June 1st: Kuch toh hai Darmiyaan

The writers of this show make me so proud to be a viewer here - it's never said enough. Content. Direction. Plot. Dialogue. Nuances. Layering. TIMING. They just get it ALL right - and how!

We speculated and speculated more about how a "proposal" could go. Since we got such an early heads up in the week, and since we got some brilliant episodes in between before getting to today - we even figured that a proposal in itself - however too much too soon it may technically be - could be excused in some kinds of contexts. And then we speculated about the contexts themselves. The letter. The unopened last gift from Amar. Papa's words prompting Mohan. And just all the other tangents we thought about.

But in the end, what we got, was truly worth the wait - and justified every second of what was promised to be a BIG Friday! Fantastic stuff from the entire team - but my special word to the writers, always - to hold onto the "thinking" that goes into telling a story!

I guess what I loved MOST about the episode, was that amidst all that was speculated, and all that happened - Mohan's "proposal" came for ALL the right reasons. I personally would have excused him, but would have not wanted a confusion or half mind dilemma leading him to one. I would have wanted even less for him to be prompted by Papaji's words to jump the gun.

What I would have wanted - I know now, because it what happened - is Mohan pursuing his chase for HIMSELF. And then, her. And nobody else! Somehow, for all the distance and formality and courtesy that the MM bond maintains at all times - what they do have, is something very intimate between them. Something so intimate, that Mohan could not really bring himself to tell Guru about the letter last night. There is some business that is exclusively MM - and I'm VERY glad that the "proposal" if we can call it so in a loose sense, will remain one of those!

For a moment when Papaji lost himself in a trail of worrying about Megha, I truly sat at the edge of my seat desperately hoping Mohan would not feel what he had never felt for Megha - sorry, pity, or sympathy. And when he DID reach the park, just by the way he sat down, and started that conversation - I sent mental thanks to the writers. BIG ONES, to have kept Mohan true to what he was! There was NOT a trace of pity. He did not go to Megha as a friend. As just a friend. He could have. Very simply and easily, he could have taken the conversation along more neutral paths, just to hold her back, ease her out of the strain - just to comfort her, because she obviously looked SO blown up. But then - he would NOT be Mohan. Because Mohan has NEVER offered Megha a crutch! And if he had even briefly lapsed into consoling her mind of the dilemma, because her stress got him that much - I would have been very disappointed for the deviation. It may have come out as a far less heart wrenching scene - a far more "peace made" conclusion. But it would take us back into the same old vicious circle.

And so I was glad. To find Mohan full on confronting. Taking the bull by its horns. Attacking the core of the issue. Questioning her avoidance. Telling her he would not always be the one doing the talking so she could assume the convenience of silence! And for once, YES, Megha did talk. It did her good too. It's secondary that her words were more self preached and rehearsed - but she at least FINALLY got all the "rehearsing" out of her system - she NEEDED to! Because here's what. Megha has held onto a strange misconception for the last 24 hours or so now, that she wasn't telling Mohan what she "believes" to be the only truth, to not hurt him. And she thinks somewhere all her stress comes from holding in this "true answer". Whatever MM are supposed to start. Wherever they are supposed to go. It has to begin here, with this - with Megha letting her own notion of truth OUT in the open before Mohan. And it is only then, that she will find herself recoiling into a further dilemma. Because even henceforth - after CLARIFYING this stand with Mohan she will NOT find peace. She will in time discover, that her unrest was not from holding in the answer as she thought. And in further time she will realize, that she still IS holding on the REAL answer. Holding so strongly onto it, and burying it away so far and deep, that she has denied even herself the access - and that is causing her the stress. Not just keeping truth from the world. But pretending within her own self that she is clear and out, but having secrets in there, so deep in there - that they wont release her!

