"If love is shelter, I'm going to walk in the rain."
" Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
Khushi was summoned by Naniji to the living room and indeed Khushi was pleasantly surprised to see Buaji eagerly waiting to see her. Khushi being exultant just by the sight of mother figure hugged her tight as if there was no tomorrow. Finally when things were settled, buaji said that if she could take Khushi to Lakshminagar as dear babuji was missing her. It was finally decided that Khushi would be accompanying buaji and for a week or so. Anjali said she would convince Arnav and there wouldn't be any issues.
Khushi's trepidation was insurmountable because she had bigger issues weighing in her mind. It would be her last week at RM and the 6 month contract was just around the corner. She wanted to spend some time with Naniji and Anjali in particular at RM before her final exit. She didn't know what was waiting for her at the other end of the spectrum. But she wanted to make best use of her time during the last leg of her stay. She and Arnav had never discussed anything. For that matter Khushi was not sure if Arnav remembered or not. She was as confused as before about his feelings. She still couldn't understand what exactly was running in his mind. From her side she was all set to leave. The heartache that caused by thought of leaving HIM was one thing and to face everyone was another. She was just going with the flow right now. And the questions that would arise about the sudden turn of events!!! If only she knew the answers. The person who knew everything was evading her questions. There was only so much she could do. His indifferent attitude was too much to handle at times. Her desperation for his acceptance was driving her to edge. All her life she had craved for attention and love. Why had destiny designed her fate this way. She must have done something really bad in her previous life. Might be she was one brutal warlord. Who killed his subjects mercilessly at his whim. As if getting her answers Khushi exclaimed with annoyance. Little did she know that she was DM own child.
Before leaving RM she took Naniji's blessings, hugged Anjali and even Mami. She hugged Lakshmiji her best friend. Totally unaware of her sister's turmoil, Payal's banter that she was acting as if she would never return and it was just a matter of 7 days brought some lighter moments. In the evening when Arnav came home, it was awfully quite. He entered his room longing to hear that music of tinkling bangles and anklets. He was greeted by dead silence. That's when his Di gave him the where abouts of the music he was looking for. She had gone to her buaji's house for a week or so. While Arnav nodded he head but was fuming mad inside about not being informed. To satisfy his ego he thought at least he could enjoy the solitude now. He was craving for this isn't it!! That night was a real test of his guarded secret , being crazy about his wife. He was missing her already. He had to console himself with many different excuses that it was her constant jabbers that were the root cause, or her annoying habits that had encroached his personal space'.but nothing soothed his aching heart. He was mad at himself. What had happened to Arnav Singh Raizada. The morning was more challenging than night. Everything reminded of her. He had lots of client meetings and he couldn't let his brain be dead today. He hurried himself to work just to get out of this rut called Shantivan. He called his Di several times from work to make sure if there was any change at home front. Somewhere in the corner of his mind there was this wish that might be she is also in the same boat and missing him like crazy and wanted rush back home. But his Di didn't pass any such information!!! The following night was more agonizing.. Sleep was eluding him.. tossing and turning every minute , missing her, at moment he could do anything just to have a glimpse of her. He almost tried calling her several times and the last call was almost on the verge was being a miss call!!! He definitely was out of his mind as he was on the brink of getting caught. Why was his mind and heart playing games with him.
