Today I had to sit through the most boring conference in my entire life. 10hrs, 15 speakers and not a single equation - every single talk was plain boring. Worst part was practically no vegetarian food other than some fruits and boiled cauliflowers as I was only vegetarian of the 150 participants. My nightmare came true today. So I finished editing my 5 page manuscript to 3 page and two updates for this FF. I started writing one and ended up writing so long that made it into. So Part 8 is here. Part 9 will be posted in few hours. I have not proof read this but will try to do it later.
Thanks Eva and Anjula. I aim to please.
Part 8
Aham gave the ice cream to Mani and told her to inform his Mom. He turned to go to his room and then stopped and called Mani. 'Mani! Make sure that Gopi eats and you too!'. The stunned face of Mani made him conscious and he climbed up two stairs at a time. He decided not to tell Gopi about meeting Panna. He felt that it might give her unnecessary ideas. After he changed he went to his parents' room. He was mildly surprised to see both his parents were there - his father was reading some books and taking notes and his mom was sorting through the laundry. He told his Mom that he wanted to talk to her about Gopi. They both looked up at him and were silent for a few moments.
Then his Mom said, "What is there to tell Aham? You have made up your mind and you want her out as soon as Maa leaves. Now, if you want her out of your room, it is not possible. You don't want that to happen for the same reason you brought her back. So, what is the point in wasting our time in discussing the same thing again and again? I am sure you have other things to do and I too have lots of things to do."
Aham was taken aback by his Mom's brusque manner. He looked at his Papa and got no support from there. 'Yeah! what can I expect from him? He never was interested in me. Now that he has Gopi to appreciate him, why would he even think about me?' He told aloud, "Mom! I learnt something about Gopi today and I want to discuss with you about this."
She stopped him and said, "What Aham? What did you learn new? Did you find more ways in which she is unfit for you? The reasons you have given me are enough. There is no point in building your case stronger here. I accepted and let you choose whatever you wanted to do with her. It would be nice if you left her alone and not hurt her more. I believe I taught you that much, not to hurt somebody unnecessarily or did I fail you here like I did with Kinjal?"
"Mom! Please listen to me for a minute. I really need to discuss something important with you. No! please don't stop me. Let me say what I wanted to say. In the past two days I learnt that Gopi is being treated like a servant by her Mami and when she goes back, she will have the same fate."
"So? What can you do about it? You want me to talk to that lady and ask her to treat Gopi better? How can I do that? Will she not tell me to keep Gopi here if I am that very interested in her welfare? You want me to get advice from her as to how to treat my vahu?"
Aham was getting annoyed. "Mom! please listen to me without interrupting. I don't want you to talk to anybody. I dont also want people pointing fingers at me or for that matter, our family, that I left my wife at the mercy of a vicious woman. So I don't want her to go back to her Mami's place. No! please dont interrupt. I dont want her here too."
His Mom was really angry and she asked him "What are you telling Aham? Either you want her here or not. If you dont want her as your wife, you cannot tell her where to go and where not to. And dont tell me about people talking about you or our family. They will do it anyway. They will simply talk that you took a poor innocent girl as your wife, got bored with her and sent her off. They will also talk that we all covered it using our money."
"Mom! What do you mean? You know the truth. How could you say that I got bored? I was never even interested in her."
"But Aham, that is what people will say. Don't tell me that you did not think of this."
Aham did not know how to proceed. He thought that if he told that he was giving some sort of a settlement for Gopi, Mom would accept and help him. But Mom is not even ready to listen to him. He also noted that she was not even calling him Dikra and only Aham. He really needed her opinion on his suggestions. He cannot have Gopi in his life, neither can he leave her to the mercy of her Mami. So, he decided to try a different tactic.
"Ok Mom! I didnt think that far. But I wanted to talk to you about that. I wanted to find an alternative so that Gopi does not have to suffer under her Mami. I have some ideas and I want your suggestions. Please Mom! help me here."
"Fine Aham! tell me what you have in mind."
Aham said, "Mom! I was thinking that we can get a tutor for Gopi till she is here to help her get some diploma. Then she can get a job and take care of herself. She need not go and stay with her Mami."
He saw a significant look pass between his parents and surprisingly his Papa said, "But Dikra, it will take a long time. You know that she has never been to a school. So, what are you suggesting? That she be here till she gets a diploma. You should know that the fastest will be in few years and that too if Gopi is exceptionally brilliant and has a super memory."
Aham just remembered something and said, "Papa! I know that she has good memory. She once recited an address for me after hearing just once. So that should not be a problem. But then, I am not yet done. I was thinking that I can settle some money on her or make some investments for her. She can rent a house and continue her studies. Then she can take up a job if she wants or continue to live on the interest. What do you think?"
