A peep into MM's Past,Present& Future lives

The next turning point was when he realized on Holi day how he had wronged her and Amar ...he vowed to himself that he will redeem his wrong from that day onwards, whatever she said or did failed to irritate him as before and he was on the look out to help her whenever possible..

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Yet another turning point was when Prateek started to misbehave with Megha'.Mohan started having strong protective feelings towards Megha' even at that time he could not define that it was Love that he felt'though Guru's ma baap kahanis did have him thinking about his growing feelings for Megha . In fact Prateek served as a major catalyst to build up his feelings. As prateek's antics grew,his protectiveness and feelings for megha also grew..

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And one of the most important turning point was when Megha finally understood his motives when he recued her from Prateek's hands. Her remorse.turned into intanst trust as well, and from that moment he became her best and most trusted friend. after that his feelings for her became stonger and deeper' and the way he was smiling,hanging on to her words..that adoring expression on his face.. His love and adoration for her was so purely evident on his face'His love and adoration for her was so purely evident on his face Indu,seeing that while passing by in the car,remarked that after Rasmi,it was the first time she hd seen him laughing and happy like that. In that split second he also realized that before he concealed it and replied his mother in his usual nonchalant way. Probably he was afraid to explore it further.

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And then came the next turning point..which ended in his confession to himself and to megha..Yes,The Rasmi track..

The accidental and unexpected meeting with Rasmi ,when he was least prepared for it left him tongue tied and confused. Apparently they had not resolved matters between themselves before she left India.He did not know how to react even when Rasmi was talking to him in a most insulting way..He got the shock of his life when Megha stepped in and cooly anounced to Rasmi that she was Mrs.Batnagar..but during the next few days,the way Megha supported him,the way she answered rasmi's taunts and the way she protected him from her insults '.. his feelings increased for her by heaps and bounds ..which left him overwhelmd..and he was trying to sort it out and understand what exactly was happening to him,while watching Megha on the terrace laughing with jiji..When guru came and asked him.bhaiya, eh kya ho raha hai,he replied.wahi mein bhi smachne ka koshish karraha hum.'.The farm house scenes, the confession to himself that yes, he loved megha..all were part of that understanding.And he realizsed that he was no longer affected bu Rasmi, that Megha was his present and Megha will be his future as well.[though the final closure came at Rasmi's engagement only]. But as he said, he was afraid to tell it to her because his fear of losing her and her friendship was much greater than his joy of possessing her.He knwew that it will not be easy for megha to accept his love'with so many restrictions binding her..he wanted them to be friends at least'But he was forced to confess because he cornered him about going back to Rasmi..seconds after the confession,he realized that he was going to lose her friendship also and the trid to salvage it by taking back his confession..But still the damage was done'And more than that restrictions impsed by both the families also affected their friendship adversely.

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And then came the following... Amar investigation, the Indore trip ,and finally clearing of Amar's name.during which Mohan realized the extent of love Megha has for Amar and he was aware of his imperfections for the first time..And he realizsed that no one could take Amar's place in Megha's life..And true to his nature, he did not want to also.He wanted to create his won place in her life without encroaching upon Amar's place' When Megha tried to stop him from leaving the mohalla..he threw all caution to he wind and confessed his love for her again'admitting to himself and to her that thi is his truth and he did not planto run away from it anymore'

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Then many incidents happened ..the writing of theLetter,the slap scene,the gun shot and the events preceding and succeeding that,and his proposal to her dangling the MS before her...her acceptance of Manav's proposal,her engagement to Manav,his attempts to find out about Manav's apparent shady past with the hope of putting a stop to megha .Manav marriage..,his inability to do so and the insult he suffered from Vyas family as a consequence .