The next day his Di asked if he had enough sleep as he kind of looked groggy. He assured her that everything was fine in his paradise and just busy with work. Everyone around the morning breakfast table knew the reason and no one was buying this false statement. Aakash felt to have a field day and asked Payal if she talked to Khushi and asked the recipe for that Khatta aloo which she had prepared the other day!! Payal fully thrown out of balance and for being put in spot sprung for answers. She then got the hint from her husband and played along. Arnav was intently hearing every juicy bit of information coming his way!! That Khushi and buaji had been for a temple on the first day of her stay. And yesterday Khushi and her friend Sarita had a great time shopping in Lakshminagar bazaar. That's it. Arnav had it. Here he was sulking and brooding and miserable and there she was having whale of a great time. He wanted to give her a piece of his mind. If only he could meet her. That evening on the drive back from work, automatically his white beast wheeled to Lakshminagar. Absolutely without his knowledge. He had no say or go!! The nerve of his car not to listen to its master!!!By the time he reached her house there was a sudden downpour. Delhi had never witnessed this amount of rain in long time. Incessant rain fall with severe hails and lightening. Hailstones were splashing on the window glasses making the driving condition very dangerous. He finally reached her house. Bauji opened the door and was pleasantly surprised seeing him. She called on her titaliya to come to living room and to check who was at the door. She told Arnav that Khushi has been spending all her time in the room from past two days and she was devoid of all her charm. She not enjoying her stay here. Arnav knew he was taken for a ride by his little brother and his wife!!! But was happy that Khushi was in the same state as him. As soon as Khushi saw him, her face lit up and she rushed to get a towel to dry him. She started her parade of questions for his unexpected visit. If everything was well at RM and was there any reason for concern and what on earth was the reason for unexpected visit and that too in this harsh weather. Of course all in one breadth. Buaji chided her to give Arnav a break and wait for his response atleast. She was barging him with questions. Arnav just gave a small smile and said everything is fine. Buaji being a women of world understood everything. Newly wedded couple and distance keeping them apart!!.Poor kids' She carefully hinted Khushi about dinner arrangements. Khushi getting the cue excused herself and scurried to kitchen to arrange something for dinner.
After a couple of minutes spending in small talks, buaji came to the point. She said to Arnav that she understands how hard it would be for the couple to stay away from each other but after getting to know from Payal about that morning's turn of events she thought it would be in best interest of Khushi to be away from RM. She continued in abated breath about the audacity of that creep Shyam. How dare he could stoop to that level that in broad day light he could corner Khushi in kitchen. It was Nandkishore's blessings that Payal came to kitchen at right time and intruded and could scare him away. That slap she had given him was rightly called for and long due. She continued that when it came to Khushi,Payal was a tigress and could protect her cub going to any extent. She said Khushi must have shared everything with him as she and Garima has witnessed during Holi how Arnav protected Khushi's virtue intervening when that pervert was about smear the gulal. How she was ever thankful to Nandkishore for Arnav's presence in Khushi's life. She continued it was all her fault and Khushi had nothing to do with that Shyam. His sweet talks and sugarcoated words spell magic and bauji became so mesmerized by that. She couldn't even imagine that he was nothing but a rogue and playing with two families. She was the one who forced Khushi into engagement and Khushi was disinterested in this relationship from the beginning. She had confided to her babuji that she was not interested and Shashi babua had some inclination about the deeds of Shyam and had given his apprehension all along. She was the one who never listened to anyone and was root cause of the doom that befell on them. And on that fateful day when Khushi saw Shyam in RM, the entire world collapsed for them. They all sat and talked about it and finally decided to tell Anjali. And as destiny would have its way, the next day when Khushi was about to tell Anjali, seeing her reaction about the Mangalsutra Khushi became tongue tied and decided against it and just mentioned about the breakup of her engagement. How she wanted to apologies for everything and so far had not got any one on one time with Arnav. She profusely thanked him for understanding them and Khushi and said was ever in debt with Arnav. She said by now he must have already understood how lucky he was to have Khushi in his life and if she knew any better everyone in RM must be missing her. Even the walls of RM might be screaming of boredom missing the mistress.
If it was timed, it must be just a 20 minute talk. But for Arnav it meant a world of difference. All the while before buaji opened this can, his heart and mind were in a fight. His mind was not letting him believe what his heart was trying to tell him. Everything was clear now. Khushi was as much a victim as his Di. And to top it off she was taking his wrath without any knowledge or reason behind it. Added to this she was facing the lewd advances from the creep and had to take all this with silence. And the jibes and cruel treatment he had hurled on her. Was there any end to his guilt trip. How was going to face her. His trail of thoughts were disturbed by the very source of these emotions. She absolutely had no idea about the tsunami which had just hit the coast in her husband's life. She duly asked him to freshen up for dinner as everything was ready. Mechanically Arnav followed her every request totally lost in a different world. He had connected all the pieces of the puzzle. He now knew everything that this little girl had been through. Everyone including him was at fault but her. All along she was tossed around as a furniture and had endured the burnt of injustice. And never asking anything in return and in fact trying to accommodate everything with a smile. Her antics were sure crazy but behind all this she was hiding her insecurities. For acceptance. She wanted to be loved.
