Is parents approval necessary - Page 10

Originally posted by: hima_123

I read your story just now...My heart completely goes out to you...😳...
wish you all the best in life...keep yourself emotionally balanced, whatever be your situation...😊...I think you're going through a tough time...my heartfelt wishes go out for you...your husband would be a lucky guy to have you...

Originally posted by: KyunkiImafan

First of all Thank you Ankit for your kind words and mentioning me in your post.

And thanks to all of you who showed your support. And as the post is the central point of my life since past 4 years I think I'll give a lil background to tell my view.

I have been raised in US from past 14 years and people find it very strange that I who moved to US at very young age is so rooted to my culture and religion. I have been my dad's princess, friend and daughter more than my moms. My dad being the open-minded, non-biased and amazing person he is, has changed after moving to US. He raised me to believe that all people are equal, no one is bad cause they eat non-veg or because they are of diff jati/cast/religion. He's always been open about me talking to guys when I was younger, he always told me I would have the right to choose my humsafar when it comes to it. And I lived with this understanding for 24 years and then all of sudden out of nowhere my dad informs me that I can't choose as he wants that I being an Indian in US should only have an arrange marriage!! Now I have tried all my life to do all that I can do for my parents, and I had a dream of buying a house for them which I finally achieved in 2009! Now the trouble I am having is of my own upbringing from my dad that he is going against, I understand that loves me dearly and can't imagine having me far from him but am I wrong for wanting him to understand that I am only doing what he taught me to do? I fell in love cause I knew they would understand...I strongly believed that he knows me better than anyone can and knows that whatever I have and will do is keeping him in mind. But he has decided to not show me any understanding which breaks my heart in so many ways that I can't explain.

I did choose the first option and broke up with my bf and wow was my life more miserable than I thought it would be. My mom couldn't take it, and she decided to see things through and supports me now along with my younger brother and my whole mom's side of family. Now no one has ever been able to make my dad see anything and so no one has any hopes for making him understand.

And so here I stand, still trying to figure out, does my dad think that if I have an love marriage, it decreases his importance for me? Does he think if I live in India (I never wanted to move to US and in 14 years of me being here, I have told him over and over that I want to move back) my life wont be good? Does he think if my would be hubby eats non-veg that I will eat it too? (which is purely impossible as I strong believe in not doing so and haven't done so even by staying at a place where at times the only veggi food is gaspus!)

So in all of this, I have come to an understanding, that is, the daughter that I am today is because of my dad and that same dad is standing against me with reasons that even my mom can't understand. At this point is it valid for the daughter to tell her dad, ke pappa I love you more than anything but do you truly want that I marry just some random person because you want me to and leave all my happiness behind? But just tell me dad, do you have any guarantee that I will be happy wit this stranger than the person who I have been in love with for 5 years? Who has shown me immense support, love, care and respect? And agar you absolutely don't want me to marry my love please grant me the freedom to choose not to marry anyone else! But he won't grant me that freedom and I can't ruin someone else's life. So I am still trying along with my mom to make him understand aur I absolutely wish I don't have to go against him but if I have to I hope bhagwan forgives me for doing so along with my dad somewhere down my life.

So seeing how JG have done things, really upsets me and I feel not just J is at fault but jo paap mei bhagidar ho woh bhi to papi kehlata hai na. Jo paap sahe woh bhi galat jo paap kare woh bhi galat aur jo paap mei support de woh bhi galat. Pyaar karna is not wrong but betraying your parents, defying your responsibilities, hurting your loved ones and then torturing them to accept is wrong in every way and therefore I stand against JG.

wow post bahot lambi ho gayi, sorry for it. But these feeling are not what I share with people but I guess when you don't know people you can tell them and feel slight bit better and I would like to thank each one of you for making me feel better. Ah now I can stop crying! 😊