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Then finally,as a last resort,and after heeding to his Moher's challenge & under the effect of alcohol,The Final Grand Confession in front of the entire Vyas family,Megha included!!. He bared open his entire heart and mind...and it was a very moving incident...He knows with surety that he can give Megha the happiness that she truly deserves..he wants to join hands with her and make the rest of the journey of their lives together. The way he described about how he battled with and experienced different feelings towards her ...from hatred--->intense dislike--->irritation---->respect--->guilt for having wronged her---->grudging admiration ---->adoration...>until he finally fell head over heels in love with this lady...it touched everybody's heart...except Renu's and Sanjay's.And the realization that it was Mohan who wrote the letter which everyone had persumed to be written by Amar as his last wish...well,that melted away any oppositon or hesitancy that might have been there in papji's and MIL's mind.And as for Megha,she finally realized the extent and depth of Mohan's love for her and was thoroughly shaken by it.

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But she was a little too late in confessing her love for him,and Mohan,thorughly dejected and depressed,left the Vyas house a shattered man...And it was at this juncture that he did the most impulsive ,foolish,irresponsible and unjustifiable act of his entire life..He went and got married to Riddima..a girl he barely knows, in a hurry ,apparently becuse of the fact that her father was in death bed and her parents forced him to marry her then and there..but the fact cannot be denied that he would not have agreed for this so called magnanimous act if Megha had confessed her love for him...So there...!!!

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And when he returned home after his shaadi escapade...lo!! Megha was waiting for him, hair down and all...and she not only confessed her love to him,but cam e running to him and hugged him as well...He was thrown into a terrible dilemma between wanting to do the right thing by Riddima and wanting to accept his Love Megha.

And in real filmy style,Riddima agrees to set him free and gave back the MS...And our Mohan agrees to his gladly and got ready for his marriage to megha..Though he had the intention to tell Megha about himself and Riddima before marriage itself,Guru stopped him and he also tried to justify himself...and though it was so very wrong...rather unpardonable of him to do so,he went ahead and married Megha...with apparently no qualms about his status with Riddima.. causing disillusionment,disappointment and depression to all of us fans who Love him so much...

Now when did all that change ? Actually it was an instant or overnight transformation in her case...following the final incident related to prateek at the jannath resort.. the transformation of hatred and dislike to complete trust. Till then whatever little concern she has been showing him..like being anxious whether the monkey man harmed Mohan, offering to share her food with him when they were stuck in the lift. etc,. was just the concern she showed towards a colleague and neighbor.

He became her most trusted friend...and she badly wanted to repay what he ahd done for her.very soon she got an opportunity to do so. Yes!! With Rasmi... ..and just as he also helped her without her consent and even after she had rejected his help many times, she also started helping him out in spite of Mohan not really agreeing with it. And there was also this urge to protect him from Rasmi's taunts. Yes,he wanted to protect her from prateek and she wanted to protect him from Rasmi's assault.A Guru rightl said in one of his Ma Bapu kahani, that feeling of protectiveness is a sure sign of LOVE.

She herself must not have been consciously aware of that...but somewhere along the way during the Rasmi track, her feelings for him must have started to evolve into something different other than friendship.. .. Even if she were aware of that it would not have been easy for her to identify and name her changing and growing feelings..because it would have been totally different from the feelings she must have felt when she fell in love with Amar first.

She was a teenager then.

And for teenagers it is usually like this..

infatuation...>passion...>...trust...>love.

But now she is a much older and mature woman,and that who has had a fulfilled experience of love before.

In older women it is usually like this...

friendship..>companionship..>respect..

...>trust..>love...>passion.

Megha reached from friendship stage to respect and trust stage very quickly.She was aware of that also.But she was not aware when she passed that stage and started loving him.Even if she had been aware, it is only natural for her to fight from acknowledging it immediately..given the fact that she is a widow, she has 2 kids and their responsibilities, the restrictions imposed by family and society, and her still intense love for her dead husband.

