to pull its way out and over the mind, but Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada refused to accept what his heart said until he was kidnapped. Then he continually thought of his wife, but we think he just decided to forgive her, not actually believe she was innocent. She saved him, and she nearly died for him and when she told him who was behind the kidnapping he was surprised. We are not sure at what point he believed her, but we think, to our dissatisfaction, that it was when Shyam blurted out everything opposite to what he had told Arnav and that point he realized his wife was truly innocent. Even after this, he hurt her once again hurling hurtful words and making her cry. Realizing his mistake, he understood he was wrong and that he needed her back in his life so he began to do everything he could to get her back. He tried to effectively woo her but was unsuccessful, with her finally escaping. He following her to the Gupta house and continued to pursue her until he finally got her back and gave her gifts that spoke volumes for her, especially the pearl necklace that reflected her lost dreams being given back to her.
Finally when he thought he had her and was ready to spend the night with her she told him they were not married fully and needed to meet all the rasms to do so. He being of a liberal mind thought that their marriage was complete, however Daadi overhears and finally to save her grace he accepts the remarriage proposal. After this he actually does finally realize that he has been the cause of most of her problems. From this point onwards till now we have been watching his role as a husband build; he is being caring and loving, but will their love survive the next storm? Does he trust and believe in her and have faith in her? His wrong decision here might very well break the Camel's back, and Khushi just might leave him and give up on their relationship for good. This time it might be nearly impossible for him to get her back.
Khushi:
Khushi is a small town girl with a big mouth is probably what best describes her; where most feared ASR she stood up to him, however, she was punished for this very act as well! Khushi has a habit of keeping things secret for the best of others not realizing that this can lead to other problems. One would now hope that she will get to realize that keeping secrets is not such a good idea. As a wife she has probably been the most consistent one, most likely following both her mothers and aunt's footsteps. However she is not one to stay and hope and let things go; this is one wife that, when she senses trouble gets up to help rather than wonder what to do next. She has supported Arnav even when she was forced to marry him, seeing their marriage as sacred, she continued to support him whilst he was taunting her and abusing her verbally. She then forgave him for his doubts even though he was undeserving of it, as she understood that he had misunderstood the situation; had it been any other woman she would most likely have slapped him on the face and left. He then hurled abuse at her when his sister tried to harm herself, and this was the final blow for her and she left.
He tried and tried to win her and finally he did when he gave her the pearl necklace, giving her a partial confirmation that she did mean something to him. By the time he tried to get close to her and seal their marriage, she had realized they were not fully married. A lot of you might have thought but she has lived with him, she still accepts him as her husband. Difference here is, she thought she was married to him, but not all the cultural/religious processions had taken place; this does not mean she does not think he is her husband. She still thinks that, but for her own conscience she needs to have the entire wedding ceremony completed. Although it might not seem like a big deal, in the type of society that they live in, if anyone actually found how they were married (and yes society can find out, because those of you that have forgotten, Shyam knows why they got married; and although he might not know how they got married, or about the six month contract; he would have a rough idea, enough so as to cause problems for them later on). It would cause havoc in their lives, a lot of turmoil and damage to Khushi and her reputation, as well as that of her family, as can be seen just by the two families finding out.
Khushi is now being loved by Arnav completely, and for her, this is Shaitan and her prince, she has seen the Shaitan a lot, now she is being pampered by her prince. We wait for the day that the two different sides of Arnav finally balance out giving us a superb hubby. We would like to see Khushi develop further and become stronger, to be able to make a place for herself and to be able to actually always be by her hubby's side.
Relationship Dynamics:
These two have probably been the worst couple in history; these guys have done everything backwards in their relationship. We actually would not have been surprised if the wedding had truly gone backwards! The interesting thing is that their love for each other has gotten stronger through the hate and now they love each other a lot, but the question is will this love be able to handle the next big storm in their lives? Do they have that complete trust, faith and unconditional love for each other which will ensure the survival of their relationship through any turmoil that comes their way? So far we have seen Arnav's trust, faith and love tested, and he has learned the hard way that these matter. What we have not seen is Khushi's trust, faith and love for Arnav tested yet. Will that pass the test that it will have to go through or will it fail, like Arnav's did? If we had to guess this is one marriage that we feel, will, in time will be as strong as Shashiji's and Garima's.
Shyam a/k/a Skunky:
Skunky is a two faced fool, that thinks he is the smartest thing available on earth, and god's gift to women. As a husband he has failed, he has nothing to offer any wife apart from his lowly ways. He has not been able to provide for his wife who is actually the one supporting him; he does not spend much time with her, except now that he needs her in his life in order to get what he wants, he has not really been loving or caring as all this has been a ruse. He has attempted to kill her in order to marry Khushi but has been unsuccessful. The guy has a lot of hate in him for the Raizada Parivaar so one has to wonder how strongly he is connected to the past! He wanted to live a life of luxury with his wife on one side and Khushi as his second wife on the other. He manipulated his way into the Gupta house whilst fooling his wife saying he is at work. He really did a thorough number on Anjali, who had no idea what was happening; even when the truth was coming out, he manipulated the whole scenario to his benefit. The guy is both greedy and malicious; he wants to get a hold of the Raizada wealth, but for what purpose? We still have no idea who his parents were, what happened in his past. What do you have up that pathetic little mind of yours? We know that you will cause some kind of havoc. It is only by Devi Maiya's grace that you end up failing in your major endeavors in the end, and only end up winning the little endeavors.