So Megha had to get this out. She had to get her half true notion of a past that was ethereal and could not be matched - a past she did not WANT to match again - out there. But it couldn't just end. Mohan got his share of classic lines. Because he had never come with the uncharacteristic idea of "sympathizing" with a "broken spirited" Megha - but had come with the RIGHT intention of confronting a very confused Megha who had now taken to the convenience of just hiding away from any signs and reminders of something she would HAVE to face - he DOES make her face it! It's interesting - and I can imagine Mohan sees it as no less - that Megha would choose to come feed the pigeons like old times to "reunite" with her times with Amar. That she would NEED to do THIS, to reconnect! It's funny, that the grand justice that has been delivered to her husband after such a prolonged struggle has NOT left her in peace - but greater dilemma. It's funniest of all - that Mohan and his words and his truth and his confrontation is bothering her on such a fundamental level - that she cannot, and HAS not truly yet rejoiced the liberation of Vyas family and Amar Vyas!

Instead. Here she is. Putting herself through the monotony of an entire day of just connecting with Amar and his memories. Because somewhere - in the whirlpool that has been these last few weeks and the presence of Mohan Bhatnagar - somehow, somewhere, in some odd ways, Amar has taken a back seat. And it has risen in her like a guilt with no parallels - that she cannot, no matter how she tries, get rid of Mohan from inside of her head! So she comes to a place and a memory and a habit that she can just fill her self and her head with to the extent that either there should remain no more space for Mohan (as it ideally should be) or, that Mohan just gets buried down deep enough for her to pretend he doesn't exist there anymore!

And apparently, whatever she was trying to do there, failed miserably. Because one glimpse of Mohan on the same bench many hands apart from her sets her packing off. A resolved Megha would NOT be setting off this way. A resolved Megha who had finally recovered her bearings would have CUT the chase, and gotten things cleared out. But obviously, she is far from resolved. So technically, her mega plans of shutting Mohan out of her life is just about avoiding the very sight of him, so that thinking of him is NOT something she gets confronted with! So that in time perhaps, she will just learn to - teach herself to - NOT think of him as perpetually as she does! She wants to keep Mohan at such a distance, that his presence cannot interfere with her "reconnecting project" with Amar! And that is where she is chasing after thin air! If Megha never needed Amar to actually BE THERE in person to remember him - it is hardly any different with Mohan. And THAT is what she will come to realize soon enough. Just shutting him out will hardly change the stats of her head.

And when Mohan tells her that no one can take Amar's place, that he doesn't WANT Amar's place - that he only wants to know where HE is in her life - THAT is the Mohan Bhatnagar we know! The Mohan Bhatnagar who never was and never will be God, and WILL think about himself, his love, and THEM! He is a REAL guy! And it's not like he hasn't had his ridiculous notions in the past. He held onto a chimera of a bond for 6 years, on pretexts of unfinished business DESPITE being the sane guy that he is. But you have to give it to him when you see how he learns his lessons and picks up the knack of going with the flow. He truly understands the vital lesson in life - of letting go. Because it is important for you. AND it is important for the others who MATTER to you! Because there is just NO way YOU can be in perpetual distress and hope to make people who are your world happy! Because somewhere "happy" is a very selfish sentiment and it starts at home. With you. Mohan is the kind of real guy who WILL and DOES put himself first, when he knows its right. And even when he tells Megha how unfair she is to people who hope for her to become the old person she once was - he is not talking philanthropy! He's being REAL! The happiness she can give to everyone around herself, including those 2 kids who are her world starts with HER. And I love - JUST LOVE - the way Mohan Bhatnagar as a character always seems like he discovers his own thoughts and words, right there, live, within the moment. The way he discovered he loved her, back in the farmhouse. The way he tells her today - that HE IS WAITING. There are thoughts in his head that he has never been acquainted with half as explicitly, until the VERY point that they actually come tumbling out of him - and Kunal as Mohan brings that side of Mohan to life in SUCH a real manner! That IS how real people are! They DO NOT have a script! They don't know when they walk into a confrontation exactly how they will go about it! Real people DON'T always HAVE the chance to be prepared for a confrontation - so they don't get to "rehearse" before mirrors. Real people, in the real world, confront real situations in a spontaneous way. Things happen, one thing leads to another and another and real people go through them in their own best of the moment but not always perfect ways! And real people DO DISCOVER bits and pieces of their own selves throughout their lives going through the sequence of events that make their days! And so does Mohan! It's interesting that it was a moment in which he realized he was in love. A moment in which he realized Megha was his "sab kuch". And a moment, in which he realizes, that he IS waiting for her! That he has been...