And after Mohan's confession and backing out at Rasmi's engagement, she did exactly that ,while talking to Amar's photo...she refused to acknowledge Mohan's feelings.She valued Mohan's friendship very much and was not ready to lose it. But she was not ready to acknowledge the fact that Mohan might be really in love with her. She did not even want to think about it.And she did not want to think about what her feelings for Mohan is, beyond friendship.But from that time onward, her conversations with Amar has been mostly about Mohan and without her realizing she had put Mohan on nearly the same pedestal as Amar.

And when she realized for sure that Mohan was crazy about her, it was not anger that she felt about him..It was frustration, helplessness &unhappiness that their friendship would be affected..because she had come to depend on him and his involvement in her life so much. And also the thought that Mohan really deserves a much better girl than her...with her 2 kids in tow and with lots of additional responsibilities.

So then she tried to keep a safe distance from him,esp after his Mother accused her o snatching her son..Was she happy doing that? No!!

But fate decided otherwise..Megha had to go to Bhopal along with Mohan to investigate Amar's case.She was thrown into Mohan's company...and she enjoyed it as well, though she tried her best to convince him by giving many hints about how fulfilled her life with Amar had been and how she needed only those memories to sustain her for the rest of her life.There was a huge MU after he apparently handed over the CD he got from Bhopal house to Dinanath. Megha, to give her credit tried for the longest time to hold on to her faith in him.Actually in that unguarded moments she almost let him know that she was aware of his true feelings for her. And she also confessed in front of everyone that after Amar if there is one person whom she trusts completely it is him, Mohan. She was badly shaken that day. Though the fact that Mohan had given a v imp evidence which would have helped prove Amar's innocence pained her a lot, more than that it was her shattered faith in him that affected her. And she made such a hurting remark to Mohan the next day at PL..which shattered him and made him decide to leave the Mohalla.And our dear Megha, once she realized what Mohan had actually done and how unfairly she had accused him..had thoughts only for him.She did not think about Amar even for a moment.Her concern was only for Mohan..She went running to stop him from leaving the Mohalla but had to back out when Mohan threw the HAQ wala question on her face. And this time Mohan confessed his love for her openly. Though she backed out apparently unsuccessful in trying to stop him from leaving, Mohan himself came back because he realized that there is still hope for him to win her ..And by God, she was so happy to see him back, though she couldn't admit that to herself.

Many of us have been criticizing her for having holding on to Amar japa incessantly.She had a love marriage, and lived an idyllic life for 11 yrs..before everything was snatched away from her..Is it so difficult to understand that she would still be in love with her dead husband ? Is it wrong if she feels that she can live with those memories for the rest of her life and did not need anyone else..Is it wrong if she thinks that she cannot let anyone else take his place in her life? I think she has been perfectly justified in being reluctant or unwilling to let go of the past..

But whether she wanted to or not, the release came when finally Amar was proved to be innocent. She did not realize it herself, but at that moment, she started the letting go process. Remember the conversation she had with Amar's photo on the day he was proved innocent? How she promised to him that she will live again happily, smiling..and that she was sure that he also wanted that. And when she saw the white kaboothar, she assured herself that Amar also desired the same thing..But though at the subconscious level the letting go process had started, at a conscious level, she was not ready for that.

She did not even dare to dwell too much about her developing feelings..because she was really scared what she will find out about herself.This tug of war between her conscious self and subconscious self was evident on the day Mohan and guru came over to vyas house for dinner. She peeped at him when he entered the house.There was something so childlike in that gesture...as if she was hiding not only from him but herself also. When she thought that Mohan was going to offer the flowers to her, she could have very well removed herself from that place in some pretext or other. The same when he tried to offer her the red rose right under papaji's eyes..But she did not do that..Why? Because a part of her was enjoying the attention Mohan was giving her. And she caught herself smiling at Mohan's jokes..tried to suppress it,.. rushed over to get him a a hankie when he spilled dhal on his shirt.And though she took it as her right to fight with him and make so many remarks about him, she could never bear it when someone else does that. The way she rushed to take Mohan's spoiled shirt from the dust bin to clean it, where Renu had thrown it away is clear evidence of that. Poor girl !!She was so scared of her own feelings,she was feeling guilty as well that she actually has started thinking about another man .Such guilt,though irrational,is bound to occur in such instances.If only she could realize that it is possible to love Mohan without erasing Amar's love and memories from her heart and life. And more importantly, she honestly felt that Mohan deserved a better deal ..much better than what she along with her kids could offer him.