Anjali:
Anjali is a girl that loves to believe the unbelievable; to date she has not been able to see the reality of her husband. Instead she worships him to death. She loves staying in a dream world, blocked off from reality, and her thought process is the following: "I'm completely against the world and I have to do everything possible to keep by hubby happy. I have to be suspicious of any bad things happening like glass breaking, mangalsutra dropping; the wind blowing too fast when he is not home. Where the hell do I stop? After all he is my husband; surely I have to worry about him!" However, how much do we know about this guy? Even now we do not know why he behaves the way he does. Back to Anjali, whatever happened in Anjali's and Arnav's life has impacted them both in a completely different way.
Arnav is now changing, and we do believe that over time we will see Anjali realize the truth and one way or another something will happen to make her come out of her little dream world. She had her suspicions even before she found out the truth, but she decided to ignore them as she fervently attempted to keep a hold on her husband. Once the truth was out she decided to ignore all facts and focus on the fact that she cannot live without her husband. Is this deliberate or is she really this lost a cause? We do understand that she is pregnant, but still, it is hard to ignore the obvious, and can you really just push everything to the back of the mind and hope for the best? Can you really ignore the fact that your brother told you that he was kidnapped? That he told you that your husband was a cheat and a liar? At some point we are all responsible for our own actions, and to pretend ignorance is no excuse, one that is not acceptable even by God.
Relationship Dynamics:
Well, this is an interesting one; the entire marriage is a lie here. He married her to gain entry into the wealth and he has been using her since. No one knows what he has been up to or what he has done; she has complete faith in him and cannot see him as doing any wrong, so where does this leave their relationship? Currently it is being manipulated by him and she is the puppet that is having her strings pulled; we wonder when she will turn on him and teach him a lesson? We are all waiting for that day to come, however let us see how long we have to wait for that day. This relationship is definitely destined to failure as none of the inherent basis required in a marriage are present.
The most important factor they both think they know the other, but in reality neither knows the other at all. Anjali is assuming that Shyam can be redeemed and is not capable of true evil, and Skunky believes that his wife is this weak woman that he can control and that she can never harm him. Little does he know that inside this soft exterior, she is a Raizada or Malik through and through! She has her Daadi's backbone and her brother's steely resolve and ruthlessness. This marriage looks like at this stage that it is definitely headed for a termination.
As we can see above we are seeing various marriages in this show that are at various stages, and we will be seeing as to how each pair deal with the onslaught faced by their marriage and whether they survive them or not. When one looks at this show, closely, this is more than just a love story. We are shown different aspects of mothers, marriages, husbands and wives and how they deal with each other, as well as the rest of the world as a couple and how much they put into their marriage and their relationship with each other.
Out of all of them, if there was one marriage that had to be held up as an example of what Marriage should be, then Garima's and Shashiji's marriage is the one. Out of all three marriages in the younger generation, it looks like that with the test of time Arnav and Khushi's marriage is the only one that seems likely to match up to Garima's and Shashiji's marriage example. Aakash and Payal, while on the outside might look like perfect, is full of cracks on the inside that they both are covering up and ignoring them. They have a chance of making a success of their marriage, as long as they stop ignoring the cracks in their marriage and take steps to repair them. Anjali and Skunky, well that one is a marriage based on lies and deceit, and has absolutely no chance of surviving.
Here is a question we would like you to ponder and answer, silent readers, please add your views, we would love to hear from you and all of you regulars, please let us know what you think!
We finally leave you with the following poem:
"The Secrets Of A Good Marriage" by Ellie Kelsch
Growing up I've learnt about love,
I've been surrounded by it everyday.
I'm so glad you've both found it,
And it's why we're here today.
They say there's secrets to a good marriage,
That there are rules to obey,
But the most important rules of love,
Are what you two do everyday.
It's the ''hey babes'' in the morning,
It's how she makes his tea,
It's the way he smiles at her,
Such a sweet thing to see.
It's never being to old to hold hands,
Or to watch movies on the couch,
It's accepting all the flaws,
Even when the other's a grouch.
It's telling him he's not going grey,
It's the ''You look fine in those jeans''
It's ignoring the mid-life crisis,
and all her little ''scenes''.
It's facing the world as one,
And it's more than love at first sight,
It's together being a family,
Each and every day and night.
It's the way he looks into her eyes,
It's the way that she looks too,
It's why they stand before us,
and it's why they said ''I do''.
And now I stand here today,
On this important moment in life,
With two people very in love,
Now husband and wife.
Growing up, I've learnt about love,
and seeing it today proves it true,
You've both taught me so much,
And I'd be lucky to be half as happy as you.
Question Of The Day:
Every relationship has its share of problems, and all couples have to work for it. How far do you agree with the analysis above in regards to the characters; and how true do you think it is that in today's day people actually do try and strike a balance? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD TO OUR MY VIEW WITH YOUR ANSWER.
Till the next time…
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