And of course, the way he looks at her after momentarily absorbing that self knowledge, the way his eyes betray NO SIGNS of taking it back, compel Megha to urge him yet again, feebly, in vain - she's such a half hearted person going through this drill, you cannot even BEGIN to expect Mohan to be ANYTHING other than what he is in this moment - unrelenting! Because just ONE hint from him, ONE SIGN, that he would let her be, and not press her, even just for a moment, and Megha would latch onto it!

But thank you writers - for NOT making that happen. Megha does NOT need a break here. She desperately needs to snap OUT of this perpetual timeout she has plugged herself into in fact, if at all! Confront the BIG picture of where her life is going. And I'm not saying finding direction in her life has to be about latching onto Mohan, or seeking him out! But I AM saying that confronting her now post Amar justice circumstances HAS to be about finding her new aim! For all these months since she was widowed, there was ALWAYS this one thing to accomplish. What next! Does she see herself coming to the park everyday to reconnect with Amar? Does she herself not literally getting into such a routine but becoming this poster girl of ideal widows who wallow like image from the once upon a time "Udaas TV" for her kids? Does she TRULY want to become what she once glared at and rebuked Nanhi for - a dukhiyaari widhwa maa - ?!?! If not - then Megha Vyas needs a plan. And okay. Mohan doesn't feature in that plan. Good enough. Who does! WHAT does? THAT is the stuff she REALLY needs to confront... and that Mohan relentlessly pursues her to DO SO bothers her because TECHNICALLY somewhere inside of her, Megha UNDERSTANDS - that she doesn't have a plan. And if she started to envision ANY plan now - she wouldn't know how to take Mohan OUT of that picture. He's already a part! And it is his part in her plan, that HE wants to know - doesn't he deserve to? Doesn't SHE deserve to see and tell? Don't the kids deserve it?

And I love therefore - what the writers gave us. A full on charged and confronting Mohan. NOT angry. NOT sympathetic. NOT confused or dilemma driven. But a VERY clear headed Mohan Bhatnagar who knows what HE wants. Knows there is SOMETHING that she wants. WANTS to know what. And will NOT cut the chase unless she lets it out! WAY TO GO Mohan! I'm not sure where Megha's outburst will leave him on Monday - since we don't even have a precap. And at this stage, just now, as overwhelmed as I am by today, I don't know what I want him to do - don't know immediately at least! But just this and here - what we got - PERFECT.

No less for Megha. I'm SO glad she FINALLY got that notion spoken out. If it IS as she thinks it is, well she can look forward to lighter days and time ahead. But going by the FB sequence - you kid yourself lady. You kid yourself BIG TIME. If anything, you have actually CROSSED the first hurdle in the path that leads you to the man you walk away from! Because by lashing out that "held onto faith" onto him - you have A) exposed it to HIS VERY practical and countering questions which WILL make you think and haunt you for some! B) You have actually broken your own mirage of Amar being the ONLY truth in your life. As you will soon see. I think the progress Megha makes in this seemingly regressive outburst is a FANTASTIC real touch from the writers too! That she in her OWN space and person would guard and defend herself obstinate as a bull in the way she did - VERY much given. And that the part myth will hence shatter for her, open NEWER dimensions in this problem she pretends doesn't exist to begin with - well - she really doesn't know what she let go of today, was her last "make belief" tool against Mohan 😆 In HER head, she was troubled by this whole chapter, because she couldn't hurt Mohan. Well she did that now, lol! Physically too! 😆 Let's watch her make peace with that! Forget the "guilt" of her behavior - let's just wait and watch her make peace with her truth as she imagines it!!! Oh Megha. I do feel for you. You're very real. Sadly, that makes your life as complicated as it is for real people. Too bad you didn't feature in a nice dhokla/jalebi show, or you could be having a ball withconphessions and consummations 😆

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ps: I know I left out some other very interesting things. Be back in a while to talk of those. I had to get MM out of my system first. And foremost!