If only she was willing to share her inner turmoil with someone. But NO!!This is where she is committing her first mistake..and she has been adding on to it, and finally she reached a stage where she was on the verge of jeopodrisizng not only her life but the life of her kids as well.

Regarding why she slapped him at the park when he confronted her about her feelings..he was trying to force her to think about those things which she had been purposefully avoiding.And the slap and running away from him was just an escapism ...and again she tried to justify herself,though with each passing day it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to do so. . and now that Mohan had openly told her that she was hiding from herself also, she also started watching herself ! Her pouring out kaada for him also was proof of the fact that she really cared for his well being..and when she realized that she tried to throw away the kaada, as if it would change anything.!!!

The confrontation with Indu at the temple was a really sad one..Never for a moment did she feel that Mohan was a child and is not capable of shouldering the responsibilities that come with marrying a widow with 2 kids. But she still maintained that Mohan deserved a much better deal. And that is why she agreed to do something which would make him forget her..and move on with his life..But her resolution was thrown to the winds when she realized that Mohan was going to undertake a dangerous investigation...she tried to stop him,..but again backed out when he threw the HAQ wala Q at her face.But she couldn't sit still without doing anything,and she rushed to him along with karan when she became aware of the real danger he was in.

And though she did not confess even to herself, that incident...the shooting ..the moments immediately after that,and during the journey in the car to the hospital..this was the first step of her self acceptance ..of her feelings for him ,though it was still largely at a sub conscious level.But if anyone has noticed, the Amar japa stopped completely after that...she herself must not have realized it..but that was indeed a turning point, though we all failed to see it..bec we were all so disappointed with the track.And she did not care what anyone would think also..when she told Papaji she was going to stay back in the hospital..And,if not for Indu,if not for Indu's bitter accusation and hurting words,she would have moved forward in her acceptance of him much faster.

But Indu's words hurt her to the core. When she came back from the hospital,she talked to Amar's photo about that . Megha's one sentence while talking to amar's photo struck me... main ekh aur ma se uska beta chein nahin sakthi..

After Amar's death, the accusation that he had been corrupt, must have caused so much resentment in Saroj's heart.We have also heard her cribbing that but for Megha Amar would have been alive. Megha must have had to listen to this constantly over these years,esp the past 3 years ...How it must have pained her !!

And now,the second man she has fallen in love with, though she has not admitted it even to herself...she saw him face to face with death...and this man's mother also accused her of trying to grab her son away from her,accused her of being responsible for his brush with death.

She has had so much pain in the past 2 yrs hearing such accusations constantly ,from one mother.. And now she is hearing it from another mother, and this too of the man she has come to love so much'main ise koh nahin sakte..was her words to the doctor..

When she talked to Amar's photo ,she begged him to show her a way ,and as if as an answer to her Q she is getting to read the letter apparently written by Amar.And it is here that she took a very foolish decision of her life.. her announcement to the whole family that she is willing for 2^nd marriage was done impulsively.No one was forcing her to make immediate decisions. She could have asked for time.This is one instance where I totally disapprove of what she did. But what was done could not be undone, esp due to her stubborn nature...

And on top of it she was trying to justify herself also.I really felt like shaking her.!!!!