He felt this sudden urge to swoop her off her feet and carry her to some place far off and make her feel so special and shower all the love she deserved. Give her that assurance that he loved her to core and he understood her. He was her protector and would fight every evil being on her way. Would she trust him enough after the truth behind their marriage. Would she love him back. Would she ever be back in his life. With him it was always this way. It would just take few minutes in terms of universe's time for some unexpected event to happen but that would change the course of his life. Be it the fateful day of his parents death, Di's wedding, Khushi in his life for the first time, their wedding and today his conversation with buaji. In all other incidences he was a victim. He faced everything with guts and had made a place for himself and his Di in this world. He was spiteful for world in general for throwing him and his Di in such situation for no fault of theirs. But for the last one, he was a culprit. He had victimized an innocent girl who was an orphan. And the girl was love of his life. She was a girl who wanted to spread happiness everywhere. She was a fountain of joy and positivity.
He didn't know what was served and what he ate. Small talks were never his forte and he had his dinner in silence as always. Khushi filled that void with her presence. After dinner Buaji said it wouldn't be safe for him to drive as it was pouring heavily and the road conditions might be miserable. It would be really dangerous. She advised him to spend the night in GH and signaled Khushi to make arrangements. When they were in the room Khushi read his face and knew he was in a quandary. She was in her own blocked mind which was about the contract marriage and its expiration. She connected the two together and with her usual flair to solve problems offered him solution. She said Aranvji I can understand your current situation. You don't have to give too much thought to it as I have a solution. Early morning you can leave to RM and I will manage buaji and amma. Also after this week, when it will be time for me to return I will give them some vague reasons to postpone the stay. I have already made arrangements for my future with help of Sharmaji ,my business partner. Actually it so happened that we got an opportunity to deliver our dabbas to women's hostel .Thats when I got an idea that after 6 months I can also go and stay there. It was actually a saving grace for me. I still have to come up with proper plan and convince buaji and amma and babuji. You see I don't want them to face the neighborhood gossips. They have done so much to me. I just cannot put them on spot anymore.
Arnav already being on a rollercoaster ride just had enough. Khushi's words just added to his woes. Contract!!!.. He had almost forgotten about that. Don't they say. Reap what you sow. Probably today was the day to reckon Arnav Singh Raizada's mental stability. How much stress it could withstand. He had a Deja vu. That day it was self pitying day. Today mere mortification. How could he believe in that creep and misjudge Khushi. Lots of decision had to be made. He had two options. To tell Khushi what he saw on terrace and what he thought. Or just postpone it for time being and convince Khushi about his true feelings. If he opted for the first one, the consequences would be severe. Khushi will never return to RM. He will have no contacts with her. She will shun him totally. He will not be able to reason with her at all. And added to this he will have to explain it to family and his Di's health was at stake.
The second option sounded more feasible . They say everything is fair in love and war. For him it was nothing short of a war to win back his love. It was surely going against his ethics. He was never a man to hide anything. But now he had to do what he had to do. Practicality was the issue here. Principles be damned. When it came to life and death what choices do you have. While this train was thoughts were running in his head, his wife was scrutinizing him and waiting for answers. He made her sit on the bed and looked into her eyes. Khushi knew something was going to hit her home turf and this was not a good feeling. He said why didn't you tell me about Shyam. And the lid was open. Khushi staggered by what she had heard, started shaking. She couldn't put words together. Normally her brain which functioned almost in the pace of Olympic race just froze. While she was struggling for answers, there was a knock on the door. It was buaji who had come to give extra blankets and pillows and water. Seeing Khushi, buaji worried sick asked if everything was well and why was she so bleached. Khushi just evaded her questions and wished her good night. Arnav still waiting for answers was intently looking at his wife. That delicate frame, slender shoulders was carrying what an amount of weight all these days and all the while being judged by him. After the brief interruption Khushi collected herself and was ready to answer. She said Arnavji you have to believe me what I am saying. It was done only with good intention. And she said what have conspired on the eventful day. Arnav grasped her hand and said Khushi I totally have faith in you. My only quandary here is that didn't you come to me. But nothing is too late now. I will take care of things. And regarding the contract just forget it. Tomorrow morning we both are leaving to our house. Saying this he kissed on her forehead and took his side of the bed. The rough day he had and upheaval journey ahead wanted him to just call it a day.