Now his Mom interrupted. "Aham! She is a young girl who is hardly exposed to the outside world. Don't you know what could happen to her, if she is alone and that too if people know that she is separated from her husband? At least, Gopi is safe that way in her Mama's house. By the way, how can we be sure that her Mami will not trouble her there? Are you planning to arrange for security guards or do you plan to do that yourself?"
Aham was again confused with more questions. 'How can I solve these issues? Or are these trick questions? Is Mom trying to make me say that Gopi can stay here? Yeah right! As if! That will never happen. Still, I need to answer these questions else she wont allow me to carry on with my plan.'
"Mom! I need some time to come up with solutions. In the meantime, could you at least arrange for a tutor for her? I can ask my secretary tomorrow to get hold of some names. This need not wait, right? Or do you have any objections to this too."
Once again, his parents gave a exchanged a meaningful look and his Papa answered, "Aham! you don't worry about that. We have found a tutor and she has started her studies. In her tutor's opinion, she is a very good and an eager student."
Aham felt sad that his parents did not think to inform him of this. 'Is this what she is doing secretly in the evenings. But then, what is Papa doing there?' He had a doubt that it is his father who is teaching Gopi. So he asked them, "Mom! Who is her tutor? Is it Papa? Is that what happens in the evenings?". His Mom gave his father a smug smile. Papa replied, "Yes Aham. I am her tutor. Why are you looking shocked? Do you think that I am unfit to even teach some basics to an illiterate?" Aham pulled back and said "Sorry Papa! I did not mean that. This news caught me unaware. If you need any help let me know. I can get all the necessary stuff. Are you going down for dinner? It is time." He was silent, as usual, during dinner and again left early quoting work. But his mind was busy processing the latest information.
When he left his parents' room, the first feeling that hit Aham was envy. He was envious of Gopi that she managed what he could not with his father. His father, who practically had no time to even look at his good grades, is giving lessons to Gopi. 'All those days in school when I worked hard to impress him And why Papa mentioned being unfit? Yes, I avoid him and be with Kaka most of the time. Does Papa feel that I dont think much of him? Is that not true? Do I not feel bad that he is not as good as Kaka in making money? All these days, did I also hurt him as I thought he had hurt me?" Aham was both hurt and ashamed by this. 'It looks like I have been roughshodding around here. Why is that I come up short in every relationship? I dont like what I saw of me in the last few days. Should I change? Change to what? Like Jigar - smiling and joking and chattering? Nobody seems to have any problem with him. Or God forbid, like Gopi, very biddable. But no! She is not biddable always, at least with me. Did she not refuse to reveal Umang's name even after I threatened her? My goodness! This Gopi always sneaks into my thoughts. Stupid girl! But, how do I change? Should I talk more or smile more? will I not look like a fool? If I change, will anybody respect me? Will I still be the same guy who commands respect from others? But then, is that respect or is that something else? And, why should I alone change? Why is that my own family cannot understand me? I do love them.' At that moment, Aham had a revelation. 'Can I expect my family to understand me as I am without doing the same to them?Have I always been taking without giving anything back? I know (or rather hope) that my family loves me. But do they like me? Do I want to be likable? Will that not change my entire identity? Then again, what did I gain being this way all these days? I thought that I am hardworking, no-nonsense guy who always gets the results. And, here I am, isolated in a big family. Everybody is distant with me. Do I even have somebody to share this confusion with me? I thought that Mom was always with me. But no! It looks I managed to hurt her too. I feel all alone. I dont know. Too many thinks to think about. Oh! I have to check with Jigar if he needs some help.' That thought saved him from feeling something close self-pity. Aham checked with Jigar and gave him suggestions. He saw that Jigar was focussed in his things and did not want to disturb him. When he went back to his room, Aham felt even lonelier and unwanted. He thought, 'I started all this thinking process to come up with some plan for sending Gopi! And, what happened? In just two days, not only I am thinking of supporting her, but I am finding out my imperfections."
As he was thinking these things, Gopi entered the room and hesitated. His first reaction was annoyance and was about to shout. Then he saw the fear in her face and grimaced. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. Then he asked her, in what he thought was a softer voice, "what is it?" She did her usual "Ji! woh.." business. With some effort he ignored his annoyance and told her, "Gopi! Tell whatever you wanted to tell soon. I am tired and I need to get up early." "Ji! that is, Papa told me that you know about my studies. I am sorry that I did not inform you. I hope it is okay with you." Aham did not know what he should say. He just nodded his head. He remembered the secrecy and said, "You dont have to do it in secret. You can alway bring your books here and work if you want." Her face brightened and told him "Thank you Ahamji. Now Maaji and Papa must be asleep. I will bring my books tomorrow and study whenever you are working."
Aham felt nice hearing this and thought this was because, he was doing something directly good to somebody. May be this is the reason many people do social work and general service. Is this what Gopi feels when she takes care of the family?
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R&R as usual. Part 9 follows in few hours.
Edited by br2499 - 15 years ago
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