Arranged marriages, YES or NO

U cant say tht either arrange marriage or love marriage is key of successful marriage life. Every system hs its iwn plus and minus. Its up to individual and sometime on luck, to make it success or failure. In practical it hs been seen tht generally love marriage r more often fails thn arrange marriage. I m not blaming the system itself, but i think the reason behind it tht, before marriage till marriage, lovers live in their dream land, where everything is rosy. They dont hv much responsibility but just enjoy being together. Even seing each other or sometime just the memory make their life excited. But whn they enter in the marriage life they hv to face some other reality, where their r responsibility, compromises, adjustment with families etc and tht time they realise tht life is not as rosy as they thought and this lead conflict between couples.

I just want to add one more point to ankit's great reply -- which forum member eshabasuthakur made on a thread a long time ago --

In any relationship (whether love or arranged), what matters is that the internal core values should match. Mostly, parents and children both sort of generalize on the basis of external similarities and this may be the cause for relationships falling apart (be it love or arranged).

for instance, Jagya and anandi were married as children based on external similarities. Even if they had had an arranged marriage as adults, it would still be based on external aspects -- such as social status, similarity that they both came from a village background, similarity that they both speak rajasthani etc. However, internally both J and A have completely diametrically opposite values -- he wanted modernity and is self-centric -- she values tradition and puts society and others above self.

Likewise -- from an external perspective Shiv and Anandi are poles apart - He is city bred, London educated, holding a high post, into exercise and health kicks etc. etc. and Anandi is born and raised in a village, has studied in Jayetsar and that too without attending a college - she did an online degree course (which means she lacks intellectual interaction with others) -- and is the sarpanch of a village that was till now very, very small and only recently metamorphosed into a district. A sarpanch is a very junior position. And anandi does not exercise and has other hobbies such as pickling mangoes, making handicrafts etc. etc.

But internally they are mirror images of each other -- they have the exact same core values -- social development; respect for honesty rather than physical appearance; do not use their education as status symbols to enhance themselvers -- rather they use their education to bear fruit in society; they are both so committed and brave that they would rather risk their life to save others than just sit back in comfort and let others suffer etc. etc.

It is very important in any marriage that the internal core values of both individuals be the same.

And whether arranged or love one has to be careful that one is looking at internal values rather than superficial, on the surface traits.

@ Tinoo: a hundred likes to your post😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

both work equally well if u meet the right person and both can suck if u pick the wrong one.

In a love marriage the individual decides on who his /her partner should be and what are the criteria required in that person to be his/her partner.