Next came the MS scene,which was an end result of a series of MU caused by papaji,guru,jiji,& Nanhi.At that time also,she rejected him...hurling such words at him,that sounded hollow even to herself. Definitely Mohan was not hurt much by her accusations,because he knew that she was lying...and was just making excuses to reject him..he knew she also loved him.Rather he was frustrated that she is not having the courage to face her feelings.And I loved it when he challenged her that she does not have the himmath to acknowledge her feelings even to herself.As I mentioned before,she always rises to the bait when challenged and here also she did the same..After her breakdown at the terrace following Mohan's departure,she was shown to be thinking about that only..and finally came the self confession scene.Though many of us were of the opinion that the scene could have bee made better,the fact is that she consciously acknowledged and accepted the fact that she does love Mohan, and that her growing feelings for him right fromRamsi days were due to her developing love for him..

Though she told him to get out of her life,she was visibly upset when he started ignoring her,and when apparently his marriage was fixed..She wanted to push him away..but she wanted to hold on to him as well. She even started day dreaming about him..the rain.umbrella scene .

She had requested Manav to give her some time to decide about marrying him and I was heaving a sigh of relief..I was hoping that she will reject suitors on one pretext or other.But here also her impulsive nature and her tendency to rise to the bait when challenged has been her undoing.When mohan challenged her saying that nothing can prevent them from becoming one and that she herself cannot do anything about it.She was like..teek hai..I will show that I can do everything about it...and she literally dragged him to her house and announced before everyone that she was ready to marry Manav..

And even after her engagement with Manav,she day dreamed about Mohan only..The cake scene at PL ..how can we forget that? And the Pl corridor scene which has been the most beautiful and intimate MM scene to date..as far as I am concerned..Mohan, after whispering in her ears that she is his life and she is his happiness& his life, his happiness is all in her only, and that he will hold on to it any cost ,withdrew from her.Megha was left standing alone in the corridor with her eyes closed and clutching the bracelet to heart. It was evident that she was very much affected by his words..but she was still unable to confess her love to him..because she knew that once she does that nothing will stop him from claiming her...When he tried to prove Manav a fraud,and failed to succeed in it...she could understand that his motive has been to save her..but she was not willing to stand by him even then...

And finally, she heardfrom him directly,how much he really loved her..how his love was not just infatuation..but went far far deeper than that...He confessed about it in front of her whole family.The way he described how his love evolved...it was very moving...Nanhi who was witness to all that was seen to loook up at mohan so adoringly and wonderstruck...And Megha realized that it was Mohan who wrote the letter that they had all thought was written by Amar...Megha realizsed the depth of his love for her then..and she was very much affected by the knowledge..But Indu's words were reverberating on her mind.That is why in spite of his begging her in front of everyone to confess her love,she still hesitated..

And as we all know,it appears that she will have to pay a heavy price for that delay in confession.

Once she confessed to everyone she felt care free..She was delighted when Papaji and MIL agreed to get her married to Mohan.And she was overwhelmed when MIL promised to talk to Indu and make her understand about accepting Megha...Most of the people here thought that it was odd that she was dreaming about her future with Mohan instead of going in search of him...But she did try to ring him up as she told him later..and how was she to know that he will go and get married to another girl..in such a hasty way?? And as to her twriling around in the rain,it was a very spontaneous thing she did..She had been holding herself rigid so far..and the moment she let herself free..she could not contain it..and danced around in joy...I loved that scene..And it is not written anywhere that only teenagrgers can rejoice in love..and older women should be serious about it...And for heaven's sake she is not very old..hardly 28-29 yrs old,the age when many women get married ,these days..!!!

One thing about Megha is..she is very spontaneous and open about expressing her feelings,especially affection and love,and verbally too,once she lets herself loose.And we have been witnessing that also...since her confession..The way she mischeviously planned to surprise him when he came back..by letting her hair down and calling out Aji sunte ho..the way she scolded him for being late,threw herself on him after saying I LOVE YOU , the way she reassured him the next day that there is no need to open out about everything regarding each other at the outset itself..and that the only thing that matters is their love for each other and faith in each other's love...

Little did she realize that there is such a big test waiting for her..Well,let us see how our Mirchi madam manages this issue...