It was almost a month after she had come back to RM. Things were pretty normal. They were roommates if nothing else. But had become good friends for sure. They had gotten used to routine of playing husband and wife. Things that had changed were Arnav was one attentive husband. And both were sleeping on the same bed with pillows as barricades. All other arrangements were same. It all started with a simple thing as cleaning the closet. Khushi was cleaning her side of the closet and that's when she chanced upon to see this envelope. She didn't remember keeping that. Out of curiosity she opened it and found a letter. From the look of the paper she could guess it was pretty old. And it was addressed to Chote's bahu. So it was in the hands of rightful owner. Khushi read the contents. She had an epiphany moment. It was all about her husband. His character essence. What stood out in that letter was Gussa bardhast kar lena and pyaar soot sameth vapas kar lena. It kept running in her mind. Tears flowed. She was riveted to the words of that letter. She lost count about the number of times she read. She was rooted to the same spot as if glued and wept for long time. She made a decision.
In the evening when Arnav came he saw his wife draped in a beautiful saree. It was deep red in color, the dot on her forehead looked bigger than usual. She was looking very beautiful. She had a strand of jasmine flower adorning her open hair. And her hands were decked with his mom's bangles and nothing else. It was a sight to behold for his eyes. When he was just getting mesmerized by her, a thought occurred. Oh no. Hope its not one of her Swami antics. Bringing him out of his reverie ,she said Aap aa gaye. She was calm and composed and definitely not hyper. So that was a breather for Arnav. As if ignoring her, he rushed to freshen up. When he came back tea and snacks was waiting for him along with his wife. She definitely looked different today. Very matured. As if reading his mind she said Arnavji can we go to temple today. It would mean a lot to me if you accompany me. You don't have to enter the sanctorum. I will pay my obeisance and be back in a jiffy. Your presence would mean a lot to me.
On the way to the temple Khushi in her deep thoughts asked can you tell me something about Maaji. Arnav taken aback replied Khushi you are definitely asking a wrong person. Di would be the best person to answer you. I keep my distance from this Maaji's ,Swamijis and Babajis of the world. Getting the drift Khushi said I am asking about your mother. Arnav took a deep breath. He said Di could be a replica of mama. Her demeanor and approach to me is very much like mama .My mom was epitome of patience and love. I would spend hour together just sleeping on her lap. Di and myself always followed her like puppies. It was one of the most beautiful times of my life. Saying this he stopped and looked pensive. Giving him his space Khushi didn't probe any further. She so wanted to meet this mother figure. Having lost her mom at a tender age, she always dreamt of having a mother in law. Atleast she had this letter and she was thankful for that.
After the dinner when everyone retired Khushi stayed behind for a while. She went to the mandir, took DM's blessings and entered their room. Arnav was as usual working on his laptop. Gaining his attention she said she wanted to talk to him. She continued Arnavji I don't know what your feelings are for me. I still cannot conclude. Today I have decided to open up my feelings for you. I rightfully want to be your wife. In every aspect. I want to you to exercise your rights on me and I would also want to do the same. I want us to be real husband and wife and not just roommates. I want to start our life together. I want to spend rest of my life being called your wife and nothing else. I want us to rear a family together. She gave Arnav a jolt of his life in one go!!!
Arnav for sure will be in great trepidation. She is seeking his love and very vocal about it but he is carrying this baggage. What should he do??? I will leave it to your discretion'.
The sun will stand as your best man
And whistle
When you have found the courage
To marry forgiveness
When you have found the courage
to marry
Love.
Current Affairs
Anupamaa
